THEME SONG:

Everybody's got an opinion.

THEME SONG:

Every Californian and Virgininan.

CHELSEY:

Hello?

TREY:

Hi.

TREY:

Hi, welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY:

...reviews!

CHELSEY:

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

TREY:

And that's Chelsey Donn

CHELSEY:

and that's Trey Gerrald.

TREY:

And when we come together, we form

VOICEOVER:

The Review Queens.

CHELSEY:

How's your crown today, Trey?

TREY:

My crown is great today.

TREY:

It's feeling very pointy and spiky.

TREY:

It's a Monday and a little peek behind the curtain.

TREY:

Uh, we're recording episode five right now.

TREY:

We are launching the podcast on Wednesday.

TREY:

So we have less than 48 hours before it's launched into the world.

TREY:

So it's a very exciting time and busy time, but yeah, I'm doing great.

TREY:

How are you?

CHELSEY:

I'm doing great.

CHELSEY:

I just came from oh, a weekend in Ojai.

CHELSEY:

And I am just, you know, more spiritual and relaxed than ever.

CHELSEY:

So I feel good.

TREY:

Wait, so what's Ojai?

TREY:

Explain it to me.

TREY:

I don't really know.

CHELSEY:

Oh, Ojai is a part of town outside of LA.

CHELSEY:

It's like not very far, it's about an hour and a half or so away, and

CHELSEY:

You go there and you just want to be a better person and take in nature and look

CHELSEY:

And it just makes all the trivial things that we deal with every day in life that get us down.

CHELSEY:

It just makes it seem insignificant when compared to the beautiful, vast nature of Ojai.

CHELSEY:

So I highly recommend it

TREY:

That sounds beautiful.

TREY:

Was there, um, any specific reasons...that you were on a trip over the weekend?

CHELSEY:

There might be a reason...

CHELSEY:

it was my birthday, or, it is my birthday tomorrow in real time.

CHELSEY:

So I was going for my birthday.

TREY:

Oh my gosh.

TREY:

So when you're hearing this listeners, uh, her birthday was two weeks ago

CHELSEY:

No!

CHELSEY:

When you're oh, yes.

CHELSEY:

I guess when you're hearing this...

CHELSEY:

It's true.

CHELSEY:

My birthday is June 22nd, which happens to be the same birthday as Meryl Streep, which

TREY:

Well, my, I share a birthday March 14th with, um, an Instagram

TREY:

I saw that today, but also Albert Einstein and Taylor Hanson.

CHELSEY:

I love that for us.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

This is very positive and that's wonderful.

TREY:

But do you have any, um, complaints you want to lodge?

CHELSEY:

Always.

CHELSEY:

I think that it's time that we...

VOICEOVER:

Lodge A Complaint.

CHELSEY:

I think....

VOICEOVER:

LODGE A COMPLAINT!

CHELSEY:

Let's Lodge A Complaint!

CHELSEY:

Always feels so good when we do it.

CHELSEY:

I'm gonna Lodge A Complaint today against bad To-Go Containers.

CHELSEY:

I think.

CHELSEY:

This is, , something that a lot of restaurant owners maybe don't pay enough attention to.

CHELSEY:

And also I'm wondering why certain things haven't changed.

CHELSEY:

For me, obviously the styrofoam, that's pretty offensive, you know, like you're just one small

CHELSEY:

I don't know why that's still a thing, but for me, the worst offense is, you know, those.

CHELSEY:

Foil ones that I'm sure they're like, so you can reheat your food.

CHELSEY:

Like how nice.

CHELSEY:

Right?

CHELSEY:

Like I have a little device, but I also have to like unfold, like all the way around.

CHELSEY:

And then if I want to like, do it again, then I have to like refold all the way down.

CHELSEY:

And if you get like the fold, even the littlest bit off that it's like gotta start all over again.

CHELSEY:

And it's maddening and I just wish.

CHELSEY:

I just wish someone would come out with a better To-Go container that

CHELSEY:

That's also not styrofoam and not terrible for the environment.

CHELSEY:

And I think we've been sleeping at the wheel with the, To-Go containers.

CHELSEY:

So whoever is out there and feel so inspired to be the inventor of the, To-Go

CHELSEY:

That we're all gonna love, please, please do it because it's necessary.

TREY:

I hear you so hard on that.

TREY:

And my favorite ones are the paper ones where they like fold in and you do have the little tab, like

TREY:

It would catch fire.

CHELSEY:

Right.

CHELSEY:

See, so it's like, we need more versatility,

TREY:

That's one of those tricky things about those, um, like Chinese takeout,

TREY:

it starts popping and you're like, oh, am I should have died?

TREY:

And only

CHELSEY:

speaking metal in the microwave is not a good thing.

TREY:

Never.

CHELSEY:

How about you?

CHELSEY:

Do you have a complaint you want to lodge?

TREY:

I do.

TREY:

I definitely, I have a very timely complaint that I'm lodging

VOICEOVER:

Lodge A Complaint.

TREY:

I don't know if you can see behind me, Chelsey.

TREY:

I you'll see this on the YouTube, I suppose, but I hung this 240 LED light

TREY:

It's like very Instagrammy it's like a college dorm.

TREY:

Attire, you know, they're just like little string lights.

CHELSEY:

Like Christmas lights.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

They're like tinier, micro Christmas lights.

TREY:

Basically.

TREY:

I put them on this accent wall.

TREY:

Cause I thought, oh, this will be so cute.

TREY:

When I'm recording the podcast, there'll be some bright color behind me.

TREY:

But this wall is full of picture frames with like motivational things because I need that.

TREY:

So in order for the length to be correct, I had to string it underneath some of the major...

TREY:

here I can just show you some of the major posters.

CHELSEY:

Oh, that's major.

TREY:

I spent time doing this, I have six of those little, like, what do you call those?

TREY:

Those little like tape or the little, like things where you pull the tape

CHELSEY:

Command strips.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

Command.

TREY:

That's right.

TREY:

So, okay.

TREY:

I have six of those.

TREY:

I did it.

TREY:

I had to reconfigure all the frames and then I put the batteries in the thing doesn't work.

TREY:

240 of these lights.

TREY:

This is from the company Brookstone, which we all love to go into a Brookstone in the mall.

TREY:

Um, but I guess Brookstone, I'm complaining.

TREY:

Don't go into this frontier of light bulbs.

TREY:

I think you need to stick with your massage chairs.

TREY:

You're like amazing flight apparatus for comfort, but leave the, leave

TREY:

And, uh, my, my day has been ruined.

TREY:

So I'm lodging a complaint against Brookstone and companies that

CHELSEY:

I feel I'm my, my apologies.

CHELSEY:

That sounds like really frustrating.

CHELSEY:

And I'm sorry, you had to deal with that.

CHELSEY:

I will say that I think in the future, If ever something like this will happen,

CHELSEY:

before...

TREY:

It was definitely a learning experience,

CHELSEY:

a learning experience,

TREY:

but it's really even more complicated than I'm even explaining because it's, um,

TREY:

The only way to hang out was to like, hang it appropriately and then undo it.

TREY:

And then you have to stretch it.

TREY:

Cause then they like pop out and then they get into the strings that are hanging.

TREY:

It's a whole thing.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

CHELSEY:

I wonder if like, wasn't it, isn't that a thing with Christmas lights where like, if one

TREY:

Yes.

TREY:

And to Brookstone credit, there is like a hanging extra light bulb, but

TREY:

So I have no idea which one and there's 240.

TREY:

So I'm not going to go through individually.

TREY:

It's like not worth it.

TREY:

It was like $12.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

Right.

TREY:

No way.

TREY:

Anyway.

TREY:

So that's my complaint.

CHELSEY:

I mean, complaint heard.

CHELSEY:

And, my apologies.

CHELSEY:

That sounds very, very frustrating.

CHELSEY:

I think we've had enough of us complaining and I think it's time for us to hear some

TREY:

I love the idea

CHELSEY:

So glad that we agree.

CHELSEY:

As you guys know, we are your trusty Review Queens.

CHELSEY:

We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

CHELSEY:

We will read that review.

CHELSEY:

We will break it down and then we will rate the impact of the review

CHELSEY:

It's a very Regal process that we call,

VOICEOVER:

Assess That Kvetch

TREY:

But Chelsey, for all of the listeners who don't know the dying language of

CHELSEY:

First of all, let's keep Yiddish alive.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

It's wonderful language that I love.

TREY:

It only lives through the generation

CHELSEY:

and there's just some things, it just sounds better in Yiddish, like 'Kvetch', which

CHELSEY:

Stop.

CHELSEY:

Kvetching so much."

TREY:

Gesundheit!

CHELSEY:

I didn't sneeze

TREY:

I know my father-in-law always says, "Guzi, guzunt!"

TREY:

Yiddish!

TREY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Who's first, today.

TREY:

You will be first, last week we did the one and the five, and

TREY:

So you will be first today.

CHELSEY:

Oh my goodness.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

So with that, take it away.

TREY:

You Review Queen.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

I have a review today from Ashley B and Ashley B is reviewing on Amazon a, what I

CHELSEY:

This is Ashley BS review.

TREY:

What is this?

TREY:

What is a Squatty potty?

TREY:

I'm curious for your explanation,

CHELSEY:

For those of you listening, don't watch shark tank regularly or indulge in, you

CHELSEY:

Uh, the spotty potty is a, like a step stool that tucks into the toilet.

CHELSEY:

And if you're having problems.

CHELSEY:

Going to the bathroom.

CHELSEY:

As some of us are prone to have, no judgment, you can just let this little step stool out in

CHELSEY:

And your experience will be much easier and less stress.

CHELSEY:

So it really took off on shark tank.

CHELSEY:

It's doing phenomenally well, and I hear that generally speaking people are very

CHELSEY:

And I think this was a bit of a cheaper.

CHELSEY:

Option, but sometimes as they say, you get what you pay for.

CHELSEY:

So let's see what Ashley B has to say about this faux Squatty Potty.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

She said change the product since summer now.

CHELSEY:

It's crap.

CHELSEY:

That's the title.

CHELSEY:

Very witty Ashley be okay.

CHELSEY:

If I had been leaving this review in June of this year, I would have easily given it five stars.

CHELSEY:

In fact, we loved it so much.

CHELSEY:

My husband and I ordered a new one as soon as we could for our downstairs bathroom.

CHELSEY:

Unfortunately, due to finances, we didn't get the second one until today.

CHELSEY:

I was excited and put it together immediately, but I could already tell it was different.

CHELSEY:

The screws don't sit flush on the new one.

CHELSEY:

So putting the caps over them make, make it look silly.

CHELSEY:

They also put a new logo on it.

CHELSEY:

That looks way less sleek and way more infomercial-esque.

CHELSEY:

They're still advertising in the pictures, the pretty sleek version from before.

CHELSEY:

I would not have ordered this version, if I would've known how

CHELSEY:

I added pictures to show the differences between the two.

TREY:

Wow.

TREY:

Ashley B is not happy with this crappy product.

CHELSEY:

Actually, B is really pissed that her Squatty Faux Potty is not flush.

TREY:

Ashley B wants to take this product.

TREY:

Down into the Sewers and the gutters where it belongs.

CHELSEY:

Just flush that product right down the proverbial drain.

CHELSEY:

Ashley B.

TREY:

She's so mad she needs.

TREY:

She's going to have a diaper rash.

TREY:

I don't know.

TREY:

I don't know.

CHELSEY:

Don't get a hemorhoid.

CHELSEY:

I don't know.

CHELSEY:

What else do we....

TREY:

Oy Gavelt!

CHELSEY:

Oy Gavelt, All right.

CHELSEY:

Ashley B.

CHELSEY:

Ashley B has photographic evidence.

CHELSEY:

Let's just say that first and foremost.

CHELSEY:

I know that obviously you guys can't see what I see, but basically what I'm seeing in

CHELSEY:

It's just, it's not in the proper spot.

CHELSEY:

So what we have is a little bit of a raising of a lip.

CHELSEY:

On top, and we just, we don't have a solid place to put our feet.

CHELSEY:

Now.

CHELSEY:

It doesn't really look like something that would impede my experience of this item.

CHELSEY:

If anything, I'd say like a little bit of an eyesore.

CHELSEY:

I'd rather things be flush as well.

CHELSEY:

But I don't know, like it's seems like it would still serve a purpose to me.

TREY:

Do you think that that is Ashley B's fault?

TREY:

With which the construction of them screwing it together, or do you

TREY:

Like, it's not like,

CHELSEY:

um...

TREY:

because Ikea, you know, you make it yourself, but sometimes you, some

CHELSEY:

I think there's a, there's a high possibility that, you know, whoever was making

CHELSEY:

Where, where things aren't lined up correctly.

CHELSEY:

So I don't know that it's.

CHELSEY:

It's necessarily Ash Ashley B's construction that send it off, especially considering

CHELSEY:

Rather like we've done this before.

TREY:

Good Point.

TREY:

The bulk of this review is so reminiscent of your complaint that you lodged a couple of weeks ago

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

That is very maddening.

TREY:

Like if the, um, product gets tweaked, but there's not enough marketing

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

Then I do believe that's false advertising and I would be mad about that, too.

CHELSEY:

Yeah, I think I would be pretty mad.

CHELSEY:

I mean, I think, you know, we all buy a lot of products on Amazon, I guess.

CHELSEY:

And sometimes you find a winner you know, and you want to order another one

CHELSEY:

I'm going to order a second one.

CHELSEY:

I think it would be upsetting if the consistency wasn't there.

CHELSEY:

So.

TREY:

Agreed.

TREY:

When was this review, by the way?

CHELSEY:

I feel for Ashley B, this is recent.

CHELSEY:

A lot of people did invest in Squatty Potties over the pandemic because we

CHELSEY:

So this was written in October 14th, 2020,

TREY:

because see, that was going to be my question.

TREY:

If it's recent, I wonder if there was an issue with manufacturing because of

CHELSEY:

Could be.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

And if, and maybe a lot of people really were ordering this product more than usual.

CHELSEY:

And so they really had to churn them out so to speak.

TREY:

Oh my gosh...

CHELSEY:

Could be good.

CHELSEY:

I mean, we're not going to stop with the bathroom puns, right?

TREY:

You know, I, I do come across reviews like this often, specifically on Amazon where

TREY:

So I really think that this is a very valuable review because Ashley B, this is a returning

TREY:

My like, back and forth of that is sort of like, well, if you don't want to

TREY:

Then, you have to get a product that you have to assemble because the actual Squatty

CHELSEY:

No Assembly Required.

TREY:

I actually think this is really valuable that Ashley has put this information in

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

I also really like agree and that I, I liked that she disclosed us that due to finances, you

CHELSEY:

I feel like that really emphasizes her excitement, which she said she was so

CHELSEY:

It was like, I was saving up for it.

CHELSEY:

I loved the first one.

CHELSEY:

Like I imagine her and her her, her and her husband.

CHELSEY:

Using the same bathroom and then just like waiting for the moment that they're

TREY:

I thought of that too, because she, our Ashley B says that they assembled it as soon

TREY:

Like, I, I feel like Ashley's being very transparent.

TREY:

They're not trying to be bougie.

TREY:

They're not trying.

TREY:

Like lie upwards.

TREY:

They're saying this is my circumstance and this is like what I got and that's incorrect and bad.

TREY:

So therefore, if I had written this in June, it would have been great.

TREY:

This is what's happening now.

TREY:

And you should know, buyer beware.

TREY:

So I appreciate that.

TREY:

And I really receive it as truthful.

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

I also wanted to point out the whole logo thing.

CHELSEY:

Like I'm a big stickler for that.

CHELSEY:

If your logo is going to be on my product, it better be like small and sleek and just blend in

CHELSEY:

I wouldn't want any product in my home that had, as Ashley B points

CHELSEY:

Like I'm not a salesman for you, I'm just trying to use your product.

TREY:

I do think that I thought there would be more humor in the review based

CHELSEY:

Yes.

TREY:

So I did feel a little let down in the humor entertainment area, although

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

I had high hopes for the bathroom puns from the title.

CHELSEY:

I don't think we got as many as of them as I thought we were going to get, but

TREY:

And like, we, you and I did it, but like, it's sort of like stupid and like

CHELSEY:

I agree, but like, I think that in just being truthful to what it

TREY:

No,

CHELSEY:

You know, I wouldn't like necessarily be like, oh guys, let me read

TREY:

I'm really, um, finding myself on Ashley B's side here.

TREY:

Tell me, does it look like Ashley B hit spellcheck, before they submitted?

CHELSEY:

Ashley b definitely hit spellcheck.

CHELSEY:

She's, in my guess, at least college educated.

CHELSEY:

She used quotes properly.

CHELSEY:

punctuation, all great.

CHELSEY:

Commas.

CHELSEY:

Periods.

CHELSEY:

Just...

CHELSEY:

appropriate to...

CHELSEY:

difference between the to, too.

CHELSEY:

So I do think Ashley clicked spellcheck maybe even has Grammarly.

TREY:

Hmm.

TREY:

What do you think the, is there an impact here for you?

TREY:

It's a deal breaker.

TREY:

I think it's kind of a, I think it's kind of a deal breaker for me.

CHELSEY:

I think that's sort of a deal breaker.

CHELSEY:

I wouldn't want a subpar product and I would trust somebody that's ordered it twice to

CHELSEY:

I think at very least I might do a little bit more research.

CHELSEY:

Maybe reach out to the seller and say, I've heard this product is good.

CHELSEY:

I probably wouldn't do that.

CHELSEY:

That's not true.

CHELSEY:

I would just click onto the next one.

CHELSEY:

Let's be honest.

TREY:

That's what I would do too, yeah.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

I think I'm ready to crown this.

CHELSEY:

Me too!

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So in order to be fair and not influenced by one another Chelsey and I each have

TREY:

So we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

THEME SONG:

The Queens are Tabulating

TREY:

alright, You ready to show?

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

I am ready.

TREY:

I have a feeling.

TREY:

I have a feeling how this is gonna go.

CHELSEY:

Okay, well, let's see.

VOICEOVER:

Total score.

TREY:

Four, four.

TREY:

That's what I thought.

TREY:

Unanimous.

CHELSEY:

Unanimous.

CHELSEY:

Four crowns.

CHELSEY:

Trey.

CHELSEY:

Why did you give Ashley B four crowns?

TREY:

Honestly, because humor-wise is a little low, but they started with a joke in the title.

TREY:

So for that, love it.

TREY:

To the point!

TREY:

They were self, humbling rather than self-aggrandizing, which I appreciated.

TREY:

Maybe don't have to click see more.

TREY:

It's just to the point there's images, there's evidence of the product.

TREY:

Previous buyer.

TREY:

Therefore, I think I would probably not purchase this.

TREY:

I would scroll to see like other competitors and I would definitely be looking through other reviews

TREY:

So that's why I gave Ashley before crowns for this fake Squatty Potty.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I'm with you ditto to everything that you just said, and also.

CHELSEY:

I believe that Ashley was a real person that had this experience.

CHELSEY:

that's important to me when I'm reading a review that I feel like there's a real

CHELSEY:

Not some like angry person on the internet or like someone that's a bot

CHELSEY:

This sounded like this was a real person.

CHELSEY:

So Ashley B.

CHELSEY:

Good job.

CHELSEY:

Four crowns.

TREY:

Woo.

TREY:

That was fun.

TREY:

Let's take a quick little break.

TREY:

And then when we come back, we can play with Meryl, before we jump into my review of the week.

CHELSEY:

Woo.

CHELSEY:

Be right back

TREY:

BRBsy,

VOICEOVER:

Hold your crown.

VOICEOVER:

We'll be right back.

TREY:

Hey Review Queens.

TREY:

It's Chelsey and Trey here.

TREY:

We are having a raffle.

TREY:

If you write a review for this podcast.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

It's super exciting.

CHELSEY:

And the best part is you could win a very glamorous Review That

TREY:

It's perfect for a hot date, you know, and you're totally rad pimped out.

TREY:

Denim vest.

CHELSEY:

Pop the bling on.

TREY:

But wait, there's more.

TREY:

We are also throwing into the prize package of very deluxe Review

CHELSEY:

Oh my God.

CHELSEY:

Stop it.

CHELSEY:

It's perfect for writing those first drafts of your five star reviews.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So here's how you enter.

TREY:

If you leave us a five star review on apple podcasts, take a quick screenshot.

TREY:

Email us the proof at hello@reviewthatreview.com

CHELSEY:

And we made it super easy with a super cute link.

CHELSEY:

Lovethepodcast.com/thereviewqueens.

TREY:

There's also a one-click link in the show description below.

TREY:

It's easy-peasy, beautiful, Review Queens.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

CHELSEY:

Happy reviewing.

TREY:

Now back to the show.

TREY:

Now a warning?!

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

We're back from the break.

TREY:

And here we are.

TREY:

It's time to take a quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.

TREY:

Chelsey, strap into that whale.

VOICEOVER:

I don't feel like an icon, most days, I feel like 'I can't!'

VOICEOVER:

That's with an A.

CHELSEY:

I like how in this Meryl-Go-Round there's whales.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

I thought that might be like a possibility.

TREY:

Like you sit on that fan, maybe?

CHELSEY:

I totally got what you were saying surprisingly, or maybe

CHELSEY:

Strap into your alligator, this, this Meryl-Go-Round has all kinds of crazy animals.

TREY:

Wait, I have a really funny dad joke.

CHELSEY:

Tell me.

TREY:

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

CHELSEY:

How?

TREY:

Ask and find out which one we'll see you later and which one will see after a while.

CHELSEY:

Oh, wow.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

CHELSEY:

Maybe I'll use that one on my nephew.

CHELSEY:

I think he'll like it.

CHELSEY:

He's five.

TREY:

Yeah, I think it will be a hit.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Anyway, so here's the deal, Chelsea and I each pick a rotten scathing, pithy one star zinger.

TREY:

And with 30 seconds on the clock, we take turns trying to recite the

CHELSEY:

just like Queen Meryl, who does everything

TREY:

...before the clock runs out.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

This is going to be fun for me.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

So I have a apple podcast review.

CHELSEY:

Great

TREY:

For a podcast called Goodnight, World featuring the beloved Sesame Street

CHELSEY:

I'm like already nervous.

CHELSEY:

Can I be like completely transparent,

CHELSEY:

but

TREY:

Like, what the f?!

CHELSEY:

Also just like in the amount of genres you're going to have to do this and I can't wait.

CHELSEY:

It's going to be great.

TREY:

Oy!

TREY:

All right, so, here we go.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Are you ready?

TREY:

I'm ready.

TREY:

I'm ready.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Hi, want to hear Elmo Mo

CHELSEY:

Tom Angeles.

CHELSEY:

I

VOICEOVER:

want to hear Elmo theater.

VOICEOVER:

Hi.

THEME SONG:

Do you want to hear Elmo

VOICEOVER:

pop star?

VOICEOVER:

I wanna hear

CHELSEY:

Trey!

CHELSEY:

That was so good.

TREY:

How many?

TREY:

How many?!

CHELSEY:

I really think that might be a personal best.

CHELSEY:

Was that seven or sex?

CHELSEY:

Let me count.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

I don't know, but I hate singing and I hate karaoke, but I

CHELSEY:

Trey.

CHELSEY:

That was six!

CHELSEY:

Epic job.

TREY:

Whoa!

CHELSEY:

Wow.

CHELSEY:

Impressed.

TREY:

All right, your turn.

TREY:

What is your zinger today?

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

My zinger for the day is from Google reviews.

CHELSEY:

It is a one star review from NA Yan, Wu of the Wilson and Harding

CHELSEY:

NA says so busy give up exercise.

TREY:

What?

TREY:

Okay...

TREY:

Great!

CHELSEY:

So busy give up exercise

TREY:

Is golfing exercising?

CHELSEY:

I always thought golfing was more social then exercise.

TREY:

I thought it was a sport.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Well, whatever.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

Good job.

CHELSEY:

No, it's just, I guess it's a sport, but like don't you ride around

CHELSEY:

I'm just distracting.

CHELSEY:

Cause I am nervous, but let's not waste any more time.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

How are we go.

TREY:

Strap, strap into that whale honey.

CHELSEY:

Got put into that whale.

TREY:

AlrIght here we go.

TREY:

Okay,

TREY:

theater

TREY:

busy.

TREY:

Give up exercise

TREY:

Shakespeare.

TREY:

So

VOICEOVER:

busy.

THEME SONG:

Give up

VOICEOVER:

pop star.

CHELSEY:

give up.

TREY:

Disney

TREY:

Yankee.

TREY:

Eww, that was cutting it close.

CHELSEY:

That was cutting it close.

TREY:

Let's see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and then the Yankee was six.

TREY:

So.

TREY:

So it's a tie.

TREY:

I almost want to give the one to you cause you have like a clean.

TREY:

let's just take a bow together.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

You're right.

TREY:

It's just a game.

TREY:

It's not that serious.

CHELSEY:

It's not that serious.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

CHELSEY:

But I almost like, I don't know, got a little bit of a stomach stitch stepping

CHELSEY:

I'm all right.

CHELSEY:

In case anyone was concerned.

TREY:

And the alligator was very snappy.

CHELSEY:

Oh, you with the dad jokes today.

CHELSEY:

I love it.

CHELSEY:

It's great.

VOICEOVER:

Review that review.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

We are back from that rousing game break.

CHELSEY:

And it's your turn Trey?

CHELSEY:

Where is your review from this week?

TREY:

Al right, so this is from TripAdvisor.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

So it's a one dot review from Dan R for the Richard Rogers theater.

TREY:

In New York city, it's a Broadway house, which is currently a

CHELSEY:

Um, no.

CHELSEY:

What show is at Richard Rogers.

TREY:

It's just little, little, little small production called Hamliton.

CHELSEY:

Oh, right.

CHELSEY:

I saw it there.

CHELSEY:

I just didn't remember that that was Richard Rogers.

TREY:

Alright, and this is the review...

CHELSEY:

and is it, am I allowed to ask upfront if it's about a specific

TREY:

You're going to find out, real quick.

CHELSEY:

I'm about to find out.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

I'm getting ahead of myself.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Let's hear from Dan R

TREY:

I, but that's a great question, actually.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Smallest theater seats.

TREY:

Beware.

TREY:

After seeing Hamilton, my email to their customer service.

TREY:

I want to express my extreme displeasure regarding my family's visit to your

TREY:

We waited caps months to see Hamilton with great anticipation only to be completely disappointed

TREY:

We sat in the mezzanine parentheses, R mez, end parentheses row, D seats 6, 8, 10, and 12.

TREY:

The seats were so small that my knees were pressed firmly against the wooden barrier in front of me.

TREY:

There was no opportunity to shift in any way.

TREY:

It was physically painful.

TREY:

We considered leaving.

TREY:

My mother-in-law who is 89, had to sit on an angle to fit and her hip is still

TREY:

My wife is five, four, and she could not move her legs either.

TREY:

We feel that this row was added as a retrofit.

TREY:

I can't imagine that every seat has the same dimensions.

TREY:

Had these seats been identified as small, we would have never purchased them.

TREY:

We find it so disconcerting that we left the show, knowing that the performance was

TREY:

Intermission and the end of the show were welcomed relief.

TREY:

I am asking that you consider this email as an opportunity.

TREY:

We'd like to see the show again, and we'd like to have house seats.

TREY:

I think this is fair and hope that you do as well.

TREY:

I look forward to hearing from someone in your organization to resolve this matter, enter, enter.

TREY:

They responded saying, sorry, you were uncomfortable.

TREY:

That's it.

TREY:

Dot, dot, dot.

TREY:

I will never.

TREY:

Go there again.

TREY:

That's for sure.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

CHELSEY:

Dan R, I have to be honest.

CHELSEY:

I feel Dan R's pain.

TREY:

I mean, the seats at Broadway houses are from like the 1910s.

TREY:

So they are very small.

TREY:

That is very common.

TREY:

I just, I have to interrupt to point out.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

TREY:

That Dan R purchased tickets in the rear mezzanine and is requesting house

TREY:

This review was written in 2015.

TREY:

We've been shut down because of the pandemic, but, you can not get house seats and

TREY:

And you bought Reger mezzanine seats.

TREY:

Sorry.

TREY:

I'm sorry.

CHELSEY:

Can I tell you like a little like secret that I'm announcing on the podcast?

CHELSEY:

I saw Hamilton in the house seats.

CHELSEY:

I did.

TREY:

Do you think that that was a better seat than purchasing a seats in rear mezz

CHELSEY:

I think, and I know from personal experience that it was night and day, you

CHELSEY:

So that's how I was sitting there, but I've spent a lot of time in the rear mezzanine.

CHELSEY:

I'm not always fancy and I'm a.

CHELSEY:

You know, larger, full, figured, beautiful woman.

CHELSEY:

And they, you know, they did make them smaller back then.

CHELSEY:

I think it's the food preservatives, but that's a whole nother discussion.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

I agree!

CHELSEY:

they really should renovate the seats.

TREY:

So I picked this review because I'm really of two minds here.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

To the point about the house seats, like how seats are the last tickets to go

TREY:

So that's how those work.

CHELSEY:

Right.

TREY:

And I recognize that it costs more money to not be in the rear mezzanine.

TREY:

So I'm not trying to make a classist point here, but I just have a, I personally.

TREY:

Have a thing that I cannot buy in the rear mezzanine because it's a horrible seat.

TREY:

So, I mean, you just can't see anything.

TREY:

I mean, the amount of times I've seen shows that far back it's like,

TREY:

There are many crafty ways in which to get better seats.

TREY:

Anyway, we're sort of on a tangent here, but yes, I also agree that the seats in Broadway houses

TREY:

Literally those seats were so close.

TREY:

Like you would be, your knees would literally be touching the seats in front of you.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

But it sounds to me like Dan.

TREY:

Has made up a truth for himself that this row was retrofit.

CHELSEY:

I know, that was pretty funny,

TREY:

which like, I feels a little Kareny to me, but I'm actually going to pull

TREY:

And I'm going to confirm that these seats, since they, Dan gave us the actual locations,

CHELSEY:

Oh, good research.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I think that that was kind of funny, but in terms of the rear mezzanine thing, it

CHELSEY:

At some point, even the cast got really upset and they were like, we need to put

CHELSEY:

These tickets for, even through TicketMaster, it was crazy the amount of money you

CHELSEY:

So I don't fault Dan R for sitting in the rear mezzanine.

CHELSEY:

I think it was such a popular and it was and is such a popular show when was this written

TREY:

2015?

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

So like in 2015, this was the hottest ticket in town.

CHELSEY:

And to get any seat, if you had to do, I think my sister did standing room or

CHELSEY:

Like there were things that you were doing to see the show people made a lot of, even if Dan

CHELSEY:

That was just the kind of show that it was.

TREY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I don't really fault him.

CHELSEY:

I mean, yeah.

CHELSEY:

Like it was sort of funny when he was like, you should give me house seats, but I think.

CHELSEY:

The response should have been a little bit more than that on the one hand, on the other

CHELSEY:

I've had to contort my body into all kinds of shapes to see a Broadway show.

CHELSEY:

And it is distracting.

TREY:

Mmm-hmm.

CHELSEY:

It does take away from the performance and what's happening on

CHELSEY:

When you're like my foot's asleep, I got to like re you know, it's definitely

CHELSEY:

And I'll say on the flip side, when I do go to a theater, that's been updated like a Broadway

CHELSEY:

It is like, what a delight.

TREY:

Totally.

CHELSEY:

You know, it is worth the price of admission to have a good

TREY:

I also really love that Dan are sent an email and then just copy pasted

CHELSEY:

I was going to laugh about that.

CHELSEY:

That was the first thing that I wrote down.

CHELSEY:

I was like my email, like I like circled it.

CHELSEY:

And then also I wanted to be reminded, I think you said it already, but who did

TREY:

Customer service.

TREY:

So I actually, I don't know if it went to the Shuberts, I'm wondering who customer service is.

TREY:

It might've been Telecharge,

CHELSEY:

That's what I mean, like, I wonder who customer service is because you would have to

CHELSEY:

And I don't know that this email through customer service would have gotten there.

CHELSEY:

So I do feel like Dan R.

CHELSEY:

Was wanted to make sure that his email had more of an audience than just whoever received this

TREY:

All of it, I mean, except for the first sentence in the last sentence,

TREY:

It's not owned by the Shuberts it's owned by the Nederlander.

CHELSEY:

Hmm, the other royalty of broadway,

TREY:

I feel like JuJamson.

TREY:

Well, there are, who cares?

TREY:

We're in the weeds,

CHELSEY:

There's a handful of them.

CHELSEY:

Anyway.

CHELSEY:

Point is I agree with Dan R, I know that he's being truthful.

CHELSEY:

I understand how upset he is.

CHELSEY:

I would be upset too.

CHELSEY:

If I waited two months to see a show and I was really excited about it and I couldn't enjoy

CHELSEY:

I want to validate that experience.

CHELSEY:

I also want to validate the fact that Dan R wrote this review for the Richard

CHELSEY:

You know, I think, I think he would have enjoyed the show more.

CHELSEY:

I think he wanted to enjoy the show more.

CHELSEY:

I think he's a patron of the arts and he really wanted to enjoy this production of

CHELSEY:

Impeded his ability to, you know, enjoy in this, this wonderful historical theater experience.

CHELSEY:

And I think that this is an experience that it can be expected.

CHELSEY:

I mean, if you're going to go to the theater, expect to be cramped.

TREY:

I was going to say that as well.

TREY:

Like I do think it's actually very valuable.

TREY:

I kind of went in hard about the rear mezzanine, which is sort of a tangent, but I remember I saw.

TREY:

The Romeo and Juliet, the Romeo and Juliet with Orlando Bloom and Condola Rashad.

TREY:

And I was in the last row of the orchestra.

TREY:

And I couldn't see the balcony scene because the mezzanine overhangs row L

TREY:

I couldn't see the balcony scene of Romeo and Juliet because the balcony was so low.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I mean, I I've purchased...

TREY:

...so, the theater has problems...

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I've purchased what they deem partial view seats.

CHELSEY:

I saw Sweeney Todd behind a column.

CHELSEY:

Like anything, anything that happened to the left or the right of the column, I could see.

CHELSEY:

Any, any action that happened, right.

CHELSEY:

Smack there, align with the column I just missed.

CHELSEY:

I just missed that part.

TREY:

I wonder if, um, Broadway will take this opportunity to listen to Dan R since it's been

CHELSEY:

I hope so.

CHELSEY:

I mean, I do feel bad, like in the context of the world right now, and

CHELSEY:

And so many people that depended on the livelihood of Broadway or are not able to work

TREY:

I just don't see it happening because it's all about money and like, you gotta sell

TREY:

But I will say that Dan R has beautiful spelling, definitely crafted this to perfection.

CHELSEY:

I was going to say Dan R was giving me professor vibes.

TREY:

Disconcerting is such a good word.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

Professor Dan R.

TREY:

And we like, we both agree.

TREY:

This is very, a common experience with both have experiences like this.

TREY:

And I don't find this to be humorous as much as I wanted it to be.

CHELSEY:

Exactly.

CHELSEY:

I mean, no, um, disrespect for, to your wonderful performance, which is always solid.

CHELSEY:

And great.

CHELSEY:

Just don't want you to think that the lack of humor had anything to do with you.

CHELSEY:

It didn't.

CHELSEY:

I just think it's not that funny of an issue.

CHELSEY:

Like it's absolutely accurate and it's true.

CHELSEY:

I wasn't laughing.

CHELSEY:

I wasn't entertained, I wouldn't read it around a campfire, like I said, but I think it's truthful.

CHELSEY:

Are we ready to crown this, you think?

TREY:

I think I'm ready.

TREY:

I also just want to say that I love that they took their 89 year old mother-in-law to see Hamilton.

CHELSEY:

Oh, I know that it sounds like it was a whole family affair, which is

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

It is.

TREY:

Especially that show.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So let's

CHELSEY:

Dan R.

CHELSEY:

What a good son.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

Let's crown it.

CHELSEY:

Let's do it.

THEME SONG:

The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY:

I'm a little conflicted, but all right.

TREY:

Are you ready?

CHELSEY:

Okay, I'm ready.

TREY:

Okay.

VOICEOVER:

Total Score!

TREY:

Yeah,

CHELSEY:

We did it again!

CHELSEY:

It's a, it's a four crown kind of show.

TREY:

It's interesting because I feel like similarly, Dan R and Ashley B were just

TREY:

And I just, I do think it's kind of funny too, but Hey, squeaky wheel gets the grease

TREY:

So, If you want to, if Dan are wants to request that he is given house seats, then go for it.

TREY:

You know, manifest it baby.

CHELSEY:

I felt similarly.

CHELSEY:

I think that Dan R was honest, again, felt like a real human to me, really felt for

CHELSEY:

He really was anticipating seeing Hamilton.

CHELSEY:

And I think that he was being truthful in his assessment of the theater

So Dan R:

Four crowns.

So Dan R:

Well-deserved

TREY:

I'm in agreement.

TREY:

All right, Chelsey, should we jump into the most Regal portion of our show?

TREY:

Who are you inducting for...?

VOICEOVER:

My Royal Highness

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Well, I, stayed at the Capri hotel in Ojai.

TREY:

Wait.

TREY:

That sounds so chic.

CHELSEY:

I know it's not the like chicest, but it has the best energy.

CHELSEY:

It's not the fanciest, but I love the Capri and mostly.

CHELSEY:

someone that works there, I believe he's the general manager or his name is Jeff.

CHELSEY:

And he was just lovely.

CHELSEY:

In addition to serving me just like realness and compassion and just like not throwing a

CHELSEY:

I think he should have a Ted Talk, but he doesn't want to because he

CHELSEY:

And I just think that that's beautiful.

CHELSEY:

And Jeff, thank you.

CHELSEY:

And I almost like don't want to tell people in a way how great the Capri

CHELSEY:

But as a Review Queen, I feel compelled to let you know that you should go to the Capri hotel.

CHELSEY:

It's so great.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

And say hi to Jeff for me and everyone that works there is so welcoming when you go there,

CHELSEY:

They're like, Chelsey, thanks for being here.

CHELSEY:

Or like, oh, so good to see you.

CHELSEY:

and so they're great.

CHELSEY:

So Jeff, from the Capri hotel in Ojai, you are my Royall Highness.

TREY:

Wow!

TREY:

Congratulations, Jeff.

TREY:

That's a huge honor.

CHELSEY:

Yes, Trey.

CHELSEY:

How about you?

CHELSEY:

Who's your Royal Highness.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

So I'm trying something new for today.

TREY:

I found in my Royal Highness inductee that I don't actually know, but I found this story online.

TREY:

There is a woman who turned 90 years old and her.

TREY:

granddaughter wanted to throw her a huge birthday celebration because she really missed her

TREY:

And so the granddaughter Stephanie thought, well, why can't I just do

CHELSEY:

Awwww!

TREY:

Chelsey, she literally threw a princess themed party.

TREY:

This 90 year old woman is wearing a t-shirt that says.

TREY:

It took 90 years to look this good, she is in a huge rufflely tulle, pink, puffy Tutu.

TREY:

And she has a little, cock-eyed like 90 crown that's like glittery and

CHELSEY:

Queen!

TREY:

Totally queening vibes.

TREY:

And so that really touched my heart.

TREY:

So I am inducting both Stephanie and her G ma for my Royal Highness.

CHELSEY:

That's so special.

CHELSEY:

I love this part of the show.

TREY:

It doesn't just like make you smile.

TREY:

Like she's 90 and she's wearing a Tutu.

CHELSEY:

Uh, we got to put her, we're going to put her on the Instagram or something

CHELSEY:

Shall we keep the regality flowing and read a Royal Review?

TREY:

Yes!

TREY:

I love this part.

TREY:

Let's do it!

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Well, every, so often we like to feature one of our very own reviews from listeners like you

TREY:

that's right.

TREY:

But a review from one of our listeners is not any ordinary review, honey.

TREY:

It's what we call a "Royal Review!"

VOICEOVER:

"Baby, it's time for some Royal Reviews!"

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Well, this Royal Review is from JLHlistener108, who I have a feeling I know who this is.

CHELSEY:

She gave us Five crowns and sh I mean, I'm giving it away cause I'm saying

CHELSEY:

My review may end up on the show, but it's a worthy risk to take, to

CHELSEY:

These two crack me up and I can't wait to hear many more reviews, reviewed great concept.

CHELSEY:

Great hosts.

TREY:

Awwww!

CHELSEY:

Isn't that so nice.

TREY:

Wow.

TREY:

Thank you, JLHlistener108!

CHELSEY:

That's Jenny Hoof.

CHELSEY:

I gotta be, I gotta be real and call out my girl.

CHELSEY:

Thank you, Jenny, who have my caught my freshman and sophomore year college

CHELSEY:

And yeah.

CHELSEY:

Phenomenal Pilates instructor and "Watch That Rock Pilates."

CHELSEY:

I love you.

CHELSEY:

And thank you so much for your sweets.

CHELSEY:

Sweet review, hoof.

TREY:

I guarantee you

CHELSEY:

Or, JLHlistener108.

TREY:

I guarantee you, if you want to be read on Royal Reviews.

TREY:

Write a sentence that says I'm nervous that this is going to end up on the show because honey, I

CHELSEY:

I know I thought the same exact thing.

CHELSEY:

So funny, speaking of, if you want to be featured on one of our Royal Reviews, then

TREY:

And if you hate the pod, you can hate review us with five stars.

TREY:

That'll really get our little goats.

TREY:

So true.

CHELSEY:

We've made it super easy with a super cute link.

CHELSEY:

Lovethepodcast.com/thereviewqueens.

TREY:

And there's also a one-click link in the show description below it's

CHELSEY:

So easy.

CHELSEY:

I can't wait to experience it myself.

TREY:

We did it.

TREY:

That's only now they're around in the books, Chels.

CHELSEY:

It's crazy.

CHELSEY:

It feels like it's just flying by.

CHELSEY:

I hope it feels the same way for you guys.

CHELSEY:

Thank you guys for joining us today.

CHELSEY:

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend,

TREY:

if you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy.

TREY:

If you want to Lodge your own Complaint, Submit your own Review or share with the world

TREY:

Leave us a voicemail!

TREY:

Our a voicemail box number is 1-850-REVIEW-Zero.

CHELSEY:

You can also follow us on all the socials @TheReviewQueens.

CHELSEY:

And I'm @ChelseyBD

TREY:

and I'm @TreyGerrald with two RS, become a member of the Royal Court by joining our

CHELSEY:

And remember, ignore the haters.

CHELSEY:

You're a queen.

TREY:

Gender non-specific queen.

CHELSEY:

Always.

CHELSEY:

Bye,

TREY:

Bye.

CHELSEY:

Bye.

TREY:

Bye!

CHELSEY:

Bye!

TREY:

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

TREY:

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.

TREY:

Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by

TREY:

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe