1 00:00:04,399 --> 00:00:08,230 Creates art podcast interview. 2 00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:09,530 Dr. 3 00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:10,750 Joshua Caraballo. 4 00:00:10,750 --> 00:00:14,130 Hello friend. 5 00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:15,379 This is Timothy Kimo. 6 00:00:15,379 --> 00:00:19,790 Brian, your head instigator with create art podcast, where I bring 7 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:23,520 my over 30 years of experience in the arts and education world to 8 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,599 help you tame your inner critic. 9 00:00:25,790 --> 00:00:32,409 In this episode, I'm going to be talking with Dr. 10 00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:38,660 Joshua Caraballo, who is an industrial organizational psychologist, currently 11 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:40,430 residing in Denver, Colorado. 12 00:00:41,210 --> 00:00:45,169 Now his career trajectory has centered on the themes of inspirational 13 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:48,740 storytelling and applied science for the sake of human betterment, 14 00:00:49,220 --> 00:00:53,510 especially for those who have been historically marginalized and oppressed. 15 00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:58,570 Joshua has a deep passion for For the human flourishing, awe 16 00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:03,180 inspiring experience in nature and anything involving cats. 17 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:07,770 Now you may be asking yourself, hey Tim, how do you get these guests on the show? 18 00:01:08,539 --> 00:01:13,855 Well, what I do Is I subscribe to a service called pod match. 19 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:18,125 And what that does is that matches me with other people that are 20 00:01:18,145 --> 00:01:22,775 interested in the same things that I'm interested in, namely for me, the arts. 21 00:01:23,405 --> 00:01:26,315 And that's how I ran into Dr. 22 00:01:26,315 --> 00:01:27,545 Joshua Caraballo. 23 00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:30,615 He reached out to me and heard the show and thought it would be a great 24 00:01:30,615 --> 00:01:32,485 idea for him to be on the show. 25 00:01:32,855 --> 00:01:37,075 And he has a new book out that you're going to hear a lot about. 26 00:01:37,535 --> 00:01:42,335 And that new book is called I'm not dead yet, how I turned my misfortunes 27 00:01:42,365 --> 00:01:47,055 into strengths and links to Dr. 28 00:01:47,055 --> 00:01:52,645 Carabello's website and how to get the book will be in the show notes. 29 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,425 So make sure you look out for those. 30 00:01:56,285 --> 00:02:01,605 Now, the sound quality on this interview is not 100%, so I'm going to 31 00:02:01,605 --> 00:02:03,125 let you know that ahead of time here. 32 00:02:03,595 --> 00:02:06,665 So if you hear any squelches or any weird things like that, 33 00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:08,264 that's what's going on there. 34 00:02:08,314 --> 00:02:11,825 Just using a new service, which is called Squadcast. 35 00:02:11,885 --> 00:02:15,725 And I've used it in the past and gotten decent results with it. 36 00:02:16,065 --> 00:02:20,915 This time was not 100 percent perfect, but I thought instead of rerecording 37 00:02:20,915 --> 00:02:25,295 everything, it was important to get this conversation going. 38 00:02:25,405 --> 00:02:31,204 To you, because there's a lot of great tidbits in here that you're going to want 39 00:02:31,204 --> 00:02:34,855 to write down and you're going to want to go ahead and get the book as well. 40 00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:38,535 So without further ado, here's my interview with Dr. 41 00:02:38,535 --> 00:02:40,244 Joshua Caraballo. 42 00:02:44,974 --> 00:02:48,534 Folks, I have the privilege of having Dr. 43 00:02:48,534 --> 00:02:50,094 Joshua here with me today. 44 00:02:50,094 --> 00:02:50,464 Dr. 45 00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,594 Joshua, you're out there in Colorado. 46 00:02:52,635 --> 00:02:53,175 How is it? 47 00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:55,035 Oh 48 00:02:55,035 --> 00:02:55,715 my goodness. 49 00:02:55,744 --> 00:02:57,984 It, the weather is so beautiful this week. 50 00:02:58,024 --> 00:03:01,194 Um, anyone that knows about Colorado weather. 51 00:03:01,370 --> 00:03:05,820 Denver specifically is where I'm at, uh, will know that the weather here 52 00:03:05,830 --> 00:03:10,240 changes drastically, uh, sometimes day to day to day, hour to hour. 53 00:03:10,250 --> 00:03:15,135 So this week is one of those weeks where I'm taking a big, Breath of 54 00:03:15,135 --> 00:03:20,095 fresh air and saying, wow, I'm so happy that the weather is just, I would 55 00:03:20,095 --> 00:03:23,344 use the word perfect, but it's almost perfect because nothing is perfect. 56 00:03:25,635 --> 00:03:27,644 Been out to Denver myself. 57 00:03:27,695 --> 00:03:28,214 Oh gosh. 58 00:03:28,225 --> 00:03:31,484 It's been 10, 000 and 12 hours out there. 59 00:03:31,524 --> 00:03:35,734 And I got to tell you, the air out there, it tastes like metal to me. 60 00:03:35,734 --> 00:03:39,035 Anyways, there's a big independent bookstore downtown. 61 00:03:39,035 --> 00:03:40,234 I forget the name of it. 62 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:44,540 The art scene there in Denver is top notch. 63 00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:44,950 Thank you 64 00:03:44,950 --> 00:03:45,270 so much, 65 00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:45,500 yeah. 66 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,860 I'm originally from South Florida, so it's a big difference between Denver 67 00:03:48,860 --> 00:03:50,570 and South Florida for several reasons. 68 00:03:50,679 --> 00:03:53,960 But yeah, the art scene here is tremendous. 69 00:03:53,970 --> 00:03:58,009 So I always say, or at least I have been saying for the last three years that I've 70 00:03:58,010 --> 00:04:01,885 been here, It's the best decision I've ever made, and I tell everybody, although 71 00:04:01,894 --> 00:04:04,795 other Denverites here probably don't want me to do this because we're getting a 72 00:04:04,795 --> 00:04:08,725 little crowded here, but uh, you should definitely come visit, and if you really 73 00:04:08,965 --> 00:04:13,464 love it here, come and live, because it's, it's just so amazing to be around the 74 00:04:13,465 --> 00:04:17,724 mountains and the outdoors, there's so many people that truly appreciate that, 75 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,964 and it, it does so well for our art. 76 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:22,535 As like being outside 77 00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,945 and it's really inspiring being out there. 78 00:04:25,945 --> 00:04:29,885 I, like I said, it's been over a decade since I've been there, but I know when 79 00:04:29,905 --> 00:04:35,695 I was there, went to the bookstore, went around town, saw the mountains and how can 80 00:04:35,695 --> 00:04:37,615 you not have a good time out in Denver? 81 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:38,125 Yeah. 82 00:04:38,174 --> 00:04:40,855 I think that bookstore is called the tattered cover. 83 00:04:41,035 --> 00:04:41,625 That's it. 84 00:04:41,625 --> 00:04:41,925 Yeah. 85 00:04:41,925 --> 00:04:42,224 Yeah. 86 00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:43,975 Such an amazing bookstore. 87 00:04:43,985 --> 00:04:47,425 There's also another one in Boulder called the Boulder Bookstore. 88 00:04:47,475 --> 00:04:48,645 Very easy to remember. 89 00:04:49,115 --> 00:04:50,875 And it's nondescript when you see it. 90 00:04:51,055 --> 00:04:52,764 It doesn't say Boulder Bookstore. 91 00:04:52,765 --> 00:04:56,915 It just says bookstore at the front, but it is gigantic. 92 00:04:56,955 --> 00:04:58,195 It's three stories. 93 00:04:58,784 --> 00:05:00,454 It is a dream to be inside. 94 00:05:00,454 --> 00:05:05,794 So again, if anybody ever visits, please make it a point to go to that bookstore. 95 00:05:06,145 --> 00:05:07,534 You will be so surprised. 96 00:05:08,674 --> 00:05:12,195 And if you go out and visit, you automatically have a friend with Dr. 97 00:05:12,195 --> 00:05:12,505 Gott. 98 00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:18,925 So that's right, I'm talking to him and let him show you around town. 99 00:05:18,945 --> 00:05:23,745 And I'll definitely, when I come out to Denver, don't know when I'll knock 100 00:05:23,745 --> 00:05:28,055 on your door and be like, Hey, let's go around, let's go to the Tatters bookstore. 101 00:05:28,455 --> 00:05:30,204 Let's get right into the yard here. 102 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:33,094 Now I do know, and it just full transparency. 103 00:05:33,134 --> 00:05:34,044 I have not read it yet. 104 00:05:34,564 --> 00:05:37,314 But you have a book called, I'm not dead yet. 105 00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:45,964 I want to talk about that title first and foremost, because when I saw that I'm 106 00:05:45,965 --> 00:05:51,395 of an age and it made me think of Monty Python's Holy Grail where, you know, um, 107 00:05:54,510 --> 00:05:59,140 I'm going to tell you that this book is not about Monty Python, Holy Grail. 108 00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:02,590 So can you tell me a little bit about what, why that title? 109 00:06:02,869 --> 00:06:05,669 It's very eye catching, but why that title? 110 00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:07,530 Yeah. 111 00:06:07,570 --> 00:06:11,390 First, I didn't realize this when I was looking at or thinking about 112 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,979 different titles for the book, but I was definitely thinking about 113 00:06:14,979 --> 00:06:17,259 Monty Python, Holy, the Holy Grail. 114 00:06:17,449 --> 00:06:19,969 That is one of my favorite movies ever. 115 00:06:20,509 --> 00:06:24,975 And that line, With the old man or older gentleman, if you will, 116 00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:27,555 who is just say, I'm not dead yet. 117 00:06:27,985 --> 00:06:28,895 I'm still alive. 118 00:06:29,365 --> 00:06:34,705 It just it stayed with me and I I saw that when I was young and I just thought 119 00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:40,185 it was One of the most hilarious things I had ever seen in my life So the title 120 00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:45,185 actually I can't say it comes from that, but it definitely I was informed early 121 00:06:45,185 --> 00:06:52,764 on in my life with Performance the way people express themselves, especially 122 00:06:52,774 --> 00:06:57,360 through mass media And even in more localized, like theater productions, et 123 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:03,310 cetera, has always gravitated towards me and that informs everything that I do. 124 00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:06,760 And that's, that's the type of artist that I am, a performance artist. 125 00:07:07,180 --> 00:07:09,530 And we can talk more about that, but back to the name of the book, 126 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:10,830 I've been through a lot in my life. 127 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:16,450 I've faced a lot of adversities, and although I consider myself to 128 00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:18,590 be young ish, I'm 47 years old. 129 00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,200 People might think, why are you even thinking about death? 130 00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:26,299 But I've lived a life where I've had to think about death for quite some 131 00:07:26,299 --> 00:07:27,789 time in a lot of different ways. 132 00:07:27,799 --> 00:07:32,765 So when I turned 18 years old, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, 133 00:07:32,815 --> 00:07:38,005 and I was in stage four, and for those who don't really know about stages of 134 00:07:38,005 --> 00:07:41,674 cancer, stage four is usually the very last stage, where it metastasizes, 135 00:07:42,764 --> 00:07:44,264 if I'm saying that word correctly. 136 00:07:44,534 --> 00:07:46,124 I'm a doctor, but not that kind of doctor. 137 00:07:46,124 --> 00:07:49,354 I'm an, I'm an industrial organizational psychologist, a little bit different. 138 00:07:49,705 --> 00:07:53,825 But, That was the first time that I ever had to square away 139 00:07:53,825 --> 00:07:55,674 with the possibility of dying. 140 00:07:56,635 --> 00:07:58,915 Especially when it came back a second time. 141 00:07:59,475 --> 00:08:03,930 I went through the first time about six months of chemotherapy, and then two 142 00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:09,594 months later, As should happen, another scan is done just to see what's going 143 00:08:09,594 --> 00:08:11,715 on, and all of my cancer was in my chest. 144 00:08:12,865 --> 00:08:16,484 So I had one tumor the size of a football, the other one was the size 145 00:08:16,484 --> 00:08:20,034 of a golf ball, and in the book I talk about how it's interesting and 146 00:08:20,034 --> 00:08:24,034 a little bit funny how doctors use these analogies that come from sports. 147 00:08:24,365 --> 00:08:27,225 In some ways it's fitting, and in some ways it's like, I don't know, I don't 148 00:08:27,225 --> 00:08:30,895 know how much of the game I want to be involved in right now, especially when 149 00:08:30,895 --> 00:08:32,825 it has to do with a football in my chest. 150 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,679 But there's a litany of other things that I've experienced, but I could just 151 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,380 focus on those two things for the moment. 152 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:43,100 This changed my life as well, as you could probably imagine, especially 153 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,720 when I found out two months later that the cancer had come back. 154 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:50,130 It was very aggressive, and when I was first given treatment, I was 155 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:54,329 told that there was like a 95 percent chance that everything would work out. 156 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,850 I would be in remission and life would move on. 157 00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:58,079 I was a young man. 158 00:08:58,110 --> 00:08:59,250 I was 18 years old. 159 00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,710 Don't worry about it. 160 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,479 That's not what happened to me. 161 00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:10,720 And because of all of those things and the way that it happened, I knew in my heart 162 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:15,540 of hearts, I don't feel this way now, as a preface, but during that time I knew in my 163 00:09:15,540 --> 00:09:17,399 heart of hearts that God was punishing me. 164 00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:18,389 Now why do I say that? 165 00:09:19,230 --> 00:09:22,350 I happened to grow up in a Jehovah's Witness household and I was told at a 166 00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:26,010 very young age that being gay was wrong. 167 00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:31,765 And if you ever acted on that, That you would not be able to live through 168 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:35,065 the Great Tribulation or Armageddon, as it's sometimes referred to as. 169 00:09:35,834 --> 00:09:40,275 And as silly as that might sound to some people, when you are being 170 00:09:40,285 --> 00:09:45,625 brought up in your formative years in a religious household, and that's 171 00:09:45,635 --> 00:09:47,685 all you know, you truly believe that. 172 00:09:48,194 --> 00:09:55,079 And, I probably knew that I was gay before I even knew what sex was because it wasn't 173 00:09:55,079 --> 00:09:59,709 about sex, it was, and that's the other thing, when people reduce a gay man's 174 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:05,399 life or being queer, generally speaking, to the sexual act, it just, it boggles 175 00:10:05,399 --> 00:10:12,360 my mind because we're human beings, obviously, and there's so much else than 176 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:17,770 sex that exists as part of our experience here in life and being queer people. 177 00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:19,280 Just, I'll leave that for what it's worth. 178 00:10:20,090 --> 00:10:26,449 But I knew that I was gay because I knew there was an attraction that I had and 179 00:10:26,449 --> 00:10:29,170 there was beauty, and artists know this. 180 00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:31,569 That is separate than sex. 181 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:37,740 The beauty that we see in the world, like with a tree, is not because, and forgive 182 00:10:37,740 --> 00:10:41,260 me for just going there and being silly, we don't want to have sex with a tree. 183 00:10:41,530 --> 00:10:47,450 We find that the beauty of that tree is so amazing that it touches our heart. 184 00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:51,140 It flows through our blood. 185 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,560 That's being gay to me. 186 00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:55,370 That's how I saw the males form. 187 00:10:55,960 --> 00:11:01,910 Other males in my life had this sort of spiritual connection to and that's 188 00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:05,240 the best way that I can explain that and how I knew that I was gay but that 189 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:10,800 was the conundrum because as a young person and then understanding even not 190 00:11:10,809 --> 00:11:14,750 knowing how to put a label on I am gay I just knew that there was an attraction 191 00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:21,060 to this male form but I also knew that was wrong and I it was wrong because it 192 00:11:21,060 --> 00:11:28,950 was taught to me and sasphoric to the age of 18 it makes sense to me that I 193 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,639 thought that this was God's punishment. 194 00:11:31,069 --> 00:11:36,670 for everything that I had tried so hard to get rid of in my life. 195 00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:42,019 But I realized something, the more I tried to get rid of it, the harder it 196 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:46,450 became to get rid of, because I was actually trying to get rid of myself. 197 00:11:47,219 --> 00:11:51,820 I was trying to get rid of who I am instead of accepting that, 198 00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:54,470 loving that, and embracing that. 199 00:11:55,850 --> 00:11:58,480 I do not say all of these things, and this is one of the things I always 200 00:11:58,490 --> 00:12:00,280 like to say when I talk about my past. 201 00:12:00,699 --> 00:12:02,939 This is not to disparage religious people. 202 00:12:03,345 --> 00:12:05,305 This is not to disparage my family. 203 00:12:06,265 --> 00:12:10,615 I understand that when they brought me up, they did it out of love that 204 00:12:11,265 --> 00:12:14,985 when they decided to become Jehovah's witnesses, regardless of how I feel 205 00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:18,345 or how it's affected me, they did it because they felt it was the best 206 00:12:18,345 --> 00:12:25,605 thing in their life, the structure and community and religiosity and spirituality 207 00:12:25,605 --> 00:12:27,625 that religion gave my parents. 208 00:12:28,069 --> 00:12:32,449 met their needs and provided them with something that they felt was great. 209 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,220 And because of that, they decided that they wanted to 210 00:12:36,220 --> 00:12:37,919 share that with their family. 211 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,040 And. 212 00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:40,829 I don't fault them for that. 213 00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:47,770 What I do understand now is that sometimes the very thing that people see as a potion 214 00:12:47,770 --> 00:12:51,860 for themselves that they drink and think is wonderful can be a poison for others. 215 00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:53,799 And that's exactly what had happened to me. 216 00:12:54,319 --> 00:12:55,889 I don't think it's about pointing fingers. 217 00:12:55,969 --> 00:13:00,340 I think it's about making it right for myself, reversing the damage that has 218 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:04,150 been done, which I will probably have to keep doing for the rest of my life. 219 00:13:04,564 --> 00:13:07,094 Although I feel like a good portion of that is now behind me. 220 00:13:07,974 --> 00:13:12,185 Learning how to love myself, learning what my relationship with God is, 221 00:13:13,415 --> 00:13:18,124 learning how to renegotiate all the relationships in my life with people who 222 00:13:18,124 --> 00:13:19,925 think that I should not be on this earth. 223 00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:24,094 Sometimes that means cutting them off, sometimes that means like figuring out 224 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:28,824 some sort of semblance of how to love each other regardless of those differences. 225 00:13:29,354 --> 00:13:33,204 And everything in between and all of that is so beautiful and all of it has 226 00:13:33,204 --> 00:13:36,295 informed my art, which I think is great 227 00:13:37,055 --> 00:13:39,084 that, that my God, that's awesome. 228 00:13:39,094 --> 00:13:42,255 I just want to reach through the screen and give you a big hug after that, because 229 00:13:42,265 --> 00:13:48,234 that you're, you're talking my life, honestly, because I came up with similar, 230 00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:53,504 very religious upbringing came out as bisexual when I was in the air force. 231 00:13:53,514 --> 00:13:54,574 And this wasn't a time. 232 00:13:54,574 --> 00:13:54,744 So. 233 00:13:55,430 --> 00:13:57,130 Military, don't ask, don't tell. 234 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:02,210 Luckily, I, uh, ran into a, uh, group of people that became my 235 00:14:02,210 --> 00:14:04,370 adopted family, my family of choice. 236 00:14:04,460 --> 00:14:08,860 And now I'm, I've been married now for, uh, 11 years, uh, to my wife. 237 00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:10,120 We've got kids. 238 00:14:10,319 --> 00:14:13,749 I always remember my parents telling me, We're doing the best with what we have. 239 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,170 And this is what we can offer you. 240 00:14:16,580 --> 00:14:19,620 And I'm just trying to do the best with my kiddos. 241 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,610 And offer what I have for them. 242 00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,770 Just opening up doors for them. 243 00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:24,404 A Lines. 244 00:14:25,015 --> 00:14:25,575 And all that. 245 00:14:25,585 --> 00:14:26,695 So enough about me. 246 00:14:26,705 --> 00:14:27,655 Let's talk about you. 247 00:14:27,665 --> 00:14:29,065 Cause I I'm there with you, man. 248 00:14:29,315 --> 00:14:32,605 You mentioned performance art and I'm a theater kid. 249 00:14:32,685 --> 00:14:34,635 So I've done a lot of performance art myself. 250 00:14:34,725 --> 00:14:36,254 Yeah, I was in theater in high school. 251 00:14:36,255 --> 00:14:42,584 So that probably explains a lot about my choices, but with performance art for 252 00:14:42,584 --> 00:14:48,455 you, a lot of people don't understand what the deal is with performance arts. 253 00:14:48,525 --> 00:14:48,875 They. 254 00:14:49,295 --> 00:14:51,705 We have the flash mobs and people scratch their head and 255 00:14:51,705 --> 00:14:52,944 go, why are they doing that? 256 00:14:53,115 --> 00:14:58,735 Describe the way and the meeting with your performance art. 257 00:15:00,205 --> 00:15:01,464 Yeah, that's a great question. 258 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:02,515 Thank you for asking it. 259 00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:05,055 I say performance art, but I'm a theater person as well. 260 00:15:05,065 --> 00:15:06,085 So let me start there. 261 00:15:06,115 --> 00:15:07,194 Those are my foundations. 262 00:15:07,414 --> 00:15:10,454 But the reason why I use the term performance art is because 263 00:15:11,354 --> 00:15:12,774 you can't always do theater. 264 00:15:13,305 --> 00:15:13,905 It's hard. 265 00:15:13,945 --> 00:15:19,785 It's hard to get into, it's hard to maintain, it's highly, let me just put 266 00:15:19,785 --> 00:15:24,505 it, it's very difficult to get in, um, and it's definitely, it's definitely 267 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,814 very difficult to make a living, just like a lot of other types of art, right, 268 00:15:27,855 --> 00:15:29,375 and I really wish it was the opposite. 269 00:15:30,555 --> 00:15:32,784 But my heart will always be in the theater. 270 00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:37,083 When I was really young, I'd say four, five, six, I, before, 271 00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:39,594 and this is before, obviously, I knew what theater was, acting, 272 00:15:39,594 --> 00:15:40,964 performance art, any of those things. 273 00:15:40,964 --> 00:15:42,106 For more information, visit www. 274 00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:42,334 FEMA. 275 00:15:42,335 --> 00:15:49,350 gov As a natural inclination as to who I was and what I wanted to do, I obviously 276 00:15:49,350 --> 00:15:52,830 during that time I was reading the Bible a lot and the Bible stories were being 277 00:15:52,830 --> 00:15:59,630 read to me, and so I decided to enact the Bible stories for my parents and 278 00:15:59,630 --> 00:16:01,069 I would do it for their anniversary. 279 00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:06,200 We were not allowed to celebrate any holidays or like birthdays, but one 280 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,400 of the things that we did celebrate. 281 00:16:07,849 --> 00:16:09,750 Every year was my parents anniversary. 282 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,530 I know that sounds counterintuitive to some who may not know about 283 00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,669 you being a jobless witness, but just take my word for it. 284 00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:19,540 That was the one thing we were allowed to do and we embraced it. 285 00:16:20,469 --> 00:16:26,109 Every year, I so much looked forward to preparing myself to 286 00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:28,569 do a role in front of my parents. 287 00:16:28,629 --> 00:16:31,800 And sometimes I would incorporate my brother or my cousins. 288 00:16:32,435 --> 00:16:36,735 But that was something, again, that nobody told me I needed to do. 289 00:16:37,415 --> 00:16:39,605 Nobody pushed me in that direction. 290 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,965 It was just something that was inside of me. 291 00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:44,074 And that means a lot to me. 292 00:16:44,074 --> 00:16:49,375 So regardless of how far I get away in life, like during my nine to five or 293 00:16:49,395 --> 00:16:53,425 all the other things that I've done, getting a doctoral degree, nothing 294 00:16:53,434 --> 00:17:00,044 has made me feel totally fulfilled and whole, like performance art and theater. 295 00:17:01,364 --> 00:17:01,914 And. 296 00:17:03,020 --> 00:17:06,790 I realize that's who I am as part of my identity and will never go away. 297 00:17:07,550 --> 00:17:11,040 One of the most memorable sort of performances that I put on as 298 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:15,530 a youngster is actually in the book where I performed Jezebel. 299 00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:17,204 I don't know if anyone knows Jezebel. 300 00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:22,724 About the story of Jezebel, but she gets pushed down from the top of a tower 301 00:17:23,035 --> 00:17:24,905 and gets eaten by dogs at the bottom. 302 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:28,264 There's a lot more to the story, but that's pretty much the takeaway. 303 00:17:28,295 --> 00:17:31,985 And the thing that remains with people the most, the shocking, 304 00:17:32,025 --> 00:17:33,164 the shock value, if you will. 305 00:17:33,164 --> 00:17:33,354 Right. 306 00:17:35,914 --> 00:17:41,994 And although there are like stories, I'm sorry, there are learning 307 00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:44,035 lessons to all the biblical stories. 308 00:17:44,495 --> 00:17:45,735 When I was doing this. 309 00:17:47,035 --> 00:17:52,625 I felt like there was something inside of me that was not only wanting to tell 310 00:17:52,625 --> 00:17:58,204 the story, but also help people see the value of what that story was about. 311 00:17:58,815 --> 00:18:01,684 And so what, what I think is so great about the theater and 312 00:18:01,685 --> 00:18:07,814 performance art, generally speaking, is that it helps communities come 313 00:18:07,815 --> 00:18:09,135 together, just like the movies. 314 00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:14,490 But I think the theater does this even more and it makes us really 315 00:18:14,530 --> 00:18:21,060 contemplate why we exist and why we treat people the way that we do. 316 00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:24,709 All the good, the bad, the indifferent, everything. 317 00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:28,310 And there is nothing like it in the world. 318 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:30,740 It is also a spiritual connection to me. 319 00:18:30,769 --> 00:18:35,800 So now that I'm not so much religious, I find the theater and performance 320 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,900 art to be my religion, if you will. 321 00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,540 If I'm, if I can call it that, 322 00:18:40,020 --> 00:18:40,560 but definitely 323 00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:41,660 my spirituality. 324 00:18:42,215 --> 00:18:43,305 That's awesome to hear. 325 00:18:43,305 --> 00:18:50,735 And with arts, we were talking earlier about John Coltrane and he's my favorite 326 00:18:50,735 --> 00:18:55,644 jazz artist and a lot of his stuff, especially in his later years, very 327 00:18:55,645 --> 00:19:03,074 spiritual when, when you're dealing with the spirituality in arts, how do you 328 00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:07,594 find that difference than religious? 329 00:19:07,725 --> 00:19:09,814 How is that spirituality different? 330 00:19:09,915 --> 00:19:13,004 Yeah, there are plenty of ways that it is different. 331 00:19:13,615 --> 00:19:17,225 And please don't take this as a dodge to your question. 332 00:19:18,665 --> 00:19:24,985 In my mind, I think, for me, I look at the connections. 333 00:19:26,505 --> 00:19:29,475 Again, I'm happy to talk about the differences, because 334 00:19:29,475 --> 00:19:31,084 I know there are several. 335 00:19:31,265 --> 00:19:35,165 But the reason why I look at those connections is because 336 00:19:36,025 --> 00:19:37,205 there are obvious differences. 337 00:19:37,215 --> 00:19:43,005 Like praying to God, and in this day and age, what that has been used 338 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:48,830 for as a weapon against Marginalized individuals, as an example, can spark 339 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:54,039 or create this sort of animosity towards religion as generally speaking. 340 00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:59,339 And so just speaking about it can turn people away because it's just like, Oh no, 341 00:19:59,350 --> 00:20:00,939 we're not going to talk about religion. 342 00:20:01,379 --> 00:20:05,059 It's just too, it's like politics, those sorts of things. 343 00:20:05,059 --> 00:20:05,269 Yeah. 344 00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:08,650 You're in art for the most part, you're not praying to God. 345 00:20:08,650 --> 00:20:13,350 You're not singing songs in a congregation as an example. 346 00:20:13,410 --> 00:20:16,350 But the reason why I say there's so many commonalities. 347 00:20:16,819 --> 00:20:20,899 Also is because what I have found so profound in my life and what 348 00:20:20,899 --> 00:20:25,219 I as an artist is looking at the ways that we are all connected. 349 00:20:25,239 --> 00:20:30,969 I love the philosophy of looking at the universe and seeing how everything is 350 00:20:30,969 --> 00:20:32,860 connected in some way, shape or form. 351 00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:36,139 And I want to be careful because there are exceptions to everything. 352 00:20:36,139 --> 00:20:37,979 It's not an all or nothing sort of thinking. 353 00:20:38,669 --> 00:20:42,149 Somebody who's gone through something traumatic in their life. 354 00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:46,920 Like when I had cancer, as an example, or a woman who was abused, et cetera, 355 00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:51,199 all those atrocities that exist, I hesitate to say that the universe 356 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,539 is connected everything and that this was all happening for a reason. 357 00:20:55,180 --> 00:20:58,550 That's when I draw the line and I say, there are exceptions to everything. 358 00:20:58,570 --> 00:21:01,149 It's not a panacea to talk about everything in our lives. 359 00:21:01,380 --> 00:21:02,620 It's more or less like. 360 00:21:02,825 --> 00:21:06,465 When you feel the spiritual connection, that's what I mean. 361 00:21:06,485 --> 00:21:10,595 It's like, it's feeling like the universe is giving you a sign or a symbol or, or 362 00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:12,894 some, and you can call that religious. 363 00:21:12,895 --> 00:21:14,034 You can call that spiritual. 364 00:21:14,034 --> 00:21:15,384 You can call that the universe. 365 00:21:15,384 --> 00:21:16,444 You can call it God. 366 00:21:16,455 --> 00:21:21,685 You can call it art, whatever you want, but I have had the privilege, if you 367 00:21:21,685 --> 00:21:28,084 will, to be in congregations for the first 18 years of my life and to feel. 368 00:21:28,530 --> 00:21:32,870 Inside with my heart, what it feels like to have this solidarity with 369 00:21:32,870 --> 00:21:37,770 a bunch of other people who are praying and singing and talking and 370 00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:43,109 congregating all on the same page, that's the community that was built. 371 00:21:43,599 --> 00:21:48,459 And although the community also had ways of pushing people away like myself, 372 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:53,840 those commonalities is what I see as the things that I want to extract. 373 00:21:54,639 --> 00:21:59,750 And the very same things that are offered in communities like theater and in arts. 374 00:22:00,260 --> 00:22:04,310 And especially for those who may be struggling and trying 375 00:22:04,310 --> 00:22:05,530 to find their community. 376 00:22:05,770 --> 00:22:08,830 Right now, I joined a choir this year, early this year. 377 00:22:09,209 --> 00:22:11,339 And again, I lump that under performance art. 378 00:22:11,559 --> 00:22:16,640 Because singing, It's such a wonderful feeling, but that's another community 379 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:21,300 where I'm accepted, I go in, and I feel that same spiritual feeling 380 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:25,990 that I felt many years ago, where I was like, wow, this is amazing. 381 00:22:26,340 --> 00:22:29,759 It's also important because it helps me to understand why people do what they do. 382 00:22:30,159 --> 00:22:34,400 It's easy to step aside and say, those people They're weird. 383 00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:38,299 They're all, they're talking about living forever on a different planet and they're 384 00:22:38,299 --> 00:22:39,739 doing this and they're doing that. 385 00:22:39,750 --> 00:22:40,460 Come on. 386 00:22:40,509 --> 00:22:41,270 There's no hell. 387 00:22:41,270 --> 00:22:41,920 There's no heaven. 388 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:43,089 They're weird. 389 00:22:43,089 --> 00:22:43,699 They're stupid. 390 00:22:43,909 --> 00:22:44,569 All that kind of stuff. 391 00:22:44,690 --> 00:22:47,020 But there's a good reason why they get together. 392 00:22:47,279 --> 00:22:49,310 They have their good justifications. 393 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:54,629 There aren't any good justifications for disparaging other people, but I see that. 394 00:22:54,629 --> 00:22:57,659 That's why I look at those commonalities and it's not to ignore 395 00:22:57,659 --> 00:22:59,919 the hatred and the negativity. 396 00:23:00,229 --> 00:23:03,119 It's to say, how can I learn from that? 397 00:23:03,415 --> 00:23:10,195 And extract that, and the arts happen to offer another venue to 398 00:23:10,275 --> 00:23:11,765 feel those very same feelings. 399 00:23:12,135 --> 00:23:16,414 So I can replace religiosity with community in the arts, 400 00:23:16,974 --> 00:23:18,664 and I can still feel fulfilled. 401 00:23:19,405 --> 00:23:20,095 Absolutely. 402 00:23:20,105 --> 00:23:23,545 My wife and I, we just went to go see at a dinner theater, 403 00:23:23,615 --> 00:23:24,965 Murder on the Aquarium Express. 404 00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:32,205 I've never seen play and that community that you're talking about, so we're like 405 00:23:32,205 --> 00:23:37,805 sitting right next to people almost on labs and some of the actors, so some of 406 00:23:37,805 --> 00:23:44,284 the servers or the demo, uh, one of the people that committed murder with us. 407 00:23:44,645 --> 00:23:45,225 Serving us. 408 00:23:45,234 --> 00:23:48,375 So it was that instance, Hey, we're all here. 409 00:23:48,395 --> 00:23:49,395 We're all enjoying it. 410 00:23:49,415 --> 00:23:52,495 We're all being entertained and enjoying what's happening there. 411 00:23:52,895 --> 00:23:56,114 And live theater, I'm going to toot my horn with live 412 00:23:56,114 --> 00:23:57,645 theater until the day I die. 413 00:23:58,235 --> 00:23:59,494 There is nothing like it. 414 00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:05,084 You can go see a movie, you can whatever, but seeing that live theater really 415 00:24:05,924 --> 00:24:10,235 connects you with the person next to you because you're sitting there 416 00:24:10,245 --> 00:24:11,524 and you're enjoying the same thing. 417 00:24:11,715 --> 00:24:15,144 With your books that has come out, I'm not dead yet. 418 00:24:15,650 --> 00:24:19,000 Again, I'm thinking, I can't get Monty Python out of my head, so 419 00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:23,800 forgive me on that, but I know for myself, when I've published for, self 420 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,440 published for, books of poetry, and 421 00:24:28,580 --> 00:24:32,210 for me, and it's been that number of years since I've done that, but 422 00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:39,195 for me, I let my vulnerability go to about, I don't know, maybe 75 percent 423 00:24:39,645 --> 00:24:47,004 that for you, how was it publishing that book, telling your story, talking 424 00:24:47,004 --> 00:24:49,854 about the cancer and the upbringing? 425 00:24:49,994 --> 00:24:54,264 Did you feel, uh, you know, naked to the world and, Oh my God, people 426 00:24:54,264 --> 00:24:58,324 are going to read this or where did you save a little bit for yourself? 427 00:24:58,965 --> 00:24:59,825 No, it was hard. 428 00:25:00,215 --> 00:25:01,355 It was really hard. 429 00:25:01,504 --> 00:25:04,145 This was at times very grueling for me. 430 00:25:04,945 --> 00:25:08,495 And just to give you a preview, because I don't want to give everything away, 431 00:25:08,525 --> 00:25:13,385 but I was sexually abused when I was young by a cousin, a female cousin. 432 00:25:14,394 --> 00:25:19,415 I ended up abusing drugs and alcohol for quite some time. 433 00:25:19,415 --> 00:25:23,694 It was part of that deleterious cycle, if you will, where I 434 00:25:23,705 --> 00:25:25,064 just started destroying myself. 435 00:25:25,084 --> 00:25:29,995 I didn't care about myself, I didn't care about the world, and 436 00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:31,284 I actually ended up in prison. 437 00:25:32,910 --> 00:25:37,080 And so what I just revealed to you is very personal, right? 438 00:25:37,090 --> 00:25:38,500 It's wow, that's a lot. 439 00:25:38,690 --> 00:25:41,760 And I still haven't given you everything, but that's the major stuff in my life. 440 00:25:42,180 --> 00:25:46,259 And the reason why I say that is not so people can feel bad about for me. 441 00:25:47,739 --> 00:25:50,849 It's to show you the point that you're making here. 442 00:25:50,860 --> 00:25:55,389 It's that yes, in order to spill all that out for the world. 443 00:25:55,810 --> 00:25:59,660 To see you have to be vulnerable and if there's a such thing 444 00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:01,880 as 150 maybe I would use that 445 00:26:04,170 --> 00:26:10,429 But i'd say any type of vulnerability you're 75 Even if somebody does 10 I 446 00:26:10,439 --> 00:26:11,770 think that's what art is all about. 447 00:26:12,590 --> 00:26:18,270 It's about being vulnerable so that other people in the world Can connect to that 448 00:26:19,270 --> 00:26:23,260 when you're looking at a character on the stage or in the movies or Even if you're 449 00:26:23,260 --> 00:26:29,070 looking at a work of art What makes it profound is when you can see yourself or 450 00:26:29,070 --> 00:26:35,530 circumstances in your life, past, present, or otherwise, that come through, and it 451 00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:37,819 says something to you that stays with you. 452 00:26:39,230 --> 00:26:41,070 That's what makes it so profound. 453 00:26:42,029 --> 00:26:45,559 And there are so many people out there that are struggling that may not have 454 00:26:45,559 --> 00:26:49,470 gone through similar things as me, but may be thinking to themselves, I 455 00:26:49,470 --> 00:26:53,860 don't know, this is a lot, like how This, this is just too much for me. 456 00:26:54,780 --> 00:27:00,330 And I always feel like if I can go through all of those things and be okay. 457 00:27:00,340 --> 00:27:02,430 Cause no, I'm not trying to pretend like I'm perfect. 458 00:27:02,630 --> 00:27:08,149 I'll always have something to work on to become better, but I'm, I'm 459 00:27:08,199 --> 00:27:09,820 here and I'm not dead yet, right? 460 00:27:11,220 --> 00:27:15,330 It's like, if I can do that, then the smaller things in life, it 461 00:27:15,330 --> 00:27:16,600 doesn't mean they're less important. 462 00:27:18,289 --> 00:27:19,539 But they're doable, right? 463 00:27:19,819 --> 00:27:24,289 If you're not dying from cancer, if you're not in prison, being told that 464 00:27:24,289 --> 00:27:28,750 you're gonna die, get raped and killed there, because it's such a horrible 465 00:27:28,750 --> 00:27:32,949 place to be that there's a lot of people that are looking out to just destroy 466 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,430 you as a person, I think it's okay. 467 00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:40,739 If I can get through those situations, then I can get through a bad day at work. 468 00:27:41,979 --> 00:27:43,269 You know what I mean? 469 00:27:43,830 --> 00:27:47,529 And sometimes I even forget, even though I've been through so much in my life. 470 00:27:48,210 --> 00:27:50,310 Sometimes I need that friendly, friendly reminder. 471 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:53,600 Sometimes I give it to myself and I surround myself with people who are 472 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:58,029 also very loving and supportive, which is, I know a privilege that I have, but 473 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,110 sometimes they help to remind me as well. 474 00:28:00,139 --> 00:28:01,299 And they're very loving about that. 475 00:28:01,300 --> 00:28:02,789 And they say, you're very upset. 476 00:28:02,790 --> 00:28:05,530 Now you have a lot going on in your life, but this is nothing. 477 00:28:05,540 --> 00:28:06,450 This is okay. 478 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:07,770 And I love that. 479 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:13,910 Sorry if I got a little bit off track with your original question, but it's yeah. 480 00:28:13,940 --> 00:28:15,180 When I first started. 481 00:28:16,304 --> 00:28:21,735 Looking into writing this book, it was a few years ago and I, I got to the 482 00:28:21,735 --> 00:28:25,284 part of a few different parts that I was trying to write and I just had to 483 00:28:25,284 --> 00:28:28,935 stop because I started crying so much I couldn't even see in front of me. 484 00:28:29,175 --> 00:28:32,024 And what it was doing was it was reopening some of these wounds 485 00:28:32,024 --> 00:28:35,905 and I realized I'm not sure if this is the the right time for me. 486 00:28:36,405 --> 00:28:37,775 So let me process some more. 487 00:28:37,775 --> 00:28:39,055 Let me talk to some more therapists. 488 00:28:39,055 --> 00:28:43,525 Let me, you know, live my life and I'll, I'll come back to this. 489 00:28:43,554 --> 00:28:46,625 But I always knew something just like everything else in my life. 490 00:28:46,655 --> 00:28:51,014 If something keeps repeating itself and keeps coming back to me, that is 491 00:28:51,015 --> 00:28:54,514 a sign from the universe as far as I'm concerned that I need to do this. 492 00:28:54,544 --> 00:28:58,315 And my, and the book, my memoir was one of those things. 493 00:28:59,574 --> 00:29:06,969 And then I moved to Denver almost three years ago and I don't know. 494 00:29:06,990 --> 00:29:07,629 I can't tell you. 495 00:29:07,629 --> 00:29:09,520 I wish I could say it was the mountains that did it. 496 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:13,990 I don't know for sure But moving here did something where it clicked it 497 00:29:13,990 --> 00:29:17,519 could have been time Maybe I needed those three extra years, whatever it 498 00:29:17,519 --> 00:29:23,110 was, but then I became ready to write this thing and it took me Let me see. 499 00:29:23,110 --> 00:29:28,990 It was like 4 14 months to write it and It just flowed. 500 00:29:29,730 --> 00:29:30,909 I still cried a bit. 501 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,149 I thought you know, there's still some things there will always be that way 502 00:29:34,220 --> 00:29:41,010 but I wasn't, it didn't stop me in my tracks where I could not complete my art. 503 00:29:41,660 --> 00:29:45,370 And I call this art, although it's based in reality, but it's 504 00:29:45,419 --> 00:29:50,069 still like, it's recounting all of these situations from the past. 505 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:53,079 So there's an art form too, where you have to pick and choose what details 506 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:54,300 you use and all that kind of stuff. 507 00:29:54,300 --> 00:29:58,060 So short answer is yes, it was very hard. 508 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:00,120 No, that's perfect. 509 00:30:00,590 --> 00:30:04,900 I'm just, I need to go get this book like tomorrow. 510 00:30:04,950 --> 00:30:09,770 That's all there because I am fully invested in it so much. 511 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:13,710 I was invested in it before just from the title, but now just hearing you talk about 512 00:30:13,710 --> 00:30:19,750 it, you had mentioned your, your day job, organizational psychologist and all that. 513 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,990 Myself, I'm a program manager. 514 00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:25,520 I deal with financial wellness for the federal government. 515 00:30:26,500 --> 00:30:28,139 Probably not. 516 00:30:28,500 --> 00:30:32,190 Artistic, and I'm putting that in huge, yeah, it's totally artistic, Joelmo. 517 00:30:33,220 --> 00:30:41,589 With your 9 to 5 and your artistic practice, how do you reconcile the two? 518 00:30:42,199 --> 00:30:47,970 How do you gain that inspiration to go ahead and do the art after 9 to 5? 519 00:30:49,409 --> 00:30:51,120 Yeah, what a great question. 520 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,210 I think it's just being real with myself. 521 00:30:54,105 --> 00:30:58,425 We spent a good portion of our lives and I say we, but I really mean me. 522 00:30:58,925 --> 00:31:02,605 And I'm sure there's other people who feel similarly, but especially 523 00:31:02,605 --> 00:31:06,984 given my age, as I had mentioned, being 47, growing up in a world 524 00:31:07,014 --> 00:31:08,965 where we're taught, Oh, you're a man. 525 00:31:08,974 --> 00:31:10,255 You're supposed to act a certain way. 526 00:31:10,255 --> 00:31:12,845 When you feel negative emotions, you're supposed to control those 527 00:31:12,855 --> 00:31:14,325 things, especially in the workplace. 528 00:31:15,315 --> 00:31:19,925 And I've come to this place in my life and, and psychology has been 529 00:31:19,975 --> 00:31:22,055 very helpful in helping me get there. 530 00:31:23,245 --> 00:31:28,645 Where I've been able to process a lot more things in real time and not feel 531 00:31:28,655 --> 00:31:33,925 like I'm doing something bad or wrong or that is socially unacceptable. 532 00:31:35,115 --> 00:31:40,665 And part of that is just being really, not only true to myself, which means 533 00:31:40,665 --> 00:31:47,155 that you have to know yourself, but also being assertive with those around me to 534 00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:48,935 let them know what my needs are as well. 535 00:31:50,375 --> 00:31:54,545 Now, I'm not perfect at this, but examples of this are when I'm frustrated at work. 536 00:31:55,370 --> 00:31:57,760 And I'm unable to process that during that time. 537 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,500 And sometimes you can't because you have to keep moving. 538 00:32:00,510 --> 00:32:04,830 You have to do your work, but what ends up happening is that it culminates. 539 00:32:07,030 --> 00:32:10,210 I think a lot of people understand that you're not, you shouldn't really bottle 540 00:32:10,210 --> 00:32:12,300 up your feelings, but we do it anyway. 541 00:32:13,150 --> 00:32:15,420 And the confounding effects of that are tremendous. 542 00:32:15,460 --> 00:32:19,879 The release of that, when you're able to, is very important. 543 00:32:19,940 --> 00:32:24,790 And so, I feel very privileged that I work for a company where, and I have 544 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:29,990 people that I'm surrounded with at work and at home, where I'm able to 545 00:32:29,990 --> 00:32:33,140 process, for the most part, in real time. 546 00:32:33,150 --> 00:32:36,380 When something is bothering me, I say, I need to get this off my chest. 547 00:32:36,975 --> 00:32:38,875 And so I find those safe spaces. 548 00:32:38,915 --> 00:32:41,195 I also happen to be in charge of a department. 549 00:32:41,195 --> 00:32:45,235 So that's what I mean when I say I'm privileged in that way 550 00:32:45,235 --> 00:32:46,945 because I get to set the tone. 551 00:32:47,305 --> 00:32:51,195 And I've also been on a lot of other situations where the boss, if you 552 00:32:51,195 --> 00:32:55,255 will, although I don't consider myself a boss, but the person in charge just 553 00:32:55,295 --> 00:32:57,065 did not give those opportunities. 554 00:32:57,065 --> 00:33:00,025 So what happens when that's the case? 555 00:33:00,595 --> 00:33:05,065 Mindfulness breathing exercises, which are taught to actors from, for the most 556 00:33:05,065 --> 00:33:10,335 part, Early on when you're training has something has been something 557 00:33:10,335 --> 00:33:14,075 that has been very helpful for me And again, sometimes I just forget oh 558 00:33:14,075 --> 00:33:15,985 my gosh I I haven't done breathing. 559 00:33:15,985 --> 00:33:20,335 I haven't done any mindfulness and I need it because i'm like i'm all over 560 00:33:20,335 --> 00:33:22,215 the place and My heart is racing. 561 00:33:22,215 --> 00:33:24,515 I also suffer from anxiety. 562 00:33:24,555 --> 00:33:28,655 So But it makes sense after everything i've been through in my life that I 563 00:33:28,695 --> 00:33:34,515 overthink everything and so It's very important for me to bring myself to 564 00:33:34,515 --> 00:33:39,205 a place where I'm able to calm myself because that's how I'm able to get in 565 00:33:39,205 --> 00:33:44,025 touch with my feelings, get in touch with myself, and then be compassionate. 566 00:33:44,505 --> 00:33:45,815 I think that's very important. 567 00:33:46,465 --> 00:33:52,654 Now, even with all those tools that we have at our disposal, we're still going 568 00:33:52,655 --> 00:33:56,365 to be very busy working a nine to five and then doing some sort of artistic thing. 569 00:33:57,045 --> 00:34:02,450 Right after this podcast, believe it or not, I'm a glutton for I will 570 00:34:02,450 --> 00:34:06,610 be going into rehearsals for a play and yeah, I can't do this every day. 571 00:34:07,070 --> 00:34:10,220 I need to be careful I need a lot of self care during this time. 572 00:34:10,740 --> 00:34:15,589 And the other thing that I won't do is back to back plays Because I will need 573 00:34:15,589 --> 00:34:20,715 to take a break after this That all goes back to people who are listening to this 574 00:34:20,715 --> 00:34:22,215 would be like, what does that mean to me? 575 00:34:22,245 --> 00:34:25,195 What it means for you is that you need to be in tune with who you are, 576 00:34:25,765 --> 00:34:27,615 understand where your threshold is. 577 00:34:28,045 --> 00:34:30,315 And sometimes that takes a little bit of touching ghost. 578 00:34:30,375 --> 00:34:32,545 You know, you're experimenting with that and then you seal it. 579 00:34:33,075 --> 00:34:35,894 But if you're not in tune with who you are, you won't even know it. 580 00:34:36,345 --> 00:34:39,035 If you spent your entire life ignoring. 581 00:34:39,615 --> 00:34:43,785 the signs that your body, your mind, your spirit have been giving you, and maybe 582 00:34:43,795 --> 00:34:47,495 even the universe, for whatever reasons, and I'm one of those people, that's why 583 00:34:47,495 --> 00:34:52,324 I say that, then you're not going to be able to know when the time is right for 584 00:34:52,325 --> 00:34:56,855 you to pivot, to stop, to keep going, etc. 585 00:34:57,185 --> 00:34:58,085 And that's really important. 586 00:35:00,285 --> 00:35:04,805 I, I, I can really relate to that because, because my nine to fives 587 00:35:04,875 --> 00:35:06,595 were in what's called the resilience. 588 00:35:08,925 --> 00:35:11,335 Everything that you're saying there, I'm like, man, I hear this 589 00:35:11,385 --> 00:35:13,435 all the time, day in and day out. 590 00:35:13,945 --> 00:35:19,195 But I think for the artist, and when you said actors get this breathing training 591 00:35:19,225 --> 00:35:20,835 and checking in with their bodies. 592 00:35:21,325 --> 00:35:24,865 I'm just thinking about all the other artists out there, like musicians 593 00:35:24,865 --> 00:35:30,385 that don't get the training, but an actor does, and thank God I 594 00:35:30,395 --> 00:35:32,155 got that training a long time ago. 595 00:35:32,685 --> 00:35:35,095 Being resilient and being kind to yourself. 596 00:35:35,105 --> 00:35:39,365 I recently had an interview where I was being in, I was actually on the other 597 00:35:39,365 --> 00:35:43,774 side of the microphone being interviewed and, and the interviewer asked me 598 00:35:43,824 --> 00:35:49,200 something to the effect of what, People, what do people not know about you? 599 00:35:49,240 --> 00:35:51,620 And I said to him, I'm not kind to myself. 600 00:35:51,860 --> 00:35:57,910 I'm the type a I'm like, I'm not busy enough and don't give myself enough rest, 601 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:05,240 but I'm learning, especially with my day job and just being a, uh, better artists 602 00:36:05,869 --> 00:36:10,330 than I was when I was 18, when I was starting writing poetry, doing theater. 603 00:36:11,495 --> 00:36:13,235 At the ripe old age of 51. 604 00:36:13,255 --> 00:36:16,325 So you got a couple of years to go, but I'm learning that. 605 00:36:16,325 --> 00:36:21,115 And I probably started when I was 45, uh, 47 learning you need to take care 606 00:36:21,115 --> 00:36:27,504 of yourself, whether it be for your family, for your job, I'm an artist. 607 00:36:27,505 --> 00:36:31,675 I always introduce myself as I'm husband, father, artist. 608 00:36:32,615 --> 00:36:36,774 And that's how I keep all in, in perspective for myself. 609 00:36:38,615 --> 00:36:43,935 Learning to take care of myself as an artist is tough to do because we, 610 00:36:43,975 --> 00:36:47,734 and it sounds like to me, you have a lot of ideas going through your head 611 00:36:47,734 --> 00:36:53,824 that you would love to see either on the stage, on the page or sing for us. 612 00:36:54,284 --> 00:36:55,345 I think that's a huge point. 613 00:36:55,375 --> 00:36:59,664 We all need to take advantage of with organizational psychology. 614 00:37:01,754 --> 00:37:04,805 How does that teach us how to be resilient? 615 00:37:05,105 --> 00:37:06,435 Bring in that nine to five. 616 00:37:06,925 --> 00:37:08,955 Into our artistic practice. 617 00:37:09,495 --> 00:37:10,405 How does that teach us? 618 00:37:11,355 --> 00:37:15,545 I love this question because going back to that synergistic mindset, I 619 00:37:15,545 --> 00:37:19,835 love how psychology is informed my art and my art has informed psychology. 620 00:37:20,790 --> 00:37:24,550 And there, there's a subset of IO psychology and psychology, 621 00:37:24,550 --> 00:37:26,900 generally speaking, that's called positive psychology. 622 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:30,339 And what I'd like to say is number one, the first thing that you 623 00:37:30,339 --> 00:37:34,270 learn about positive psychology is that it is not about ignoring 624 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,220 negativity is not Pollyanna. 625 00:37:37,620 --> 00:37:41,979 It is about acknowledging negativity in your life, but 626 00:37:41,989 --> 00:37:43,889 choosing not to focus on that. 627 00:37:44,459 --> 00:37:47,430 So you, Let yourself be in that. 628 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,650 Did Nietzsche say this, something about if you look into the abyss long enough 629 00:37:51,650 --> 00:37:53,150 you become the abyss, something like that? 630 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,570 I love that, although I probably messed up the quote. 631 00:37:57,250 --> 00:38:01,860 And, the reason why is because, allow yourself to process like I had 632 00:38:01,860 --> 00:38:05,579 said before, negative emotions allow yourself to be there for as long 633 00:38:05,580 --> 00:38:08,010 as you need to, but then move on. 634 00:38:08,710 --> 00:38:12,140 And what that means is Processing time looks like for people is going 635 00:38:12,140 --> 00:38:13,260 to be different across the board. 636 00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:17,400 So I might get really angry about something that takes me days to 637 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:20,690 get over because maybe it triggers something that happened in my 638 00:38:20,720 --> 00:38:24,389 childhood, whereas somebody else will be over it and just five minutes. 639 00:38:25,235 --> 00:38:28,545 And so it's not about comparing, contrasting during their time. 640 00:38:28,565 --> 00:38:31,995 It's about understanding, again, who you are and why you're having 641 00:38:32,045 --> 00:38:34,455 to take five days or whatever it is to process something. 642 00:38:35,035 --> 00:38:36,165 And then being okay with that. 643 00:38:36,205 --> 00:38:37,735 And then moving on and learning from it. 644 00:38:38,275 --> 00:38:41,584 And then one of those models that I really appreciated and I started to 645 00:38:41,584 --> 00:38:43,745 institute in my own life is called PERMA. 646 00:38:44,595 --> 00:38:46,755 And PERMA is P E R M A. 647 00:38:47,225 --> 00:38:49,565 I can go over the acronyms really quickly here. 648 00:38:50,155 --> 00:38:54,265 And what I like to do is tie it to running. 649 00:38:54,615 --> 00:38:59,145 Running, if I may, because I, I don't run as often as I used to, but running 650 00:38:59,145 --> 00:39:05,755 happens to be one of those activities that help me to tap into every facet of PERMA. 651 00:39:05,785 --> 00:39:09,795 And there are artistic endeavors that help me do the same, but I'm going to go 652 00:39:09,795 --> 00:39:12,895 to running because I've used it before, and it's easy for me to remember all 653 00:39:12,895 --> 00:39:14,585 the different ways that it's on PERMA. 654 00:39:15,615 --> 00:39:16,795 So the P in PERMA. 655 00:39:17,010 --> 00:39:22,170 Is positive emotion and positive emotion could be something like your 656 00:39:22,170 --> 00:39:26,140 favorite candy bar But what you have to be really careful about with positive 657 00:39:26,140 --> 00:39:30,500 emotion, whether it's sex candy bars or something other is that every? 658 00:39:30,660 --> 00:39:34,489 Positive emotion has a threshold if you have a cookie, it feels really 659 00:39:34,489 --> 00:39:37,859 good, especially your favorite cookie But maybe after the third or fourth 660 00:39:37,869 --> 00:39:42,209 cookie you start getting diminishing returns And so that's the p and 661 00:39:42,209 --> 00:39:45,199 when i'm running I feel really good. 662 00:39:45,259 --> 00:39:49,320 I may not feel good You Before I run because that's really hard. 663 00:39:49,340 --> 00:39:50,180 I'm like, I don't know. 664 00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:54,800 I'd rather watch tv But it feels good once I start and then it's then it hurts 665 00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:57,990 because like i'm doing something that's very rigorous And then in the middle of 666 00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:02,419 my run, sometimes i'll get this runner's high which feels really good again And 667 00:40:02,419 --> 00:40:04,030 then it goes back to oh this hurts. 668 00:40:04,070 --> 00:40:05,959 I oh man, when is this going to be over with? 669 00:40:07,030 --> 00:40:10,230 And then when i'm done I get another hit of dopamine because I just finished 670 00:40:10,230 --> 00:40:13,410 something and so There's the threshold. 671 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:14,620 I can't run forever. 672 00:40:15,260 --> 00:40:18,790 I can only do about three miles You If I do more than that, I start to get 673 00:40:18,790 --> 00:40:20,760 really serious, diminishing returns. 674 00:40:20,820 --> 00:40:25,560 The P is a part of how you build flourishing and well being in your. 675 00:40:26,740 --> 00:40:27,870 The E is engagement. 676 00:40:28,210 --> 00:40:30,750 And in order to engage with the world around you, you need to 677 00:40:30,750 --> 00:40:32,089 understand what your strengths are. 678 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,080 And then the idea behind. 679 00:40:34,365 --> 00:40:40,475 The E or engagement is that you try to forge ways in your life where you 680 00:40:40,505 --> 00:40:43,465 are creating things that actually help you with your strengths. 681 00:40:44,214 --> 00:40:48,455 One of my biggest strengths and anybody can take this assessment that's online. 682 00:40:48,464 --> 00:40:50,785 It's called the values and action assessment. 683 00:40:50,805 --> 00:40:51,325 It's free. 684 00:40:51,755 --> 00:40:55,485 So I'm not pitching you anything that would cost you money, but you'll 685 00:40:55,485 --> 00:40:56,735 have to give your email address. 686 00:40:56,745 --> 00:40:59,275 So maybe if you had one of those emails that you didn't mind giving 687 00:40:59,275 --> 00:41:03,435 out, what this does, there's a 32 or 34 different strengths. 688 00:41:03,835 --> 00:41:05,915 That have been validated in the research. 689 00:41:06,075 --> 00:41:06,935 Let me fast forward. 690 00:41:06,935 --> 00:41:10,905 Cause I don't want to make it all about the assessment, but my number one strength 691 00:41:10,915 --> 00:41:14,025 for years, cause you could take it every so often, every few years, just to see 692 00:41:14,025 --> 00:41:17,934 if your strengths have changed is the appreciation of beauty and excellence. 693 00:41:18,545 --> 00:41:19,945 And how wonderful is that? 694 00:41:20,245 --> 00:41:21,945 It makes so much sense to me. 695 00:41:22,215 --> 00:41:26,415 And so when I'm trying to forge engagement, I try very hard 696 00:41:26,655 --> 00:41:30,085 to incorporate whether I'm at work or otherwise, some sort of 697 00:41:30,085 --> 00:41:31,535 appreciation of beauty and excellence. 698 00:41:31,825 --> 00:41:32,865 That could be in a report. 699 00:41:33,955 --> 00:41:37,135 It could be in the mountains when I go hiking on weekends. 700 00:41:37,685 --> 00:41:40,185 It could be so many other things, but that's the E. 701 00:41:40,425 --> 00:41:44,235 The R is relationships and it can't just be any relationships. 702 00:41:44,434 --> 00:41:46,915 It has to be positive relationships. 703 00:41:47,035 --> 00:41:49,495 Oh, let me go back to the engagement for, I'm so sorry. 704 00:41:50,074 --> 00:41:53,524 Appreciation of beauty and excellence for me when I'm running is the 705 00:41:53,525 --> 00:41:55,555 appreciation of that I get to run outside. 706 00:41:55,565 --> 00:41:56,835 I only like to run outside. 707 00:41:56,835 --> 00:41:58,135 I don't like running on a treadmill. 708 00:41:58,135 --> 00:41:59,095 That's just my preference. 709 00:41:59,545 --> 00:42:02,885 And the reason why is because it's so beautiful, especially here in Denver. 710 00:42:03,375 --> 00:42:07,125 To run around outside the ours relationships and there has to be good 711 00:42:07,315 --> 00:42:12,595 positive relationships And it can happen many different ways, but for running 712 00:42:12,605 --> 00:42:16,135 it's building that community Just like in the arts where you have a running 713 00:42:16,135 --> 00:42:20,575 community, even if you run by yourself Because then you can go online and talk to 714 00:42:20,575 --> 00:42:22,735 people about, Oh, hey, what's your pace? 715 00:42:22,925 --> 00:42:25,315 What kind of, do you listen to music or do you not? 716 00:42:25,375 --> 00:42:29,095 All those little things you get to learn, even if it's not happening 717 00:42:29,095 --> 00:42:30,454 in real time with other people. 718 00:42:30,505 --> 00:42:32,244 Those are the relationships you forge. 719 00:42:32,864 --> 00:42:37,584 M is meaning and meaning is just that you need to live for more than yourself. 720 00:42:37,815 --> 00:42:39,435 So this could go back to the community. 721 00:42:39,465 --> 00:42:43,395 This could be something like my justification for running is for my 722 00:42:43,395 --> 00:42:45,335 partner so that I live a longer time. 723 00:42:45,355 --> 00:42:48,405 It can be for my parents who are aging and I just want to be there for them. 724 00:42:48,625 --> 00:42:51,375 All sorts of things, but it can't be for, for yourself. 725 00:42:51,434 --> 00:42:53,705 If you're engaging in meeting, it has to be for. 726 00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:55,500 for something other than that. 727 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,820 That's where spirituality comes in as well. 728 00:42:58,150 --> 00:42:59,690 And then the A is Achievement. 729 00:42:59,740 --> 00:43:01,860 And this is, for running it's a no brainer. 730 00:43:01,860 --> 00:43:04,610 When I finish that run, I feel like I've achieved something. 731 00:43:05,090 --> 00:43:09,099 And in the arts, once you complete a project, that's the achievement. 732 00:43:09,170 --> 00:43:13,540 I'm sure people in their mind, I'm hoping, are already connecting it to their art. 733 00:43:13,890 --> 00:43:16,310 Running could be a form of art as well. 734 00:43:17,465 --> 00:43:18,295 It's a sport, right? 735 00:43:18,335 --> 00:43:19,505 Hopefully that's helpful. 736 00:43:19,545 --> 00:43:24,735 And there's many other things, but that's my favorite model to use, implement, 737 00:43:24,735 --> 00:43:28,285 and talk about and to help other people implement it in their lives as well. 738 00:43:28,355 --> 00:43:29,115 It works. 739 00:43:30,174 --> 00:43:33,675 The caveat here is you want to try to get something in your life. 740 00:43:34,140 --> 00:43:35,680 That hits on every aspect. 741 00:43:35,930 --> 00:43:37,190 It's not always possible. 742 00:43:37,190 --> 00:43:39,550 So even if you just get two or three, that's fine. 743 00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,699 The point is to just try things at the challenge yourself 744 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:44,090 to hit on all the aspects 745 00:43:44,090 --> 00:43:44,399 of per 746 00:43:44,399 --> 00:43:44,649 month. 747 00:43:44,790 --> 00:43:46,460 I've hit almost all of them. 748 00:43:46,470 --> 00:43:49,140 Relationships is the thing that I'm working on the most. 749 00:43:49,189 --> 00:43:50,159 That's my weakest one. 750 00:43:50,159 --> 00:43:54,040 I can tell you that right now, but I'm listening to this going, and 751 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:58,150 especially the achievement part at the end, it's getting that project 752 00:43:58,270 --> 00:44:03,520 on whatever it is, doesn't have to be perfect, but it's just, I did this. 753 00:44:03,639 --> 00:44:04,570 I made this. 754 00:44:04,940 --> 00:44:09,200 I've got art all over my wall, as you can see here, and it's not what it looks like. 755 00:44:09,740 --> 00:44:13,220 A fourth Corridor on crack painted it, and I'm okay with that. 756 00:44:13,609 --> 00:44:14,099 It's fun. 757 00:44:14,630 --> 00:44:15,790 It's in my office. 758 00:44:16,270 --> 00:44:18,640 Some of them have actually been shown in galleries. 759 00:44:18,869 --> 00:44:21,180 That's why they're in my office, because they haven't been bought. 760 00:44:21,890 --> 00:44:24,510 But I look at it, and I go, I did that. 761 00:44:24,990 --> 00:44:28,910 Most people that I know that I've worked with, they don't do art. 762 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:30,450 They don't write books. 763 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:31,690 They don't make music. 764 00:44:32,305 --> 00:44:39,665 It'll do podcasts, podcast guy says that achievement really, and I think sometimes 765 00:44:39,665 --> 00:44:44,745 when people are first getting into art, they focus maybe a little bit too much 766 00:44:44,755 --> 00:44:50,744 on that achievement versus the others because to me it feels, and I'm not a 767 00:44:50,745 --> 00:44:55,965 psychologist, nor do I play one on TV or on this podcast, but it seems to be like 768 00:44:55,995 --> 00:44:58,295 a lot of this builds upon each other. 769 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:03,440 And then when you pay for achievement, if you've got your other jobs in a row or 770 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:09,039 most in a decent spot, that achievement is going to be so much better at the end. 771 00:45:09,650 --> 00:45:12,240 I don't, I'm just going to see it or education. 772 00:45:14,660 --> 00:45:17,250 Yeah, no, I think that's absolutely right. 773 00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:22,220 And in some models, they elongated the perm model to say perm of Z. 774 00:45:22,260 --> 00:45:26,520 And just real quickly, that would be a vitality, but there's arguments out there 775 00:45:26,530 --> 00:45:30,390 that vitality could actually be lumped into some of the other elements of permo. 776 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:34,740 And then there's arguments that say the opposite, that no, the V is important, 777 00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,640 an important addition to the model. 778 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:41,330 So, at the end of the day, regardless of how you practice or what you think, 779 00:45:41,339 --> 00:45:44,280 if it's all aspects of PERMA V, etc. 780 00:45:44,809 --> 00:45:49,739 The point is really that what you were saying, it's not, if you're just 781 00:45:49,740 --> 00:45:55,070 fixated on one aspect, it's truly not going to give you as much well 782 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:56,490 being and flourishing in your life. 783 00:45:56,870 --> 00:46:01,590 Then if you open that up to all the other aspects that exist, so I think 784 00:46:01,590 --> 00:46:02,770 that's really what the point is. 785 00:46:02,770 --> 00:46:05,110 It's just looking at things through a different lens. 786 00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,780 So you could say, what am I naturally gravitating towards is really 787 00:46:08,780 --> 00:46:10,259 good at doing like achievement. 788 00:46:10,730 --> 00:46:13,569 And then where are my opportunities for development? 789 00:46:13,580 --> 00:46:16,339 And maybe I just don't engage very much. 790 00:46:16,379 --> 00:46:19,720 And that's the part where I've worked a nine to five. 791 00:46:19,750 --> 00:46:23,265 Now I have this other, Job that I'm giving myself. 792 00:46:23,555 --> 00:46:24,815 How do I engage in this? 793 00:46:25,265 --> 00:46:29,175 And again, going back to what are your inner strengths and how do you make 794 00:46:29,215 --> 00:46:32,235 that kind of happen in front of you? 795 00:46:32,565 --> 00:46:37,474 It's easier said than done because it also takes a good understanding 796 00:46:37,495 --> 00:46:39,514 of what makes you tick, right? 797 00:46:40,415 --> 00:46:43,594 And we think we know ourselves because we were like, Oh yeah, I've been with 798 00:46:43,595 --> 00:46:45,282 myself for as long as I've been alive. 799 00:46:45,282 --> 00:46:46,425 I should know myself. 800 00:46:47,345 --> 00:46:51,145 But we tend to lie to ourselves a lot more often than we even realize. 801 00:46:51,805 --> 00:46:54,695 And on top of that, it's not only about the lies that we tell ourselves. 802 00:46:54,725 --> 00:46:58,615 It's the lies that are given to us out in the mass market and in the media. 803 00:46:59,065 --> 00:47:03,164 And I'm not talking about the political lies that are intentional to try to 804 00:47:03,204 --> 00:47:05,485 change us in some way, shape or form. 805 00:47:05,895 --> 00:47:12,595 I'm talking about the general sort of drumbeat of you must consume 806 00:47:12,815 --> 00:47:15,035 in order for your life to be. 807 00:47:15,310 --> 00:47:20,090 Good, you need more of this and that, and I fall into that trap, even 808 00:47:20,100 --> 00:47:24,640 knowing that I shouldn't, that I'm tied to my phone, as an example, and to 809 00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:30,150 technology, because it's intentionally trying to keep me that way, and it 810 00:47:30,150 --> 00:47:34,234 works, because as much as we know, we shouldn't be tied to all these things. 811 00:47:34,615 --> 00:47:37,935 We still are because that's the psychology that's being 812 00:47:37,935 --> 00:47:40,285 used against us, unfortunately. 813 00:47:40,455 --> 00:47:42,645 And so we'd have to work extra hard for that. 814 00:47:42,835 --> 00:47:49,975 And so how do we build in these moments in our life that cut out the extraneous noise 815 00:47:50,025 --> 00:47:52,375 and allow to live through our values? 816 00:47:52,404 --> 00:47:53,864 That's super important. 817 00:47:54,414 --> 00:47:56,895 But if you don't know what those values are, then you're lost 818 00:47:56,895 --> 00:47:57,825 and you don't know what to do. 819 00:47:57,845 --> 00:47:59,915 How do you validate something that you're not sure about? 820 00:48:00,205 --> 00:48:03,024 And TikTok is not going to tell you what your values are. 821 00:48:03,290 --> 00:48:06,640 I know I've been on TikTok for a couple of years now, it hasn't 822 00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:07,940 told me what my values are. 823 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:14,160 Now, the algorithm is telling me what I'm interested in, supposedly, or 824 00:48:14,219 --> 00:48:15,580 what they think I'm interested in. 825 00:48:16,725 --> 00:48:17,965 It doesn't tell me what my values are. 826 00:48:18,015 --> 00:48:20,245 Maybe I need to start up a TikTok channel that does that. 827 00:48:21,225 --> 00:48:24,025 And one of the tools to do that, if you don't want to take an assessment 828 00:48:24,025 --> 00:48:26,035 as an example, is to ask the five whys. 829 00:48:26,545 --> 00:48:27,855 This is a simple thing. 830 00:48:28,425 --> 00:48:31,764 And they use the number five, but it could be more or less than that number. 831 00:48:31,765 --> 00:48:33,985 And it's simply treating yourself like a little kid. 832 00:48:34,034 --> 00:48:37,824 You say something like, I really love painting pastels. 833 00:48:38,245 --> 00:48:41,545 And when I do, I love painting mountains in pastels. 834 00:48:42,095 --> 00:48:42,785 Okay, great. 835 00:48:43,015 --> 00:48:46,395 So that's an interest, like something that you would find on social media 836 00:48:46,395 --> 00:48:49,075 that would confirm your interest because you think it's beautiful or whatever 837 00:48:49,075 --> 00:48:50,955 and that you find it fascinating. 838 00:48:51,715 --> 00:48:52,215 Why? 839 00:48:53,344 --> 00:48:55,405 And then when you answer that question, why? 840 00:48:55,874 --> 00:48:56,665 Just like a little kid. 841 00:48:57,074 --> 00:49:00,785 Keep asking that question until you get to the underlying reason. 842 00:49:01,005 --> 00:49:01,715 That's a value. 843 00:49:03,054 --> 00:49:04,345 That's what's motivating you. 844 00:49:04,545 --> 00:49:08,475 And it's also really important because what happens the day that I can't 845 00:49:08,485 --> 00:49:11,185 run for whatever reason, which I hope never happens, knock on wood. 846 00:49:11,215 --> 00:49:16,605 As we get older, Sometimes it could be not because we can't do it from 847 00:49:16,615 --> 00:49:19,505 a physical standpoint, but it could be because interests change, we're 848 00:49:19,505 --> 00:49:22,905 getting older, whatever the case might be, we have children now. 849 00:49:23,745 --> 00:49:29,255 Once we get to the core of our values as to why we're so interested in things, 850 00:49:29,725 --> 00:49:35,605 it opens up doorways so that you don't have to do this one particular thing 851 00:49:35,615 --> 00:49:38,625 in pastels and it has to be a mountain. 852 00:49:38,625 --> 00:49:40,925 It could be that. 853 00:49:41,435 --> 00:49:43,685 But it could also be all these other things that hit on that 854 00:49:43,685 --> 00:49:45,195 very same underlying thing. 855 00:49:46,195 --> 00:49:48,015 That's so important for us to understand. 856 00:49:48,845 --> 00:49:53,245 That is, I, I remember when I first started writing poetry, it had to be four 857 00:49:53,245 --> 00:49:55,365 line stanzas, everything had to line. 858 00:49:56,195 --> 00:49:58,865 Yeah, because I learned it from, from church. 859 00:49:58,874 --> 00:50:02,435 You have the hymns that you're singing, four stanzas, four 860 00:50:02,435 --> 00:50:03,795 lines and all that kind of stuff. 861 00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:09,215 And when I got deeper into my practice, I took grocery 862 00:50:09,215 --> 00:50:12,005 lists and said, that's a poem. 863 00:50:12,005 --> 00:50:13,695 And then I performed it in front of an audience. 864 00:50:13,695 --> 00:50:13,805 And 865 00:50:16,515 --> 00:50:19,205 what the hell this, they scratch their head. 866 00:50:19,215 --> 00:50:20,375 They didn't throw tomatoes at me. 867 00:50:20,375 --> 00:50:21,005 Thank God. 868 00:50:21,265 --> 00:50:23,484 Cause I bought all the tomatoes from the grocery store earlier, 869 00:50:23,484 --> 00:50:25,175 but he's reading his grocery list. 870 00:50:25,484 --> 00:50:26,355 Yes, I am. 871 00:50:26,475 --> 00:50:27,155 Enjoy. 872 00:50:27,535 --> 00:50:28,385 And it's been. 873 00:50:29,355 --> 00:50:31,095 It's so great to be able to do that. 874 00:50:31,845 --> 00:50:35,245 I write about a million things, but that was one of my favorite things to 875 00:50:35,245 --> 00:50:40,255 do is to break out of that mold and to explore, because in the world of 876 00:50:40,255 --> 00:50:44,495 the arts, if you're just even just looking at theater, it just that no, 877 00:50:44,525 --> 00:50:50,044 well, we're in it to explore musical theater, which I'm not a huge fan 878 00:50:50,064 --> 00:50:51,884 of, but that's what I'm able to do. 879 00:50:52,594 --> 00:50:56,855 And dramas and comedy, there's so much to explore. 880 00:50:56,865 --> 00:50:59,044 Why limit yourself just to. 881 00:50:59,470 --> 00:51:03,850 In the pastels of the mountains, in Colorado, in Denver. 882 00:51:04,060 --> 00:51:07,470 I love this because this brings me back to why I said performance art. 883 00:51:08,759 --> 00:51:12,715 If I can't do theater, I have to do a presentation at work 884 00:51:12,715 --> 00:51:14,185 more than likely at some point. 885 00:51:14,435 --> 00:51:17,535 Every quarter, there's going to be at least one, sometimes several. 886 00:51:18,205 --> 00:51:19,405 That's my performance. 887 00:51:19,545 --> 00:51:21,995 It's not the same, but it is the same. 888 00:51:22,165 --> 00:51:22,675 You know what I mean? 889 00:51:22,675 --> 00:51:25,234 It's that's where that synergistic mindset comes back. 890 00:51:25,234 --> 00:51:28,224 And it says, I can memorize a monologue. 891 00:51:29,305 --> 00:51:31,285 I can actually create my own script here. 892 00:51:31,325 --> 00:51:33,245 It's going to be specific to my work. 893 00:51:33,685 --> 00:51:37,645 But this is my opportunity to do some semblance of what I 894 00:51:37,645 --> 00:51:39,915 find so exciting in my life. 895 00:51:41,175 --> 00:51:42,375 It's easier said than done. 896 00:51:42,395 --> 00:51:46,205 If I'm a painter, as an example, it's probably a little bit harder to 897 00:51:46,205 --> 00:51:48,154 find ways of painting, but maybe not. 898 00:51:48,194 --> 00:51:49,845 What's underlying the painting? 899 00:51:49,975 --> 00:51:51,605 Isn't the drawing itself? 900 00:51:52,155 --> 00:51:55,555 Is it maybe there's more tactile things that you could do at work that's going 901 00:51:55,555 --> 00:52:01,374 to satiate your need for being on top of that or being engaged in that until 902 00:52:01,374 --> 00:52:03,585 you're able to do that thing again. 903 00:52:04,425 --> 00:52:05,445 But as artists. 904 00:52:05,895 --> 00:52:08,635 We're doing this because it's in our blood, right? 905 00:52:08,695 --> 00:52:10,295 This is how we operate. 906 00:52:10,305 --> 00:52:11,705 This is how we thrive. 907 00:52:11,745 --> 00:52:17,725 And so I think it behooves us to take the time to understand the 908 00:52:17,725 --> 00:52:21,025 commonalities that exist so that we can recreate these moments. 909 00:52:21,560 --> 00:52:26,520 Uh, instead of taking it as like our lives are separated between our nine 910 00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:30,240 to five so that we can allow ourselves to do things that we really want to do. 911 00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:30,980 Dr. 912 00:52:30,980 --> 00:52:32,760 Josh, what is next for you? 913 00:52:32,890 --> 00:52:36,240 Uh, we, we, we have this book out, are, are, are we looking at another 914 00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:38,430 book, uh, coming out anytime soon? 915 00:52:38,609 --> 00:52:43,530 You talked about doing the course and, uh, and, and, uh, doing a play, 916 00:52:43,530 --> 00:52:46,090 uh, do you have another book in you? 917 00:52:46,540 --> 00:52:47,120 Oh yeah. 918 00:52:47,180 --> 00:52:48,390 I have a few more books. 919 00:52:48,390 --> 00:52:48,700 Thanks. 920 00:52:48,700 --> 00:52:48,719 Thanks. 921 00:52:50,150 --> 00:52:55,830 I think at this point, it's me getting myself to sit down like I did 922 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,869 before and dedicate the time for it. 923 00:52:58,880 --> 00:53:04,959 And with this, uh, play that I'll be engaging in for at least the next month 924 00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:07,950 and a half, that'll take up the time. 925 00:53:07,959 --> 00:53:12,230 And then, yeah, we'll see, like I'm in no rush to get more books out, but I 926 00:53:12,230 --> 00:53:14,340 definitely do have them living within me. 927 00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:20,945 And I do know this, that Until the day I die, I dedicated, I have 928 00:53:20,955 --> 00:53:24,365 dedicated my life to being an artist. 929 00:53:24,485 --> 00:53:27,935 Performance art just happens to be the thing that I gravitate 930 00:53:27,935 --> 00:53:32,705 towards, but writing a book is also, like I said, a form of art. 931 00:53:33,315 --> 00:53:37,365 And I will continue to look for different ways that I could just continue being an 932 00:53:37,375 --> 00:53:45,415 artist and help people to be motivated and experience things that allow them to 933 00:53:45,424 --> 00:53:47,095 see that they're not alone in this world. 934 00:53:47,690 --> 00:53:52,170 Any bits of advice or anything that you wish you could have told yourself when 935 00:53:52,170 --> 00:53:57,359 you first recognized that you were an artist, that you're sitting here, uh, 936 00:53:57,410 --> 00:54:01,860 at the young age of 47, that you would like to know back when you were 18. 937 00:54:02,809 --> 00:54:04,930 Yeah, it's a great question. 938 00:54:04,940 --> 00:54:08,450 I think go ahead and have, go ahead and have your goals and aspirations. 939 00:54:09,620 --> 00:54:15,020 Go ahead and dream, reach for the stars, but be okay. 940 00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:21,020 With the realities that life doesn't always pan out exactly the way you wish 941 00:54:21,090 --> 00:54:28,290 or think it should and that's okay and Accepting that can be some of the most 942 00:54:28,570 --> 00:54:33,849 beautiful moments in your life Because again, whether you call it the universe or 943 00:54:33,850 --> 00:54:39,660 something else You being given something as a learning lesson that you can absorb 944 00:54:39,700 --> 00:54:45,020 and take with you And it may not be exactly what you wished it would be but 945 00:54:45,020 --> 00:54:50,605 it's what you have And it's probably more than a lot of other people wish they had. 946 00:54:50,985 --> 00:54:56,495 So that mindfulness comes into play where you're able to just look at 947 00:54:56,685 --> 00:55:00,964 what's happening in the moment in front of you and be appreciative of 948 00:55:00,965 --> 00:55:05,265 that, regardless of what you wish it could have been or should have been. 949 00:55:05,535 --> 00:55:06,315 That's awesome. 950 00:55:06,825 --> 00:55:07,175 Dr. 951 00:55:07,175 --> 00:55:10,195 Josh, thank you so very much for being on the show. 952 00:55:10,195 --> 00:55:16,774 And just for being the genuine you, I can, yeah, we're doing this 953 00:55:16,805 --> 00:55:18,975 via video, but I'm just like, man. 954 00:55:19,890 --> 00:55:21,560 I need to go out and give this guy a big hug. 955 00:55:21,770 --> 00:55:22,940 Thank you very much. 956 00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:23,750 Thank you so much. 957 00:55:23,750 --> 00:55:24,870 That's very kind of you. 958 00:55:24,930 --> 00:55:27,730 And it's been an honor and a pleasure to be here. 959 00:55:27,740 --> 00:55:29,700 Thank you so much for having me on the show. 960 00:55:31,220 --> 00:55:31,670 All right. 961 00:55:31,690 --> 00:55:33,239 That's my interview with Dr. 962 00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:34,440 Joshua Caraballo. 963 00:55:34,910 --> 00:55:36,539 Want to thank him so much. 964 00:55:36,665 --> 00:55:39,895 For all the insight that he gave us in this interview, 965 00:55:40,435 --> 00:55:41,845 definitely check out his book. 966 00:55:41,885 --> 00:55:43,055 I'm not dead yet. 967 00:55:43,435 --> 00:55:48,005 And, uh, while you're looking at that book, go and watch 968 00:55:48,365 --> 00:55:50,075 Monty Python's Holy grail. 969 00:55:50,545 --> 00:55:54,695 You'll understand some of the inside jokes that we had in this interview, 970 00:55:54,745 --> 00:55:56,124 uh, after you're watching that. 971 00:55:57,095 --> 00:56:01,185 So something new that I'm doing here is, and that I'm trying out anyways, 972 00:56:01,205 --> 00:56:06,325 is a couple of affiliate links that I have for you to check out. 973 00:56:06,755 --> 00:56:08,725 The first one is with pod match. 974 00:56:08,975 --> 00:56:14,044 Now, if you're a podcaster looking for guests, or if you're thinking 975 00:56:14,055 --> 00:56:17,915 about becoming a podcaster and you're like, well, where am 976 00:56:17,915 --> 00:56:18,905 I going to get these guests? 977 00:56:18,905 --> 00:56:21,755 Like Tim gets, you can go to pod match. 978 00:56:21,940 --> 00:56:25,540 I have my affiliate link there, so definitely use my affiliate link 979 00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:27,210 when you join up with Podmatch. 980 00:56:27,980 --> 00:56:34,629 And if you are wanting to be a guest on podcasts, well, obviously you can reach 981 00:56:34,630 --> 00:56:37,319 out to me, Timothy at createartpodcast. 982 00:56:37,349 --> 00:56:42,160 com, or you can go into Podmatch and sign up for their service. 983 00:56:42,525 --> 00:56:47,185 And be a, a guest on a number of podcasts that are gonna be matched 984 00:56:47,245 --> 00:56:50,485 with you and with what you're interested in talking about. 985 00:56:51,815 --> 00:56:57,765 Now, if you like the website that you're seeing this podcast on and the 986 00:56:57,765 --> 00:57:04,065 website is create art podcast.com, I use what's called pod page and I 987 00:57:04,065 --> 00:57:05,865 have affiliate link there with them. 988 00:57:06,435 --> 00:57:07,395 Here's the secret folks. 989 00:57:08,105 --> 00:57:10,225 I don't know how to code websites. 990 00:57:10,395 --> 00:57:14,175 I kind of do, but I'm, I'm a little bit dangerous with it. 991 00:57:14,185 --> 00:57:20,955 So I let them go ahead and do my websites and they come out really good. 992 00:57:20,975 --> 00:57:21,975 I really enjoy them. 993 00:57:21,975 --> 00:57:24,044 There's a lot of tools in there that you can use. 994 00:57:24,624 --> 00:57:27,565 And, uh, one of the favorite tools that I like that. 995 00:57:28,355 --> 00:57:33,375 Unfortunately, not a lot of people are using is the voicemail tool so you 996 00:57:33,375 --> 00:57:35,695 can go to my website createartpodcast. 997 00:57:35,715 --> 00:57:43,125 com slash voicemail and you can leave me a voicemail and let me know how I'm 998 00:57:43,125 --> 00:57:48,335 doing, how you enjoyed the interview, any, anything that you want to put there. 999 00:57:48,814 --> 00:57:52,215 Definitely check out the website and check out the voicemail. 1000 00:57:52,495 --> 00:57:57,105 Would definitely love to hear from you and all you got to do. 1001 00:57:57,730 --> 00:57:58,850 Create our podcast. 1002 00:57:58,870 --> 00:58:02,810 com slash voicemail, and you can be featured on this show. 1003 00:58:04,325 --> 00:58:07,685 My last thing that I want to talk about is sharing the show. 1004 00:58:07,815 --> 00:58:11,065 Now, definitely I would love it if you shared the show with your friends. 1005 00:58:11,485 --> 00:58:15,324 If you want to give it a five star review or whatever review 1006 00:58:15,344 --> 00:58:19,394 on your podcast app of choice, by all means, go ahead and do that. 1007 00:58:19,794 --> 00:58:23,724 But the way I share the show is with pod beacon. 1008 00:58:24,484 --> 00:58:29,475 Now pod beacon has technology in wristwatches. 1009 00:58:29,535 --> 00:58:30,715 Well, I call them wristwatches. 1010 00:58:30,765 --> 00:58:34,415 They also have key fobs and a number of other objects that you can use. 1011 00:58:35,190 --> 00:58:38,330 And they're using NFC technology. 1012 00:58:38,780 --> 00:58:41,940 So that way somebody can put their phone over your wristwatch. 1013 00:58:42,635 --> 00:58:47,255 And it'll automatically take their phone right to your website 1014 00:58:47,385 --> 00:58:48,505 where you want them to go. 1015 00:58:48,505 --> 00:58:52,515 So if you have a podcast out there, definitely check that out for yourself. 1016 00:58:52,945 --> 00:58:54,865 It's a great service. 1017 00:58:55,174 --> 00:58:57,474 And I have an affiliate link for that as well. 1018 00:58:57,485 --> 00:59:00,745 So if that's something that you're interested in, definitely 1019 00:59:00,745 --> 00:59:05,125 check out the affiliate link and check out podcast beacon and all 1020 00:59:05,125 --> 00:59:10,430 their wonderful objects, tools, wristwatches, key fobs, what have you. 1021 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:12,800 So that way you can share your podcast. 1022 00:59:13,820 --> 00:59:14,160 All right. 1023 00:59:14,190 --> 00:59:17,549 Enough of the affiliate links and all that kind of good stuff. 1024 00:59:18,090 --> 00:59:22,160 I want to thank you for listening in to create our podcast. 1025 00:59:22,200 --> 00:59:25,840 I do make this show for you and with you in mind. 1026 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:27,970 So if you have ideas. 1027 00:59:28,515 --> 00:59:34,655 Thoughts, critiques, what have you, you can email me timothyatcreateartpodcast. 1028 00:59:34,695 --> 00:59:39,984 com be happy to read what you, uh, would like to hear more of, or if 1029 00:59:39,984 --> 00:59:43,465 you'd like to be a guest, definitely you can reach out to me through there. 1030 00:59:43,684 --> 00:59:48,145 Again, if you're looking to do a lot of podcasts, try Podmatch. 1031 00:59:48,145 --> 00:59:49,215 I think you'll really enjoy it. 1032 00:59:50,610 --> 00:59:54,950 I do run a another podcast called find a podcast about, and you can find that 1033 00:59:54,950 --> 00:59:57,560 at find a podcast about dot X, Y, Z. 1034 00:59:58,270 --> 01:00:01,490 And it has all the same features that create our podcast does. 1035 01:00:01,490 --> 01:00:06,130 You can leave voicemails there and reviews and all that kind of good stuff. 1036 01:00:06,780 --> 01:00:11,880 But in find a podcast about what I do is I search through all the podcasts 1037 01:00:11,890 --> 01:00:15,820 that I can find and bring you the ones that are the most binge worthy, 1038 01:00:16,090 --> 01:00:18,110 thereby saving you a lot of time. 1039 01:00:18,845 --> 01:00:24,545 And, you know, giving you a real personalized. 1040 01:00:25,190 --> 01:00:28,550 Review of these podcasts that I think are very important. 1041 01:00:28,720 --> 01:00:30,220 So check that out for yourself. 1042 01:00:31,290 --> 01:00:35,189 Now, all this is made possible by TKB studios. 1043 01:00:35,710 --> 01:00:41,490 And that is my podcast production company where I help people go through 1044 01:00:41,659 --> 01:00:47,230 all the noise that's out there and cut through it and produce wonderful 1045 01:00:47,290 --> 01:00:51,630 podcasts for you and your business. 1046 01:00:52,230 --> 01:00:56,960 Your projects, what have you, I can help you out with that. 1047 01:00:58,320 --> 01:00:58,590 All right. 1048 01:00:58,600 --> 01:00:59,830 That's all I have for you today. 1049 01:01:00,230 --> 01:01:01,970 I hope this was enjoyable for you. 1050 01:01:02,030 --> 01:01:04,960 I know it was, I know this conversation was really enjoyable for me. 1051 01:01:05,979 --> 01:01:09,620 So now it's time for you to go out there, tame that inner critic, 1052 01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:12,370 create more than you can see. 1053 01:01:12,370 --> 01:01:15,559 Go out there, make some art for somebody you love yourself. 1054 01:01:15,559 --> 01:01:17,490 I'll talk to you next time.