Welcome to Mindset, Mood and Movement. A systemic approach to human behaviour, performance and wellbeing.

I want to share a story. I'm driving fast. I'm on a motorway. I've come back from lunch. I've had a busy week. I've got lots going on and I'm a successful photographer. I'm booked out and life is busy, really busy. There's a lot to contend with. And as I'm going on the motorway, I'm within the speed limit, but I'm going quickly cause there's a lot to do, right? You've always got to maximize time and my mind is full. There's so much going on. Life is busy and all of a sudden, Somebody pulls out into the lane in front of me, going very slowly. I hit the brakes. I skid. The next thing I know I'm turning sideways. I'm careering off into a bush, hedgerow. There's jarring bangs. I find an impact and suddenly I start to barrel roll and time slows down. And then I crash. Now, thankfully, dear listener, Although the car was destroyed, physically, I was fine. I was a girlfriend at the time, and we were both fine. It was chaos. The car was literally destroyed. And unbuckled the seatbelt, got out, and it was just carnage. the whole road had stopped, people had stopped, and a very shocking situation. Now this isn't a story about a car accident, per se. This is a story about when you really crash, because actually, whether it's a car crash, a health crash, a life crash, something will tell you you are going too fast, as it told me. So, fast forward, a couple of days later, I'm doing a shoot, back in the car, driving off to do a shoot, and I was really, of course, reflective on, wow, I may not have been alive. Had I not got lucky, we didn't make impact with anything particularly solid like a tree or lamppost and just rolled and I'm so thankful for this. I'm full of gratitude. I'm still a bit stunned by the whole thing and I finished the shoot. I get home. And that's it. I put everything down. I'm done. I'm done with his mindset. I'm done with his attitude. And the next day I'm like, I'm taking the week off. And I was lucky because it was a really sunny week and there I was sitting in the garden at this magnolia tree and it was starting to come to full bloom. The sun was cascading through. It was just magical. And for the first time in years, I felt a deep sense of peace. You know that, if you've ever had it, even if it's not been around for a while, that absolute peace. And I was like, Oh, this is what I was working for. This is why I was doing all the hard work and the striving, because I believed if my business was such a success and financially successful and had loads of stuff going on, then I would have that feeling. But of course I was greatly mistaken. And the world has shown me a very, very clear message. If you go too fast, literally and figuratively, you may crash. And what do you do after that? And that is the lesson for today that I really want to share. So I work with lots of wonderful people, clever people, smart people, hardworking people, and I'd say there's a lot of people I work with are strivers or seekers. Now this might resonate with you, and it resonates with me, because I've always been seeking and striving, it's a nature of mine, it's a personality aspect. And those of us that work really hard, we'll graft in our work, in our businesses, and put in long hours. And it's not just the hours, it's the attention, the energy. How much time you're always thinking about work. But the problem we have is that we are selling our time. And that means you're selling your life and you can't get a refund. There are no exchanges in time. You can't go back. And what worries me, in my own experience, was If I had kept going, where would I have been? Burnt out, and by the way, I got there at some point later as well. But, if you don't check that whole, what am I doing this for question, and slow down for a period of time, you may well crash too. Now, I work with a guy called, John. And John was a fantastic guy. Super high energy, anxious, very clever and he was building this, music company and it was going really well and of course the parallels with his story like mine were very striking, drafting, driving hard, a lot of work, not putting so much time into exercise or family time and he crashed as well. He didn't crash physically in a car, he crashed, emotionally. which most of us call a burnout and he was working with me not too long after because he was like, what am I doing with my life? What am I doing with my business? How do I get this together? And we did a really nice piece of work over some time where we got him to look at the why question. Why are you doing this? Why work so hard? Because if you don't stop and ask why, as in what's the purpose? What's the end goal? But what's the feeling? Then it becomes this, you know, the hedonic treadmill or the hamster wheel metaphor, you may have heard. And we're just whizzing along and trying harder and harder, and the faster you run, the faster it slips away from you. So with John and I, we worked on this deeper level of okay, I want success, that's okay. Let's define it. What numerical value do you need? What lifestyle? What amount of hours do you work? Who do you see? How fit are you? What do you feel like? And the more we got into the experiential side of the feeling, how would he feel? Then we got into some fantastic stuff and this is one of the other lessons I want to share today is that actually if you've had a crash of any nature, anything that slowed you down massively. Then getting back to that quality of aligning your mind and your body, your thinking, and your feeling. Because if we stick in thinking alone, such as, if business goes 10x, or I can sell a million eBit, or whatever the growth patterns are, or the things that you're aiming to do, then I'll be happy. Now there's nothing wrong with growing a business, and I work with people all the time that grow fantastic businesses. I would say it's the how is where. We often need to do the work because if you show up with energy, passion, interest and are healthy and balanced, your business will grow and so will you. But if you go in and give it all and you are, let's say, what's the old expression? Putting all of your eggs in one basket. There's very easy to drop that basket and then they all crash and the whole house comes down. So looking at how you're thinking. And how you're feeling. And this will be a little lesson you can play with right now. So take one example that's going on for you. And it might be that you're trying to get somewhere with your work or your business, or perhaps it's in your personal life. That one goal, to hold that in your mind. What is the thought that you're having around that? What do you believe? What are your expectations? What do you say about it, such as it will be great when I get to this level, or I'll feel successful when I have this amount of money, or I'll feel really fulfilled when I've grown the company into, a national or global brand, and that's fine. Now dial into the feeling that goes with that thought. What emotion comes up? Is it positive, negative? Is it is? Is it a feeling you can name or is it a multitude of feelings? Again, just sit with that for a moment, right? What feeling comes out when I say I could achieve the thing I want? Now, if there's a sweet spot here, you'll have a thought and a feeling, which is in coherence. Yeah, so it's like in the same level, same kinda harmony. So coherent. If it's incoherent, such as there's still a bit of anxiety about being a millionaire or there's still a bit of fear about being a globally successful brand, then we've got a disconnect here and we got some dissonance going on. So my invitation for you in this little exercise and story that I'm sharing today is to write down, articulate the thoughts you are having about the success point you're chasing. And when you've got that clear, tune into the feeling that comes up when you think about it. And if for any reason they are not coherent, such as if you feel successful, there might be a feeling of joy or peace. or you might be smiling. I'm smiling now as I say this. But if you're thinking when I'm successful, I'll be like, maybe I should be a bit more successful. Then you're on a ruse. You're on a, you're in a mind, spiral, which is always chasing the thing you can't have. So here's the thing. If you're able to feel. What you want now. So if you might feel, for me, peace of mind is very important as is joy. So if I can feel that now, then as I think about my ambitions, my goals and things that love to do in my business and my life, I'm already connected to it as opposed to disconnected. And I say this because when I remember that, traveling in that car that day, I was disconnected. I was trying so hard. I had to get somewhere quickly. I've got more shoots to do. I've got to get back for editing. it was. The hamster on the wheel running faster, and there was no good feeling there. And of course you see it so well when you look in the rear view mirror. Car pun intended, by the way. When you look in that rear view mirror, you go, ah, okay, I see. better to look ahead. Let's summarize. If you're chasing a big goal, great. Ask yourself, why? Get clear on what that you believe that'll get you and then tuning. Can you get a feeling with that now? And is it coherent? If it isn't, that's the time to do some work on this. If it is coherent. Then spend time feeling that feeling because it will help bolster your actions and your thinking. And it's a very powerful way to move forward. So my dear listener, I trust the story of Crash to Awaken has helped you. And as always, you can reach me on the socials. Any platform you found this on, you can reach on Instagram and LinkedIn in particular. And of course, there are details following this in the outro to say, catch me via my website. So do reach out and let me know your experience of this and share your stories too. Until the next time, take care.

Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe. And if a friend would benefit from hearing this, do send it on to them as well. If you would like to get in touch yourself, then you can go to my website. Which is Sal Jeffries dot com, spelt S A L J E F F E R I E S. Sal Jeffries dot com. Hit the get in touch link and there you can send me a direct message. If you'd like to go one step further and learn whether coaching can help you overcome a challenge or a block in your life, then do reach out and I offer a call where we can discuss how this may be able to help you. Until the next time, take care.