Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

spending some time with you today. I hope you feel good, I

hope that you feel safe and motivated and encouraged, loved.

And if you do not feel all these good feelings, I hope that this

episode is gonna make you feel understood is gonna support you

through whatever you're going through right now and just make

you feel less alone at the same time. First of all, I want to

thank the people who have donated to the podcast who have

bought me a coffee, so to say, I'm so endlessly grateful for

you. And yeah, as you know, this podcast is supposed to stay

advertisement free, without interruptions. And the only way

I can do this is with your support. So by just donating a

couple bucks a month. That's huge support already. So thank

you so much. For the people out there who have supported the

podcast this month. This is incredible. And so very grateful

for you. Today, I want to talk about triggers, I learned

something really important yesterday, and I have to share

with you right away, I just can't help but sharing with you

here on my podcast. And this is another reason why I love

podcasting so much because I can talk about whatever I want to.

And yeah, it's just very liberating and therapeutic. And

at the same time, if I can just help one person out there in

this beautiful world, it makes me feel Yeah, very good, as if I

can contribute something beautiful to this world. So we

talk about triggers. And there is internal triggers. And there

is external triggers. And the way that you can see and notice

that your trigger is coming from within would be that the same

trigger wouldn't trigger another person. I'm going to give you

examples here in a moment. Don't you worry if it sounds too

complicated, but when it comes to external trigger, it could be

a forest fire, it could be an earthquake, all the people who

are being affected by the earthquakes that to say, are

triggered with an outside trigger. So they all pretty much

behave the same yet some you know, freak out some run away,

some are paralyzed and anxious. But they all react to one

external trigger. Now let's zoom into this beautiful world and

see a family at a family dinner. And there's one person who keeps

making jokes, who keeps you know, distributing rip shots, to

the people around them. And everybody's laughing and having

fun except one person, one person feels triggered. Now what

distinguishes that one person when you compare him or her to

the other people who are not feeling traded, what is

different in that person? And what I've learned yesterday is

that throughout your life, from when you're being born, until

now, you accumulate thoughts and belief systems about yourself

and the world and the people around you. You maybe are part

of a religion. Maybe you have, you know, a very specific

mindset about the world. Maybe you went through experiences

that jaded you in one way or another and in a nutshell, we

call that you have filters and these filters you are looking

through when you look into the outside world So it can be that

the person who is feeling triggered at the family dinner,

went through pain, suffering experiences that were not healed

yet. And the other person who's making jokes and distributing

rep shots, they're just doing their thing. They're just doing

their thing that they always do. And they are not aware that this

person is being triggered. And maybe they are aware and do it

on purpose. But maybe they don't understand why the person would

feel triggered by what you know, by the jokes that are being

said, because everybody else is laughing. So it is very

difficult for the people around you to understand why you are

being triggered by certain things. And this is why it's so

incredibly important to know yourself and to know your

triggers. So that when the anger is being ignited, or whatever

reaction you have, when you're feeling triggered, some people

are angry, some people, like explode, others shut down or run

away or become avoidant, or Stonewall. Whatever it is, that

comes up for you, you need to know why. What is it that needs

your attention. And the beauty in this is that you don't need

the other person, like, trust me, the people outside of your

bubble. In this world, they they're gonna keep triggering

you, this is never gonna stop, you can start building a casa

around your heart and around yourself and try to protect

yourself. But then you get terribly lonely, but the

triggers are never gonna be stopping. And the to be wounded

again, because of that wound not being healed. But what you can

do is to, once again, understand why you are feeling triggered.

And the funny thing about Y is that you still, when you explore

the Y are going to point the finger outside, because that

person steps around my boundaries, because that person

is intentionally hurting me. Because that person is just

super insulin insensitive and an asshole. Well, guess what? Maybe

that's right. But you're never going to change the people

around you. It is you who has not healed yet. It is you who is

allowing other people to step over your boundaries, and to

hurt you. Because if you were able to set boundaries, what

they can say or do would not even touch you. Right. But for

some reason, you allow that common that reaction or that

behavior to trigger you. And is it is on you to heal, so that

you feel more at peace with yourself and the people around

you. And so that you can express yourself with how you feel

without blaming the other person. Because that's what we

do. When we start expressing ourselves about our triggers. We

make those triggers valid, when we turn them into our identity.

I always feel triggered when this and that happens. This is

me, I'm not going to change. I'm always going to be that way.

Awesome if that's you. But if you want to change how you feel.

If you want to feel more at peace and better connection with

other people, you have to start digging deeper. You have to ask

questions and wonder when was the first time or the last time

that you felt triggered about that very same topic? And what

happened inside of you what would have happened outside of

you? What happened all around you? And how can you make sure

that back then is not now back then you might have been a child

and you didn't have the tools to defend for yourself or to talk

back or to make amends to make the situation easier.

But now you're a different person. In fact, you're dead

From person every second of your life, and you can change your

mindset within weeks and become a totally different person for

the better. Not that you need to. But if you are at a point

where you want to heal certain things in your life, you got to

have the courage to dig deeper, and to be responsible for how

you feel. Your triggers are within you, your root wounds are

within you, and you are the only person who can heal it. I think

I'm gonna leave you with that. It was a huge lesson for me to

learn for certain and I'm still learning it. Right? I'm not

hovering above you, or on some pedestal knowing at all. I'm

right in there with you. And I'm learning what I just expressed

or shared with you right now in this moment. All right. I'm

gonna leave you with so much love. take really good care and

if you have any episode requests or any questions, never hold

back. You can message me over my website, Aurora Eggert

coaching.com We're on Facebook. And yeah, I'm glad to connect.