1 00:00:00,020 --> 00:00:05,120 TK: I call it taking white advice as a black person. 2 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:08,920 TK: You know, sometimes it doesn't match. It doesn't correlate. 3 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:17,140 TK: And I ended up feeling worse because I tried something that I didn't realize 4 00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:18,420 TK: wasn't going to work for me. 5 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:22,660 TK: Because the advice was given to me by someone I loved. So I went and I tried 6 00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:27,800 TK: it, but I forgot to factor in our differences and how the world looks at us. 7 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:34,420 Danny: Hi, and welcome to 5 Random Questions, a show with unexpected questions and unfiltered answers. 8 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,500 Danny: I'm your host, Danny Brown, and each week I'll be asking my guests five questions 9 00:00:38,500 --> 00:00:40,380 Danny: created by a random question generator. 10 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,440 Danny: The guest has no idea what the questions are, and neither do I, 11 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:48,800 Danny: which means this could go either way. So sit back, relax, and let's dive into this week's episode. 12 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:54,220 Danny: Today's guest is Keisha TK Dutes. TK is an independent audio producer, 13 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:59,200 Danny: educator, host, and reporter with nearly two decades in radio and podcasting. 14 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,520 Danny: Her production credits include BuzzFeed's First Aid Kit, Function with Anil 15 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,820 Danny: Dash, Good Words with Kirk Franklin, and Open World. 16 00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:12,180 Danny: She's taught at Spotify, PRX Podcast Garage, and BRIC Arts Media, 17 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:17,320 Danny: and currently serves on the board of the Association of Independence and Radio, AIR. 18 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:21,700 Danny: Through her company, Philo's Future Media, TK helps producers bring their ideas 19 00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:24,980 Danny: to life. So TK, welcome to five random questions. 20 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,400 TK: Thank you so much, Danny. I'm ready. Let's do it. 21 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,980 Danny: I'm excited I'm excited and obviously 22 00:01:31,980 --> 00:01:34,840 Danny: I mean looking at the bio there the introduction you've got a 23 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,640 Danny: massive amount of experience and passion for podcasting 24 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,420 Danny: and the audio medium but one thing that 25 00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:44,560 Danny: I was interested to learn about I was looking at your website and 26 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:50,760 Danny: you've got there what you started during the pandemic you've got your visual 27 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:55,420 Danny: art practice where you use resins and molds to create various shapes and there's 28 00:01:55,420 --> 00:01:58,480 Danny: some really cool and interesting pieces on the but one that jumped out to me 29 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:02,620 Danny: was a really cool one called Granny's Treasure. 30 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:07,140 Danny: Now, going by the name, I feel that must be inspired by your grandma. 31 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:08,660 Danny: But what's the story behind Granny's Treasure? 32 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:14,320 TK: Yeah, it's a, yeah, you saw the little jar with like the jewels on it. 33 00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:21,160 TK: And it just reminded me of like, I don't know, I think every grandma had the 34 00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:25,500 TK: three piece set, like a vessel, a brush and a mirror. 35 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:29,880 TK: And I just remember something like that being on my grandma's like vanity. 36 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,940 TK: And no one was, no one could touch it. you're not allowed to touch it. 37 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:40,600 TK: So that was kind of my way of recreating one piece of the three pieces. 38 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,860 TK: Eventually, I'll make the other pieces. 39 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:48,500 TK: But that was the beginning of that. And when I made it, I showed it to someone. 40 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,000 TK: And like the next week, it was in a small art show here in Brooklyn, New York. 41 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:57,160 TK: So I was like, when when I think of stuff like that, it's like, 42 00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:01,040 TK: she's talking to me and I'm able to have her in different places. 43 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:07,860 TK: I'm so glad that resonated with you. I'm always surprised at how things resonate. 44 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,760 TK: People surprise me every time. 45 00:03:10,550 --> 00:03:14,030 Danny: Yeah, well, like I said, I mean, there's some amazing, really cool, you know, items there. 46 00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:16,510 Danny: And I'll be sure to leave the link to your visual art place, 47 00:03:16,710 --> 00:03:20,810 Danny: visual art section on your side in the episode show notes so people can check it out. 48 00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:26,090 Danny: Do you have like a favorite approach to how you come up with a design for that then? 49 00:03:26,610 --> 00:03:33,270 TK: I would say I let the imperfections happen because I'm not, I guess, 50 00:03:33,350 --> 00:03:35,670 TK: a classically trained, you know, artist. 51 00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:40,510 TK: I didn't go to school for art. I literally found this medium during the pandemic. 52 00:03:40,510 --> 00:03:43,670 TK: And then I had been influenced by people in my community. 53 00:03:43,930 --> 00:03:49,150 TK: And so just osmosis. So I don't have like, there's a right way to do something. 54 00:03:49,350 --> 00:03:52,230 TK: So I literally just keep going till I'm happy. 55 00:03:52,430 --> 00:03:57,190 TK: And so it's kind of ugly till it's not to me, you know? 56 00:03:57,390 --> 00:04:00,950 TK: So I'll keep adding colors. I'll keep adding gold leaf. 57 00:04:01,130 --> 00:04:03,090 TK: Oh, more gems, more gems, more 58 00:04:03,090 --> 00:04:08,630 TK: gems. Let's do it. Like, so my approach is keep going till you like it. 59 00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:13,710 TK: And if you can't get to a place, because I've also gotten to a place where I don't like it. 60 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:17,470 TK: So I have to ask myself, why don't I like it? And I realize more often than 61 00:04:17,470 --> 00:04:22,470 TK: not, it's because I'm not having a good day or a good time in life in that moment. 62 00:04:22,570 --> 00:04:24,490 TK: And there's nothing I could do to get that back. 63 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:30,590 TK: And those pieces, sometimes I break them and reintegrate them into like a new 64 00:04:30,590 --> 00:04:37,010 TK: piece. and and the second piece is like oh relief i feel better now yeah yeah 65 00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:40,530 Danny: Well it's very cool and you these pieces are for sale or is that. 66 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:46,330 TK: You do yeah some of them um basically i'm like kind of i'm vibing so if you 67 00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:50,570 TK: see it's like that type of thing you see something you like um like tell me 68 00:04:50,570 --> 00:04:57,590 TK: because part of also i have to remember that i'm doing this for my wellness part of it is if i 69 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:03,180 TK: If I make it into work, then it becomes something else. 70 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:08,780 TK: So, but I also know that to be able to make more, I have to get rid of things. 71 00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:11,800 TK: So I have, I've been working on my balance there. 72 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,540 TK: So basically kind of just ask. 73 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:17,960 Danny: I will definitely do that. Like I say, I was like really impressed when I was 74 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,920 Danny: just going through with them and some really fun, interesting pieces there. 75 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,860 Danny: So yeah, I will leave the link to that in the show notes for sure. 76 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,320 Danny: Thank you. But what we are here for as well is a little bit of fun on this side. 77 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:32,560 Danny: Where if it doesn't work, we'll go to the next question and we'll keep going that way. 78 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:36,220 Danny: So TK, are you ready to jump in five random questions hot seat? 79 00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:38,540 TK: Yes, I'm ready, Danny. 80 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:42,580 Danny: Awesome. Let's bring up the random question generator. 81 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,580 Danny: Okay, this is a good one to start with here, I feel. 82 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:51,920 Danny: Question number one, if there was an extra hour every day, what would you do with it? 83 00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:58,040 TK: There was an extra hour every day. What would I do with it? 84 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:06,800 TK: Man. Okay. So there's already not enough time in the world for anything, 85 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:14,980 TK: but if I did have an extra hour, man, I would, I would just end up doing what I do now. 86 00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:19,020 TK: Like just another run, another, it's more runway, right? 87 00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:24,240 TK: It's more runway to like sleep or do art or like, 88 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,260 TK: I would focus it on myself because there's so 89 00:06:27,260 --> 00:06:30,220 TK: many hours in the day that you have to do you 90 00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:33,280 TK: know work um I love my loved ones but 91 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:38,940 TK: you know give me a break um you know what I'm saying but I would do like come 92 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:44,180 TK: on let's just do like stuff we like I'd learn something I'd watch some more 93 00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:51,120 TK: tv I'm not even gonna I'm not precious Danny let's just like self-care so self-care 94 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,660 TK: I would do more self-care with it 95 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,980 Danny: I think I really like that answer because, like you say, everybody's so busy. 96 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:01,680 Danny: And it seems that since the pandemic as well, everybody's busier. 97 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:05,220 Danny: You know, it was great for a while. Obviously, it wasn't great because of what 98 00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:06,080 Danny: was going on in the world. 99 00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:09,400 Danny: But it was great in that places were closed. You could stay at home. 100 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,820 Danny: You could, you know, have a better work-life balance, if you like. 101 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:15,100 Danny: You could spend more time with loved ones because it was lockdown, 102 00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,060 Danny: stuff like that. And that kind of shifted again. 103 00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:24,680 Danny: So I love the fact that you mentioned self-care and that it's not specific to, 104 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,200 Danny: okay, I would spend an extra hour in bed or spend an extra hour reading. 105 00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:32,840 Danny: It's just whatever you're doing at the time, that would be the extra hour, I guess. 106 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,840 TK: Yeah. And I think, like you said, like a lot of us figured out, 107 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:40,100 TK: I mean, a lot of us kind of answered that question during the pandemic while 108 00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:47,120 TK: it was absolutely weird and terrible and it played with our brains. 109 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:53,320 TK: It kind of reset something for us because we had to figure out what to do with 110 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,700 TK: the extra hours we were at home. 111 00:07:54,920 --> 00:08:00,260 TK: So we were making bread. So we were, you know, doing care packages for our neighbors. 112 00:08:00,260 --> 00:08:04,560 TK: We were like finding the outdoors again. So I think that more people can answer 113 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:06,580 TK: this question than we think. 114 00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:10,960 TK: And, um, that's what I found. Like I reshifted my whole, 115 00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:14,240 TK: um, I learned how to sleep my way 116 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,400 TK: like what times work for me I'm basically I'm 117 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,800 TK: I'm like I'm I'm I'm on eastern time spiritually 118 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:26,540 TK: but I think I'm on mountain time like in my heart and soul like or central you 119 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:30,720 TK: know so like I learned how to sleep again I learned some different things to 120 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:35,660 TK: do um learn how to make ice cream like like literally just like well I mean 121 00:08:35,660 --> 00:08:38,540 TK: I guess since we're all here trying to figure something out 122 00:08:39,430 --> 00:08:43,830 TK: I learned that I had more capacity for beverages, alcoholic beverages. 123 00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:50,310 Danny: Yeah, I feel a lot of people probably did that. It's like the fight or flight 124 00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:53,350 Danny: syndrome, isn't it? We think, okay, how am I going to cope with that? 125 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:57,630 Danny: I am curious, maybe, and maybe there isn't something specifically, 126 00:08:57,810 --> 00:09:00,650 Danny: but you mentioned, obviously, you're very busy. 127 00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:06,130 Danny: Is there one thing that you would maybe jettison in place of the extra one hour, 128 00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:09,810 Danny: specifically or that you can think you know i could do another less of that 129 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:10,830 Danny: if it gives me more of this. 130 00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:14,110 TK: Worrying worrying about 131 00:09:14,110 --> 00:09:17,390 TK: a variety of things that i can't control and you 132 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:22,430 TK: know we all like uh there's all like these sayings about like not don't worry 133 00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:29,290 TK: it's it's just what we do we worry we're human and if if there was a magic you 134 00:09:29,290 --> 00:09:35,690 TK: know spell to worry less about things i couldn't control That is what I would get rid of because, 135 00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:38,290 TK: you know, sometimes you're literally sitting there. 136 00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:41,410 TK: You're just sitting and you're like, oh, wow. 137 00:09:41,490 --> 00:09:48,270 TK: What if this person says this? Or what if this job that or someone was angry at me? But maybe I did. 138 00:09:48,430 --> 00:09:51,050 TK: I do a thing. You're making up stories, you know, so. 139 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:56,460 TK: I would have to say worry less, you know? 140 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,880 Danny: Yeah, no, I like that. I had a guest then recently, we just recorded actually 141 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:05,320 Danny: for the new season and she was very similar where, you know, 142 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:08,220 Danny: she was very much about giving herself positive reinforcement. 143 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,940 Danny: Yeah. Like little sticky notes on the, you know, around the house just saying, 144 00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:16,000 Danny: because there's so much negativity towards, you know, people in general, there can be. 145 00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:20,400 Danny: It's important, like you say, to jetson that if you can and not worry about 146 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,000 Danny: the stuff that you can't control. If you can control it, great. 147 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:26,360 Danny: You've got an option to maybe change it, improve it, get rid of it. 148 00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:30,140 Danny: But yeah, I like that completely that if you can't control it, 149 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,580 Danny: and especially when it comes to mental wellness and mental health, 150 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:36,480 Danny: it's key to not focus on that side. 151 00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:37,340 TK: Yeah. 152 00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:42,580 Danny: Well, I think that was a nice one to sort of open up and ease you into the random questions. 153 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:46,520 Danny: So let's have a look at question number two. 154 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:51,540 Danny: Okay, TK, question number two. What countries have you traveled to? 155 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:59,620 TK: Ooh, okay. I've traveled to, my first time out, I went to Japan. 156 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,640 TK: First time out of the country. 157 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:07,280 TK: I had a friend that was, she moved there and she missed America. 158 00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:12,460 TK: And she was just like, my job is giving me like a little budget. 159 00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:16,500 TK: I can bring you out here. And I was like, me for free? 160 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:23,020 TK: Go. OK. So I went to Japan as like a fresh face 20 something year old. 161 00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:26,520 TK: And I was just with her and her friends that like her local friends. 162 00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:33,280 TK: So I'm like having like super local experiences to the point where like I'm at the bar with them. 163 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:38,460 TK: We are having drinking all night like how like how local folks do. 164 00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:44,800 TK: She was like, I'm going to order a, say, so like they have like a elder person come to your house. 165 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:49,300 TK: And she's like, we're going to put on the kimonos, but we're going to do it 166 00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:50,680 TK: right. Like we're going to do it. 167 00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:57,950 TK: We're going to do it. And this like grandma lady comes in and she like gets 168 00:11:57,950 --> 00:12:02,250 TK: us suited up and you have to wear like undergarments a certain type of way. 169 00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:09,050 TK: And then they tie the undergarment and they tie it really tight so that everything is snug. 170 00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:14,110 TK: And I enjoyed it. I felt like I looked very beautiful in it. 171 00:12:14,190 --> 00:12:17,010 TK: And I just never had that experience before, but I didn't 172 00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:20,510 TK: know we were gonna be out like out and about for like 12 173 00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:23,470 TK: hours so by the time it came to like meeting 174 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:26,310 TK: friends and hanging out and doing um like 175 00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:29,770 TK: you know like restaurant bar activities I 176 00:12:29,770 --> 00:12:33,870 TK: was just sitting at the bar and I was like why do I feel woozy the 177 00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:37,130 TK: kimono was so tight by then it 178 00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:40,270 TK: was like cutting off my circulation and um 179 00:12:40,270 --> 00:12:43,130 TK: so like they had to like undo me 180 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:46,950 TK: like at the bar and like loosen everything up but like i just remember that 181 00:12:46,950 --> 00:12:51,990 TK: and um that was i felt like i was like how much more authentic can it get like 182 00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:58,130 TK: you're like dressed in you know the clothes of the people um from once upon 183 00:12:58,130 --> 00:13:03,070 TK: a time and then you're also gonna pass out like how better can it get like yeah well 184 00:13:03,070 --> 00:13:06,370 Danny: It's like the um the victorian corsets that victorian 185 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:09,430 Danny: women women wore in the uk i'm not sure if it 186 00:13:09,430 --> 00:13:12,450 Danny: was outside the uk and europe i'm like the the bustles i 187 00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:15,390 Danny: guess it said would be the north American equivalent if I 188 00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:18,170 Danny: look at the the westerns you know like the old Wild West and 189 00:13:18,170 --> 00:13:22,170 Danny: like the bustles where it was so pulled in tight at the waist so you had the 190 00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:26,110 Danny: expanded hips and the expanded top half but the waist was like super super small 191 00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:32,070 Danny: and to your point it's like um so many people or so many women sorry would faint 192 00:13:32,070 --> 00:13:37,870 Danny: because the oxygen is being cut off it's been tight so tightly wrapped and pulled against you. 193 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,730 TK: The things we do for fashion Danny like 194 00:13:41,390 --> 00:13:45,330 TK: I'm, I'm, I'm a different, I'm, it's been 20 years since that trip. 195 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:46,510 TK: I'm a different girl now. 196 00:13:47,530 --> 00:13:51,130 TK: As we, as we talk today, I'm wearing soft, soft, soft, soft, 197 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,970 TK: soft pants with a very stretchy, um, um, belly part. 198 00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:59,930 TK: And to your, you know, you were talking about the Victorian ladies, um, London. 199 00:14:00,130 --> 00:14:05,050 TK: I've been to several times. I love London and, uh, my favorite kind of TV programming. 200 00:14:05,230 --> 00:14:09,290 TK: Y'all make really good shows. I just got to say, I want to compliment you on 201 00:14:09,290 --> 00:14:10,750 TK: behalf of your, your media. 202 00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:14,050 TK: Fantastic programming thank you oh 203 00:14:14,050 --> 00:14:18,730 Danny: It's funny my my wife's canadian and she came over to the uk for a visit when 204 00:14:18,730 --> 00:14:21,330 Danny: we basically when we first met i guess so it was our first time together, 205 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:27,490 Danny: um and we spent a lot of time watching british tv and one of her favorite was 206 00:14:27,490 --> 00:14:31,510 Danny: graham norton who's still going today who i think is amazing you know like he 207 00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:35,850 Danny: like the guests he has on and he just lets them go and you get some crazy stories 208 00:14:35,850 --> 00:14:37,350 Danny: from them because of that yeah. 209 00:14:37,350 --> 00:14:41,570 TK: No like i think and And also, like, maybe this is The Grass Is Always Greener, 210 00:14:41,610 --> 00:14:44,710 TK: right? Like, I'm someone from elsewhere that's looking at y'all's TV. 211 00:14:44,930 --> 00:14:47,470 TK: But I just find it super refreshing. 212 00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:55,510 TK: Very, even the dramas, it seem more candid, you know, than what I'm used to watching here. 213 00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:59,070 TK: But so, okay, so London's on my list. Germany. 214 00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:04,140 TK: Oh, my gosh. Oh, Mexico is like my second home nowadays, you know, 215 00:15:04,260 --> 00:15:11,400 TK: especially with just like a lot of Black people have found their way to Mexico since the pandemic. 216 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:16,640 TK: And during the pandemic, if folks will remember, in America, 217 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:20,980 TK: we were having another resurgence of the civil rights movement, 218 00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,720 TK: you know, with Black Lives Matter and all. 219 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:27,860 TK: I didn't make the permanent moves, but I'm definitely one of those folks that 220 00:15:27,860 --> 00:15:31,580 TK: felt motivated to repeatedly visit. 221 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:36,320 TK: And now I feel comfortable calling it. I would call it a second home. 222 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:42,420 TK: And my brother has since moved there after seeing my adventures. So... 223 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:49,040 TK: You know, there's something in the water and it's a beautiful place. The people are lovely. 224 00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:52,980 TK: There's a lot of work to be done in terms of like, you know, 225 00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:58,820 TK: gentrification and understanding that like I can't go to I can't come from my 226 00:15:58,820 --> 00:16:00,820 TK: country to gentrify yours. 227 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:05,500 TK: Right. So there's a lot of there's a lot of work to be done there in terms of 228 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:12,140 TK: like this expat slash immigrant commentary or conversation that's out right now. 229 00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:16,780 TK: But those are just I think those are some of the places that I can remember 230 00:16:16,780 --> 00:16:19,660 TK: off the bat that I've had some really great times at 231 00:16:19,660 --> 00:16:22,640 Danny: No that's awesome because I know there's like there can be 232 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,480 Danny: a stereotype of Americans don't travel that much 233 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,180 Danny: outside your own country and I know that's not 234 00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:31,000 Danny: true from many American friends I have and people I've spoken 235 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,780 Danny: to on this show for example but the 236 00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:36,640 Danny: Mexico is interesting because I know a lot of Canadians 237 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,480 Danny: used to go to the US especially in the winter because winter in 238 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,840 Danny: canada i don't recommend it if you don't like the cold um so 239 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,580 Danny: we had a lot of snowbirds that would go to maybe florida or you know 240 00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:48,580 Danny: southern parts of the u.s because it was warmer and because 241 00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:53,480 Danny: of recent you know events with tariffs etc and statements made about 51st state 242 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,400 Danny: and all that kind of stuff um a lot of canadians are moving either to mexico 243 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:02,040 Danny: or are you choosing that and increasing their visits to mexico they'd always 244 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:05,360 Danny: go to mexico but now they're increasing it and looking to get property there 245 00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,680 Danny: instead of, say, Florida or whatever. 246 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:14,280 Danny: So there does seem to be like a mind shift, a big shift in cultural approaches 247 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:17,260 Danny: to where you go and what you want to do there, etc. 248 00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:18,320 TK: Yeah. 249 00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:23,390 TK: Yeah. And I mean, I mean, I'm in a lot of these Facebook groups. 250 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:26,810 TK: So like you said, you know, like there's there's a mind shift. 251 00:17:27,250 --> 00:17:31,750 TK: But then there's also just so much work to be done, man, because sometimes the 252 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:35,810 TK: Facebook groups, it's like, you know, you can't go play in these people's faces. 253 00:17:35,810 --> 00:17:38,050 TK: You can't go play in in these people's country. 254 00:17:38,270 --> 00:17:44,630 TK: Like it's it's your retirement plan. And you are actively, we are actively driving 255 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:49,250 TK: up prices every time we show up, right? We're doing some, we're actively doing something. 256 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:54,050 TK: So I just find the like, there's a disconnect, I think right now where people 257 00:17:54,050 --> 00:17:59,570 TK: are like, well, I used to come here 10 years ago and the prices were so much more affordable. 258 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:04,450 TK: And I'm like, yeah, like follow that, follow that train of thought, friend, you know? 259 00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:10,970 TK: So, you know, I just want us to be responsible travelers and responsible, 260 00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:15,010 TK: like, relocators, if that's what's going to happen. 261 00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:20,030 TK: So I'm working on it for myself. And when I talk to my friends, 262 00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:23,310 TK: that too, because it's the only way, right? You got to talk to your people. 263 00:18:23,910 --> 00:18:27,210 Danny: Yeah. And I feel as well with the work that you do and the experience that you've 264 00:18:27,210 --> 00:18:30,430 Danny: got, and even the art, your personal work that you're doing, 265 00:18:30,570 --> 00:18:33,070 Danny: you've got so much experience that you can transfer anywhere. 266 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:37,070 Danny: You know so if Mexico is your destination and your your spiritual new home etc 267 00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:41,010 Danny: I feel like you can easily transplant that and then as you mentioned ensure 268 00:18:41,010 --> 00:18:44,330 Danny: that it's being done properly and with respect to the existing cultures and 269 00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:46,450 Danny: and infrastructure etc yeah. 270 00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:48,070 TK: Absolutely no I agree 271 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:52,290 Danny: Awesome well I hope you get there and you let me know uh we'll have to have 272 00:18:52,290 --> 00:18:55,990 Danny: you back on as repeat guests with maybe five featured questions about you know 273 00:18:55,990 --> 00:18:58,150 Danny: your new life and a new setup etc oh. 274 00:18:58,150 --> 00:19:00,270 TK: Yeah absolutely i'll come back anytime 275 00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:03,050 Danny: Awesome awesome but for now 276 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:08,710 Danny: we will keep them random so without further ado let's have a look at question 277 00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:14,250 Danny: number three okay tk here we go and i feel i may have answered this asked this 278 00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:17,470 Danny: before but uh it's always a fun one to pop up so i'm going to ask you anyway 279 00:19:17,470 --> 00:19:22,950 Danny: if that's okay question number three what's the most embarrassing thing that has happened to you. 280 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:38,060 TK: Wow. Okay. So I do public speaking and I'm a podcaster. So this is usually not a problem for me. 281 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,260 TK: But I was super challenged one time. 282 00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:46,620 TK: And I guess I also just hadn't grown into myself. I was a little bit younger, 283 00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:48,280 TK: a little bit new to the scene. 284 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,820 TK: And I used to do a lot of different hip hop shows. 285 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:59,540 TK: And this live band they had invited me to just be with them like they they had this real innovative 286 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:05,380 TK: Way of performing it was called they were called the real live show and they 287 00:20:05,380 --> 00:20:11,860 TK: would perform every Tuesday at this small underground like bar in in New York 288 00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:15,900 TK: City in the Lower East Side so like very cool and their whole theme was like 289 00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:19,680 TK: spaced out hip-hop and they would just invite different guests. 290 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:28,100 TK: And for some reason, I guess I wasn't suited or I'm not suited to like that kind of thing. 291 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:35,020 TK: I'm a speaker. I engaged on this level, not with a backing track or whatever, 292 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:41,340 TK: but this was like human beings playing like the drums, playing the trumpet, playing this. 293 00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:45,180 TK: And then like they had a whole storyline and I 294 00:20:45,180 --> 00:20:48,160 TK: was trying to jump in and I was trying to catch the 295 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,440 TK: beat and I couldn't and I felt all 296 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:55,340 TK: eyes on me I felt so embarrassed I 297 00:20:55,340 --> 00:20:58,780 TK: like somehow I think one of the guys saved me like he jumped in like you know 298 00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:03,720 TK: like every performer can feel when someone else is kind of like not getting 299 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:12,260 TK: it and I had two friends that were there and they all they were friends they 300 00:21:12,260 --> 00:21:14,600 TK: They were not friends with each other anymore, 301 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,800 TK: but they can both tell that I needed help 302 00:21:19,610 --> 00:21:24,910 TK: Something. So we just, they just both walked with me outside without talking to each other. 303 00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:29,710 TK: And I was just like, I'm so, you know, I was just so mad, so embarrassed, 304 00:21:29,950 --> 00:21:33,790 TK: so like, just hurt at like not being good at a thing. 305 00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:39,770 TK: And I don't, I don't recall ever going back. And I kind of regret that. 306 00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:47,030 TK: And I try to do my best these days. And I try to prepare and I try to like, learn new skills. And 307 00:21:47,870 --> 00:21:51,270 TK: You know, so like I've been to freestyle workshops and like, 308 00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:54,190 TK: how do you, you know, I want to be able to jump into a thing. 309 00:21:54,370 --> 00:22:00,990 TK: And I just never want to feel like that again. And I felt that was when I felt most embarrassed. 310 00:22:01,510 --> 00:22:06,570 TK: So maybe I, you know how sometimes you like over process your trauma. 311 00:22:07,770 --> 00:22:12,450 TK: So now I'm like, I'm always like in my mind, I think I'm overprepared. 312 00:22:12,590 --> 00:22:16,050 TK: Right. I've I'm reading books. I'm going to have all the talking points. 313 00:22:16,050 --> 00:22:19,890 TK: It's like, how many ways can an interview go? I'm going to figure out all the ways. 314 00:22:21,650 --> 00:22:28,170 TK: But I definitely think the experience made me better as a performer, 315 00:22:28,170 --> 00:22:33,170 TK: as an interviewer, as a person that's just ready to jump right into something. 316 00:22:33,410 --> 00:22:37,750 TK: But it was a hard lesson to learn. It was hard. 317 00:22:38,170 --> 00:22:41,050 Danny: Well, especially because it's in the public space, right? You've got people 318 00:22:41,050 --> 00:22:45,790 Danny: watching you and seeing you, for want of a better word, crumble almost. 319 00:22:46,050 --> 00:22:49,010 Danny: You know, and confidence evaporate. And I'm wondering, obviously, 320 00:22:49,130 --> 00:22:52,650 Danny: you're a podcaster, you're in the media space, public speaking, 321 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:57,730 Danny: but you feel maybe the problem, if you like, was with podcasts, 322 00:22:57,930 --> 00:22:59,230 Danny: you're driving the narrative, 323 00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:03,610 Danny: you're managing, you know, the interview, the guests, the solo direction. 324 00:23:03,610 --> 00:23:08,650 Danny: With public speaking, again, you're managing the narrative and how you're putting 325 00:23:08,650 --> 00:23:12,230 Danny: points across and when they come out to the audiences in front of you. 326 00:23:12,370 --> 00:23:15,950 Danny: Whereas, obviously, with freestyling or with the, when you get an up like open 327 00:23:15,950 --> 00:23:19,910 Danny: mic almost yeah it's someone else's narrative now so now you're trying to fit 328 00:23:19,910 --> 00:23:22,470 Danny: in and maybe that was where the disconnect was but. 329 00:23:22,470 --> 00:23:25,410 TK: Yeah no I definitely looking back 330 00:23:25,410 --> 00:23:28,190 TK: I definitely think so and it's like this 331 00:23:28,190 --> 00:23:35,630 TK: pressure to fit into someone else's thing and they had been so well integrated 332 00:23:35,630 --> 00:23:42,530 TK: and I think I put too much pressure to be like them instead of be like me because 333 00:23:42,530 --> 00:23:47,390 TK: now I would have probably said, hey, guys, stop. 334 00:23:48,270 --> 00:23:51,650 TK: And let me do a little something like this off the top of my dome, 335 00:23:51,830 --> 00:23:55,610 TK: you know, like and then just like, you know, like maybe and just be and just 336 00:23:55,610 --> 00:23:59,270 TK: accept that I can't catch a beat and just be like, hey, guys, 337 00:23:59,370 --> 00:24:01,330 TK: we're going to stop the space travel for a second. 338 00:24:02,750 --> 00:24:06,030 TK: But y'all are going to still come with me on a journey and I'm going to just 339 00:24:06,030 --> 00:24:07,650 TK: talk and I'm just going to share. 340 00:24:07,830 --> 00:24:11,150 TK: All right, guys, pick it back up and we're back. You know, like, 341 00:24:11,510 --> 00:24:18,310 TK: now I understand that, like, yeah, like, I kind of allowed my agency to be given 342 00:24:18,310 --> 00:24:20,570 TK: away in that moment now that I think about it. 343 00:24:21,130 --> 00:24:24,210 Danny: No, no, and that makes perfect sense. It goes back to your point again about, 344 00:24:24,470 --> 00:24:28,470 Danny: you know, not being able to control something, you know, and putting so much 345 00:24:28,470 --> 00:24:29,950 Danny: emphasis on what you can't control. 346 00:24:30,130 --> 00:24:34,010 Danny: And obviously you can't control the tightness of the band and how they perform. 347 00:24:34,010 --> 00:24:38,690 Danny: That's their stage, that's their, you know, their movements, etc. 348 00:24:38,690 --> 00:24:41,870 Danny: But you can control okay i'm going to take a little bit narrative here 349 00:24:41,870 --> 00:24:44,990 Danny: and insert my own okay let's 350 00:24:44,990 --> 00:24:49,790 Danny: do this and then we can come back to your side yeah um so i feel that that backs 351 00:24:49,790 --> 00:24:53,890 Danny: up your point from earlier you know where it's about now you're older and i 352 00:24:53,890 --> 00:24:57,030 Danny: say that with much respect i'm not saying you're old at all now you're older 353 00:24:57,030 --> 00:25:00,490 Danny: you know that you can understand you can recognize that and how to avoid that 354 00:25:00,490 --> 00:25:02,010 Danny: and overcome it then yeah. 355 00:25:02,010 --> 00:25:05,050 TK: Definitely it's about stopping um 356 00:25:05,050 --> 00:25:07,910 TK: my friend told me a good piece of advice and he does 357 00:25:07,910 --> 00:25:10,930 TK: he did his first TED talk and I recently gave 358 00:25:10,930 --> 00:25:19,090 TK: a speech to like 400 colleagues that I was super like nervous about and he said 359 00:25:19,090 --> 00:25:24,870 TK: when he said when they do a TED talk they make you do it off the top of your 360 00:25:24,870 --> 00:25:29,970 TK: head you cannot there's not a note in sight and that they instruct them, 361 00:25:30,550 --> 00:25:36,510 TK: TED folks instruct the speakers, if you get hung up on something, just stop. 362 00:25:37,650 --> 00:25:41,710 TK: And then it'll come to you. You'll pick it back up. And also for editing, 363 00:25:41,870 --> 00:25:45,250 TK: right? They put a lot of that stuff on YouTube. So they want you to just stop. 364 00:25:45,490 --> 00:25:52,750 TK: So when I gave my speech, nervous as I was, I got to a point where I didn't 365 00:25:52,750 --> 00:25:55,750 TK: know how I was going to deliver it. They just had a stage, a mic, 366 00:25:56,010 --> 00:25:58,230 TK: and I'm just in just the scene. 367 00:25:58,530 --> 00:26:04,730 TK: And I'm looking around and I'm like, okay, chair, table, I got my mic. 368 00:26:05,470 --> 00:26:07,290 TK: No one's done this before. 369 00:26:08,430 --> 00:26:13,990 TK: I decided to set the scene on the stage and take an extra like minute and a 370 00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:17,030 TK: half to bring over the chair, bring over a small table. 371 00:26:17,230 --> 00:26:22,850 TK: And in that minute and a half where I'm setting my scene, I'm building the room, 372 00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:29,010 TK: right? And I'm giving them a setting that is for me and no longer this auditorium setting. 373 00:26:29,310 --> 00:26:33,990 TK: So when I brought the chair over and I got all the things together, 374 00:26:33,990 --> 00:26:36,150 TK: I said, welcome to my bedroom. 375 00:26:37,110 --> 00:26:40,210 TK: I'm going to read from my journal now. And those were my notes. 376 00:26:40,390 --> 00:26:44,690 TK: Right. So that like, yeah, no longer looks like notes and no longer looks like 377 00:26:44,690 --> 00:26:46,410 TK: a person trying to give a talk. 378 00:26:46,610 --> 00:26:51,450 TK: It is you have now been invited to my intimate space. And then when I sat down 379 00:26:51,450 --> 00:26:54,290 TK: in the chair, I felt myself lock in. 380 00:26:54,630 --> 00:26:59,470 TK: And when my friend told me to stop, when I would get to a part where I just 381 00:26:59,470 --> 00:27:01,210 TK: was like, I was just like, 382 00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:05,340 TK: hold on guys, let me turn the page. That was me stopping. Right. 383 00:27:05,460 --> 00:27:11,320 TK: And like, and I think that girl from a couple of weeks ago that gave that speech, 384 00:27:11,540 --> 00:27:16,160 TK: talking to, you know, the, the girl that was freestyling at the restaurant or 385 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:20,440 TK: trying her best, I think they'd have an interesting conversation, you know? 386 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,920 Danny: Yeah. I really liked that approach. It's like you say, 387 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,840 Danny: it's, it's giving you time to take control of the, the environmental situation, 388 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,920 Danny: but it's making people focus on you and what you're doing in 389 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:35,620 Danny: readiness for that so they know okay we have props or you know for one better 390 00:27:35,620 --> 00:27:39,940 Danny: description we have tk on the stage we have these this is my visual cue this 391 00:27:39,940 --> 00:27:43,540 Danny: is what i'm going to focus on so i love that the way you sort of flipped that 392 00:27:43,540 --> 00:27:46,580 Danny: a little bit and made it your space and this is my room this is where i feel 393 00:27:46,580 --> 00:27:49,320 Danny: comfortable now i can talk and let's go let's do this together, 394 00:27:50,300 --> 00:27:54,060 Danny: that is awesome i want to keep that in mind i don't do public speaking but if 395 00:27:54,060 --> 00:27:56,580 Danny: i have to get up in front of the community hall or anything like that for the 396 00:27:56,580 --> 00:27:58,860 Danny: local village where i live yeah i I'm going to keep that in mind. 397 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,520 Danny: I might just pull over like a little fire hydrant or something like that. 398 00:28:01,660 --> 00:28:04,140 Danny: Something weird that they've got to focus on apart from me. 399 00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,600 TK: Yes. And let me know how that goes because it's your community. 400 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:12,140 Danny: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I wish you were to do that. Maybe over the Christmas 401 00:28:12,140 --> 00:28:14,580 Danny: period, they certainly do like a dinner and get everybody together. 402 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:19,360 Danny: So they sometimes get people up there. So I shall definitely for sure let you know on that. 403 00:28:20,060 --> 00:28:23,920 Danny: One thing I do know is it's time for question number four. Are we ready to move 404 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:25,200 Danny: on now with question number four, TK? 405 00:28:25,460 --> 00:28:26,400 TK: Yeah, let's do it. 406 00:28:26,860 --> 00:28:31,120 Danny: Awesome. Okay, I like this because you were just speaking about advice that 407 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,920 Danny: you got. So I like this question, actually. 408 00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:38,060 Danny: Question four, what is the worst advice that you got that you actually listened to? 409 00:28:39,300 --> 00:28:45,380 TK: Ooh, that I actually listened to. Okay. This is going to be a little, 410 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:46,920 TK: it's going to be a little vulnerable. 411 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:53,560 TK: I kind of share this in my podcast, The Secret Life of TK Dutess. 412 00:28:53,820 --> 00:28:59,360 TK: And that first episode is about my journey through burnout or like what happened, right? 413 00:28:59,820 --> 00:29:06,120 TK: And burnout looks a lot of ways and it presents very specifically for Black people, Black women. 414 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,820 TK: And I forget that things. Sometimes when I'm talking to someone I love, 415 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,000 TK: it doesn't matter to me who they are, right? 416 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:17,060 TK: They're black, they're white, it doesn't matter. But I forget that the world 417 00:29:17,060 --> 00:29:20,160 TK: is experienced differently based on who we are. 418 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:27,280 TK: So in the podcast, there's a moment where I'm reflecting on my colleagues, 419 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,060 TK: you know, lovely people. 420 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:32,580 TK: They happen to be white and they're sharing. They're like, TK, they're reflecting. 421 00:29:32,780 --> 00:29:36,020 TK: They're like, this thing that happened to you, it's absolutely crazy. have you 422 00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:39,100 TK: done this that and a third right and I go you know 423 00:29:39,100 --> 00:29:42,260 TK: what let me go do that and then I realized 424 00:29:42,260 --> 00:29:45,220 TK: it it doesn't I go do the thing it doesn't 425 00:29:45,220 --> 00:29:50,940 TK: work for me because the world doesn't experience me like they experience the 426 00:29:50,940 --> 00:29:55,720 TK: world right like my white colleagues have a different experience than me so 427 00:29:55,720 --> 00:30:03,580 TK: I call it taking white advice as a black person you know sometimes it doesn't match. 428 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,020 TK: It doesn't correlate. And I ended up 429 00:30:07,140 --> 00:30:13,460 TK: I ended up feeling worse because I tried something that I didn't realize wasn't 430 00:30:13,460 --> 00:30:17,540 TK: going to work for me because the advice was given to me by someone I loved. 431 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:23,720 TK: So I went and I tried it, but I forgot to factor in our differences and how the world looks at us. 432 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:32,580 TK: So it kind of made me sad and a little bit alienated me from my friends because 433 00:30:32,580 --> 00:30:39,920 TK: I was scared to tell them stuff and I was scared to receive advice that I then 434 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:43,640 TK: would be overcritical of because I think, well, this is not going to work for me, whatever, 435 00:30:43,780 --> 00:30:48,820 TK: you know, or that also that they didn't see it, that it wouldn't work for me, right? 436 00:30:48,820 --> 00:30:54,420 TK: That because it worked for you, they weren't realizing that it wouldn't work for me. 437 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:58,440 TK: And that kind of made me feel like, man, maybe they don't know me. 438 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:04,540 TK: Maybe they don't see me. And maybe now I'm going down the road. 439 00:31:04,660 --> 00:31:08,640 TK: When I say worry less, I wish I could worry less. 440 00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:11,440 TK: But it's kind of like the cards have been dealt. 441 00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:15,920 TK: And these are the things that go through my mind. And so anyway, 442 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:19,280 TK: all that to say is it's not like a piece of advice. 443 00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:25,960 TK: It's it's just a tough, a tough thing, a tough difference that I've had to, like, realize. 444 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:31,020 TK: And now I have to you kind of have to do it with everybody. Right. 445 00:31:31,140 --> 00:31:32,860 TK: So, you know, what did you take? 446 00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:37,540 TK: Would you take dental advice from a dentist with messed up teeth? No. 447 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,420 TK: Like, you know, so now I kind of have to look at the world like, 448 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:42,580 TK: OK, well, who's talking? 449 00:31:43,300 --> 00:31:45,560 TK: And I kind of also would love to 450 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:51,500 TK: ask the world before they say stuff to recognize who they're talking to, 451 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:56,220 TK: you know, and I think a lot of people with chronic illness could probably relate 452 00:31:56,220 --> 00:31:59,300 TK: in a way that like people give them unsolicited advice. 453 00:31:59,580 --> 00:32:03,940 TK: They go, have you tried yoga? Have you stretched? Have you drank this mushroom 454 00:32:03,940 --> 00:32:06,140 TK: tea? And these people are like, I'm in pain. 455 00:32:07,210 --> 00:32:11,930 TK: Recognize that i'm in pain so it's kind of like that i don't know you know and 456 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:15,830 TK: i hope i'm i'm correlating it properly but for me i feel like there's different 457 00:32:15,830 --> 00:32:18,690 TK: populations that can like understand that 458 00:32:18,690 --> 00:32:21,570 Danny: 100 and i know i can 459 00:32:21,570 --> 00:32:24,290 Danny: here's a certainly smaller example my 460 00:32:24,290 --> 00:32:27,250 Danny: wife and she suffers from mental she suffers from 461 00:32:27,250 --> 00:32:30,330 Danny: depression and anxiety and she has done since she's 20 462 00:32:30,330 --> 00:32:32,990 Danny: years old and one of her old employers one of her old 463 00:32:32,990 --> 00:32:35,630 Danny: bosses said well if you try yoga that'll make you 464 00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:38,410 Danny: feel better it's like but not being in that not being 465 00:32:38,410 --> 00:32:41,270 Danny: in the same position uh you know as my wife who's 466 00:32:41,270 --> 00:32:44,210 Danny: got these issues and how she deals with them um and and 467 00:32:44,210 --> 00:32:47,310 Danny: to your point tk it's even the 468 00:32:47,310 --> 00:32:52,990 Danny: most like well-intentioned ally unless they're living the experience of the 469 00:32:52,990 --> 00:32:57,430 Danny: person they're trying to be an ally for can never give the that the right advice 470 00:32:57,430 --> 00:33:01,930 Danny: they can give advice maybe but as you see unless it's lived it could never be 471 00:33:01,930 --> 00:33:04,310 Danny: the the right advice i feel yeah. 472 00:33:04,310 --> 00:33:07,230 TK: There's that barrier you know 473 00:33:07,230 --> 00:33:10,570 TK: like we can knock that barrier down but 474 00:33:10,570 --> 00:33:13,210 TK: like and also like knowing and because i also want to be 475 00:33:13,210 --> 00:33:16,850 TK: very clear that there are some people that that have your experience that 476 00:33:16,850 --> 00:33:20,330 TK: will give you absolutely crap advice 477 00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:24,270 TK: um so there's that but i 478 00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:27,470 TK: think we all have to just be like it comes with just recognizing 479 00:33:27,470 --> 00:33:30,350 TK: who a person is and the body they're living in that 480 00:33:30,350 --> 00:33:36,610 TK: that actually counts you know like that means something and I think my disappointment 481 00:33:36,610 --> 00:33:44,530 TK: came from not realizing that sooner and then feeling hurt that they didn't see 482 00:33:44,530 --> 00:33:48,830 TK: it right you know so when you talk about your wife you know like yeah like 483 00:33:49,750 --> 00:33:55,330 TK: It's like, don't you see, like, I'm going through something and this doesn't help me at all. 484 00:33:55,510 --> 00:33:59,890 TK: You know, like, ask me what I need and then, like, let's talk, you know. So, yeah. 485 00:34:00,970 --> 00:34:03,770 Danny: And I was going to ask you that. What is your sort of approach to that then 486 00:34:03,770 --> 00:34:09,730 Danny: where you can maybe see that people are trying to help, but they're doing the 487 00:34:09,730 --> 00:34:12,030 Danny: opposite almost because they're not in your shoes. 488 00:34:12,030 --> 00:34:14,950 Danny: They don't know exactly what you're going through, what you need at that time. 489 00:34:14,950 --> 00:34:19,110 Danny: Do you try and, like, steer them or give them advice? 490 00:34:19,270 --> 00:34:21,430 Danny: Or do you, like, what's your approach? 491 00:34:22,570 --> 00:34:26,230 TK: Now I try to, you know, well, now that I have it in my mind, 492 00:34:26,390 --> 00:34:28,650 TK: like, I have an example of, like, this thing. 493 00:34:29,310 --> 00:34:34,630 TK: I try to stop it before it continues. I go, oh, no, I promise you that's not 494 00:34:34,630 --> 00:34:37,350 TK: going to work for me. I've tried that already. 495 00:34:38,210 --> 00:34:44,450 TK: What I need is X. And then I'm, you got to be prepared to ask for something 496 00:34:44,450 --> 00:34:50,890 TK: and be direct nowadays because if you leave it up to folks, it's just whatever their experience is. 497 00:34:51,150 --> 00:34:54,230 TK: So yoga might be the thing for that person. And you just say, 498 00:34:54,330 --> 00:35:00,010 TK: so now I'm like, okay, so, you know, when I've been in my down depression times 499 00:35:00,010 --> 00:35:05,330 TK: and, you know, I've said to people, I could use a snack for, 500 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:11,060 TK: I could use some time alone. Maybe you won't be able to get back to you till Tuesday. 501 00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:16,040 TK: I could use this thing. So if it's a workplace thing, which a lot of my stuff 502 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:20,320 TK: was at the time or the source of a lot of my stuff and like it's friends and 503 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:21,340 TK: colleagues trying to give me 504 00:35:21,340 --> 00:35:25,360 TK: workplace advice, if they work with me directly, I would say eventually, 505 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:26,920 TK: hey, love that. 506 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:32,180 TK: What I really need from you is, you know, when we're in the meeting and that 507 00:35:32,180 --> 00:35:36,200 TK: thing happens, can you like back me up Or can you, like, reiterate, 508 00:35:36,580 --> 00:35:39,480 TK: can you, like, throw the question back to me so I could repeat myself? 509 00:35:39,660 --> 00:35:43,460 TK: Because I feel like this thing is happening to me a very specific way. 510 00:35:43,620 --> 00:35:47,900 TK: So sometimes you literally have to spell it out to folks. You can't bank on 511 00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:49,780 TK: folks reading your mind, you know? 512 00:35:50,180 --> 00:35:54,100 Danny: Yeah. I mean, hopefully. But I would imagine, though, like, friends, 513 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,660 Danny: close friends especially, appreciate that approach, too, where, 514 00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:59,600 Danny: you know, now they know how to help. 515 00:36:00,380 --> 00:36:03,820 Danny: And maybe they felt bad about trying to help and then making you feel worse 516 00:36:03,820 --> 00:36:06,460 Danny: as well. So now they're hopefully more cognizant about, okay, 517 00:36:06,540 --> 00:36:10,140 Danny: let's really listen to what TK needs and let's make that happen. 518 00:36:10,980 --> 00:36:11,700 TK: Yeah, definitely. 519 00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:15,680 Danny: That is awesome advice. And again, I'm really bad at speaking directly. 520 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:21,380 Danny: It must be the Libra side of me where you're meant to balance the air crap out. So I will try. 521 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:27,120 TK: Yeah, say it when you go to your community meeting. What do you want for this fire hydrant now? 522 00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:32,420 Danny: Yeah, exactly. I need it hosed up or just ornamental there. Yeah, 523 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,180 Danny: I like it. I will do that. Do that for sure. 524 00:36:35,860 --> 00:36:39,520 Danny: All right, well, TK, we're almost there. Let's have a look then at question 525 00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,660 Danny: number five to bring you home. 526 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,860 Danny: Okay, question number five, and I like this one to ease things out for the end 527 00:36:45,860 --> 00:36:47,120 Danny: of the five random questions. 528 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:51,540 Danny: So, TK, number five, tell me about your dream house. 529 00:36:52,420 --> 00:36:56,460 TK: Dream house. Okay, TK's dream house. 530 00:36:57,690 --> 00:37:04,110 TK: I really love one of my next hobbies in life or my next career or my next whatever 531 00:37:04,110 --> 00:37:09,350 TK: comes to me because I seem to be amassing a ton of hobbies as this life goes on. 532 00:37:09,530 --> 00:37:18,810 TK: And as I try to like heal and do things that are outside of the norm is I love mid-century design. 533 00:37:20,450 --> 00:37:24,710 TK: And I would firstly, I would just love a fixer upper to fix up. 534 00:37:24,710 --> 00:37:30,590 TK: I think there's another part of me that's going to be like an interior decorator 535 00:37:30,590 --> 00:37:32,750 TK: or some type of like that kind of person. 536 00:37:33,590 --> 00:37:37,370 TK: A lot of the stuff in my current place is like found, found from the street, 537 00:37:37,610 --> 00:37:42,950 TK: found from friends, found from Facebook Marketplace. And so I would love like 538 00:37:42,950 --> 00:37:48,210 TK: a house that kind of blends contemporary modern design, right? 539 00:37:48,330 --> 00:37:56,690 TK: Like modern convenience with stability of like old stuff, you know, 540 00:37:56,790 --> 00:38:01,010 TK: like the refrigerators used to, they don't break, right? 541 00:38:01,010 --> 00:38:04,350 TK: Like they didn't use to break and like inside a refrigerator, 542 00:38:04,350 --> 00:38:08,030 TK: like back in the day, I don't know how back maybe the fifties, 543 00:38:09,110 --> 00:38:11,730 TK: They used to have like a giant lazy Susan. 544 00:38:11,870 --> 00:38:16,910 TK: So you can get the food and turn it and see the food. I think that's so like, 545 00:38:17,930 --> 00:38:21,410 TK: mind-blowing um so i'd get myself an 546 00:38:21,410 --> 00:38:24,410 TK: old fridge i'd get myself an old stove because they 547 00:38:24,410 --> 00:38:27,170 TK: thought the future they thought they were they thought they 548 00:38:27,170 --> 00:38:31,910 TK: were forecasting the future um in like the 50s and 60s so like the the stove 549 00:38:31,910 --> 00:38:35,690 TK: would have four different compartments you could make pancakes and a roast at 550 00:38:35,690 --> 00:38:40,210 TK: the same time and i'm not saying i'm any suzy homemaker at all but if there's 551 00:38:40,210 --> 00:38:46,970 TK: an opportunity to make bacon and like a fried fish at the same time i'm gonna take it so like 552 00:38:47,530 --> 00:38:50,450 TK: i would like some like appliances that are 553 00:38:50,450 --> 00:38:55,650 TK: old and stable that i'd never have to like change but of course i would love 554 00:38:55,650 --> 00:38:59,250 TK: to like of course like use a remote control to like control my air you know 555 00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:04,290 TK: so that's what i mean about like that and then like some just like cool furniture 556 00:39:04,290 --> 00:39:08,630 TK: with like bright colors like i want to get i want us to get away from beige 557 00:39:08,630 --> 00:39:10,170 TK: i want us to get away from brown. 558 00:39:11,130 --> 00:39:12,630 TK: Brown is cool, actually. 559 00:39:13,610 --> 00:39:16,950 TK: Beige and these weird millennial gray. 560 00:39:17,430 --> 00:39:21,490 TK: No, I just want us to be open to colors and wallpaper again. 561 00:39:21,750 --> 00:39:30,190 TK: And when you walk into your house, people say, oh, these people are living. 562 00:39:31,250 --> 00:39:35,190 TK: This is not just ornamental. I come from a people. My people are Caribbean. 563 00:39:35,290 --> 00:39:39,750 TK: And I think more than just Caribbean people can relate to the plastic on the 564 00:39:39,750 --> 00:39:42,550 TK: furniture and that room you don't go in. 565 00:39:42,710 --> 00:39:46,450 TK: And I love my mom, but she's still, she does it now. 566 00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:50,450 TK: Like there's places you don't sit. There's places you don't touch. 567 00:39:50,770 --> 00:39:55,750 TK: I want to live in it. I want to get the cool couch and I want to put my feet 568 00:39:55,750 --> 00:39:58,690 TK: all over it. I want it to be bright. 569 00:39:59,010 --> 00:40:01,590 TK: I want rooms to have different kinds of wallpaper. 570 00:40:01,930 --> 00:40:06,090 TK: My dream house is the dream house that I can design that has like 571 00:40:07,060 --> 00:40:14,200 TK: amazing uh just comforts a space like to make art um a space for whoever i'm 572 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,720 TK: living with my chosen family to have their interests like to do their like art 573 00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:26,520 TK: craft or whatever and then like cool like appliances from the past yeah i 574 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:29,160 Danny: Like it's like the jetson appliances right where you got the 575 00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:31,820 Danny: future but they all sort of almost like the fantastic four as well 576 00:40:31,820 --> 00:40:35,320 Danny: the most recent movie but had that yes i'm curious 577 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,020 Danny: you mentioned obviously the dream house would be get a fixer upper and then 578 00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:41,300 Danny: infuse it with these different you know items and different styles and approaches 579 00:40:41,300 --> 00:40:44,680 Danny: you've been in a lot of countries um that are very different from each other 580 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:48,840 Danny: different cultures is there something you pull from one of the countries or 581 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:52,220 Danny: two of the countries or whatever that you you feel i must have that if i had 582 00:40:52,220 --> 00:40:55,860 Danny: a dream house i could do whatever i wanted i'd grab that from there. 583 00:40:55,860 --> 00:40:58,800 TK: Yeah um i would say okay all 584 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,960 TK: the color stuff i'm definitely thinking mexico um 585 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,080 TK: the color and then just 586 00:41:05,080 --> 00:41:08,720 TK: the the are all the art like all the handicrafts 587 00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:11,620 TK: and all the those would be hanging in my house um 588 00:41:11,620 --> 00:41:17,820 TK: the efficiency model that like japan has a lot of efficiency going for it so 589 00:41:17,820 --> 00:41:23,020 TK: definitely would pull from that i have a thing for some of the small objects 590 00:41:23,020 --> 00:41:28,660 TK: i make um like like plates and stuff like that like i think of you know like 591 00:41:28,660 --> 00:41:30,120 TK: there's always a plate with, 592 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:33,100 TK: you know, y'all had the queen and I guess y'all have the king now. 593 00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:37,920 TK: There's always a plate with a location or a royal on it. 594 00:41:38,060 --> 00:41:42,200 TK: I love those kind of like effects in a home. 595 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,720 TK: I think we just shouldn't be shy about that stuff. 596 00:41:45,980 --> 00:41:48,800 TK: And like wherever we go, bring some of it back. 597 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:54,420 TK: I'm very big into when I go somewhere, how do I make it home for me so that 598 00:41:54,420 --> 00:41:58,440 TK: I can feel cozy? But when I come back home, what am I taking out of my suitcase 599 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:02,760 TK: to remind me that like, man, that was amazing. 600 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,860 TK: Tapestry, Japanese tapestry is beautiful. 601 00:42:07,260 --> 00:42:11,800 TK: And then I do end up having too many little things, but I don't care. I don't care. 602 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,500 TK: Throw it all the way when I'm all gone. I don't care. 603 00:42:16,020 --> 00:42:18,500 Danny: Yeah, and it's like you say, it's lived, right? It's a lived experience. 604 00:42:18,720 --> 00:42:21,360 Danny: It's not like the, that can't be touched because that's pristine. 605 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,640 Danny: That's got to remain pristine. Like the best china, you can never use that for 606 00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:26,800 Danny: tea or coffee or whatever, right? You can't do that. 607 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:31,820 Danny: But I'm guessing one thing you won't have in your dream house is a kimono fitting closet. 608 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:37,520 TK: No. They're not going to tie me up again. I can't do it. I can't do it 609 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,660 Danny: I try we'll not be bringing we'll not be bringing that in from Japan not at 610 00:42:40,660 --> 00:42:43,980 Danny: all that is awesome well again if you do have that, 611 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:48,580 Danny: please share photographs you know I'd love to see that that's awesome and it's 612 00:42:48,580 --> 00:42:51,780 Danny: nice to hear your approach to what a dream home would be because sometimes you 613 00:42:51,780 --> 00:42:54,740 Danny: can get people that would be oh it'd be a massive mansion pool gardeners and 614 00:42:54,740 --> 00:42:59,360 Danny: all that cool stuff which nothing wrong with that but I like the lived and approach where it's, 615 00:42:59,860 --> 00:43:03,360 Danny: real about this is my experience this is my life and this is you're going to 616 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:05,820 Danny: be comfortable no matter who you are and you come to visit me you're going to 617 00:43:05,820 --> 00:43:06,920 Danny: be comfortable which I love. 618 00:43:07,260 --> 00:43:11,960 TK: Walk with your shoes. Well, shoes off, guys. Sorry. But I will have socks for 619 00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:13,960 TK: people. Oh, and I will say one thing, Danny. 620 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:20,120 TK: You know, like there's a plague of the front lawn is like, I think the biggest 621 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:23,820 TK: thing, the biggest plague in housing in America, right? 622 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:28,060 TK: A waste of space and a way to take us away from our communities like this, 623 00:43:28,180 --> 00:43:31,580 TK: the green, pristine front lawn. 624 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,800 TK: And I would just, oh, I would, I would probably make some people mad. 625 00:43:35,900 --> 00:43:37,280 TK: I would just start planting food. 626 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:41,720 TK: I would plant food for people to, you know, if you see it and, 627 00:43:41,980 --> 00:43:45,200 TK: you know, I'd put a little sign for my neighbors, take what you want, 628 00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:47,060 TK: leave me, leave me like three, 629 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,840 TK: you know, take what you want, leave me three, come up on the porch, 630 00:43:50,940 --> 00:43:55,800 TK: get some herbs, like, leave me a little bit, but, oh, I would love to rip up 631 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,180 TK: a front lawn and make it into a little garden. Yeah. 632 00:43:59,940 --> 00:44:03,400 Danny: I hear you now. We used to live in a, close to Toronto, actually, 633 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:04,940 Danny: we used to live before the kids were born. 634 00:44:05,420 --> 00:44:08,920 Danny: And it was always the same thing. It was like pristine lawns and a lot of wedges, etc. 635 00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:12,460 Danny: And we moved to a little village six years ago, back to 2019, 636 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:13,860 Danny: just before the pandemic, actually. 637 00:44:14,820 --> 00:44:18,600 Danny: And one of the things I really enjoyed is the fact that we've rewilded, 638 00:44:18,620 --> 00:44:21,280 Danny: we'll just let the place go to the crap, if you like. 639 00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:25,880 Danny: And because of that, it's a huge wilderness ecosystem now. You've got different 640 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:27,900 Danny: birds, critters, all that, and it's amazing. 641 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:32,820 Danny: So yeah, I'm 100% on you. I used to be that person that wanted the yard to look 642 00:44:32,820 --> 00:44:37,100 Danny: really nice, trim it down, get it to a certain height with the grass, etc. Uh-uh, no more. 643 00:44:37,580 --> 00:44:42,740 TK: Nah, there's so many, there's so much little joys in what you can find in a 644 00:44:42,740 --> 00:44:46,420 TK: yard now. And I also learned that from a friend of mine who, 645 00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:49,700 TK: she was a podcaster, and now she does farming. 646 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:56,940 TK: Like, she has a flower farm in Indianapolis, and she, that's what she does. 647 00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:03,520 TK: And she walked me through Millennium Garden in Chicago. 648 00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:07,740 TK: She walked me through and showed me their area, which just like you described, 649 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:12,200 TK: like your your home now has like just like all these this cool wildlife and 650 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,540 TK: different like stuff growing. 651 00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:18,000 TK: She's like, yeah, so they did this on purpose. 652 00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:23,140 TK: And people think that in the winter, you know, it looks overgrown and it's brown. 653 00:45:23,300 --> 00:45:26,020 TK: And then she explained every part of that ecosystem. She's like, 654 00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:32,420 TK: it's brown because like it's in it's hibernating. And underneath all these leaves 655 00:45:32,420 --> 00:45:35,640 TK: that you think are dead are bugs that are feeding the soil. 656 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:39,840 TK: And in the spring, they'll come back, but we won't cut it per se. 657 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,940 TK: We're going to let it like, and I'm like, man, this is blowing my mind. 658 00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:50,040 TK: And I'm like, man, if we could just all be more open to like that as a thing 659 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:53,900 TK: for our gardens, but also like a thing for our lives. There's a season. There's a reason. 660 00:45:54,140 --> 00:45:59,040 TK: There's something that's feeding you from the inside that you won't even get to like. 661 00:45:59,970 --> 00:46:01,930 TK: See bare fruit till later and 662 00:46:01,930 --> 00:46:06,050 TK: i hope that that our lives that we can like kind of tap into that you know 663 00:46:06,050 --> 00:46:12,430 Danny: I as mentioned i 100 agree and i think that's a perfect segue into the end of 664 00:46:12,430 --> 00:46:15,950 Danny: your time on the random hot seat so i really appreciate that tk i love that 665 00:46:15,950 --> 00:46:20,270 Danny: answer as is only fair i had you on the hot seat for about 40 minutes or so 666 00:46:20,270 --> 00:46:24,490 Danny: now uh so it's only fair to hand over the question baton to you okay. 667 00:46:24,490 --> 00:46:31,430 TK: So um with my podcast i'm i'm kind of going through my healing process and seeing 668 00:46:31,430 --> 00:46:37,490 TK: what's on the other side and it's a journey so i'm asking other people because 669 00:46:37,490 --> 00:46:39,970 TK: also i think other people feel very um 670 00:46:40,830 --> 00:46:45,190 TK: People that have given me feedback, they feel very empowered to share with me 671 00:46:45,190 --> 00:46:50,770 TK: what went wrong for them, what the cause of their burnout was. And I'm like, thank you. 672 00:46:51,530 --> 00:46:53,210 TK: Appreciate that. Not your therapist. 673 00:46:54,510 --> 00:46:58,130 TK: However, I am interested in hearing how you're healing. 674 00:46:58,570 --> 00:47:03,210 TK: So, Danny, how are you healing? And it doesn't matter what from. 675 00:47:03,630 --> 00:47:08,230 TK: And it doesn't matter what size or what level of healing. How are you healing? 676 00:47:08,870 --> 00:47:13,390 Danny: No, no, I appreciate that. And I think it ties into the move that we made, 677 00:47:13,490 --> 00:47:14,690 Danny: as I mentioned, six years ago. 678 00:47:14,950 --> 00:47:19,190 Danny: We lived in a big city. It wasn't Toronto, but it was a city quite big. 679 00:47:19,410 --> 00:47:23,750 Danny: There was a lot of people there, lots of great buildings and stuff. I worked at an agency. 680 00:47:24,270 --> 00:47:26,630 Danny: Agency life can be demanding. 681 00:47:27,670 --> 00:47:30,030 Danny: And it was a long commute. It was two hours there, two hours back. 682 00:47:30,190 --> 00:47:33,370 Danny: So I had young kids that were five, six at the time, really young. 683 00:47:33,630 --> 00:47:36,350 Danny: So I wasn't seeing them in the mornings. I'd left by the time they got up. 684 00:47:36,490 --> 00:47:39,390 Danny: And they'd had dinner by the time we got home. And it was almost time for bed. 685 00:47:39,890 --> 00:47:43,170 Danny: So there's a lot of stuff going on and it was just burnout burnout burnout and 686 00:47:43,170 --> 00:47:48,890 Danny: I there was one morning where I sort of I was on the bus at the train station 687 00:47:48,890 --> 00:47:52,270 Danny: getting ready to go on the train to Toronto to do my job and I couldn't go forward 688 00:47:52,270 --> 00:47:54,370 Danny: I couldn't work and basically I had a breakdown, 689 00:47:54,910 --> 00:47:57,730 Danny: and my wife as I mentioned she's very experienced with 690 00:47:57,730 --> 00:48:00,830 Danny: mental wellness she had a podcast for a while about her journey 691 00:48:00,830 --> 00:48:04,590 Danny: so she had me on to speak about that and my diagnosis and I 692 00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:07,390 Danny: got a lot of good treatment with um a specialist place you 693 00:48:07,390 --> 00:48:10,250 Danny: know where we lived at the time so that was awesome and it 694 00:48:10,250 --> 00:48:13,010 Danny: made me realize that i had 695 00:48:13,010 --> 00:48:15,710 Danny: to step back and get out of that environment so i 696 00:48:15,710 --> 00:48:19,050 Danny: guess my healing from a wellness point of view and from just 697 00:48:19,050 --> 00:48:22,430 Danny: a nicer place to be in here 698 00:48:22,430 --> 00:48:25,310 Danny: and for the listeners i'm pointing to my head because we're 699 00:48:25,310 --> 00:48:30,150 Danny: not you know doing video um was moving you know to a really small village there's 700 00:48:30,150 --> 00:48:34,710 Danny: only 800 families here it's a very small place um there's a lovely lake about 701 00:48:34,710 --> 00:48:38,550 Danny: a 15 minute walk from our house so you can go there and kayak and swim in the 702 00:48:38,550 --> 00:48:42,630 Danny: summer and all that cool stuff and it freezes in the winter you can walk over it to one of the islands. 703 00:48:43,440 --> 00:48:46,740 Danny: It's a nice place. It's a nice, quiet. It suits me. 704 00:48:46,980 --> 00:48:51,300 Danny: And it's really, you know, people that I used to hang out with in the old place 705 00:48:51,300 --> 00:48:55,120 Danny: where I lived know the difference in me when I speak to them on the phone or 706 00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,700 Danny: go visit, you know, for holidays or whatever. 707 00:48:58,020 --> 00:49:02,240 Danny: So I feel that that's my healing is I had to have that breakdown, 708 00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:04,460 Danny: if you like, and then realize why it was happening. 709 00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:09,440 Danny: And then, OK, what do we do? Let's move to a quieter place and start afresh almost. Wow. 710 00:49:09,740 --> 00:49:14,700 TK: And just real quick, how did it feel? Was it scary to start over in another 711 00:49:14,700 --> 00:49:17,480 TK: place, which was totally different from this big city? 712 00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:21,660 Danny: It was super scary because you've got a whole different way of life to think 713 00:49:21,660 --> 00:49:25,060 Danny: about. So you have to prep your home for winter because the winter's here last five months. 714 00:49:26,100 --> 00:49:30,700 Danny: We live in a well. I never lived in a well before. So if that runs out because 715 00:49:30,700 --> 00:49:33,120 Danny: of the hot weather, you've got problems. 716 00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:38,480 Danny: We live on a septic so that manages all the waste and everything and you've 717 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:42,600 Danny: got to manage that every so often so there's a whole bunch of things that you 718 00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:47,080 Danny: had to completely change that took getting used to and then the kids pulling 719 00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:51,040 Danny: the kids out of school sort of halfway through the year to move up here in the 720 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,800 Danny: winter it was a big change but, 721 00:49:54,830 --> 00:49:59,210 Danny: We can't imagine doing anything differently now. So it was scary and it took 722 00:49:59,210 --> 00:50:03,770 Danny: us a while to get into the mindset of going from a way up here city-wise to 723 00:50:03,770 --> 00:50:07,050 Danny: a way down here village-wise and all that entailed. So, yeah, 724 00:50:07,290 --> 00:50:08,610 Danny: it was definitely scary. 725 00:50:09,290 --> 00:50:14,390 Danny: I think, weirdly enough, the pandemic helped because we moved November 2019 726 00:50:14,390 --> 00:50:16,770 Danny: and then March 2020, the world closed down, basically. 727 00:50:17,230 --> 00:50:21,030 Danny: So that gave us time to adapt and learn what we had to learn, etc. et cetera. 728 00:50:21,150 --> 00:50:24,950 Danny: So by the time the world kind of opened back up, all right, this is what we do. 729 00:50:25,070 --> 00:50:28,450 Danny: Now we need to make friends and such as, and, you know, integrate ourselves 730 00:50:28,450 --> 00:50:30,730 Danny: to the community. And that, that kind of helped, I think. 731 00:50:31,290 --> 00:50:33,190 TK: Yeah. You guys tippy-toed into it. 732 00:50:33,710 --> 00:50:36,390 Danny: Yeah. As opposed to just arriving and going, you know, gung-ho, 733 00:50:36,510 --> 00:50:39,050 Danny: hey, we're from the city, let's do this. And that would have been awful. 734 00:50:39,310 --> 00:50:42,290 Danny: That would have been awful. So yeah, it worked out that way for sure. 735 00:50:42,810 --> 00:50:44,930 TK: Awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. 736 00:50:45,230 --> 00:50:48,170 Danny: No, thank you for the question. I really appreciate it. And, 737 00:50:48,190 --> 00:50:52,230 Danny: and, you know, it's, It's like you say, it just goes back to all you promote 738 00:50:52,230 --> 00:50:55,730 Danny: as well, you know, taking the time, knowing yourself and being there for yourself. 739 00:50:55,890 --> 00:50:57,790 Danny: So I appreciate that question, DK. Thank you. 740 00:50:58,210 --> 00:50:59,090 TK: Yeah, I'm glad to. 741 00:50:59,450 --> 00:51:05,090 Danny: So I really enjoyed chatting to you and hearing your answers and hearing the vulnerabilities. 742 00:51:05,370 --> 00:51:09,570 Danny: For people that want to learn more about A, the podcast that you have, 743 00:51:10,010 --> 00:51:14,790 Danny: B, you're speaking, C, the cool R and all the other amazing stuff that you do. 744 00:51:15,190 --> 00:51:18,450 Danny: Where's the best place to A, connect or listen, etc.? 745 00:51:18,450 --> 00:51:23,490 TK: Yes. Everything is on tastyquiche.com. 746 00:51:23,630 --> 00:51:27,850 TK: That is what the TK stands for. That was my original, very, very original early 747 00:51:27,850 --> 00:51:31,090 TK: days radio name when I was on broadcast. 748 00:51:31,810 --> 00:51:37,410 TK: And tastyquiche.com and different tabs will take you to different places. 749 00:51:37,410 --> 00:51:40,730 TK: The podcast is up there called The Secret Life of T.K. 750 00:51:40,830 --> 00:51:46,770 TK: Dutess, and it is an experiment. It's nonlinear, you know, so sometimes we'll 751 00:51:46,770 --> 00:51:48,510 TK: be on a journey of the mind. 752 00:51:48,710 --> 00:51:54,510 TK: Sometimes we'll be on location and sometimes we'll be just in the world talking to each other. 753 00:51:55,610 --> 00:52:00,090 TK: Super glad to be here. And I'm so very, very thankful, Danny. I appreciate you. 754 00:52:00,670 --> 00:52:03,790 Danny: You're welcome. And I appreciate you being here. And I will leave all the links 755 00:52:03,790 --> 00:52:05,650 Danny: to that in the show notes as always. 756 00:52:05,830 --> 00:52:09,030 Danny: So whatever app you're listening on or if you're listening on the Five Random 757 00:52:09,030 --> 00:52:12,450 Danny: Questions website, the episode show notes will have a link over to the website. 758 00:52:12,650 --> 00:52:16,190 Danny: And you can catch all the amazing stuff that TK does there. And please do check 759 00:52:16,190 --> 00:52:20,010 Danny: out the art section. There's some really, really cool, very nice stuff there. 760 00:52:20,270 --> 00:52:23,770 Danny: So again, TK, thank you for appearing on today's Five Random Questions. 761 00:52:24,370 --> 00:52:25,330 TK: Awesome. Thank you. 762 00:52:26,670 --> 00:52:30,690 Danny: Thanks for listening to five random questions if you enjoyed this week's episode 763 00:52:30,690 --> 00:52:33,330 Danny: i'd love for you to leave a review on the app you're currently listening on 764 00:52:33,330 --> 00:52:38,050 Danny: or over at five random questions.com forward slash review and if you know someone 765 00:52:38,050 --> 00:52:41,450 Danny: else that would enjoy the show be sure to send them this way it's very much 766 00:52:41,450 --> 00:52:44,770 Danny: appreciated until the next time keep asking those questions.