Trish: [00:00:00] Good morning Mama's. Today's guest is a first time mom. She's a calm, labor competent birth student. Her name is Leanne, and she is going to share her breathtaking birth story, one that started with a huge surprise in triage. And ended with the empowered unmedicated birth. She dreamed of Leanne, arrived at the hospital expecting, eh, maybe they'll send me home, but instead she was fully dilated.

So in this episode we're gonna talk about how she took control, her mindset shifts during pregnancy, the tools from the. Course that kept her calm and confident, what it's really like to have a fast unmedicated first birth, and her advice to other moms who are having their first baby as they enter into postpartum.

So listen in as Leanne and I chat about her darling Little baby girls birth.[00:01:00]

Good morning everyone. Today's guest is Leanne Aldi, and I am making sure I'm saying that right. She is one of my precious students from Calm Labor Confident Birth Course, and I'm so excited for her to share her birth story 'cause y'all know we love birth stories around here. So say hello, everyone excited to share.

Excited to be here. So what I want you to do is I want you to start off with telling me. And us like what you were feeling before you found us and how you found us. Can we start there?

Leeann: Yeah. I felt lost. It was my first birth. It was my first pregnancy. Everything happened very quickly for us. We were surrounded by friends and family that really struggled to get pregnant.

And it all happened very easy for us, so we were just like, whoa. We like, weren't ready, like we were ready, but like, you know what I mean? Yeah. So it definitely caught us a little off guard and I just felt like, [00:02:00] okay, I only have nine months now to figure out what I want to figure out how I'm gonna do this.

I knew I wanted to go unmedicated. I knew I wanted, as natural of a birth as possible. I wanted a labor at home for as long as possible. So, I think just through social media somehow I came across your page. You popped up, and I was like, this is what I want. And so I joined the course and I went through the com labor course and really felt empowered to speak up for myself and decide like in the.

You know, pre-delivery appointments throughout the pregnancy, talking with my OB about like what I wanted and what I expected, and just really asking all the questions and stuff. So I felt like I got that a lot from the class.

Trish: I love that so much, but let's back up a little. Yes. Sorry. Because you know I do thi I did things fast with Steve.

We met and got married 20 days later. So when you say fast, how fast?

Leeann: So I got my IUD out in February and we were pregnant by May.

Trish: Okay. I, I do remember this. Yeah. I just couldn't remember [00:03:00] how quick. Okay. So that is pretty fast, especially after you watched other people struggling.

Leeann: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean, my best friend, it took them a year.

And then they still had to go through, like the shots and everything. Like her cycle wasn't matching up. But then once she got that matched up, they got pregnant. But it's still, I mean, it was a long time. We had another friend that took a year and a half. I mean, we have friends that are still trying, that started at the same time as us, so.

Wow. Yeah. So let me ask you this,

Trish: have you struggled at all with any kind of feelings of guilt or like when you were pregnant did you feel guilty sharing when it happened So quickly?

Leeann: Oh yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Like again, with my best friend, when I, when we got pregnant, I was terrified to tell her, 'cause she and I had talked so much about like, oh, just be prepared.

It's gonna take a while. Like, just, just accept it. And then when we got pregnant, it was like, I'm pregnant. Like, hello? Sorry. Yeah. Super sperm. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It was just like, wow. So I definitely felt a lot of it. And then I think I, I felt a lot of. [00:04:00] Fear during the pregnancy that something was gonna go wrong.

I was like, okay, getting pregnant was too easy. So obviously I'm gonna miscarry or like, obviously something's gonna go wrong. We got the, the blood test done and I was like, oh my God, there's gonna be something wrong with her. So, I had a lot of fear and anxiety throughout the pregnancy because it was so easy at the beginning.

That something was gonna go wrong later.

Trish: Yeah. Because you had seen all these people struggling and taking time, so you're like, surely to God, something's gotta be hard here. Exactly.

Leeann: Yeah.

Trish: Yeah. And that, I mean, that's so real. So if you guys are listening and you're struggling in that capacity, or even I, I also hear on a flip side, when someone tries really hard to get pregnant, it takes 'em a long time, then they get pregnant and they hate it, and then they feel a lot of guilt.

So I feel like mom guilt comes at us. From all angles.

Leeann: Yeah. It doesn't matter what, like from everyone I've talked to so far and like all of my friends, it doesn't matter what your experience was, you're gonna be guilty about something like Yes. Doesn't matter.

Trish: I know. Yeah. Okay, so the Met Gods be that they are, [00:05:00] showed me to you and you were like, yes, this is for me.

What it, what about me and my courses was like the thing that connected for Leanne.

Leeann: I feel like I liked the conversational piece of it. Like each of the classes felt very much like, okay, here's step one. Here's what you're gonna go through, here's that pre, like first trimester, what your process is gonna be, how to have the conversation with your doctor.

And I just felt like, it wasn't someone just talking at me like you were giving us the information, but it felt like we all had the opportunity to ask questions and it felt, felt good. Like I didn't feel lost. And you just had that, I don't know, you said that vibe that like felt good to me. The mama.

Yeah, exactly. I just, I felt comfortable and I felt like I could trust that what you were giving us was information. I think there's so much out there nowadays about like, here's what you should do, here's what you should not do. And it's also contradictory. And I feel like your courses were very much like, here are your options.

And you were very open about [00:06:00] like, if you want. To do a natural, if you want to do medicated, like you gave all the options. And I felt like that made me feel empowered to speak for what I wanted. And it wasn't like someone was telling me, this is what you have to ask for, this is what you have to do.

Yeah. So I really like that about all your stuff.

Trish: I love that you say that. And I'm just so everybody knows, I'm extremely emotional today. We had Mother's Day yesterday and my youngest daughter moved out recently, so I'm so like weepy right now. But anywho, when you said that, I've been praying and, and like, you know, the times have changed since I created calm labor, confident birth, like it's not 2021 anymore.

People aren't scared of COVID and all of that. And part of what sets my classes. Apart from everyone else. Is that because when I started it, I started it because I was sick of seeing women coerced, and bullied into what something someone else wants for their birth. And I was really, really determined that I would not do that even though I have my [00:07:00] own preferences, they're my preferences.

And so I remember one of the very first interviews I did with a student, we did a live, and she said, you lay it out like a. Smorgasbord and we can pick and choose what we want. And that's what I want. Now, if I think you're making a really detrimental decision, I will come to you like on our happy hours or what have you, and I'll be like, Hey, like I know you wanna do this, but this is what I see.

Now go with it. But that's really important to me that you get to make those decisions. So you teared me up a little bit because sometimes I get in my head, I'm like, I need to change this, and I do this because there's those people who are like, this is the unmedicated birth class. This is the natural birth class, this is the this birth class, and this is the that.

And I'm like, mine, you know, I am. Mine is more geared towards a hospital birth, just in general because I was in a hospital for 16 years. But it's really about you guys being empowered and I want, I don't wanna be a part of anything [00:08:00] that has to do with suppressing women and not allowing them to have choice

Leeann: ever.

Yeah. Well, and I feel like that's the thing too, is I feel like, I know for me, I, again, I wanted that natural birth, but I also wanted to be in a hospital. 'cause you just don't know what's gonna happen and there is that. Chance that there's gonna be so much input and pushing from the doctors and nurses.

So again, you gave us, I remember sitting there with my notebook and you would be like, here's option A, B, C, and I'm like, I like B, and I'd write down. So I like created my birth plan being like, this is what I like, this is what I don't like. Oh, I love, and it just made me feel empowered going into the hospital.

Not that I needed any of it in the end, but it made me feel empowered that I had those choices and I felt confident saying like, this is what I want.

Trish: I love that. And so after taking the classes, so before taking the classes, you said you felt lost after taking the classes you felt

Leeann: I felt in control.

Yeah.

Trish: I love that. Yeah. I love that. I love it when someone says something other than empowered, because everybody says empowered, even though that's what I want. Like, yes, Leanne, [00:09:00] bring me a new word. I love it. In control. So remind me you came to the Hangouts? Mm-hmm. Did you do the labor bat signal?

I.

Leeann: I did do the labor mat signal. Yes.

Trish: And let me tell everybody what that is. So it's a very weird thing that I added on number one back in the day when it was just me and I had all these students. I was giving my phone number out. Oh my gosh. And my husband was like, uh, babe. As I was getting more and more into the thousands of students, he's like, you can't keep doing that, you know?

So I hired my doulas and I started the labor bat signal and the labor bat signal. For those of you guys listening, it's something no one else offers. Well, I won't say that there are people who do virtual doula services, but it's thousands of dollars. So the labor bat signal. At the time of this recording 'cause we are considering upping it 'cause it's just so valuable.

It's $99 for 12 weeks of supports from 36 weeks pregnant. Unless you're high [00:10:00] risk, we'll start you earlier to, to eight weeks postpartum. I think that's right. So. And it's a direct DM with me and a doula, and then me and a postpartum doula. So Leanne had the Libra bat signal, like, how did you feel about that?

I,

Leeann: it kept me like in those last four weeks and in the eight weeks postpartum, the anxiety was real. Like, again, that fear that something was gonna wrong, the pregnancy was too easy. Something was gonna happen. So like when I had those weird 10:00 PM 2:00 AM freakouts, I would just like message the bat signal and be like, okay, in the next couple hours I'm gonna get a response.

And I'm not gonna feel so crazy. Yeah. Like you really, because 2:00 AM y'all,

Trish: I'm in bed with Steve, just so y'all know. Exactly.

Leeann: It was, it was easy. Well, and the funny thing is I'm on the West Coast, so a lot of times those 2:00 AM messages, you guys would respond actually really fast. Yeah. Because we, because we

Trish: get up pretty early.

Yeah, yeah. Well, in both of, of my doulas have babies, so they're up more than I am during the night. [00:11:00] I, I love that you said that because that's exactly what I want. Like we're not in there like giving you. Everything. Mm-hmm. But we're there loving on you guys, supporting you, helping you. And if we don't know the answer, we'll try to, to find it for you.

Connecting you with other experts. I, I just really like, I cannot like even. Everyone I know that knows that I do it thinks that I'm insane to do it.

Leeann: I love it. I think it's so worth it. Even if you increase the price, I would totally do it again. Like it, uh,

Trish: I love to hear that. Yeah. And especially in

Leeann: the, the eight weeks after, like getting those random messages out of the blue being like, Hey, you've got this.

You're killing it. Like even if I hadn't sent a message to prompt it, it just felt so good to be like. Oh my God, I was spiraling. And they must must have just sensed it because I'd get that message like, Hey, you've got this. And I'm like,

okay, I've got this.

Trish: Yeah, I love that too. And Ashley, Ashley really is so good at that.

She was so good at those postpartum. Yeah, she is so freaking precious. Like she's good as gold. [00:12:00] Okay, so. Be obviously we've been on here chatting already for a while and we wanna keep the episode to where, 'cause I know you mamas don't like to stay on too long. So tell everybody about like your labor experience, like going into labor, having the baby tell 'em all the things.

Leeann: It was wild. It wasn't anything that I expected. It was my first, so I didn't know what to expect. The first I'd say. 15 hours of it, 16 hours. I didn't believe that I was in labor. I didn't believe that any of it was what it was supposed to be. So you

Trish: weren't freaking out like, oh my god, dying?

Leeann: No, no.

Um,

Trish: I love this. This is so

common.

Leeann: Yeah.

So my due date was January 29th, and I had my 40 week appointment on the 28th. So I went into my appointment. I had started having some back cramps that morning, so we were like, Ooh, maybe it's starting. Like it feels like they're coming in waves. Like who knows.

So we go to the appointment expecting like my cervix to be maybe like one to two centimeters. I was completely [00:13:00] closed and my doctor was like, well, we'll get an induction scheduled for you next week, which I absolutely didn't want to do. So I was like, all right, I remember that. Yeah, let's not do that, but okay.

We'll see. Yeah. And then throughout that day the pain progressed, but it was all in my back, which was just wild. I was like, this can't be labor. It's not like I'm not feeling anything in my stomach. So we just kind of waited it out overnight. I was waking up every couple of hours with like crazy back pain.

I'd have to like adjust, stretch, still nothing in my abdomen. So I was like, okay, it's not real labor. It's just back pains. It's just my sciatica freaking out. And then all day, the 29th, same thing every couple of hours it would like come really hard for, you know, 10, 20 minutes and then it would go away.

And I'm like, okay. Like, we're definitely getting somewhere, but it's not, I'm still not in labor. It's not real if nothing's in my abdomen. Like I didn't believe it. And then it was like. Four o'clock on the 29th, my mucus plug came out and I was like, okay, so something's obviously happening because [00:14:00] this is, I know this is a trigger, this is a step.

So I, my husband is at work. I told him to go to work because I'm like, I'm not in labor. You can go to work, it'll be fine. So I texted him, I'm like, don't freak out. Like my plug came out. So this is

4:00 AM

4:00 PM or 4:00

Trish: PM

Leeann: Okay. So I'd been going, I was like, wait a minute. Going for, yeah, I'd been going for about 20, so 4:00 PM Yeah, I'd been going for about 27 hours at this point with just like.

Intermittent pain. And then that's where things started picking up. So pain got a lot more intense. I had to sit on the floor, leaning over my ball. That's where the birthing exercises and stuff came in really handy. I was like, okay, breathing, changing my position every 10 minutes. And I was like, okay, I'm good.

I'm breathing through it, I'm good. Finally gave up, went and sat on the toilet, hit my dilation station and got really comfortable. And I had a really strong contraction and my water broke, and that's when I was like, all right, you have to come home now. So I was like, just kidding. We are in labor.

Something's happening here. So he came home. It's like a 30 minute drive that was at like 7:00 [00:15:00] PM He came home, was home by seven 30. We drove 30 minutes to the hospital, so it was like eight 15 when we got to the hospital. Contracting really spill. Now I know we didn't tell

Trish: y'all to go in that quick.

Leeann: No. No. Well, the water broke, so that's why I was like, I'm gonna go to the hospital 'cause I don't wanna risk anything. But it definitely was just like, okay. Like everything feels like it's moving now. Yeah. And I'm glad we did because we gotta the hospital, eight 15, I went up to triage. And they could tell, they were like, all right, something's definitely happening here.

Like I was, couldn't get comfortable. They got me up on the gurney. Oh yeah. You know when you look

Trish: at a mama? Yeah.

Leeann: They got me up on the gurney and they're like, okay, we're gonna just check your cervix. And I'm thinking we, it still didn't hurt that bad. And that was the wild thing throughout the whole delivery was I just still never believed, like I was at the point to give birth.

'cause it didn't feel. Like it was that bad. Which

Trish: is mindset. This is your mindset. Yeah. Because you had convinced yourself that it wasn't labor, that [00:16:00] it was just back stuff. Mm-hmm. Your mind that that is why I teach in the courses, how strong our minds are. Yeah. What we tell ourselves we manifest.

Leeann: Yeah. So definitely remembering that for next time.

Like, I did it once. It wasn't that bad. You can totally do it again. Yeah. Yeah, so she checked my cervix and she said, oh, you don't have a cervix. And I feel the head. So everything kind of blur. Okay. Can we just, can I interrupt

Trish: here? Can I interrupt here? Because I say this all the time on social media posts and podcasts that the majority of my students.

Who take the classes, participate. Mm-hmm. Do the labor bat signal, get to the hospital at seven to eight centimeters. So you got there and here's the thing, you guys Yeah. For those of you guys listening, my students are not freaking out. They're still thinking, I hope I get admitted.

Leeann: Yeah, exactly. I was just like, oh my God, please don't turn me away.

Like we have to be far enough along. I was completely there. Which 20

Trish: like 30 hours prior to that your cervix was closed? [00:17:00] Yes. So this is why I say repeatedly in the course that it doesn't matter prior to labor what your cervix is doing. It will do its own damn thing no matter what. Yeah, it'll happen when it's

Leeann: meant to happen.

And that's what I realized, like as it was going through, I was like, oh, okay. Like my body was meant to do this today. Like it is happening now.

Trish: Okay. She says, you're complete. There's no cervix. Yeah. Did your mind comprehend what she was saying or were you like, oh my stars?

Leeann: Oh, I definitely was just like, what did you just say?

Like, what do you mean? Like what do you mean? I don't have a cervix? Explain

Trish: that in English.

Leeann: Yeah. She's like, we're gonna roll you over to delivery right now. And it was just like calling the doctor, calling the NICU calling. 'cause I was on, I love those moments. Yeah. It was just. Everyone was suddenly in the room and they're trying to hook me up to an iv.

I have tiny veins, so they were like not happening. I was very lucky. They let me kind of labor over the edge of the bed and kind of do the kneeling. Breathing through it. My poor husband was like hiding in [00:18:00] a corner. He's like, I'm just gonna stay out of the way.

Trish: A lot of was happening in

Leeann: your room. A lot was happening.

The nurses, they were getting the delivery

Trish: table ready. The doctors there, the team, all the stuff for the baby.

Leeann: They're trying to do my intake. 'cause we didn't even do the intake and the triage. Really. They're asking me all the questions, right? Yeah. I was like, I don't have time to answer this. One of the nurses was like, is there anything about your birth plan like that we should know?

And I was like, I wanted to go unmedicated. And she was like, well, you don't have a choice at this point. You did it. You did it. Yay. So, yeah. Yeah. And then from there, once the doctor came in, he did another check and he is like, oh, we're ready to push like now, so let's get you flipped over. I ended up being able to labor on my side, which is what I wanted.

And five pushes later. My daughter was here.

Trish: It was absolutely insane. Exactly. The birth queen.

Leeann: Mm-hmm. Thank

Trish: you. You're the birth queen. That is amazing. Yeah.

Leeann: It felt, it felt super, I'm gonna say the word, it felt super empowering to be able to. Have everything [00:19:00] I wanted. But it also, again, back to that, just like everything was so easy.

Like she came out and I'm like, is she breathing? Is everything okay? But she was wide-eyed already. She wanted to latch right away, like it was, it was insane.

Trish: And it's such a beautiful birth for her because the majority of it, you weren't laying flat, you weren't restricted. Mm-hmm. Which for those of you guys listening, it's not just about you and your body because movement is better for you and your body.

But the studies have also proven that the more you're up and you're using gravity and you're upright, the better oxygen the baby gets. Mm-hmm. Which means the experience is better for the baby.

Leeann: Yeah, definitely. I, again, like being able to move around my house and having my birthing ball, sitting on the floor, sitting on the couch, having my heating pad, like being able to eat my, my sister-in-law made me food.

Like it just being home was so nice. But I'm glad I was in the hospital for that last little bit. 'cause that was just a lot.

Trish: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know that your husband wanted to deliver with the

Leeann: baby. No, we were, we reached a [00:20:00] point where we're like. I was so like moaning so loudly in the car. He's like, are you about to give birth in the car?

And I'm like, just drive faster.

Trish: Yeah.

Leeann: Like, just get

Trish: to the

Leeann: hospital.

Trish: I love those noises though. They, they just throw me, I love the noises of birth. Yeah. So tell me about afterwards, and I know you had your li bat signal and you've already said that really helped you a lot. Tell me what surprised you most about postpartum?

Do you feel.

Leeann: I think just I'm such a control freak and the instant lack of control that I had over my life because it was all about when she wanted to eat, when she needed to be changed, when she needed to be rocked. And I just felt like I didn't have any, any way to like create a routine and I'm just so used to having that and just losing that felt like.

I had no control over anything. And

Trish: did that cause some depression or anger,

Leeann: sadness, a little bit of [00:21:00] depression. I just, I felt like I, I was being super OCD about tracking everything, making sure she was eating when she was supposed to be eating and all that stuff, and. If she was, you had

Trish: all the charts, the apps, all of it.

All

Leeann: the apps, everything, yeah. And then if she wasn't eating or if I felt like she wasn't eating long enough, they, the doctor kept saying, oh, is she eating 15 minutes per side? I'm like, she's only eating seven minutes. Like, and I, every time like, like clockwork, it would be like she'd be done at seven or eight minutes and I was freaking out.

She wasn't eating enough. But then we go to her one month appointment and she's already gained three pounds. So I was like, okay, well, she's obviously eating enough.

Trish: Yeah.

Leeann: But I was so obsessed about hitting all of the goals and hitting the numbers that I almost just felt drowned by the amount of, again, the lack of control just of, yeah.

It's her world and she's gonna control what we're doing and I can't make, and you're hers me for 15 minutes. Yeah.

Trish: And you are [00:22:00] all hers. So like what, what's some advice that, I mean, some advice that you would give to other women because I'm that way as well. What's some tips, like easy little tips you would give to someone who's getting ready to give birth that struggles with that same thing?

Leeann: Mm-hmm. I mean, be prepared to let go a little bit. I think it took my mom and my husband being like, Hey, we're here. We'll take over what we can. And just focus on her, make sure she's comfortable, make sure she's happy. Do what you can to make sure she's, she's in a good place, but that's all you can do.

And that's okay. It's gonna happen where she's gonna have crying fits and there's gonna be nights where she just won't settle. But eventually you hold her long enough, you feed her like she's gonna be okay. And just learning to accept that you don't have a hundred percent control. It's hard. That's really hard.

Yeah, it's really hard. I mean, I'm three months in and I'm still struggling with it, but I tell myself every day, yeah, it's [00:23:00] okay.

Trish: You know, we're here for you. You can come to the postpartum hangouts and hang out with us and like just let us support you as well, because postpartum is lonely. It's very isolating and lonely, and it's such a huge life change and not many women have support through it.

Which is why we created the membership.

Leeann: Yeah, it's great. I, I know every time it pops up, I'm like, in the middle of something else. I'm like, dang it.

Trish: You need, you need one of these days to definitely come. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, for sure. Well, any, anything else, any tips? What would you say to someone who's considering the birth classes or the membership or the labor bot signal?

What advice would you give them?

Leeann: I mean, I'd say just look into it. Do the research. I, I went through and I read all of your information, and for me, even if you only get. A little bit out of it, or you wait until, like for me, I was on my maternity leave, I reached 36 weeks before I was able to actually go through and watch all of the [00:24:00] birthing videos.

Mm-hmm. And there's some stuff that I probably could have used earlier on, but yeah, it still benefited me. It still helped me. I got all of those breathing techniques. I got that information about moving around. So. In the actual birth. It helped me a lot,

Trish: obviously.

Leeann: Yeah, exactly. So, it's worth it.

Trish: And we, and we can hear that little baby in the background.

I know she's upstairs.

Leeann: Yeah, I'd say it's.

Trish: Awesome. And for those of you guys listening, we also have a new option, which you may not know this Liam, but we've got the full birth courses, which are the whole kit and Goodle like, comes with the support, comes with community, comes with all the bonuses. Now we also have an option called Calm Labor, confident Birth.

Pod, and it's the course, but it's in an audio only version. Like a podcast for people who just don't wanna watch videos, they don't wanna come to Hangouts. I mean, I know the Hangouts are really important and they can always add that on, but it's for someone who just wants the on the Go series. So that's an [00:25:00] option as well.

Okay. Well thank you so much for coming today, Trish. I'm so

Leeann: glad I was able to do this.

Trish: For those of you guys who are here, I want you guys. To know that you can have a beautiful, peaceful birth, that's not scary, that's not overwhelming, and you can be in control and have the birth you want. So check out the birth classes. We have links in the bio, and we will see you again next Friday. Bye for now.