Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Living for yourself is basically just speaking the

language that you were born to speak.

That's all it means.

What are your strengths?

What are your talents?

What are your interests?

What are your passions?

Now lean into those as much as possible, despite any pressures that you have from

other people, despite anything that you think you need to do, because when you are

speaking the language that you were born to speak, you are communicating in the

world in a way that it can understand you.

Hello everyone.

Welcome back to seek, go create This is Tim winders, your host.

Got a question for you.

How often do we pause and consider if we're genuinely leading our own lives?

Much less our career.

Today's guest challenges you to be the leader of your destiny.

Not somebody else's your destiny in every facet of your life, work,

personal development, and even how you define your own success, which

is what we do here at Seek Go Create.

We talk about redefining success.

I'm incredibly excited to welcome Dr.

Benjamin Ritter, the founder of Live For Yourself Consulting.

Ben has over 11 years of rich experience, massive experience.

In fact, guiding people who are part of big names like Amazon, Google, and Yelp.

His focus, he helps you find alignment in your values and career so that

you're not just clocking in hours, but living a life that truly resonates

with who you are, I'm excited, Dr.

Benjamin Ritter, welcome to Seek Go Create.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: I'm happy to be here, Tim.

Thank you so much for having me.

Let's get started.

We bump into each other.

We meet.

I ask you what you do.

I'm not giving your flowery bio or anything like that.

I ask you what you do.

What's your answer if I ask you that question?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: hopefully this episode is posted.

I asked him to put in some earbuds and listen to that

amazing, intro that you just did.

So that's normally what I do.

I say, hold on a second.

You got 30 seconds.

Listen to this.

Cause you can explain a lot better than I can.

Okay.

I'll answer the

Yeah, no, come on answer.

no.

we're on a plane.

Let's pretend then on a plane

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: yeah, I got it.

Joe says, Hey, oh, you're a doctor.

I've got this situation with arm.

Can you take a look at it?

What do you do?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: usually you start a dialogue So I asked them a question,

when was how'd you get your last job?

And they'll respond and we'll start a conversation basically to

the point where we realize that they've been really reactive in

their career instead of proactive.

They haven't really taken accountability, haven't really felt the power to create

a career that they truly can say that they love and that they've chosen.

And so that's really how I share what I do with people when I meet them.

Just telling them that you're a leadership and career coach or

provide leadership coaching that puts your career first doesn't really

resonate with a lot of people as much.

Now if you want me to hit the main points, I'll say in short,

we work with individuals.

So that means we help you define your leadership story and approach.

We then help you get clear on the work that you were meant to do,

not think you're supposed to do.

That's basically career clarity.

And then we help you take that information and grow it into a meaningful career,

either in an organization and a job maybe that you're at now, because a lot of times

people look out instead of in when you really, you can craft your job to be best

fit for you before running and trying to create a new position, or out on your own.

A lot of the clients that I work with are executives.

They have incredible skills.

They have superpowers that a lot of people don't have.

And they want to make some extra money.

They don't just want to be held, held in shackles by their paycheck.

And so basically also developing multiple income streams is something

that all leaders, I think that can do if they want to, if they want to

be more proactive in their career.

So when you interact with people, and it probably

depends on the setting, I'm sure.

But when you interact with people and you say something to the effect

of that, especially use words like proactive versus reactive in general,

what type of responses do you get?

Okay.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Sometimes defensiveness, but most time openness.

And usually I think the majority of the time, a question like, what do you mean?

And so then I get the lovely and lovely pathway forward to say,

how'd you get your last job?

Did you apply for it on a job board?

Or how do you get your last job?

Did someone reach out to you and ask if maybe this was a good fit for you that

you wanted, did maybe a friend or did an old boss ask you to come on board?

Is this really, do you feel like this is like the job that you

personally created for yourself?

And there's openness because honestly, we live in a world where our careers

are not things that we are taught.

To craft and create, we wait for our promotion or we ask for it

and we don't get it, we leave.

We apply to only jobs that we see in the job board, not really reaching out to

specific companies that really think that would be perfect, a perfect fit for us.

Or we put our careers and the future of our careers in the hands of recruiters who

have very different goals than we have.

And throughout that whole process, we forget to build skills of really

intentional and aligned networking with organizations and with people

that we want to surround ourselves with because they align with our

values and what we truly care about.

And I'm not saying that you're going to get a job where you never feel

like it's work because even in my own career that I've created for

myself, there are arduous days.

There are days where I need to go recharge and refill away from work.

But when I do work, it's really easy for me to see the connection

to who I am as an individual and what I want to create in the world.

So one of the things that fascinates me about what I get to do

here by asking questions is I get to talk to a lot of people that discuss

things like clarity, be proactive, take control and things like that.

And so the question, and I don't think this is cynical.

If it is, you can say that is, I know in my career that there's been a lot of

ups and downs and ins and outs, and I'm.

I'm one that's wired to coach and, personal development and things like

that are always at the forefront.

But the question that I have related to that is Benjamin, how,

what has your career been like?

Because my guess is that if we go back to the playground in elementary school, you

may or may not, I'll let you answer it.

You may or may not have had this in mind for what you wanted to do.

So this is a good opportunity.

Let's go a little, let's go over a little bit of your journey and maybe

what you've done to define what success is for you over the years.

Let's hit some of the high points.

Like where'd you grow up?

And what did that look like with your family and parents and all that?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: I really appreciate the question.

And there are some coaches that some business owners

are out there that are just.

they do what they do because they saw it as a business opportunity,

a way to make some money.

And they're like, great, I can make some money, go back, I can enjoy it enough

and go back to my family or my friends, whatever I want to do personally.

Then there's some coaches that coach people that were themselves and

that struggled with problems that they had when they were younger.

And hopefully they go and they become experts in it instead of just say, this

is my personal experience, but they go study, they go learn, they grow, they

solve their own problems, and they go, I want to make this change in the world.

And I am in that second bucket.

And I see you nodding, so there's a bunch of different parts of my story

that resonate with where I am today.

There's not just one moment.

And I think that's what makes it so strong.

So first off, I think like understanding what work is something that we learn

throughout our lives and as we grow and through the people that work around us and

what are the jobs that our friends get.

And when I was younger, I was taught that work was important.

I wanted to work because I wanted my own money.

I did not come from a lot of that at all.

And so when I what I would earn, I would save but also get to

improve my life a little bit.

And so I started working at a young age.

I started working flipping burgers and cleaning tables.

And I still remember when they first let me use the meat cutter, which was not

because I worked at this little fast food, little like local fast food restaurant.

And I ended up cutting my hand and having to go to the hospital.

It was, it was, I got extra responsibility and did not use it very properly, but

it's just the types of jobs that I had.

I started a local dog walking business.

I was a camp counselor, a variety of things.

But I learned that work was something you did.

It wasn't something you argued about or complained about.

It was a benefit.

Something that was a way for you to earn money and make connections and try to get

out of the house and enjoy life a bit.

It was part of who you were.

I also learned though that it was not behind a desk.

I had a dad who was an entrepreneur.

He was a real estate agent.

Came here from overseas.

And he made money by driving through alleys, picking up toasters and

fixing them and selling them to whoever would buy them, same thing

for cars, refrigerators, and then eventually that turned into homes.

So I'd go with him and help repair some drywall or fix the toilet,

or there's a sewage clog, fix the sewage clog, whatever it would be.

I'd be there with him.

On the other hand, I had a mom who was with a company.

She was in education.

She was there for 25, 30 years or a long time.

So she had the stable.

Going to work, going to an office type of role, but she was engaging with people,

having conversations, guiding students.

And so there was this blend of there, you don't have to be behind a desk.

You can be autonomous.

you work hard to the point where you forget to eat sometimes.

and you help people.

So you fix things for them, or you help them grow and develop as individuals.

So that was what I was dealing with as a kid when it came to what is work.

And I think that really.

It empowered me to have this spark of being an entrepreneur

and wanting to help people.

But I never really thought that was going to be something that I'd have to deal

with, because as a kid, I decided that I wanted to be a professional athlete.

And so I know I gave you all this muck about what work was to

me, but then I became passionate about just playing a sport.

For some reason, I learned that there was this advice, Find your

purpose and find your passion.

You're supposed to pick it, and then you were supposed to dive into it, and

that was all you were supposed to do.

No one gave me an instruction manual.

They'd be like, When you hear the words, find your purpose, this is what it means.

This is the steps you're supposed to follow.

Tim, did you ever get one of those?

I did.

But I want to pause one second.

What was your sport?

What was the sport that you play?

you had to be good at it.

You had to be good at it.

At least.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Yeah, it was soccer.

So I ended up, I was, My dad used to say, Do you want to be the tail

of the lion or the head of the fox?

That's where I was.

I was not the best, but I was the best kind of on the second team.

I was good enough to be on the first team, but best in the second team.

So it's this weird balance of where I would invest my time, where I would

train and eventually that led me to go into college and I played soccer

in college and I was again, the head of the fox, tail of the lion there.

And I wanted to improve my situation.

And so I tried changing schools, getting on another team, et cetera.

Eventually though, I had to deal with the fact that I wasn't going

to be a professional athlete.

I did a lot of things to try to be it.

I got hip surgery to fix an injury.

I went to London for six months, played on a bunch of second division club teams,

whatever, what, whatever it is, I did it.

All I did was watch soccer on TV.

it's what led me to actually be passionate about nutrition and

fitness because I thought, if I can only get so good at this sport.

I could get healthier and I can get faster and I can get

stronger than everybody else.

Actually led to my, that actually led to my interests in

nutrition and public health and led to a lot of my first career.

But during that time, when I lost soccer, I lost my identity.

And I think this is really important.

Whenever you pick something for the first time, like your first love or your first

job or whatever it is that you dedicate part of yourself to and you lose it,

you need to grow something new because that part of you is gone, there's a hole

in And I dedicated everything I had.

To that sport.

And so when I lost it, I lost everything that I knew, how I

defined every part of who I was.

And that led me to say, okay, am I going to stay here or am I going

to fill this hole and my mentality around work, my mentality around

getting good at soccer, everything that I was to that point, at least the

dedication that I had to developing as an individual, investing in myself.

Then became like that focus became me that instead of a thing or instead of

work instead of a sport or a person it became me and that led me to dive

into the realm of personal development, confidence, all those lovely topics

that I now work with my clients on from a personal perspective that also

intertwines with our professional career.

And so that's where actually I started learning a lot of the philosophies

and theories that I know now.

and I didn't think I was going to go into this space, by the way, four or

five years past, I'm a happy individual.

I'm trying to figure out what I want to do for my life, but it wasn't coaching.

And I'll pause for a second because we're still getting into my story when

it's probably maybe a little bit longer than you thought it was going to be.

No, it's not.

There's a couple of things and I'm I enjoy these stories.

This is really I love getting into technique and what people need to do.

And we'll do that shortly.

We'll give people towards, as we move forward here, some things,

some tangible things that they can grab hold of, but see, I love story

because that's where we learn.

I think what drives people, what motivates people, we learn about

that word you brought up identity.

What's fascinating to me is how.

You didn't connect.

Both my parents were educators.

This kind of, I'll connect some dots here.

Both my parents were educators and not really entrepreneurial necessarily,

but I was always doing business stuff.

I was always cutting grass and going out and trying to figure out how

to make money and things like that.

But as I got into the business world, I gravitated back towards teaching

people how to do Certain things, teaching, coaching, teaching, coaching

with your mother as an educator.

I'm surprised that you didn't start latching.

I mean, were you one that wanted to tell other people about obviously nutrition

and all or soccer or anything else?

Did you ever find that you were trying to encourage, uplift,

teach other people along the way?

Did you have clues that maybe you are a coach?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: It's funny you say that because.

I mentioned that I had to transfer schools to try to get on a better team.

And at the same time though, they canceled my major in college.

They canceled my major in nutrition.

And so I used that as a reason to say, Coach, I'm not leaving you and the team.

I'm trying to get to this other program because they canceled my major.

That's how I parted ways with that program.

Now I went to that other school and the coach there, I didn't

perform as well as I should have.

It was, had this hip issue.

And the promises that were made, the scholarships that were going

to be provided into taken away.

And it was a pretty serious, significant issue because I moved across the

United States to be part of this team, this program, and also my potential

future career in nutrition and soccer.

And so I ended up leaving and coming back to that team back in Chicago and going to

the coach and say, we actually got a new coach at the time it was his transfer.

And I went to him and said, Hey, I'm back.

I'd love to be back on the team.

And he's look.

you left us, I can't let you back on, you left us, but what I will do

because people look up to you and they respect you and you work harder than

everybody else, you can practice with us because I want you to motivate, engage

and coach the people that are here.

And of course, I said, no, I could not deal with that.

I still had my interests and my passions for what I was trying

to pursue in the sport itself.

But that I think was a big sign of.

Okay, Ben, you might have a future here because you're, you know how

to inspire people, you know how to guide people and you're a role

model for them per se as well.

And then there were other moments too, just in my own development where

I leaned into teaching and education and growth outside of everything else.

So on the flip side, this is weird for me.

I wanted to be a teacher and a coach coming along, but then I found out how

much money my parents made as teachers.

And that was something that inspired me to go out and start doing business stuff.

And then, but everything I did in business, I kept gravitating more

back towards teaching, educating, coaching, teaching, educating, coaching.

I do want to ask, because I do think that part of life is identifying.

What we want to do and what we don't want to do.

That's part of that clarity you talked about earlier.

And I think sometimes life does it for us.

You mentioned going back to a situation where you had probably left it.

And I don't know how brash or confident or arrogant you may have been as

an athlete or anything like that.

But how humbling was it to go back to a situation that you had left?

Because often we don't like to go.

Backer backwards.

What was that like for you?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: I'm asked often if I could go back and tell my younger

self one thing, what would it be?

And every single time, no holds bar, believe in yourself, no other one,

no other opinion, no one's opinion of you matters other than your own.

If I just had confidence as a kid, especially in athletics, like when I

went out there and played without anyone around me, just me, and didn't get down

to myself, didn't have this negative loop of you're not good enough, you suck, etc.

I was a star.

Like I was untouchable.

There was even one game where I was put in and it was in my college career.

And I, for some reason, was in that state.

And the next day, the coach started me again.

And he's I saw you, you're a different player.

And there was just something in my mind that was holding me back.

I ended up finding this book called mind gym.

And I read it like it was my Bible.

I read it over and over and over again, because I couldn't get out of my own head.

I even went to a coach once after practice.

This is when I started learning that confidence can hold you back because

I wish they would teach us this thing.

And after practice, he was asking everyone what was wrong, why is

everyone lagging behind, what's wrong.

And I said to him, I said in front of everyone, first time, this is

when I started learning about this.

I said, coach, I don't know what's up, but I can't get out of my own head.

My head's getting in the way.

And he looks at me, he goes, I'm not your effing therapist.

And some people can hear that and say the coach didn't do

what he was supposed to do.

And I said, the coach taught me that I had to handle my own stuff.

And.

And so going back, I didn't believe in myself either way.

And that was actually one of my biggest problems.

but that was part of the journey though.

I think you were moving forward.

See, I've got these odd theories and this is going to help us as we move forward and

talk about people's careers and leaders.

I've got a few theories, and they're conflicting at times.

Benjamin, I have this thought that we can control and be

proactive in almost everything.

I really do.

I think that we can be focused and clear and come up with things.

But yet, I also think that part of life is experiencing things and learning

what we do or don't want to do.

so I think there's this.

Balance there.

And I don't know what the right balance is.

I think we just have to go on our own journey, but what are your thoughts

on that, especially leading into how we're going to talk about be proactive

in your career, so I'm setting you up a little bit, but how much of it

is just getting to a place where, I know for a fact, I will never.

I joke about the Scarlet O'Hara.

As God is my witness, I will never, be hungry again.

I'm never going to work corporate again.

I am not corporate.

I worked corporate for nine years.

I could guarantee you I will not work corporate again because of the experiences

I had and all that I went through.

So what's the balance there of just going through stuff and learning

versus coming up with a plan and being 100 percent proactive?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: So I still think that I was in this state of commitment

that shouldn't have been commitment.

I was still dedicated to something that wasn't something I really knew and really.

know what I wanted.

So I can say that whole dedication to that specific goal was potentially misled.

And that's something that I learned over time.

I, I personally believe that saying I never will do something can be

extremely limiting because I just had a good friend out here, 64 years

old, go back to corporate after working for himself since he was 50.

And one of his consulting clients made him an offer that he couldn't refuse It was

a path that he wanted to try and explore.

I think we do learn a lot of things about ourselves that are solid.

And they stay solid until some major maybe event decides to add some cracks.

Or open a door that you didn't know existed.

Now we have our values and we have the things that we say that

we stand for and we care about.

And that's, if we can show up in, in respect of our values.

Then how we show up is more so what we find enjoyable at that point in time.

And so for example right now I'm showing up in my values of health

and helping people alter their mindsets and be more empowered with

their careers Through this podcast.

Now tomorrow I may wake up and say I really don't like podcasts.

Ben, how are you going to share your voice and your message?

Okay.

Maybe I'll go do events.

Maybe I'll go write a newsletter.

Maybe I'll hand out notes on a street corner.

Maybe I'll feel fulfilled by working just with my clients

one on one, whatever that is.

And so the goals can always change.

But in that specific situation, my dedication and commitment to the sport.

I think was something that I needed to step back from and realize this really

what you want to do instead of that one day when you were in class and teacher

was going around the room and asking everyone what they wanted to do when they

grew up, what the career they wanted, and you raised your hand and decided

to share with the entire class that you were going to be a professional athlete,

you were using that moment in time to declare what you were going to do for

the rest of your professional life.

I think I needed to go back and second guess that.

Yeah, and thanks Touche for calling me out on the saying I'll never,

go work corporate because I, I've, be careful saying always and never, but

let's fast forward a little bit less.

So we get beyond the athletic, right?

situation and your college and you move into nutrition, but that's not where

you ended up landing that probably had some things to do as I read through

your story had some things to do with how you arrived at where you are now.

go through a little bit more of the story so we can start unpacking

what you're doing for people now.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: And by the way, I need to comment.

I think it's important when we say always and never, we can be, we can honor that.

We can respect that.

We can commit to that.

But what's really good about those statements is they lend themselves

to exploration and curiosity.

what was, what were my experiences that led me to this belief?

And.

I'm okay with that.

I accept that.

That's part of your story.

So if you have a never or always in your life, that's great.

Cause it's going to, it's going to be something that you probably want to

share on a podcast one day, or at least with your kids or with your family or

with your friends or at a dinner party, it's something that defines who you are.

And those are really important moments.

Yeah, and we'll get to values in just a moment.

I'm going to ask about those because I think they do play

into our values, but, keep going.

So you go through the college experience and sounds like you're

heading into a nutrition type field,

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Yeah, I'll try to squash this one a little bit shorter.

So basically they canceled my nutrition major.

So I had to figure out what I was going to do in my professional life.

I ended up choosing a business degree and thinking maybe I'd go to med school

cause I did care about health and people.

And through my learning of personal development, I became very

passionate about helping others.

And I realized that changing people's beliefs would be very hard and that

why not just change the laws that force them or that dictate those beliefs.

And so I moved away from any sort of psychology or medical profession.

I also thought the ROI on that was too low and started looking for

opportunities in health that also integrated with business to make a living.

Ended up falling into a marketing associate position for a

chiropractic office and really disliked their business practices.

My job was to go hold corporate events to do some health screenings

and basically convince people to book appointments in our office.

Basically, it was like a business development slash health position.

And it was, even though it wasn't in a cubicle, I was actually

at events, it was terrible.

I wish they taught you when you're in business school, what a market

injury could lead to in terms of a profession afterwards, or at least

coach you to get a job that's more than selling knives door to door.

And so that led, I led me actually to start looking for other opportunities.

And I went and did some.

Networking and ended up being able to convince a department at a university

to hire me as a graduate assistant, and that would pay for my grad school.

So I ended up actually going back and getting my MBA and entrepreneurial

management and my MPH and health policy administration and 2 big

things happened right before then 1.

I actually was creating a company.

So that entrepreneurial spirit sparked in me that said, I hate all these

opportunities that I see for profession.

Why not just start something myself?

And I was building a.

A food brand that integrated health that made health easier.

It was called simplify health with the parent company.

And there was a food product that I basically got to the point of

launch and decided instead to go to school, which is a decision that I'm

happy with, but a decision I would probably guide people to do otherwise,

because the cost was really low.

So my choice for health policy was because I realized that I really

did want to influence health and the easiest way to do that.

Was to change our policy towards health.

And there were so many other indicators that like reasons why I chose that

my mom got cancer and I realized the corruption in the pharmaceutical industry.

My, there was some issues in food policy that I noticed around sugar

consumption and our FDA and our, and the food pyramid and such.

And so I'd be this, all this interest in personal development, nutrition,

physical fitness, and health led me to really see this path.

in front of me that was related to helping others improve their own

health is really attractive and something I was passionate about.

You could see this value of health become pretty solidified

through these experiences.

so fast forward and I actually ended up randomly meeting someone who asked

me to come in full time as a coach.

And I this is like a big divot in the story, but it was the first time ever

that coaching became a profession for me because someone noticed that I knew how

to handle myself in social situations and the level of confidence that I would

bring and the way that I would teach people about how to do it themselves.

So I worked for this individual for a year, on the side and didn't

also like his business practices and ended up branching off.

But then realizing though that I still wanted to help the world, I

realized that there were some issues in people overall, specifically men.

And I wanted to get that information out there in a way that was helpful to them.

So I wrote a book and then realized though that no one would buy

my book because I was a nobody.

I had no brand.

And so I said, how do I sell more copies of my book?

And I said, I better start a company and become an own individual.

And so that for five years, I built a coaching business with a business

partner and really learned how to build service based businesses because of

that, that, that experience, literally just trying to sell copies of my book.

right?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: I'm at a, yeah.

I'll pause.

there's a contrast here that I want to drill down on because,

it sounds like there was a transition at one point from you wanting to

impact and change the world at a high level, we'll call it governmental

policy, corporate structure level.

To all of a sudden now you're shifting to the individual and I want to tell

you, I don't want to go down this rabbit hole, but I can almost guarantee you

that thought processes you have about the health industry and things like that.

I could, I don't want to go down that path, but I am pretty

confident we're on the same page.

My wife and I were just having a conversation this morning.

about some articles that have come out about the use of oils and some

different things and the way they're in input into our foods and all

that and I'm no expert in that.

I just know that I'm mindful of all the things going on.

I'm fortunate that my wife studies a lot of that more than I do.

And so she says, eat this and don't eat this, but tell me a little

bit more about the transition from changing things at the policy level.

Which I'm, I could be a little cynical about what's going on in our governmental

levels, our three letter agencies, and the big corporations, and I'm a free

enterprise guy, by the way, I want to state that clearly, but yet in the

pharmaceutical industry and things like that, it's just very difficult

for me to see how some of that can change, to all of a sudden, you are

working with individuals, changing them one, At a time, maybe a book

changes more than that, but tell me a little bit about that, Ben, because

that's a bit of a contrast there to me.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: So I skipped over some moments that I think are really

important, and these are also what led me to this concept of never having work

be more than who you are, never creating anything that is more than who you are.

And then also just really taking more control of your career path.

And because so many of the things that I thought I wanted to do

ended up getting pretty crushed.

And out of graduate school, I actually was working for the

Illinois Department of Public Health.

I was in policy.

And I worked for them for about half a year.

They lost federal funding in about 2010, so a lot of the

jobs that were there got cut.

And then I also got four other job offers in health policy that also got cut.

So I would get a contract, sign on that line, CDC, also the FQHC.

So these are like medical centers.

And so for two and a half years, I explored health policy, and was

pretty disappointed with it overall.

And.

That was a very difficult time.

I almost lost my purpose and my values, or my values, not my purpose, towards what

I was trying to work towards because of what I could not achieve in my career.

I also did not know what I know now.

And at the same time, it also was an incredible time in my life because

I took every job I could find.

I was the king of gig positions.

I was laying on tables getting ultrasounded.

I was handing out granola bars on street corners.

I, it led me to my career in hospitality.

So I worked 10 years part time slash full time because I was still working

in, as a bartender, but I did everything.

I was security.

I was a bar back.

You could imagine, but it taught me a lot about people.

And also helped me grow as an individual because it puts you in

so many different social situations.

My parents actually met at waiting tables, which is funny

that I ended up in that space.

and then I networked from across the bar, actually.

And by the way, the 10 years of hospitality was because I also still

worked part time while I worked full time.

So it was only like that two and a half year window.

But then I was working across the bar and networked with an ICU manager.

It's an intensive care unit in acute care hospital.

And I ended up getting the person I was seeing at the time a job there.

She was an RN.

And then interviewing for a group systems analyst position.

So it was working in performance improvement, basically understanding

data, understanding care practices, becoming an expert in what the best

type of care is, and then implementing that within the hospital itself.

I ended up actually not getting hired because the VP at the

time, find out, found out I was in hospitality and bartending,

didn't want to hire a bartender.

So a year passes, that person ends up going to another position

to train, to become the CEO.

And then they bring me back under the radar and hire me in.

And that's actually how I get into healthcare.

So that I had a lot of crushing moments in that time, but it ended up

still leading me into the healthcare system, which I did really enjoy

for the first couple of years.

It taught me, it just really helped my, it fed my values of.

Of care and benevolence and health and that I got to train people

actually on best care practices taught me to facilitate and

present all those lovely things.

But then I got promoted into the executive team, which ended up tearing away a

lot of the things that I cared about.

I was mostly focusing on financial reports and business development

and corporate report outs.

And at the same time I had leadership.

That was terrible.

Like sitting there and looking at every sentence and changing a word, staying

there until eight or nine o'clock at night, where I'd say, Hey, everyone, I

have to leave, and I would just leave.

And it taught me how to create boundaries and how, what signs of a negative work

environment were and negative leadership.

And then guess what?

I get selected for 16 months of leadership training, get paired up with

my own executive coach, director of people, he wasn't called an executive

coach, and I learned that, Oh, wow.

This is the overlap of every single thing.

That I've cared about in my career and it's right in front of me and

how do I make this happen for myself?

and the cool thing that about that is that there was this

meandering journey along the way that puts you in that place so that now you

could start really getting a vision or a glimpse of that thing that is

probably going to define what you do.

And I think a lot of people's Journeys are that way.

So was it shortly after that, that you started the live for yourself or

bridge that gap real quickly, because I want to migrate and move into, what

people can do that are going through these journeys on their own also,

and how we can, give them some value so that it'll help them some tools.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: So right when I got promoted into this position and

I got selected for this leadership program, I was on my way out.

I kept looking for different opportunities.

I was really angry at my job.

I was the victim of my employer.

I blamed my situation for where I was and it.

It was not a very good time.

Again, it was another point in my career where I did not feel like I had control

that I felt like I was not making choices.

And then this just light bulb went off when I realized that this position

existed and that I could change where I was and what I was doing and that

I was playing a victim and everything I learned about how to develop as a

human being as in my personal life, that I was a personal coach at the time

I could do for my professional life.

And the fact that I wasn't.

And the fact that they weren't teaching this was a bigger issue to me than

the personal coaching side of things.

And so the first thing I did was when I realized what I wanted to do and

realized it existed within my corporate site of 13 different hospitals,

I went to the VP and I said, Hey, you said I wasn't very disengaged.

I know how to become engaged.

I want to get involved in these projects.

And I started crafting my position to be in alignment with talent development

and organizational development work.

Sadly, this is another fun little moment.

We got acquired for the second time and they fired everyone I was working with.

And everything I was working on got, got paused and stopped.

stopped actually in this position, by the way, I went through two

different CEOs, four different direct managers, two different acquisitions.

it was a very ambiguous time.

It's a theme throughout my entire career, even after that.

And so I said, I want to do this.

How do I do it?

And so I started looking for jobs.

No one would hire me with my background at the time.

I also didn't know how to rebrand myself like I do now for people, which

is another, again, why I do what I do.

So I went back and said, how do I become credible?

let's go get my doctorate.

And after I get my doctorate during the time of getting my doctorate,

I can probably figure out where I want to play in the space.

I know how to build a business.

I built a business before this.

I wrote a book before this.

I built a brand.

I was writing for ask men.

I was, I was a kid getting a hundred thousand viewers on different videos,

different partnerships that I had.

I had some clients I was speaking at events.

I go, cool.

I don't want to do that work anymore.

So let's shut all that down.

then let's wait and see and evaluate and research and see where I want

to go into this, in this space.

So then about mid 2016, so about a year and a half into my doctoral

program at a year and a half left.

I thought I said, I want to create live for yourself consulting.

I've actually created the acronym on the back of a napkin on a plane

going to class one one session because I'd fly every month to

California for my doctoral classes.

I was still working in healthcare and then, but I said, I still don't know

exactly how I want to operate or serve.

And so then I kept researching, got published, got out of

school with my doctorate 2018.

I want, I had a couple of clients, had a little bit of work, but then really

took off because I was able to then figure out what's my strategy, what's

my platform, what's my voice, who I want to serve, how do I want to serve it.

But then by the way, while this is growing, for me to feel credible,

I wanted to work internal.

So then I also went and found positions as a learning and development director.

I eventually got hired by a client to be the head of talent development

for a life sciences manufacturer.

And now I'm, I've partnerships with many different organizations working

in the talent development space.

And then my one on one executive and leadership clients.

And so it sounds like around 18 is when a lot of.

Things really formed up after you got your doctorate.

What was your doctorate in?

what was the degree there?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Organizational leadership.

Oh, nice.

I like that.

That fits well with my, I'm a industrial and systems engineer.

I like systems and organization stuff.

That fits well with that.

there, I had two or three thoughts that came across my mind as you were

talking about those things there, Ben.

And I think let's go down this first one that I think will maybe

catch us up to where we are now.

We are, I'm going to timestamp.

I don't like to timestamp episodes.

We were going to timestamp the recording of this in the fall of 2023.

And 2018, just a couple of years later, some things merged together

that seemed to bring together a lot of things that were in your sphere.

You had health, you had clarity in what people do and how they live and their

work and their careers and leadership.

All of those seem to come together and explode is the only word I could use.

Obviously, when, in March of 2020, when, COVID hit the United States borders.

And so I don't want us to spend all of the rest of our time We've got about 20

minutes or so, but I would love to know what happened with you your business

because I know if you've got a health mindset that time was very interesting

and I won't even say anything other than it was probably interesting.

I know if you're helping people gain clarity in what they do with their

lives, that time was interesting.

So talk to me just a little bit about what was going on with you and

what were you seeing with the world and the people that were in your

sphere of influence at that time.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: From the ashes rise, the Phoenix.

I don't know if you've heard that before, but whenever there's major

disruption in the economy, you see this huge influx of entrepreneurs.

And not only that though, we saw a huge influx of people saying,

I'm not doing what I love and talk about a platform to stand on.

And it was all over the world and people were listening.

People were, people started believing at a rate that they did not believe before

that they could do what they wanted to do.

And if they didn't know what they wanted to do, they weren't going to do anything.

that is probably one of the newest things is that I don't

like what I'm doing so much.

I will deal with the fact that I'm not going to do anything

for this point in time, and I'm going to create space for it.

And I can't, I don't know how that impacted me.

I did start seeing a lot more sales calls.

So it probably helped business.

for me personally, outside of work.

I moved.

So I moved to Austin, Texas, got out of Chicago because everything that I

was doing that I thought I needed to do in person I could do virtually, even

though I took care of clients virtually anyways, but it really put a lot of

emphasis on the virtual work environment.

And so I said, I have no reason to be here anymore.

All my other income streams that were in person.

Disappeared overnight.

And so I said, let's just go, let's get finally get out of here.

I landed in a community of like minded individuals in a city where I could

say prep fake professional personal development is something it's probably

on everyone's playlist on their podcasts.

So that's something that's been really great to be around at the same time,

actually as the first professional position that I received internal, I

became the learning and talent development director of an organization called

YPO, which is basically a membership club for CEOs around the world.

It's about 40, 000 CEOs and executives.

And so at that same time, March, 2020, I'm, I have business, I have clients

I'm doing well, I'm growing my brand.

I get reached out to by this company.

I remember the phone call.

I remember getting an unknown number on my phone and picking

it up after leaving a business meeting and it being this company.

And it was the first time that everyone ever tried to recruit me for the

new industry that I started working in other than one on one clients.

And so for me, that was a big pinnacle and a big change.

And at the same time, because that came up, I said, what else is out here?

What am I missing working on my own?

I've only experiences I have in talent and leadership development is working

for myself and with individuals.

What's going on.

And so then I built partnerships with companies like torch and

bravely and the muse, and these are companies that offer career and

executive coaching on an ad hoc basis.

So that let me build community and see what tools people use and how

coaching was actually being done.

And honestly, just proved to me that I'm a pretty good coach,

which was pretty great to see.

And because you don't really have an opportunity to compare yourself with

anyone when you're working for yourself.

And so I don't, I'm not sure if that answered your question, but it was

honestly a time of opportunity for me and I think a time for opportunity for

the world overall, even though there was some things that happened that were

very terrible, but at the same time, I think we saw some phoenixes rise.

there's a word you used earlier as we got started, you talked

about the importance of clarity.

And I think what happened with a number of people was, is that they gained clarity.

Now, some of that came from a negative situation, obviously,

but I think they learned some things they didn't want to do.

They learned that maybe life was short, maybe there was some fear involved with

sometimes fears and okay, motivator.

But, it does sound like you were well positioned for that time.

Let's start shifting just a little bit and let's move into some things that you

can share with myself and people listening in that might be helpful and beneficial.

One of the things that I noticed in reading your stuff is the

importance of values and been, I've been around a lot of people.

I've seen this in myself and seen it with others, and I think that we have a,

I don't think we have a values deficit.

I think we have an awareness of our values deficit in culture and society.

What are your thoughts about that?

And talk to us about how important coming up with those values or at least

getting closer to what you think your values might be in this whole process

of our career and the type work we do.

Thank

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Honestly, my whole business, everything that I do in life

is founded on this one moment that I had.

And I was sitting with my business partner for my first coaching practice.

And we were in his apartment in Chicago, about a block,

block away from the hospital.

That's, it was a really convenient situation.

And we were sitting there talking about relationships.

And all of a sudden I go, you know what the issue is?

what are you talking about?

I said, the issue is our values.

What do you, he's what?

The reason why we have conflict in relationships and why they don't work

out is because of value misalignment.

And that statement, it evolved into a lot of things.

I ended up leading interfaith relationship workshops to help people explore their

values and to understand why there was conflict and why there wasn't conflict

and what your values meant to you.

And then that is okay, so this isn't exactly the modality that

I want to explore values in.

So what about helping people with their values in other areas of their life?

That led to me doing my doctoral research.

And the relationship between job satisfaction and value congruence.

And that led me then to founding one of the pillars of live as values.

And right now, one of the number one exercises that I have with my clients

when it comes to clarity, other than what your future vision is and what

your goals are, we start with what are your values and people do not know what

their values are and the assessments that are in the world give you a word.

But they make you do nothing with it.

And the biggest mistake that we have when we think we know our values, other than

the fact that sometimes we choose anti values, which are values that are not

actually values in themselves, is that we don't define them for the different areas

of our life and understand what it means to have that value in terms of an action

and living every day type of operation.

So one of the things that we hit pretty hard here, it's like a theme

of the last 200 and something episodes.

I didn't realize this early on, but we I don't want to say we

beat up on the word success, but I think we beat up on the definition

that most people have of success.

And the reason why is that I think most people.

Copy or they duplicate or they don't think about it.

And to me, what you just said, and I'll say this and let you expand on it.

What you just said is the foundation to then how we go about defining whatever.

Air quotes here, success means, you and I could have people come to us

and want coaching and they can say, you know, I just, I want to make

more money and we could probably help them do that, but I just, I get to

the point where I don't want to do that anymore, I want to know what.

What someone really defined success as, and it's important

that they do their value.

So link those two together, values and success in light of what I just said.

And, just share whatever you want to about it.

I'm open to it.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Yeah, I work with a lot of high achieving executives.

their whole life has been, how do I grow, how do I make more money, and

you go through this value exercise and they write, success, money, and

I'm like, no, those aren't values.

let's talk about this a little bit more, and it starts a really great

conversation around what does it mean to be successful, and what does success

mean to them, and what expectations do they have for success, and what are

the different components of success?

How do you break it down?

Is success safety?

Is success validation?

oh, validation is not a value, validation is a need.

it's a belief that you have in terms to feel confident and worthy.

Okay, so now we're getting to the heart of it.

What is it that you feel is really important?

And very often we just think success is our driver when it's not.

Great, you have all the money in the world.

What do you do now?

What's important to you?

And.

If we have things, if we have needs, like status, we ask

ourselves, why do we have that need?

Where does it come from?

And so we mistakenly label something as our value, which is really

actually something that we've learned from society that we need

to usually feel safe or confident and to believe that we're worthy.

And so we can break that down even more to say, okay, so if you can

actually get rid of that and let go of those limiting beliefs, because

that's what they are, then what do you actually deem as important?

What lights you up?

What creates?

What is something that you're passionate about?

What is something that brings you joy and fulfillment?

It's not the money.

It's what the money can bring for you.

And that then leads to us figuring out what are those key terms or phrases

that you that we could ascribe as being your value potentially and then we can

dive into those more and look at some memories where those have existed We

can look at them even more and say how does this come across in your personal

professional life or your relationships?

And then we can define those specifically and then say, how are you living them

now or where are you not living them?

How would you rate these areas of your life?

And then what actions can we take to live more true to your values?

So I went a little bit further than the question, but I think it's important

to at least tie some of the dots together to help people if they're

looking to do this for themselves.

No, that ties it together.

And that's great because it leads into something I was going to ask

is, I think maybe this is a hurdle.

I don't know.

You can say what you've seen related to this.

I see many people that go for what I call the superficial.

Stuff that was you know success and listen i'm not anti money I'm, not anti cars in

the garage or any of that kind of stuff I'm not against all that But also when

you go through life and you've had that and then lost it and then gained it again

You have a different perspective about it.

And that's a little bit of our story.

But then the thing that's Challenging to me as a coach.

I run into this as a coach and just interacting with people and I see it

when I'm with people that are, I guess they're having difficulty digging

a little bit more to get to what I'll call their root value system.

I think some are at different levels.

And so I'm going to ask you, what are some hurdles that people have to get to?

I'm calling it root.

If you've got a different word for it, that's fine.

And what are some things if someone's listening in and they're going, I don't

even know if i've dug down and gotten to them I don't know where I am with

my value system just a few things and I know it's probably deeper than just a

few minute conversation But help someone get a few steps farther than they are

right now If they're concerned that they've got some disconnects right there

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: That root question, it's true.

People tend to ascribe importance to values that are more

about success or achievement.

Or maybe even what they think is true based on their upbringing

or their current environment.

And those can really hold you back.

And part of understand there's no right or wrong, by the way, if something

serves you and you get value from it and you're happy, then great, I'm

not here to tell you that it's wrong.

It's not at all what I want to do.

But if you come to me and tell me that you're unhappy and you're unfulfilled

and you feel stuck and you can't feel that you can't be present and you

can't have positive relationships and you don't feel like your work is right

and you feel like you're underutilized and there's more you should be doing

but you don't know what, then great, we can start questioning your values.

If you feel that way.

And we should start questioning your values.

And all that means is, are you showing up in a way that is

actually meaningful to you?

Simple question.

And if you are dissatisfied, if you are unhappy, if you feel stuck, if

your relationships are filled with conflict, I promise you that you're not.

And so that the question then comes, great, so I don't care what you believe.

I don't care.

Take no matter how many limiting beliefs that you have, if you're

tied to success and achievement and wealth or whatever it is.

And because, by the way, wealth is important after you become

aligned to your values even, too.

This is also, interestingly enough, my, from my dissertation and my

research, you found healthcare workers super high in value alignment

when it comes to benevolence and care and all those types of things.

But because their intrinsic values were fed, Their extrinsic values became

more important to them, and so they still needed higher levels of wealth

and benefits and recognition, etc.

And I see this in my own life.

I show up every day, I love my work, but now I have other needs that I want to

meet because I know that it's possible.

And once you open the door to possibilities, you can put a level of

awareness and importance to anything that you want as long as you still show up in

a way that matters to you and it doesn't add negativity or pressure to your life.

So that's a little bit of a sidebar.

So to define your values though, quick exercise, anyone can do this.

And I hinted this already is you want to explore memories where

you're the happiest or dissatisfied.

And in those moments, when you were happiest in your life, you were

probably forming things that you thought were really important to you.

And in moments where you were really dissatisfied, you were probably

forming things that were really.

not important to you, or anti important, the things that you strive away from,

the things that your body goes, not safe, not good, shouldn't be here.

And those memories can hint at the things that you want to hold true at your core.

And so you explore those memories for themes.

And then you also ask yourself the question after doing that exercise.

So you've had these defining moments, you have these memories now.

You ask yourself, what is most important about who I am?

And then you just free write.

Just go, there's no right, there's no wrong, there's no words you have to use.

And then after you're done with that, you do what's called

almost like keyword coloring.

So you look for the similar keywords that you have, you color them in, you

notice the themes that are happening, you write out those themes, and

eventually you have a bulk of information that is the thread of similarity

between that work that you just did.

And those threads of similarities now you can break down into

keywords and short phrases.

And when you get that information, those hint at what your values are, they're not

prioritized at the moment, and they're not defined, and so they're not aligned

to the different components of your life, like relationships, and personal, and

intimate, and work, but that's at least the start of saying, okay, there's this

bulk of stuff that I have, these, my values are here, and now you can start

prioritizing them and defining them.

So ben how many people?

This is a this might be an unanswerable question, but i'm going to ask it

anyway I believe that some people can do that on their own, but

many people need external help.

Hence, we have two coaches talking on a conversation right here.

Have you run across a lot of people, and maybe we know them, maybe they're

some of the people we see in society and culture, that have reached certain levels.

How easy is it for someone to do that on their own, versus how important

is it to get somebody like you or a coach or somebody to help them along?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Most of the people that hire me, all of the people that

hire me can't do it on their own.

So I have a very different

You have a bias.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: a bias, my, my sample size is very much niche, but I

bet probably 98 percent of the people listening heard that very quick order

of operations and finding your values and 98 percent of them aren't going to

do it of the people that want to do it, like of the people that actually feel

like this would be beneficial to them.

And so we want to do things in our life, but not, we don't have

a life usually that's oriented towards making space for it.

And so that's why coaches tend to be really important, not just for their

expertise, not for their ability to peel back the layers, not for the fact that

they create a space that includes no judgment and does not have your limiting

beliefs and can challenge and question you and orient you in a way that you can't do

yourself, but, and all that's important.

But sometimes there are people, even like myself, that are very self driven and

are able to learn things on their own.

But are you willing to set aside the time and make this the most important part of

your life right now as you do the work?

And I think that is even more important than even just being with an expert.

And it is few and far between that I see those types of individuals.

Yeah, I would agree from my perspective too.

It's like there's some people that just have this growth mindset.

Some people lean towards the fixed and those people that are growth are

going to be moving in a direction that is going to be helpful to

what we're talking about here.

The name live for yourself.

I think, especially because we've got a lot of people of faith here

that sometimes have this bigger perspective, I think sometimes

people struggle with the self part.

They really do think maybe, I don't want to say they're not worthy or

something like that, Ben, but they might struggle with that live for yourself.

Talk a little bit about that.

And maybe.

Speak to someone who might be thinking, no, I need to live for everybody else.

I need to, live for family or I just need to go out and grind it

out and make this money for, this talk a little bit about that.

Then I've got a couple of questions as we wrap up here, just to help people move

along and get some resources for them.

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Living for yourself is basically just speaking the

language that you were born to speak.

That's all it means.

What are your strengths?

What are your talents?

What are your interests?

What are your passions?

Now lean into those as much as possible, despite any pressures that you have from

other people, despite anything that you think you need to do, because when you are

speaking the language that you were born to speak, you are communicating in the

world in a way that it can understand you.

And so lean in, if you are leaning into yourself, you're living for yourself,

it doesn't mean that you're not helping other people, doesn't mean that you're

not giving in a way that's important to you, but it means that you're giving in

a way that is going to be most effective.

And that's what's important.

I wear the tree of life as a symbol on my wrist.

It's the only piece of jewelry that I wear.

And sometimes I give out necklaces with the tree of life on them or bracelets.

And the story I tell when I give it to people is to try to help

awaken that, that understanding.

It's imagine that we are all connected.

And at any time you hold yourself back from doing something that is

true to who you are as a person.

You block the system.

So those roots, those branches, that trunk, wherever you are, you make it

impossible for someone to actually be connected to the rest of the world.

And so if we can live for ourselves, we are actually allowing

everyone else to do the same.

And so be that person, be that role model, be that individual that

understands what their values are, does that work, and then gives to the world

in a way that is best suited for them.

that's very good, Ben.

and I love that.

I've never heard that language.

I really appreciate that greatly.

If someone wants to.

Move along either get resources or if you've got like a next step or something

like that Where what should people do?

What would be a good next step for someone if they've been really tweaked

by the conversation that we've had here

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: So I got three steps for everybody.

First off, go into your podcast app, wherever you are, and if you're

in, if you have an iPhone, scroll all the way down and you're going

to see a place to rate this show.

Give it a rating that you think is most important, hopefully five

stars and add a little comment.

So spread the word.

If you spread the word here, then you're spreading the word of this

episode and the word of all the word of all the other guests.

And even more so you're adding, creating an impact in the world.

The next two things I ask you to do is go to liveforyourselfconsulting.Com

at liveforyourselfconsulting.Com.

You'll have the opportunity to download your free manual to creating a career

that is fulfilling and meaningful to you.

And then once you get onto that list, you'll get links to everything else.

But most importantly, the third thing I'd like you to do is

go on LinkedIn and look up Dr.

Benjamin Ritter and send me a connection request and just

say that you heard me here.

Let's start a conversation.

I like when people take action And I love what you did there.

You gave them three things to take action and I appreciate that very much

I highly recommend people Take you up on that and you've got some great

resources over at your website and I appreciate you sharing that We'll make

sure there Down in the notes, Ben, we are seek, go create those three words.

Describe our podcast and we'll let you pick one of those words over the

other two, maybe means more to you.

And why seek, go or create, which one do you choose?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Seek.

And why?

Dr. Benjamin Ritter: Ooh, I need a reason as well.

Okay.

because I think in my life right now, I am in a seeking mindset.

And I feel it in everything that I do, I'm seeking home and I think I found

it here, but I've been really focused on building my community and really

intentional with the relationships that I'm investing my time in.

And I'm still in the process of finding those core individuals that

I want to surround myself with.

And that's currently where a lot of my time and attention is going.

Excellent.

Thank you for that.

Dr.

Benjamin Ritter.

Thank you for this conversation.

I really enjoyed it.

I love this type conversation.

I appreciate the depth and I appreciate hearing all about your journey.

I highly recommend if you've listened in to take him up on those three

steps he mentioned specifically.

Go to check out live for yourself a lot of great resources There are

a lot of things you can check out.

We have new episodes here every monday at seek go create until next

time He referenced this earlier until next time what i'd like to say is

be all that you were created to be