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Lauren: We've talked about
budgeting and time management as

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our first two important life
skills. So where does that bring

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us for number three? Healthy
communication skills. I almost

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called it conflict resolution
skills, because I felt like that

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was really important, but I went
with a more all encompassing

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term. If you missed our first
two episodes in this series of

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life skills every high school
student needs to master, or at

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least be familiar with before
they leave high school, head

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00:00:24,630 --> 00:00:27,000
back to the last two episodes of
High School Counseling

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Conversations to listen. I've
linked them in the show notes,

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but you can just as easily head
back to the show and binge them

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in order.

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You got into this profession to
make a difference in your

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students' lives, but you're
spread thin by all of the things

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that keep getting added to your
to do list. I can't create more

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hours in the day, but I can
invite you into my counselor

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clique where you'll finally
catch your breath. Come with me

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as we unpack creative ideas and
effective strategies that'll

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help you be the counselor who
leaves a lifelong impact on your

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students. I'm Lauren Tingle,
your high school counseling hype

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girl, here to help you energize
your school counseling program

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and remind you of how much you
love your job.

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Healthy communication skills
find themselves presenting as

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important in our homes, in our
schools, in our workplaces, in

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our relationships, and literally
in everyday interactions with

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strangers and people we have to
or get to encounter each day.

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When we get into communication
skills, these definitely fall

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into the social skills of the
behaviors in our ASCA mindsets

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and behaviors list. Man, when I
read that column, it was just

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hard to pick one or two.

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If I were you and I was setting
out to teach or nurture

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communication skills with my
students, I just scroll down

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that list myself and pick the
best two or three that

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correspond to whatever I was
specifically teaching or kind of

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what outcomes I wanted to see. A
lot of key characteristics in

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these social skills involve
interacting with people who are

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different from you, possibly
figuring out how to do that

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while you're on a team,
interacting in ways that are

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effective and meaningful, those
are kind of like some of the

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themes. I'm confident that the
ways that we choose to

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communicate with others will
either set us on a trajectory

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that allows us to further
positive relationships or cut us

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off socially from relationships
that could be really life giving

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and fruitful, like we have a
decision to make and a path to

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choose to go down.

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I think it's important to keep
in mind that we counselors

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probably have a very healthy
perspective of how to

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communicate, what healthy
communication looks like, how

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you'd respond when you found
yourself in a really toxic

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place. At least, you'd probably
be able to recognize these

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things. And we have students who
very rarely have seen positive

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examples of this. Their norm may
be something that we would tell

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them to run really far from, but
they don't have the skills to

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kind of sort through that.

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Sometimes the best and
healthiest relationships they're

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experiencing are at school. I
just think like what a privilege

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it is to be able to speak into
those and show them love and

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care and support in this way, by
the way that we use our words to

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communicate with each other and
care for each other.

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Healthy communication is
important to practice, even when

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it's hard or challenging or the
other person doesn't always seem

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to deserve it. You know what I'm
talking about, even people who

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you love sometimes don't feel
like they deserve healthy

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communication from you because
you're getting a little

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frustrated. What do you do when
you're really frustrated on the

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phone with someone on customer
service with a company, and

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you're not getting what you
think you fairly deserve? What

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if the store doesn't seem like
they're honoring their return

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policy, but you didn't even wear
the shirt that you're trying to

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return? I can think of a lot of
justice situations that would

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fire me up and frustrate me, but
you catch more flies with honey.

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So let's talk about how to
communicate in a way that gets

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your point across and is
healthy, so that you can at

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least set the example for other
people, whether you feel

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justified in the way you're
talking or not.

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Are you a new high school
counselor navigating your role

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for the first time? Maybe you've
started in this role mid year

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where you're dreaming of getting
your first job when you finish

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up your internship. I've got the
perfect free resource for you.

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00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:09,350
Head to
counselorclique.com/newcounselorplaylist

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for a curated Spotify playlist,
just for new high school

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00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:15,800
counselors. This tailored
resource will help you level up

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your counseling skills, boost
your confidence and gain some

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wisdom that will ease your
transition for your beginning

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00:04:21,590 --> 00:04:25,130
years. With episodes like what I
wish I knew as a beginning high

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school counselor to mistakes to
avoid in high school counseling,

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you'll be ready for anything
that comes your way. Get ready

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to hit play on your podcast
player and start your journey

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with confidence, inspiration and
expertise. Head to

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00:04:37,490 --> 00:04:41,570
counselorclique.com/newcounselorplaylist.
Happy listening.

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My favorite way to practice
communication skills with

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students is 100% role play and
scenarios. It would be really

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hard to master strong
communication skills without

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ever practicing any
communicating to get there. With

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role playing scenarios, you
could have them read full on

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scripts. You could have them
pull scenarios from cards, like

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out of a basket or a hat. You
could have a conversation

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starter and then somebody has to
answer the question and then ask

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another question to somebody
else in the group, or they ask

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another conversation starter to
the next person. You could have

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challenging scenarios that
really push them to have to

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troubleshoot, either
individually or with a group

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think.

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Some of my favorite and most fun
memories are seeing kids really

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have that light bulb moment from
a really challenging social

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scenario card from some sort of
classroom lesson I was doing

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where they had to communicate
their feelings, or pretend like

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they're talking to adults, sort
out friendship issues or bring

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up something difficult with a
boss. Even if they've never been

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in that scenario before, it
really makes them think and kind

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of evaluate what their own
values are, and practice saying

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something potentially hard. It
always gets rowdy, and a lot of

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times they get stumped, but like
in the best ways as they're

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trying to come up with their
answers for these scenarios or

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questions.

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You can probably think back to
when you started as a high

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school counselor and you hated
calling angry parents back. Or

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maybe that's still you. I don't
know who loves doing that, but

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it just doesn't go away just
because you avoid it. You know

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you have to step into that, even
though it's messy, and

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inevitably, no matter how much
you practice, it is still

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complicated, and so is every
relationship and conversation,

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because we're dealing with
humans. You may never be

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perfect. I'm gonna be willing to
guess you're never going to be

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perfect, but the more you
practice, the more confidence

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you can have as you build in
yourself, some confidence and

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some more self awareness that
you bring to the table.

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I'm saying this to us as
counselors, but also like you

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can communicate this to
students. The same way that we

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are building our confidence and
self awareness, we want our

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students to have those same
skill sets. We want them to

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build that self efficacy muscle
like it has to be practiced and

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strengthened and master that
self advocacy skill that'll push

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them farther into successful
relationships at home, work,

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school and into the real world.

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I'm going to link a few
resources that I mentioned were

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my favorites, so that you can
poke around and see what might

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be helpful for you and your
students. Don't be afraid to use

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chat GPT and get really specific
for some scripts that can help

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you facilitate some really good
conversations in terms of

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scenarios with your students
around some of these topics. Go

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specific in each of these
categories, and I think you'll

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get something good that comes
out of it.

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Let's help our high school
students not live with regrets

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of not practicing or mastering
these three life skills sooner.

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Thanks for listening to this
three part series all about some

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important life skills your
students can be working on now

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while they're still in high
school. Those were budgeting,

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time management and healthy
communication.

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The greatest two ways that you
can show your support for this

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00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:48,570
show are one, leaving a review
on Apple podcasts. Yes, I'm

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00:07:48,570 --> 00:07:50,940
talking to you. If you are
listening and you haven't left a

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00:07:50,940 --> 00:07:54,510
review, go smash that five star
button now and go leave a review

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in Apple podcasts, then hit the
share button and share it with a

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00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:00,150
friend. That's the number two
greatest way you can show your

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00:08:00,150 --> 00:08:03,570
support. If you're a pod
listener, show the love. Don't

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00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:07,080
just be a bystander or consumer.
You're an active participant in

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00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,840
where we take this show. So go
be the counselor that does

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something about it. I appreciate
it. I'll see you next week.

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Thanks for listening to today's
episode of High School

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00:08:16,260 --> 00:08:19,590
Counseling Conversations. All
the links I talked about today

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00:08:19,590 --> 00:08:21,810
can be found in the show notes
and also at

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00:08:21,810 --> 00:08:26,370
counselorclique.com/podcast. Be
sure to hit follow wherever you

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listen to your podcast so that
you never miss a new episode.

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Connect with me over on
Instagram. Feel free to send me

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00:08:32,670 --> 00:08:37,740
a DM @counselorclique, that's C,
L, I, Q, U, E. I'll see you next

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week.