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Being a pregnant person in high school at this kind of school

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where it's just not really acceptable and it's just not the norm, The

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girls that you're not friends with that are, you know, the popular girls and like

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the the cheerleaders and stuff, they got real fascinated with me real real

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fast because that 16 pregnant show was the thing that everyone

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watched and was obsessed with. Rise and shine, ladies. You're

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tuned in to skirts up with Samantha and Melissa. We got your daily dose of

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hope and humor while we discuss everything from failing to succeeding and

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all the spiciness in between. Hello.

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Hello. This is Samantha. And this is Melissa. How are you today,

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Sam? I'm great. How are you, Melissa? I am good. I'm

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most excited because I am here with you today, and we are recording

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episode 1, This Is Us. Yeah. How does that make you feel? It's

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kind of exciting because even though we're friends and I know you, I

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don't know you. And I'm really excited to kinda dig deep. Right.

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We never like, I feel like it'll be a surprise of what comes out of

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each other's mouths. I do too. Because we know each other, but Yeah. We can't

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anticipate. No. You never know what's gonna

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happen next. So, Melissa, can you explain why we're gonna start off

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with, fail of the week in the beginning of each episode? Okay. Sure.

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Oh, maybe I should have done a little research and found out the name of

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the person who I'm about to talk about. But there was a person I heard

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once giving a speech and he

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was talking about he seemed kind of a psychiatrist. I'll look it up, you guys.

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Don't you worry. We'll have a link link. Yeah. But he basically was

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talking about how at the end of the day when he sits down with his

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kids at dinner, he doesn't ask them to tell him what went well. He asks

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them to tell him, what did you fail at today?

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So the whole idea is when we fail, that's a

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chance for us to learn. It's a chance for us to grow, and it's also

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a chance for us to won't be okay with failing, honestly. Yeah.

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Finding the positive because we're gonna fail. Shouldn't be failing,

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but we should. And and we're all gonna we are I think all of

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us feel like each day that we failed at something. We didn't do

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something well enough or as best as we could and we didn't see something as

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well in ourselves as we should. And so this is a way to,

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share that fail. But what we learned from it What we learned from it. Yeah.

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Because we wanna we're not just wanting to fail all over the place. Right? Like,

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obviously, we wanna take it and turn it into something good. And not dwell on

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it. Yeah. Like a lot of us do. Not be so hard on ourselves. I

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think that's what we're trying to really improve. That's a big part of it. I

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agree, actually. That is a big part of it. So This first fail

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is actually a joint fail together. Yeah.

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It was fun. So Melissa and I were

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meeting each other and we are meeting to have a

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conversation with, our friend, Lola. And

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we're meeting with her to discuss, having her as a pop in host on

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our show. So, prepare to meet her in the upcoming episodes. I

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think y'all will enjoy her. She's a lot of fun. So,

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Melissa's not there yet. I'm there first. I already feel like I'm late.

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You feel like you're late and I'm not there. That's about right.

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Well, Melissa time is fine. Yeah.

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So I'm sitting there and my husband dropped me off because well,

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I still can't drive and Why can't you drive? Because I got

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seizures, y'all. Yeah. These things are we'll talk about it. We

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will. And so I'm waiting on Melissa and I'm sitting there making sure I'm all

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prepared and the server comes and gets a drink for me some coffee.

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Get some coffee for Melissa. And then I'm sitting there and I go, fuck.

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I haven't driven in so long. I didn't bring my wallet. How am I? Like,

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I can't pay. And so I'm like, oh, man. Okay. So I'm

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late. And now, I can't pay. And I'm like, what am I gonna do?

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And then Melissa shows up. You're like, I'm pretty sure Melissa will get this. She's

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she's gonna be fine. So I get there, and what

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happens first thing is I'm like, okay. So my

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debit card's not working. Great. And,

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honestly, I don't really remember what it was. It just has has I've got a

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new bank account and just kind of, like, changing things over. There was some weird

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stuff. I think what happened is I had just entered the wrong

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PIN. And so I thought it wasn't working. But I ended up

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calling the bank and sound so nice. Well well Wait. Is there

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something I forgot? There is something you forgot. Oh, what happened? You forgot the most

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important thing. Tell me. You forgot your phone. Oh, God.

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So I show up with my phone. I did. No card. You

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show up with your card that's not working. No phone. That's

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actually exactly what happened. See, I can't even

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remember the feels. That's how good I am. It just sweep me right by

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nowadays. Perfect. But anyway yeah. So So I ended

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up having to be like, Sam, can I use your phone? And I never wear

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makeup, and I was all self conscious because I'm like, I think I'm getting makeup

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on our screen. Now you're soaking up my makeup. It's fine. You're so

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sweet. But yeah. So I used her phone. I got my card going

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and She paid for our lunch. That's alright, but it's okay.

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I kind of wanted to anyway because you were helping me out with something else

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that day. Me. So the point is

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we failed collectively, but, collectively,

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we made a whole adult that day. We figured it out. Together.

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And here's the other thing too. Like, if you had been a little bit

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judgmental of me, like, oh my gosh. We're here trying to have a

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meeting. We're trying to get our podcast going. She can't even remember her phone.

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I wouldn't have felt so comfortable being able to get it back

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together with you. Right? But you totally could have judged me and been like,

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this bitch didn't bring her card so that I would pay for her meal. Well,

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that's true. So I guess the lesson that we learned for me, the

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maybe the lesson that I learned is just to kinda, like, not be so

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harsh with ourselves or each other, and we're gonna work it out. We

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can do this. We just gotta be calm. And then my favorite part was

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to end the whole thing. I, my husband was very

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sick, but but was nice enough to

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drop me off. That day. Yeah. And then I was like, well, alright, guys. Peace

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out. I'm gonna go call my Uber. Unless he goes, no. No. No.

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Get in my car. And I'm like, it's like an hour out of your way.

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And she was like, get in my car. And then, she made like You

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make it sound like I kidnapped you? I mean, kinda. But then, I

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make her do these, like, crazy, like, you know, drift maneuver

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off the road, because I'm like, wait, that's my hair salon.

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And she's like, where? And I go, right there. We're passing it. And she does

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this. It, like, it went slide into the

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parking lot. And she goes, okay. What are we doing? And I was like, I

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just need shampoo. But that's okay because I

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really, really wanted to find a new stylist, so I think I'm gonna use your

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girl. Which Kayla's awesome. I can put drop her link there too.

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She's, a hairstylist. She's the blonde goddess as we call her, and she's

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outside of, the Mall of Georgia. So she's great. I'll drop her link. She

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would be happy to meet you. Oh, yeah. And so then we get into the

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salon and I bring up my shampoo and I look at Melissa and I'm like,

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hey, sugar mama. Can I use your card again?

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And we did. We got you your shampoo. I've beenmoed her though. We even

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you she did. And we even remembered to get the shampoo out of the car

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when you got home. We did. Alright. So today is, we

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just want you guys to get to know us, and we wanna share a little

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bit, about ourselves with you. And I'm sure we'll learn something new about each other

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as well, which is always fun. Yeah. So Melissa, I think that

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it'd be really exciting if you take the lead and you share how you got

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here. Yeah. So to

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this earth, I'm a man and a woman. No. No. Yeah.

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No. No. No. Let's get the okay. But actually We all know that

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Adam ate the fucking apple, so let's just get that part.

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Okay. But I do actually wanted I did wanna say that

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even though we're skipping the conception part, she

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just this might take I do think any good

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story starts with the very beginning with mom and dad. So

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I'll just tell you real quick, a little bit about my

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upbringing. My dad and my mom, my dad

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was 27 when he when they met. She was

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19. He was kind of a rogue. Like, he had hitchhiked across the

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country. Nice. He had hitchhiked he's from Kentucky.

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He had hitchhiked out to Utah because his family had joined the Mormon

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church when he was, like, 13. And,

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I think he was just kind of looking for like minded people or something because

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that's what the church kind of, asks you to do.

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So he was out searching for, like, missionary work,

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like, out searching for people to bring back with you? No. He was he was

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still a rogue. Remind remember. Oh, gotcha. No. But I

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think he was kind of looking for some happiness in life. Maybe he was looking

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for a partner. He'd had some failed relationships,

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and I think maybe he thought, oh, if I go to Utah, there's a lot

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more Mormons, and I'll maybe find a wife there or something. Okay. And

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so I'm not saying that's why he went to Utah because I don't know. I

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have not interviewed him as of late.

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But he hitchhiked across the country, ended up in Utah. He

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was just working, as, like, doing handyman

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work for just for different construction companies and stuff. He met my mom.

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She was 19. She, I think

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she never had a chance. I think she kinda went for him because he's the

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bad boy, honestly. I'll be honest. Yeah. She she was

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born and raised Mormon. Yeah. So she had,

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I wanna say, sheltered upbringing, but I'm not so sure. She had a hard one

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because her mom died when she was 13. So I

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remember, like, her story, like, when she got her period, she thought she was dying.

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Oh. Yeah. And she had to call, like, one of her older sisters to help

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her out. And so she didn't have, like, I don't know,

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the smoothest upbringing, but she

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so they met. They got married. Well, actually, I don't know. We apparently, we moved

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14 time they moved 14 times the 1st year 2 years of my

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life. Before they planted the seed, or is this after? This is I was a

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honeymoon baby. Actually, I might not have been

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because I they got married in August, was born in

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April. I was is that 8 months? September,

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October, November, December, January, February, March, April. Yeah. That's 8 months.

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Oh, holy cow. And I was also £12. Holy

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smokes. So how are you gonna tell me I came early? I don't know. Oh,

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my. So they they're they always swore up and down

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that I was a honeymoon baby because, you know, you do not have premarital sex

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in the Mormon church. We moved a lot. My dad and mom, they had

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no money. He ended up joining the army to try to kinda make a

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make a living. So at that point, we moved to California. Until I was

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about 6 or 7, life was pretty easy, pretty great, idealistic, in

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my opinion. Sometimes, I don't know if it's just because that's how I remember

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it because or Rose colored bosses. Like, always growing

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up. Right. Exactly. When I was about 8, things got kind of rough.

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And I just I kind of attribute it to just a lot of

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stress. We ended up moving back to Utah when I was 12.

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And parents super strict in the church. I

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ended up going on a mission when I was 21. I

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I was sent to Japan. And when I was in Japan, I met my now

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husband who we were always just friends.

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So this was in 2,000. I'm 43. I went when I was 21.

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So you do the math. I will not because it'll

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not be accurate. So Brett, was

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19. And when we were out there, we met, and we made friends. And I

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really liked him as a friend. Never really had any of the

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remote romantic ideas, but we stayed friends all these years. I ended up marrying somebody

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else. It did not quite work out, and we can talk about that some other

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day. But, yeah, Brett and I

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reconnected again in 2017.

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Yeah. I think. And I moved back out. I moved out here or not back

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out here. I moved out here. And, yeah. Moved in with

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him. Moved in with him. Let me tell you a funny story. My husband was

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not happy about it. Her husband and my husband, they

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were roommates for a long time. They're BFFs, you know, got that man love

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affair thing going on. Simon even told me he's like, I

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did not happy. Uh-huh. He was pissed. He's like, I don't like you. He told

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oh, you tell. You tell. He's he said that Brett

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asked if Melissa could bring a few things in her

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pets into the house, because Brett was living in it by himself at that point.

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Simon was with me. That sounds just like Brett. And Brett was like,

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yeah. It's just a few things. Pets, like, yeah, that's it. And

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Simon was Simon and I are pulling out of the house and Melissa

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comes pulling in with a giant like the largest U Haul that you can

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get. And Simon's staring at it. And he's looking at Brett

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and he just leaves because he's like, I have nothing. I'm really not happy about

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this. Where's all this stuff gonna go? Like, I'm trying to sell my house. See,

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I didn't even know that part. It was trying to sell it. Brett is so

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good at just not sharing the details. Yeah. Anyways,

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well, there obviously, it wasn't a long hard feeling thing there over

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at you. No. Well, I think we missed we kind of skipped

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over, what made you end up moving back here. So

218
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can you go back and share with us, that you ended

219
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up leaving Mormonism after your mission? I should have

220
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shared that. That is important. It's not a smoothie milestone of my life.

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My whole life, I kinda had, like, a struggle with the

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church. And there were times when I was a teenager when I just was like,

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no. And I wouldn't go to church, but then I'd go back because there's a

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lot of guilt put on you if you're not doing

225
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the right thing. And so, I thought I was a bad person and I

226
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would go back to church. And it was kind of a cycle thing like that

227
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that I was going through. After my mission,

228
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ever since I was little, I remember having actually, I would say this is probably

229
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a pivotal thing. I remember having a friend who I

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must have been in 2nd or 3rd grade because we were living in

231
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Sacramento. And I remember her telling me the story about the

232
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origin of the world, And she had Indian heritage,

233
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American Indian heritage. I'm so sorry. And so she was telling

234
00:14:14,815 --> 00:14:18,040
me, oh, yeah, it started with a piece of clay. And I have to admit,

235
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I don't know where this origin story came from, but it was something that she

236
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believed. It was something her parents taught her. And And I went home and I

237
00:14:24,885 --> 00:14:28,725
told my mom and dad, and they were like, well, that's not true, you know,

238
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because Mormons are very Christian. And so

239
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I was like, well well, she believes it though. Is she lying? And they said,

240
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no. She's not lying. She just doesn't she doesn't believe

241
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she just doesn't have the truth that we have. And I thought, that's really weird.

242
00:14:44,065 --> 00:14:47,105
So, like, how do you know it's true? How does she not know? How does

243
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she like, everyone thinks that was my very first experience of

244
00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:54,330
realizing that there's other truths in the world. There's a lot

245
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of different beliefs in the world and who's to say

246
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what is right and what's wrong. And that's probably something that obviously I'm 43

247
00:15:01,925 --> 00:15:05,444
and it stuck with me all these years. So I would say

248
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that is something that's always been in the back of my head.

249
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So when I came home from my mission, from Japan.

250
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:17,085
Yeah. From Japan. I actually lived in South Carolina at

251
00:15:17,085 --> 00:15:20,465
that point. I moved home there, because my parents had moved.

252
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And they so yeah. So I don't

253
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know. Like, I could say I tried to stay active in the church because I

254
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thought that's what I was supposed to do, but I just had a hard time

255
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with it. I've I've I've always kinda struggled with this since I was young, to

256
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tell you the truth. The thing that made me actually get my name off the

257
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records of the church to where I said I want nothing to do with the

258
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church. And now, please, guys, we

259
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:46,839
know that there might be Mormons listening to this too.

260
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And if that's the path you're on, that is I no judgment.

261
00:15:51,035 --> 00:15:54,795
I have family members that are still very active

262
00:15:54,795 --> 00:15:58,310
in the church. I love them and I think that we're all on our own

263
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path. But I will say what happened for me was

264
00:16:02,150 --> 00:16:05,904
I started doing a little bit of more research. I started realizing I could go

265
00:16:05,904 --> 00:16:08,725
into a lot. There's that that's got to be another episode.

266
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But, 2 things. One is they came

267
00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:16,760
out with a proclamation telling a proclamation

268
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saying, if you wanna be baptized, but your parents are

269
00:16:20,815 --> 00:16:24,575
gay, you've got to denounce them. Oh my. Yeah.

270
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Before you can get that baptized. And I just thought gotta choose between

271
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religion or your parents? Yeah. I thought that was disgusting to me.

272
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Interesting. And so it was it was like,

273
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I'm sure there's, like, gray areas where we're like, yeah, you could still live. You

274
00:16:38,795 --> 00:16:42,555
could still live with your family. Love the sinner. Hate the sin. I don't believe

275
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in that. I think that because I don't think it's a

276
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sin, by the way, to be gay. But anyway

277
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yeah. So that was really hard for me to understand. And then that's when I

278
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started doing even more research. And then I found out that the church

279
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who prides themselves on being,

280
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very philanthropic and giving money. And so, like, if there's

281
00:17:05,930 --> 00:17:09,095
any kind of a disaster, they send all of the members of the church. We,

282
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like, go there. I've been on so many service projects in my life, like

283
00:17:12,694 --> 00:17:16,534
helping out, disasters, like Hurricane King Katrina and

284
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stuff like that. And the church will send food and stuff like that.

285
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And I realized all of that was done by the members of

286
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,904
the church. First of all, the church has 1,000,000,000.

287
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The the food and money that they do provide, I found out was

288
00:17:33,085 --> 00:17:36,330
less than what Walmart actually gives to charity.

289
00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:40,710
Interesting. Yeah. In, like, according to, like, what they

290
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actually own. So that kind of pissed me off. I thought, well, their

291
00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:47,995
whole thing is to be loving and service

292
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like like based on service. And they don't even donate as much as

293
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Walmart does to charity. And that just it really

294
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pissed me off. And so I just took my name off the records, and I

295
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was like, I want nothing to do with the church. Okay.

296
00:18:01,934 --> 00:18:05,695
That was that's only a peak. You know, obviously, there's a lot

297
00:18:05,695 --> 00:18:08,755
more to it than that when you try to leave

298
00:18:09,135 --> 00:18:12,669
something that you were raised in that

299
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Yeah. Made And I'm sure there are several people that have had to break ties

300
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:20,145
with family members and religion as well. And I think that that would be,

301
00:18:20,145 --> 00:18:23,985
like, another great episode to, get others feed in

302
00:18:23,985 --> 00:18:27,745
and opinion on and have a whole dig into that. It wasn't

303
00:18:27,745 --> 00:18:31,330
easy by any means. Like, I didn't even tell my parents for a couple years.

304
00:18:31,550 --> 00:18:35,310
Mhmm. And then I found out that they had left too. And

305
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:39,034
that's what my story. I did not know that. Yeah. Yeah. It's very

306
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:42,875
interesting. So you broke up with religion and then you

307
00:18:42,875 --> 00:18:46,554
moved to Georgia. Okay. So I broke up with religion, then I got

308
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divorced, not because of that, but it didn't help. I'll be

309
00:18:50,100 --> 00:18:53,539
honest. And then Brett and I lived in Texas at the

310
00:18:53,539 --> 00:18:57,235
time. Brett lived in Georgia. And since

311
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I was getting divorced, we kinda, like, reconnected. I

312
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think he just knew I was going through some things and reached out to me.

313
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And we also are super big geeks and we play we love board

314
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,100
games. And in Georgia, there's a convention.

315
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It's a board game convention. It's called the board game geek convention,

316
00:19:16,904 --> 00:19:20,559
and, they have it every year. And Brett wanted to come out to it for

317
00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:24,320
the 2nd time, actually. But since we're reconnecting, he wanted to come out, and I

318
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:27,759
was like, yeah. Do. And then I started, like, oh, he's kinda cute. I think

319
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I might like him. I don't know. And we kinda hooked up.

320
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Nobody hooked up. Oh, cool.

321
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Spicy. I know. Especially for a little Mormon girl.

322
00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:42,490
But, because at this time, Brett had also dropped off of Mormonism.

323
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But we did it separately, which I really like because

324
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I think it can be really easy to just do something because your spouse does

325
00:19:50,515 --> 00:19:54,275
it. Yep. If that makes sense. It came about. So he visited. We

326
00:19:54,275 --> 00:19:57,760
went to the con together. I stayed with him in his hotel

327
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room. Where it got spicy.

328
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,179
It did. It got really spicy. Okay. So

329
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:09,315
it's actually a funny story. So I want to hear share that. Yeah. I want

330
00:20:09,315 --> 00:20:11,735
to hear about that one day. Yeah, we will. It's the beginning. Now the morning

331
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:15,634
spiciness. Oh, God. Well, we were both expo at

332
00:20:15,634 --> 00:20:19,370
that point, and we both were not virgins anymore. But it

333
00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:23,105
was still funny because you have, like, these deep seated, like, what I'm doing

334
00:20:23,184 --> 00:20:26,225
isn't good feeling sometimes, but then that makes it all the more

335
00:20:27,265 --> 00:20:30,325
alright. Anyway, moving on.

336
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:35,039
Brett went back to, Georgia, and we talked

337
00:20:35,039 --> 00:20:38,400
on the phone, and it got to the point after about 6 or 7 months.

338
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Got to the point where it was like, I needed to move out here or

339
00:20:42,595 --> 00:20:45,794
what's the point? And apparently, I was just supposed to bring a few things and

340
00:20:45,794 --> 00:20:49,549
then my pets. I didn't know that. And they brought my whole house, whole life.

341
00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:53,929
Who's doing our whole life, as you should, moving in with a boyfriend? I mean

342
00:20:54,010 --> 00:20:57,195
I mean, it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. I had no idea

343
00:20:58,554 --> 00:21:02,174
that I didn't ask for it. I did say. It's Simon okay with this.

344
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:07,029
Anyway, so yeah. And then I met you. And

345
00:21:07,029 --> 00:21:10,570
then from there, my understanding is that you found,

346
00:21:11,110 --> 00:21:14,950
a a quilting shop and you became really

347
00:21:14,950 --> 00:21:15,365
interested in

348
00:21:24,510 --> 00:21:28,270
lab technician, my friend, one of my friends and I well, I said

349
00:21:28,270 --> 00:21:31,550
one of my friends, but it was 2 team. And they came back from Amish

350
00:21:31,550 --> 00:21:35,365
country and, and they're showing me pictures. And I was like, I always

351
00:21:35,365 --> 00:21:38,405
wanted to make a quill, and she said I have to. And then I thought,

352
00:21:38,405 --> 00:21:42,150
well, what's stopping us? So we ended up finding a

353
00:21:42,150 --> 00:21:45,910
class by going online and finding out a quilt shop offered classes. I

354
00:21:45,910 --> 00:21:49,270
didn't even know quilt shops existed. I literally thought you just get your

355
00:21:49,270 --> 00:21:52,745
fabric at Joanne's and Same dude. Yeah.

356
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:56,585
Hancock's. I didn't know. I went into the quilt shop. I was probably

357
00:21:56,585 --> 00:22:00,424
one of those annoying people. Now I know. Because

358
00:22:00,424 --> 00:22:03,610
I was like, I wanna make that quilt. And they're like, that's not for beginners.

359
00:22:03,610 --> 00:22:06,890
And I said, that's okay. I'm gonna do it anyway. And they're like, it's a

360
00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:10,575
lot harder on our teachers, but whatever. But, yeah, I made

361
00:22:10,575 --> 00:22:13,855
my first well, I made all the quilt blocks. I did not put them together

362
00:22:13,855 --> 00:22:17,615
in a quilt. Then I kind of made some baby quilts on my own. And

363
00:22:17,615 --> 00:22:21,370
then when I moved here, Brett's mom was a quilter, and I just didn't realize

364
00:22:21,370 --> 00:22:24,570
that that was, like, one of her the loves of her life. And so when

365
00:22:24,570 --> 00:22:28,345
I moved here and was looking for a job, she one of the other ladies

366
00:22:28,345 --> 00:22:32,105
there was trying to move out on her own. And

367
00:22:32,105 --> 00:22:35,885
so, they were trying to replace her, and they hired me,

368
00:22:36,100 --> 00:22:39,700
and I loved it. I found out that these things called long arms

369
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:43,000
exist and they are 12 foot long,

370
00:22:43,860 --> 00:22:47,304
frames with huge, like, 20 inch throat and

371
00:22:47,304 --> 00:22:50,985
larger machine sitting on them that do the quilting of the

372
00:22:50,985 --> 00:22:54,745
quilts. And then when that shop closed, I branched out and decided to open

373
00:22:54,745 --> 00:22:58,559
my own. I will say this, I would not have done it if it weren't

374
00:22:58,559 --> 00:23:02,400
for Jeannie Sullivan. Oh. She is the one who

375
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:06,085
owned a Georgia Sewing and Quilting, and she called

376
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:09,924
me multiple times and gave me pep talks. And she was basically saying,

377
00:23:09,924 --> 00:23:12,804
look, you're buying my long arm when I close. And I was just gonna try

378
00:23:12,804 --> 00:23:16,640
to quilt quilts for people. She goes, you're already a technician.

379
00:23:16,860 --> 00:23:20,539
You really need to be a dealer. And I said Because how easy is it

380
00:23:20,539 --> 00:23:24,195
to find a dealer? It's not common. It's not super common. I would

381
00:23:24,195 --> 00:23:27,955
say there's a dealer here in, well, me in Suwanee,

382
00:23:27,955 --> 00:23:31,500
and there's one in Marietta, and there used to be one in south of

383
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:35,260
Atlanta. She's not eating there anymore, though. So, yeah. So she

384
00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:37,420
was like, look, you really need to do that. I said, but you have to

385
00:23:37,420 --> 00:23:40,014
have a storefront. I don't know how I would ever do that. I don't have

386
00:23:40,014 --> 00:23:43,715
the money to have a storefront. And she just basically

387
00:23:43,855 --> 00:23:47,640
said, look, you're a strong woman. Things were hard for me. I

388
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,480
was homeless at one point in my life. Yes. And now she's this

389
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,835
businesswoman that and she just gave me

390
00:23:56,655 --> 00:24:00,415
the motivation to at least just try. And so I got

391
00:24:00,415 --> 00:24:04,210
an LLC, and I found a way to open a very

392
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:07,910
tiny 650 square foot storefront. And,

393
00:24:08,690 --> 00:24:12,310
now this year, I've been in business about 2 years, and now we're gonna

394
00:24:12,310 --> 00:24:16,073
be we've been doing a couple shows. We're gonna be in one of the

395
00:24:16,073 --> 00:24:19,760
biggest shows in the area in March. So it's kinda crazy. It's at the

396
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:23,600
main arena for us too. Which arena is that? It's, Gas South is what it's

397
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,135
called now. It used to be Infinite Energy Center. Mhmm. Yeah. Nothing

398
00:24:27,135 --> 00:24:30,655
changes all the time. Yeah. So every year it's called the Sewing and Quilting Expo,

399
00:24:30,655 --> 00:24:34,335
and I get to be the handy quilter dealer there. Whoop whoop. I know.

400
00:24:34,335 --> 00:24:38,150
Sounds like a a win. I know. It's kind of amazing

401
00:24:38,150 --> 00:24:41,990
to think how far we can go with each

402
00:24:41,990 --> 00:24:45,825
other because, again, sure, maybe I could have done all that on

403
00:24:45,825 --> 00:24:49,585
my own, but I wouldn't have. I just I just wouldn't have in your

404
00:24:49,585 --> 00:24:53,184
head. Yes. It was Jeannie. And so we need that person that we can share

405
00:24:53,184 --> 00:24:55,880
like that back voice in our head and just, you know, kind of shrugging it

406
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,720
off and then someone will tell you, like,

407
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,815
I'm you'll get that handful of people that tell you like, oh, yeah. That would

408
00:25:02,815 --> 00:25:06,575
be nice. Okay. But then I straight up had an old boss tell me

409
00:25:06,575 --> 00:25:09,855
I was out in fucking left field because I wanted to become a dentist at

410
00:25:09,855 --> 00:25:12,380
one point. And I think that that's just how it is. I think the majority

411
00:25:12,380 --> 00:25:15,260
of people are like, yeah. Okay. Like Yeah. I know that I wouldn't be able

412
00:25:15,260 --> 00:25:18,860
to do that and you sure can either. But it just takes that one

413
00:25:18,860 --> 00:25:22,665
voice, that one person to be like, no. It's insane that you think

414
00:25:22,665 --> 00:25:26,425
that because you can do it. Like Yeah. It is yours. You just gotta make

415
00:25:26,425 --> 00:25:30,220
it happen. Yeah. It's true. And you did. Well,

416
00:25:30,220 --> 00:25:33,980
thank you. So your quilt shop is called the Oh, yeah.

417
00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:37,820
It's called A Crafted Cottage. I wanna

418
00:25:37,820 --> 00:25:41,174
get some shirts that say craft your cottage. I think that would be so

419
00:25:41,174 --> 00:25:44,934
cute. Yeah. Yeah. We like to support as many of the local ladies as we

420
00:25:44,934 --> 00:25:48,190
can here. So That is. Actually, that's one of the main reasons we try to

421
00:25:48,350 --> 00:25:51,650
we decided to start this. Yeah. So we partnered partnered.

422
00:25:52,110 --> 00:25:55,789
We're, you know, cross referencing with several of the ladies

423
00:25:55,789 --> 00:25:59,315
around us, and they all make some really beautiful stuff. So

424
00:25:59,534 --> 00:26:03,294
Yeah. You can check their links out there. Melissa will have the Crafted Cottage link

425
00:26:03,294 --> 00:26:06,710
down there if you wanna learn about quilting. If you live nearby and We do.

426
00:26:06,870 --> 00:26:09,750
Wanna check it out. Or if you have any questions and you may not live

427
00:26:09,750 --> 00:26:13,345
nearby, she can probably help you find a shop near

428
00:26:13,345 --> 00:26:17,184
you to learn. Absolutely. Absolutely. Give me some tips. She's gonna start doing some

429
00:26:17,184 --> 00:26:20,865
videos and posting them on how to even start, and that's really

430
00:26:20,865 --> 00:26:24,539
helpful. So how do you get here? How did I

431
00:26:24,539 --> 00:26:27,980
get here? What's here? Like, in your house? Skirts

432
00:26:27,980 --> 00:26:30,965
up. Skirts up? Okay. This is the fun part.

433
00:26:31,424 --> 00:26:35,024
Okay. It was you. Another one.

434
00:26:35,024 --> 00:26:38,725
Another situation no. Don't even. She's gonna try to be, like,

435
00:26:39,010 --> 00:26:42,710
okay. But remember here, we're trying to save face with my friends, so

436
00:26:42,770 --> 00:26:46,470
cut that out. Melissa

437
00:26:47,010 --> 00:26:50,655
was What happened is I said I've always wanted to

438
00:26:50,655 --> 00:26:54,495
start a podcast, and my friend Sam said, yeah,

439
00:26:54,495 --> 00:26:58,175
me too. And I was like, again, oh god. It's the same thing

440
00:26:58,175 --> 00:27:01,680
in reverse. It is the same thing as I've always wanted to make a

441
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:05,280
quilt. Yeah. Me too. And then what's

442
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:09,025
stopping us? And then literally, it was

443
00:27:09,025 --> 00:27:12,545
Sam. I have said that so many times in my life. Like, I kinda wanna

444
00:27:12,545 --> 00:27:16,085
do a podcast. How well,

445
00:27:16,230 --> 00:27:19,990
she texted me. She goes, here's some mentors. Here's this. Here's that. I'm

446
00:27:19,990 --> 00:27:23,590
doing research on the equipment that we

447
00:27:23,590 --> 00:27:27,125
need, this this stuff. And I was just

448
00:27:27,365 --> 00:27:30,745
So are you in? I know. And I was like, oh, damn. She's serious.

449
00:27:31,685 --> 00:27:35,440
I mean, I was serious that I would

450
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:39,059
do it, but I obviously wasn't serious serious enough to, like, you know,

451
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:42,240
get to it. And she did. She got to it, and it was I'm very

452
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:45,904
proud of you. Oh, thanks. Yeah. I'm very proud of you because this

453
00:27:45,904 --> 00:27:49,585
has been well, first of all, huge learning curve, and we'll probably

454
00:27:49,585 --> 00:27:53,270
still keep learning. It's been so fun. It has been

455
00:27:53,270 --> 00:27:57,030
fun. And I'm just excited to be able to hopefully bring other women

456
00:27:57,030 --> 00:28:00,490
together and just, like, give you guys the nudge that you need

457
00:28:01,625 --> 00:28:05,465
to That is what our community, our face Facebook, our social media

458
00:28:05,465 --> 00:28:09,225
community will be. It's gonna be like that voice to give each other, like,

459
00:28:09,225 --> 00:28:12,970
yeah. You can. Do it. Because I was there and I did it.

460
00:28:13,190 --> 00:28:16,790
Because there's always gonna be that one person. You're you're never the only. So you

461
00:28:16,790 --> 00:28:20,255
tell me then. I said I always wanna start a podcast and you're like,

462
00:28:20,255 --> 00:28:23,775
yeah, me too. What made you tell us how you got

463
00:28:23,775 --> 00:28:27,139
here. I wanna know where you came from. Well, I

464
00:28:27,139 --> 00:28:30,820
mean, nothing significant growing up. We moved around a lot

465
00:28:30,820 --> 00:28:34,500
too, but not I mean, not because we're military or

466
00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:38,335
anything. We just if I moved around to like 8 different states about

467
00:28:39,755 --> 00:28:43,595
and then once I was in middle school, we landed in Georgia. And

468
00:28:43,595 --> 00:28:47,409
that's just where where I stayed. And then when I was

469
00:28:47,409 --> 00:28:50,630
in high school, I ended up having a baby.

470
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:55,575
So I was that 16 and pregnant person, not on

471
00:28:55,575 --> 00:28:57,355
the TV show. That'd be wild.

472
00:28:59,255 --> 00:29:02,890
But, so yeah. So I was my

473
00:29:02,890 --> 00:29:06,650
junior year, the end of my junior year, pregnant when

474
00:29:06,650 --> 00:29:10,345
I started the show and I just had

475
00:29:10,565 --> 00:29:14,325
some teachers pull me inside and be like and just straight up

476
00:29:14,325 --> 00:29:17,845
ask me like, are you pregnant? And then, you know, not gonna lie. I

477
00:29:17,845 --> 00:29:21,350
mean How did you like tell us more. I

478
00:29:21,350 --> 00:29:25,190
mean, did your mom knew already and you guys just hadn't told

479
00:29:25,190 --> 00:29:28,950
anyone else? Or Oh, yeah. My mom knew before I started showing.

480
00:29:29,097 --> 00:29:32,684
Keep it? My mom knew I was pregnant before I started showing. I told

481
00:29:32,684 --> 00:29:36,205
her, I actually found out I was pregnant on my

482
00:29:36,205 --> 00:29:39,920
birthday. Wow. Yeah. So that

483
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,760
was, birthday surprise. But, How did

484
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,805
your mom handle it? It sounds like you had a good relationship. We had a

485
00:29:46,805 --> 00:29:50,405
good relationship. We were living on our own. She had separated from my

486
00:29:50,405 --> 00:29:53,925
dad for like the first time, maybe. And,

487
00:29:54,165 --> 00:29:57,750
so we're living on our own and she was really upset and really bummed. And

488
00:29:57,750 --> 00:30:01,510
I, you know, I think like any mom that has high hopes from

489
00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:04,377
their kid, like had that in the back of their head of like she doesn't

490
00:30:04,377 --> 00:30:08,145
have to do this. She doesn't have to have a baby. Like you're in high

491
00:30:08,145 --> 00:30:11,640
school and you you got things to do. But I was like, I don't know

492
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:15,320
that I want to consider that. Yeah. It's is what it

493
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:19,160
is. She supported you in what you wanted to do. Yeah. Keeping the baby.

494
00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:22,835
So I decided to keep him. And so I started showing

495
00:30:22,835 --> 00:30:26,055
the end of my junior year. Teachers were pulling me aside and,

496
00:30:26,675 --> 00:30:30,375
you know, would ask me if I'm pregnant. I had one teacher straight up

497
00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:33,880
telling me that I don't belong in the school if I'm gonna be pregnant.

498
00:30:33,940 --> 00:30:37,620
Really? Yeah. Now that person has stuck with me and I actually saw that

499
00:30:37,620 --> 00:30:41,414
teacher when I was

500
00:30:41,794 --> 00:30:44,995
I was engaged and me and my bridesmaids were out at,

501
00:30:45,394 --> 00:30:49,120
in Walmart and we were goofing off. We were getting some alcohol, just goofing off

502
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:52,580
in the store. And I remember I was wearing a crop top and I remember,

503
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:56,625
like, turning a corner, an aisle and becoming face to face with

504
00:30:56,625 --> 00:30:59,825
that teacher that told me he did not approve of me being in school and

505
00:30:59,825 --> 00:31:03,345
did a lot that he could to make sure I didn't graduate. Oh my god.

506
00:31:03,345 --> 00:31:06,637
Yeah. And I remember just stopping in my tracks and we're just face to face

507
00:31:06,637 --> 00:31:10,032
and I'm like looking at him and I'm like, yeah, this dude probably thinks that

508
00:31:10,032 --> 00:31:13,335
I went real far. Here I am in a grocery store, no baby in a

509
00:31:13,335 --> 00:31:17,015
crop top with alcohol in my hands and I just turned around real fast and

510
00:31:17,015 --> 00:31:19,975
it was just like that freeze freeze sponge. You didn't know what to do? Fight

511
00:31:19,975 --> 00:31:23,320
or flight? Yep. It was I got the the freeze and,

512
00:31:23,780 --> 00:31:27,540
I left the store real fast. Man. And you

513
00:31:27,780 --> 00:31:30,434
I don't know. If it was me, I'd be like, man, I wish I said

514
00:31:30,434 --> 00:31:33,495
this. I wish I did that. Or do you just feel like,

515
00:31:34,115 --> 00:31:37,929
no. It was best. I don't know. I just I don't know. It

516
00:31:37,929 --> 00:31:41,529
just is what it is. That's just who he was. And so

517
00:31:41,529 --> 00:31:44,830
then I'm still I'm obviously mega pregnant when senior year starts.

518
00:31:45,475 --> 00:31:49,235
So there is no secret there. And then also I

519
00:31:49,235 --> 00:31:52,835
have special treatment that I get to leave. My classes are really, because I'm so

520
00:31:52,835 --> 00:31:55,870
big and I need to like waddle through the hallways before everyone else gets out

521
00:31:55,870 --> 00:31:58,690
there. I remember being so

522
00:31:59,390 --> 00:32:02,845
embarrassed because people would look at me and like, you know, make faces

523
00:32:03,065 --> 00:32:06,505
and, you know, point, oh, there's the only pregnant girl in the

524
00:32:06,505 --> 00:32:10,264
school. Yeah. And, so I was an ROTC and all the

525
00:32:10,264 --> 00:32:14,080
ROTC ROTC boys would they, like, would make arrangements

526
00:32:14,860 --> 00:32:18,399
behind my back and 2 of them would always be near my classroom

527
00:32:18,755 --> 00:32:22,195
at all times interview? To walk me to my next class. And you didn't know?

528
00:32:22,195 --> 00:32:24,995
I didn't know that they had arranged. I would just always be like, oh, why

529
00:32:24,995 --> 00:32:28,720
are y'all here? And they're like, oh, well, we just run into you. God

530
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,679
makes my heart melt. They saved me. Yeah. I would always have 2 guys walk

531
00:32:31,679 --> 00:32:35,174
me to class because they didn't, you know, they wanted to make sure that, behind

532
00:32:35,174 --> 00:32:38,615
my back, they'd they'd, like, stay kinda behind me. And then if anyone, like, gave

533
00:32:38,615 --> 00:32:41,895
me looks and I wouldn't even notice, they'd be giving them mean mean mugs. And

534
00:32:41,895 --> 00:32:45,690
I'm like Okay. Don't you dare. Loved it. I

535
00:32:45,690 --> 00:32:49,370
was really close with my friends. Just about all of my

536
00:32:49,370 --> 00:32:52,975
teachers would send me to principal's office any chance that they

537
00:32:52,975 --> 00:32:56,655
got. So if I like walked into my classroom while the bell was

538
00:32:56,655 --> 00:33:00,255
ringing, they'd be like, go get a, a late

539
00:33:00,255 --> 00:33:03,630
tardy slip. Oh my God. And so that would happen so often. If

540
00:33:03,630 --> 00:33:07,149
I looked at a teacher wrong, spoke to a teacher wrong, if I was wearing

541
00:33:07,149 --> 00:33:10,915
2 shirts, like highly covering

542
00:33:10,915 --> 00:33:14,675
my chest, they I would get sent to the principal's office. And so

543
00:33:14,675 --> 00:33:18,115
I was getting sent out of class so much for normal things that everyone does

544
00:33:18,115 --> 00:33:21,670
and like the rules were just somehow like more aggressive for me. I guess remember

545
00:33:21,670 --> 00:33:24,390
we're in the cell, then it's just a little more. And this is one of

546
00:33:24,390 --> 00:33:28,070
those high rated schools, in Georgia. And so I would get so much

547
00:33:28,070 --> 00:33:31,815
that I would then end up in detention, like mega pregnant after

548
00:33:31,815 --> 00:33:35,575
school. And, and I had one teacher and she

549
00:33:35,575 --> 00:33:39,419
was she was really cool. We're still, you know, follow each other on social

550
00:33:39,419 --> 00:33:42,700
media. She was like the one person that would come and sit with me and

551
00:33:42,700 --> 00:33:46,059
ask me how I'm doing. And if I needed, like, to leave

552
00:33:46,059 --> 00:33:49,445
class early, if I needed like something extra, she would always pull me

553
00:33:49,445 --> 00:33:53,125
aside, chitchat with me, tell me how special it is that like

554
00:33:53,125 --> 00:33:56,200
I'm still here and that I'm pregnant and I can still do it and then

555
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,980
I'm gonna graduate. And, I mean, what the fuck? Like, pregnant

556
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:03,785
mothers need an education too. Like, does he I'm

557
00:34:03,785 --> 00:34:06,505
so mad at that other teacher. Does he not care about the future? I mean,

558
00:34:06,505 --> 00:34:10,239
but it wasn't just him. It was many teachers holding him to the I'm so

559
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,920
glad that you had her. Did you feel like she kind of like, obviously,

560
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:17,760
you remember her still today. She was very compassionate. One of the

561
00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,405
things that I remember is that she had shared

562
00:34:21,405 --> 00:34:24,925
that, you know, she can she feels this compassion

563
00:34:24,925 --> 00:34:28,679
because, she does have a strong religious belief, but also she had

564
00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:31,440
been trying many years to have a baby with her husband and it wasn't hell

565
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:35,340
like happening. And so she was kind enough to,

566
00:34:35,715 --> 00:34:39,475
you know, be like, okay, well, you know, this child

567
00:34:39,475 --> 00:34:43,155
is having a child, but I'm still gonna help where I can and support that.

568
00:34:43,155 --> 00:34:46,750
And I think that was really special in it. And I remember it just it's

569
00:34:46,750 --> 00:34:50,517
always made me like, just a little emotional because then she ended up

570
00:34:50,786 --> 00:34:54,614
I'm getting chills. She ended up she has 2 babies now. And

571
00:34:54,614 --> 00:34:57,054
so when I found out that she was having her first baby, I was like,

572
00:34:57,054 --> 00:35:00,894
yes. Oh my gosh. She deserves it. That's amazing. So, yeah,

573
00:35:00,894 --> 00:35:04,300
so now she's got 2 babies. She's back in school. Do you feel

574
00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:07,980
like you could have dropped out if it weren't for her? Well,

575
00:35:07,980 --> 00:35:11,740
honestly, my mom wouldn't let me drop out. Your mom was that person? Yeah. Because

576
00:35:11,740 --> 00:35:15,454
there was one at one point, where I was like, I you know,

577
00:35:15,454 --> 00:35:18,335
I don't know that I have to put up with this. I think that I

578
00:35:18,335 --> 00:35:21,690
I can just get a GED and call it a day. And my mom put

579
00:35:21,690 --> 00:35:25,450
a quick stop to that. She said, absolutely not. But you know, that

580
00:35:25,450 --> 00:35:29,070
teacher, you know, was the one nice teacher for me.

581
00:35:29,545 --> 00:35:32,505
So So it wasn't pure torture. Yeah. There's at least that. And then it did

582
00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:36,265
get to the point, so I have so I come back to school the

583
00:35:36,265 --> 00:35:39,850
second half of my senior year, after having my

584
00:35:39,850 --> 00:35:43,230
babe and, not pregnant.

585
00:35:43,530 --> 00:35:47,210
And I will say that then, I got a lot more

586
00:35:47,210 --> 00:35:50,845
respect from teachers, when I came back because now I'm not

587
00:35:50,845 --> 00:35:54,684
pregnant. I don't look pregnant. I'm still there and my grades actually got

588
00:35:54,684 --> 00:35:57,610
even better while I was on maternity leave. All my grades went up to A's.

589
00:35:57,690 --> 00:36:01,450
Wow. Yeah. Really weird. Teachers were supportive when I

590
00:36:01,450 --> 00:36:05,290
came back. And another student ended up getting pregnant, the

591
00:36:05,290 --> 00:36:09,005
second half of our senior year. And some of the teachers were being

592
00:36:09,005 --> 00:36:12,785
a little more supportive to her and she had shared like, oh, I'm,

593
00:36:12,925 --> 00:36:16,045
I'm not keeping this baby. It's gonna go up for adoption. Like I'm not doing

594
00:36:16,045 --> 00:36:19,660
it and I'm going to drop out of school because I don't want this kind

595
00:36:19,660 --> 00:36:22,460
of treatment and I don't want to be like this. And,

596
00:36:23,660 --> 00:36:27,075
and I had a teacher come up to me and say, hey, Samantha,

597
00:36:27,775 --> 00:36:31,615
you did you were pregnant for, you know, 2

598
00:36:31,615 --> 00:36:34,974
halves of a year. You are no longer pregnant and you're gonna graduate in a

599
00:36:34,974 --> 00:36:38,660
couple of months. Can you get the student to hang in there a few

600
00:36:38,660 --> 00:36:42,420
more months? Yeah. And I was like, I can try. And so then

601
00:36:42,420 --> 00:36:46,125
teachers were believing in me that I could make a difference in someone and

602
00:36:46,185 --> 00:36:49,705
get them to stay through school. I will say I cannot remember if she graduated,

603
00:36:49,705 --> 00:36:52,045
but, I do remember

604
00:36:53,349 --> 00:36:56,809
that my cousin was actually going to adopt her baby and that was,

605
00:36:57,190 --> 00:36:59,769
a long process. And then, unfortunately

606
00:37:00,755 --> 00:37:04,355
fortunately, unfortunately, when the baby was born, she did decide to

607
00:37:04,355 --> 00:37:08,115
keep the baby. That would be really Yeah. So but,

608
00:37:08,115 --> 00:37:11,630
you know, the baby would stay with its with its mom.

609
00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:15,690
So happy ending there. But then there's still

610
00:37:15,690 --> 00:37:18,990
that negative. There were still a lot of negative experiences.

611
00:37:19,210 --> 00:37:22,385
So I'm I'm just stuck at home all the time.

612
00:37:22,765 --> 00:37:26,365
Not leaving anywhere. Really not leaving my computer because it was a lot

613
00:37:26,365 --> 00:37:29,990
harder to do schoolwork at home. A not so great

614
00:37:29,990 --> 00:37:33,590
story, that I remember from high school after having a

615
00:37:33,590 --> 00:37:37,290
baby was, I remember my mom encouraged me and

616
00:37:37,835 --> 00:37:41,515
my son's dad to take me out to a football game. My son's dad

617
00:37:41,515 --> 00:37:45,275
already graduated. He was a year older than me. And, so we

618
00:37:45,275 --> 00:37:48,850
go to this football game. And being a pregnant person

619
00:37:49,070 --> 00:37:52,830
in high school at this kind of school where it's just not really

620
00:37:52,830 --> 00:37:56,525
acceptable and it's just not the norm, The girls that you're not friends with that

621
00:37:56,525 --> 00:38:00,285
are, you know, the popular girls and like the the cheerleaders and stuff,

622
00:38:00,285 --> 00:38:04,125
they got real fascinated with me real fast because that 16 pregnant show

623
00:38:04,125 --> 00:38:07,790
was the thing that everyone watched and was obsessed with. And now

624
00:38:07,950 --> 00:38:11,570
like live vicariously through the whole Yep. So now they know unfair.

625
00:38:12,030 --> 00:38:15,845
They're almost like yeah. How does that make you feel? It was Double edged sword.

626
00:38:15,845 --> 00:38:19,285
It was interesting that, you know, these people would start talking to me and they

627
00:38:19,285 --> 00:38:23,058
actually, like, would hang out with me. And that was really weird because I definitely

628
00:38:23,058 --> 00:38:26,526
had a whole different type of friend group. I remember one of the cheerleaders, she

629
00:38:26,526 --> 00:38:29,994
was like, come like, you know, if you ever can come to a football game,

630
00:38:29,994 --> 00:38:33,105
please Like, you know, I would love for you to meet my mom. And so

631
00:38:33,105 --> 00:38:35,665
my mom encouraged us to go out to the football game. We go to the

632
00:38:35,665 --> 00:38:39,505
football game. We go down to the fence where where she is and

633
00:38:39,505 --> 00:38:42,620
she's cheerleading. And she gets real excited to see me and she's waving in the

634
00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:45,820
stands. And then she's like pointing to the sign. She goes, that's my mom. And

635
00:38:45,820 --> 00:38:48,860
so then there's like a tap on my shoulder and I like turned around and

636
00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:52,605
this lady goes, hey, I'm her mom. And, I

637
00:38:52,605 --> 00:38:55,645
think she wants me to come say hi to you. And I was like, oh,

638
00:38:55,645 --> 00:38:59,250
hi. I was like, yeah, I'm Samantha. And her mom goes with this

639
00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:02,790
flat, disgusted face goes, oh,

640
00:39:03,410 --> 00:39:07,090
and walks away. Why did she want

641
00:39:07,090 --> 00:39:10,655
you to meet her mom? I don't know. I don't know if

642
00:39:10,655 --> 00:39:14,335
she thought that her mom wouldn't react like that or or or what. I

643
00:39:14,335 --> 00:39:18,150
don't know. See, I was expecting it was gonna be like, oh, my mom

644
00:39:18,150 --> 00:39:21,910
can relate to you because I was born No. It was

645
00:39:21,910 --> 00:39:25,455
that, oh. That's weird because my thought is

646
00:39:25,615 --> 00:39:29,455
like, did she not know her mom very well? Like, you know,

647
00:39:29,455 --> 00:39:32,915
growing up really young with a young child, that's

648
00:39:33,060 --> 00:39:36,660
probably news for another story. You get all kinds of judgmental looks. All

649
00:39:36,660 --> 00:39:40,500
the there's comments that have stuck with me being, you know, just being

650
00:39:40,500 --> 00:39:44,125
out in public with a with a baby. But anyhoo, so

651
00:39:44,565 --> 00:39:47,705
Can I just share something small? I remember being

652
00:39:48,805 --> 00:39:52,180
probably 14 or 15, and one of the girls at church, she was a little

653
00:39:52,180 --> 00:39:56,020
older than me. She was 15 or 16, got pregnant, and she

654
00:39:56,020 --> 00:39:59,775
was shunned. And I don't shunned is a harsh word

655
00:39:59,775 --> 00:40:03,055
because I know there are some religions that actually shunned. You are not allowed to

656
00:40:03,055 --> 00:40:06,194
talk to that person. This was more of kind of a, like,

657
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,859
not a true Shunning, but you didn't talk to her.

658
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:16,545
Right? You weren't supposed to. And I remember being

659
00:40:16,545 --> 00:40:20,145
friends with her and I

660
00:40:20,145 --> 00:40:23,480
still talked to her. I didn't know her that well, to tell you the truth,

661
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:26,200
but I would go over and visit her and try to just stay her friend

662
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:29,880
so that she kind of felt some support. And I just remember

663
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:33,724
thinking, like, that could be any of these girls. Like, I hadn't had

664
00:40:33,724 --> 00:40:37,325
secondhand. Okay. It's not because I was a good girl. It's just because I wasn't

665
00:40:37,325 --> 00:40:41,109
cool. Yeah. There was a girl that she she was

666
00:40:41,109 --> 00:40:44,710
known as one of the stronger souls in in the school and,

667
00:40:45,190 --> 00:40:48,755
she knew that everyone's talking badly about me. And so one time she's

668
00:40:48,755 --> 00:40:52,055
like, let me walk you outside. And I'm like, oh,

669
00:40:52,355 --> 00:40:56,190
okay. And someone looks at me wrong and she goes, oh, don't

670
00:40:56,190 --> 00:40:59,390
act like you're not fucking having sex too. You just haven't gotten caught. Thank you.

671
00:40:59,390 --> 00:41:01,950
And that's exactly what I was gonna say. I was like, it could be any

672
00:41:01,950 --> 00:41:05,684
of these other girls. You guys are doing the same shit, and

673
00:41:05,684 --> 00:41:09,525
then you're gonna act like she's this horrible person and Yeah. Should be going

674
00:41:09,525 --> 00:41:12,105
to hell or whatever it is. And

675
00:41:13,270 --> 00:41:17,050
she did the exact same thing you're doing. It's just that hers is showing. Yep.

676
00:41:17,910 --> 00:41:21,450
Yeah. Just different life experiences. But,

677
00:41:22,205 --> 00:41:24,305
yeah. So I had a baby in high school,

678
00:41:26,525 --> 00:41:29,745
ended up not staying with high school baby daddy,

679
00:41:30,590 --> 00:41:32,930
living on my own for a small amount of time,

680
00:41:34,110 --> 00:41:37,945
dated my current husband for, you know, like a

681
00:41:37,945 --> 00:41:41,545
month and then I ghosted him. That's true. Both of our husbands we had in

682
00:41:41,545 --> 00:41:45,225
our lives and then kinda like But I ghosted him.

683
00:41:45,452 --> 00:41:49,279
Later. You did. It's true. You guys actually dated. Brett and

684
00:41:49,279 --> 00:41:52,079
I Kinda. I mean, is that what you call, like, just Going on a date.

685
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:55,625
Night night nightly get together gathers. Is that Hook ups? I

686
00:41:55,625 --> 00:41:58,745
mean Booty calls? I guess. I don't know. I think that's what I was. You

687
00:41:58,745 --> 00:42:02,505
could probably call that date. Anyhoo, I ghosted him. Ended

688
00:42:02,505 --> 00:42:06,329
up Why'd you ghost him? Are we not showing that on here? I mean,

689
00:42:06,329 --> 00:42:10,170
he just he has a lot of dogs. There is a lot of dogs. There's

690
00:42:10,170 --> 00:42:13,115
a lot of dog hair, and I'm a clean freak. But I mean, I have

691
00:42:13,355 --> 00:42:17,195
like he was really sweet. He made me dinner one time with, and I

692
00:42:17,195 --> 00:42:20,715
brought brought the babe over and he made us dinner. And I just remember getting

693
00:42:20,715 --> 00:42:24,119
there and there's a freaking husky on the dinner

694
00:42:24,119 --> 00:42:27,960
table. And then he brings the food over to the table and then there's

695
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,000
fucking dog hair still on the table and I'm just staring at the dog hair

696
00:42:31,000 --> 00:42:34,385
and I'm like, oh, no. And then, like,

697
00:42:34,525 --> 00:42:38,205
anytime, anytime I woke up in his house, like, it doesn't

698
00:42:38,205 --> 00:42:41,860
matter where I put my underwear. The fucking dog would buy my underwear and

699
00:42:41,860 --> 00:42:45,460
eat it. Eat it. Eat the crotch out. And I was

700
00:42:45,460 --> 00:42:49,155
like, why? Like, I could hide it in the bed and this

701
00:42:49,235 --> 00:42:52,215
fucker would find it and eat my underwear. Damn, Falkor.

702
00:42:52,635 --> 00:42:56,275
But oh, Falkor was the one. Oh, he was so dumb and

703
00:42:56,275 --> 00:42:59,799
sweet, though. He was so dumb. Anyhoo. Yeah. So

704
00:42:59,799 --> 00:43:03,559
ghosted him. I ended up, having a baby with another sweet

705
00:43:03,559 --> 00:43:07,065
soul, that didn't last more than 3 years

706
00:43:07,065 --> 00:43:10,505
and, decided that I just had other

707
00:43:10,505 --> 00:43:14,079
plans and other other thoughts for life. And so I

708
00:43:14,079 --> 00:43:17,700
served for a few years and then A server?

709
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,385
I was a server and restaurant. Oh, yes. Couple of restaurants. Did that

710
00:43:21,385 --> 00:43:25,225
for several years. And then, my daughter's dad. So he

711
00:43:25,225 --> 00:43:29,020
ended up taking over kind of that father role for for my first high

712
00:43:29,020 --> 00:43:32,300
school baby. So he is who we call the dad of of both of those

713
00:43:32,300 --> 00:43:35,180
children. So he really took that role and was So much so that for a

714
00:43:35,180 --> 00:43:39,025
long time, I thought he was both of their staff. I think

715
00:43:39,025 --> 00:43:42,785
most people do if they don't know, because he is daddy to both of

716
00:43:42,785 --> 00:43:46,270
them and he you know, we're not together anymore. And on the weekends, he takes

717
00:43:46,430 --> 00:43:50,110
both of them every other weekend, as his own kids. Well, before

718
00:43:50,110 --> 00:43:53,870
we we split up, he took Andrew took me to the aquarium because I just

719
00:43:53,870 --> 00:43:57,405
had this, like, passion. I wanted to see dolphins and the

720
00:43:57,405 --> 00:44:00,685
Georgia Aquarium had just gotten dolphins for the first time and they had a had

721
00:44:00,685 --> 00:44:04,450
a dolphin show. And so he takes me to this dolphin show and I'm

722
00:44:04,450 --> 00:44:08,289
sitting in the audience and I'm just balling at this magical existence. And

723
00:44:08,289 --> 00:44:09,849
then after the show, there's the trainers out and they wanna meet you and they

724
00:44:09,849 --> 00:44:10,285
talk to you and they answer questions. And so he, like, makes me

725
00:44:18,380 --> 00:44:21,839
talk to me. Like, what am I gonna say? And,

726
00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:25,819
he goes, well, what does it take to be a dolphin trainer out

727
00:44:25,819 --> 00:44:29,645
there? And the girl goes, oh, well, it's, it's not that hard. You

728
00:44:29,645 --> 00:44:33,485
actually just need at least 3 years experience of working with any animal,

729
00:44:33,485 --> 00:44:37,005
just animals in general. And then you apply and see if you get

730
00:44:37,005 --> 00:44:40,640
it. And I was like, okay. Went

731
00:44:40,640 --> 00:44:44,080
home that day and I started applying to a bunch of animal hospitals thinking that,

732
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,200
oh, I'll just be some kennel help somewhere for 3 years and see if that's

733
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,945
enough. And, animal hospital interviewed

734
00:44:50,945 --> 00:44:54,244
me and they didn't give me a kennel job. They gave me basically,

735
00:44:54,705 --> 00:44:58,400
an assisting veterinary assisting, tech job.

736
00:44:58,619 --> 00:45:02,380
And so I was actually hands on caring for animals, learning

737
00:45:02,380 --> 00:45:05,775
how to draw blood and run tests and labs and

738
00:45:05,835 --> 00:45:09,675
communicating with clients and being educated on on pet health and how to care

739
00:45:09,675 --> 00:45:13,194
for them. And I did that for many, many years. Ended

740
00:45:13,194 --> 00:45:16,890
up being someone who opened up a franchise pet

741
00:45:16,890 --> 00:45:20,650
resort with 5 departments on that. And

742
00:45:20,650 --> 00:45:23,835
I I rocked that. I rocked both those jobs. I was real good at it.

743
00:45:25,035 --> 00:45:28,655
And then took a break from working to have my 3rd child,

744
00:45:28,714 --> 00:45:32,315
second daughter, and that is mine and Simon's little red

745
00:45:32,315 --> 00:45:36,080
headed fireball. Took a little break and then I became

746
00:45:36,140 --> 00:45:39,680
a practice manager at another animal hospital for a little bit of time.

747
00:45:39,900 --> 00:45:43,565
And that was short lived. I was really struggling trying to figure like

748
00:45:43,724 --> 00:45:47,405
postpartum depression is real, guys. That was it was

749
00:45:47,405 --> 00:45:51,250
tough. And so, you know, I had marital stuff going on, had,

750
00:45:51,250 --> 00:45:54,470
you know, the stressful job going on, had this baby

751
00:45:54,770 --> 00:45:58,610
and that was probably the hardest baby I've had. And She

752
00:45:58,610 --> 00:46:02,355
has a will. She she is. She's red headed. She has how she has

753
00:46:02,355 --> 00:46:06,195
a very strong will. I love her now. I quit that

754
00:46:06,195 --> 00:46:09,395
job and then I was staying home and it's been 2 years. And then by

755
00:46:09,395 --> 00:46:12,140
the time I start, you know, within those 2 years, it's just

756
00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,680
depressing working your whole life and being home and just not knowing like where

757
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:20,214
places and what you're gonna do. And like I being a single

758
00:46:20,214 --> 00:46:23,655
mom for a lot of my life, I was the provider. It took a lot

759
00:46:23,655 --> 00:46:27,255
to even feel like I can accept Simon to be the sole

760
00:46:27,255 --> 00:46:30,040
provider. And so that was kind of depressing too. I felt like I needed to

761
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:33,800
be a provider too. But I also needed to take time and figure out what

762
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:37,000
am I doing with my life? It was just 2 years of sitting around the

763
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:40,595
house and then, you know, I finally decide like, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna find

764
00:46:40,595 --> 00:46:44,275
a job. I mean, sitting around the house is strong. You

765
00:46:44,275 --> 00:46:47,910
were raising your children. Stay at home moms, I'm sure it's not

766
00:46:47,910 --> 00:46:51,350
it's not, some people I'm just gonna I just get throw that out

767
00:46:51,350 --> 00:46:55,125
there. No. I think there's 2 different people, and there's 2 different ways to view

768
00:46:55,125 --> 00:46:58,885
it. Yeah. I have always known I'm not a stay at home mom. But, you

769
00:46:58,885 --> 00:47:01,845
know, some of my best friends, like, they wish that they were a stay at

770
00:47:01,845 --> 00:47:05,610
home mom and they are good at it when they're given the opportunity. That, I

771
00:47:05,610 --> 00:47:09,050
just meant knowing you, you weren't sitting around the house. No. I was

772
00:47:09,050 --> 00:47:12,515
depressed. I was doing a lot of sitting around. Okay. Sure. Yeah. That's

773
00:47:12,515 --> 00:47:16,355
another story. A lot of sitting around, just staring at walls as I call it

774
00:47:16,355 --> 00:47:19,640
to my therapist. Yeah. And as you said, you knew that stay at home mom

775
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:23,480
wasn't big for you and that's gonna even make it worse. Yeah. So

776
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,520
then I had decided, like, okay. I'm gonna find I'm gonna find a job that

777
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,905
I'm gonna find some passion in again and it's time. And my husband is supportive

778
00:47:29,965 --> 00:47:33,725
of that. And we go on vacation. I like have had

779
00:47:33,725 --> 00:47:37,245
this strong desire to, see

780
00:47:37,245 --> 00:47:40,950
more ocean ocean life in their natural habitat.

781
00:47:41,250 --> 00:47:44,869
And so I planned out what countries in the migration path

782
00:47:44,930 --> 00:47:48,525
of different types of whales. And it so played out that,

783
00:47:48,685 --> 00:47:51,964
we could go to Costa Rica and we could see, it was the time of

784
00:47:51,964 --> 00:47:55,470
year where humpback whales were going to give birth. And

785
00:47:55,470 --> 00:47:58,610
so Simon was sweet enough and booked that trip and

786
00:47:59,790 --> 00:48:03,250
wasn't took us 4 or 5 attempts to get to Costa Rica.

787
00:48:03,870 --> 00:48:07,375
During COVID? Yeah. COVID and then, it's like a

788
00:48:07,375 --> 00:48:11,214
sickness. And then, the flight just got canceled in general and it was just

789
00:48:11,214 --> 00:48:14,880
a whole process. Took about 5 attempts, but we finally,

790
00:48:15,020 --> 00:48:18,720
after a couple of years, made it to Costa Rica. We got to see the

791
00:48:19,099 --> 00:48:22,080
migration part where the whales are giving birth

792
00:48:23,215 --> 00:48:27,055
and it was magical. And that's we finally make

793
00:48:27,055 --> 00:48:30,355
it there. And our 2nd day in Costa Rica is when my seizures start happening

794
00:48:30,390 --> 00:48:33,510
out of the country, doing this magical thing that we've been trying to do for

795
00:48:33,510 --> 00:48:37,349
years. And so, you know, that was the first time we're like,

796
00:48:37,349 --> 00:48:41,035
okay, I don't know what happened, But okay. Something weird happened. It

797
00:48:41,035 --> 00:48:44,655
keeps happening on this trip, keeps happening, and then we come home and

798
00:48:44,795 --> 00:48:48,450
we're like he takes me to the hospital the next day because the next day

799
00:48:48,450 --> 00:48:52,049
after we get home from Costa Rica, I have another episode. And this

800
00:48:52,049 --> 00:48:55,895
time, he's sure you're having seizures. And so he takes me to the hospital. We

801
00:48:55,895 --> 00:48:59,734
end up in the hospital for 5 days. No one can figure out what's going

802
00:48:59,734 --> 00:49:03,095
on. And so here we are, 6 months later, still having

803
00:49:03,095 --> 00:49:06,910
seizures. So, you know, then that's that leads you into a whole another realm

804
00:49:06,910 --> 00:49:10,690
of depression of like, man, I was finally ready. I was about to like

805
00:49:10,750 --> 00:49:14,590
get a life back because, you know, I I have a life. Don't get

806
00:49:14,590 --> 00:49:18,015
me wrong. Like, I just haven't always appreciated getting to stay home

807
00:49:18,015 --> 00:49:21,855
and, you know, that's that's on me. Like he said it I wouldn't even say

808
00:49:21,855 --> 00:49:25,670
it's on you. Like, it's just you. Many people would be very thankful

809
00:49:25,670 --> 00:49:28,630
and grateful to be able to stay home and raise their children. But it doesn't

810
00:49:28,630 --> 00:49:31,589
mean you're doing something wrong for having different kids. It doesn't mean I'm doing something

811
00:49:31,589 --> 00:49:35,345
wrong. But I could have embraced it more and taken that

812
00:49:35,484 --> 00:49:39,325
as a more joyful thing to do Okay. With my last baby Gotcha. Which

813
00:49:39,325 --> 00:49:42,540
is something that I really should have done. Probably learn from that actually.

814
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,599
Yes. Because there's things that, like, I think I'll be happy when if I

815
00:49:46,599 --> 00:49:49,880
can have a child. Right? No. You gotta reframe that mind. He needs to appreciate

816
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:53,835
enjoy appreciate the situation I'm in now. And it's easier said than done. It is

817
00:49:53,835 --> 00:49:57,295
because, you know, this is hindsight. But here we are again. Now I'm having seizures.

818
00:49:57,435 --> 00:50:01,030
Physically cannot work. Physically cannot do anything. And so that leads us

819
00:50:01,190 --> 00:50:04,870
to, you know, here, I'm sitting at home, I'm depressed. I'm trying to

820
00:50:04,870 --> 00:50:08,630
find joy in raising this my last baby. And I'm finding some joy in

821
00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:11,734
it now. And, you know, I'm starting to appreciate it, but I'm

822
00:50:12,275 --> 00:50:14,755
I literally can't do anything. We never know when a seizure is gonna happen and

823
00:50:14,755 --> 00:50:16,915
we don't know what the trigger is and we don't know what the right medication

824
00:50:16,915 --> 00:50:19,635
is yet. And so now here I am stuck at home, but this time I

825
00:50:19,635 --> 00:50:23,320
can't even leave the house. So literally stuck at home with this

826
00:50:23,620 --> 00:50:27,240
hard wheeled baby. And so Melissa mentions,

827
00:50:27,540 --> 00:50:31,285
you know, on on New Year's when we're getting together, like, I always

828
00:50:31,285 --> 00:50:34,585
wanna do a podcast. And then I'm like, bet. Alright.

829
00:50:36,165 --> 00:50:39,329
That gives me something that I can be hands on with and, like, I can

830
00:50:39,329 --> 00:50:43,030
control that. Oh, and you have done so good. Like,

831
00:50:43,329 --> 00:50:47,170
I just was talking on my ass a little bit. Not really. Like, yeah, I

832
00:50:47,170 --> 00:50:50,005
always have wanted to, and I feel like I have a lot of things I

833
00:50:50,005 --> 00:50:53,605
can share. Granted, I mean, a lot of things I can learn still too,

834
00:50:53,605 --> 00:50:57,339
but you took the reins and you It gave me

835
00:50:57,339 --> 00:51:00,700
something to write. It was amazing. It gave me something that I could put my

836
00:51:00,700 --> 00:51:04,295
brain to when my brain allows me and do something. Yeah. And so

837
00:51:04,295 --> 00:51:07,975
that's where we are. This is something that I can do as my brain allows

838
00:51:07,975 --> 00:51:11,640
me and stay at home and raise the baby. And so as long as I'm

839
00:51:11,640 --> 00:51:14,700
well enough, I got it. So it's been fun.

840
00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:19,080
Yeah. Yeah. But that's how I how I got here. Oh, it's funny. I

841
00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:22,475
see that one of your notes is about missing out on the real party phase.

842
00:51:22,475 --> 00:51:25,995
I always felt that way too because of how my religion was so

843
00:51:25,995 --> 00:51:29,569
strict. For me, it was hard because my living

844
00:51:29,569 --> 00:51:33,109
arrangements were very, very limited. I

845
00:51:33,410 --> 00:51:36,849
have very little money. I'm a server, single mom with a tiny

846
00:51:36,849 --> 00:51:40,695
human. So even a basement apartment, $800, like, that's really

847
00:51:40,695 --> 00:51:44,214
tight. It's tight space wise. It's tight money wise.

848
00:51:44,214 --> 00:51:47,230
And not to mention, I got myself a shepherd,

849
00:51:48,089 --> 00:51:51,849
because I just A German shepherd. A German shepherd. A a man who

850
00:51:51,849 --> 00:51:55,435
watches shepherd. I got myself a shepherd. Her name is

851
00:51:55,435 --> 00:51:59,195
Ada and she's my whole life, but now she's old. That was very

852
00:51:59,195 --> 00:52:02,460
limited. Obviously, German shepherds aren't welcome also into very many places.

853
00:52:03,180 --> 00:52:06,940
And sometimes I feel when I think about high school, I missed out on

854
00:52:06,940 --> 00:52:10,540
the party phase that everyone else has. The going out, you know,

855
00:52:10,540 --> 00:52:10,945
interacting

856
00:52:18,465 --> 00:52:22,180
And to to that man and, that

857
00:52:22,180 --> 00:52:25,960
didn't work out. And you were very young. I was very young and it just

858
00:52:26,275 --> 00:52:29,235
wasn't ready. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I hadn't ghosted him

859
00:52:29,235 --> 00:52:32,915
because he was a great man, but I still felt immature. I mean, he

860
00:52:32,915 --> 00:52:36,530
was like 25, 28 and I was like

861
00:52:36,670 --> 00:52:40,210
18, 19. It's kind of a large age gap in maturity

862
00:52:40,510 --> 00:52:43,810
as well. And I just didn't feel like I was ready to have

863
00:52:43,950 --> 00:52:47,745
adult conversations and just didn't feel

864
00:52:47,745 --> 00:52:50,945
like my maturity was there. And, you know, in hindsight, I don't think his maturity

865
00:52:50,945 --> 00:52:53,985
was there either. And and in the long run, we both think that we probably

866
00:52:53,985 --> 00:52:57,650
wouldn't have worked out had we not split apart. Interesting, because

867
00:52:57,650 --> 00:53:01,250
I also will think, what if I had just met? What if no. Brett and

868
00:53:01,250 --> 00:53:04,825
I didn't. What if we had just tried, and why didn't we try to connect

869
00:53:04,825 --> 00:53:08,665
more? But, and then

870
00:53:08,665 --> 00:53:12,329
I wouldn't have married the other person that I married, and I don't

871
00:53:12,329 --> 00:53:16,170
think we're ready. We just weren't ready. We weren't the same person people that

872
00:53:16,170 --> 00:53:19,930
we are now. First of all, we might still be struggling, like, should we leave?

873
00:53:19,930 --> 00:53:23,375
Should we not leave the church? Because there's 2 of us now trying to make

874
00:53:23,375 --> 00:53:27,135
that decision. I just yeah. And then you also made me think of

875
00:53:27,135 --> 00:53:30,400
how my mom because my dad was 27. My mom was 19.

876
00:53:30,780 --> 00:53:34,160
And I think we can both leave it at

877
00:53:34,460 --> 00:53:37,835
we had examples that we did not want to be.

878
00:53:37,994 --> 00:53:41,515
Yeah. And I think that maybe the

879
00:53:41,515 --> 00:53:45,275
reason my mom is still in the situation she's in is because

880
00:53:45,275 --> 00:53:49,100
she chooses it because it's comfortable. And I don't wanna

881
00:53:49,100 --> 00:53:51,600
do that. I wanna learn from that. Yeah.

882
00:53:53,180 --> 00:53:56,800
That was a side note, but I think it is something that's kind of important.

883
00:53:57,195 --> 00:53:59,835
So sometimes you wonder what it would have been like if you and Brett would

884
00:53:59,835 --> 00:54:03,455
have stayed together. Is there anything Or gotten together Gotten together Like,

885
00:54:03,595 --> 00:54:07,020
organically. Yes. Is there anything else you would have changed

886
00:54:07,020 --> 00:54:09,839
or in hindsight, you're glad nothing did?

887
00:54:11,980 --> 00:54:15,445
I have some small regrets. I kind of

888
00:54:15,445 --> 00:54:19,285
maybe wish that I was younger just for the fact that we both do wanna

889
00:54:19,285 --> 00:54:22,460
have a family, and, we are struggling

890
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:26,440
with, trying to conceive. And it's

891
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:29,480
very expensive to do IVF, so we haven't gotten to that point yet. We're

892
00:54:30,585 --> 00:54:33,965
anyway sometimes I think yeah. We're winging

893
00:54:34,425 --> 00:54:37,465
it. Sometimes I do think, yeah, I wish it happened when we were younger. I

894
00:54:37,465 --> 00:54:40,910
wish we got together when I was younger, but I don't know that

895
00:54:41,290 --> 00:54:45,050
it would have been like I said, he's a completely different

896
00:54:45,050 --> 00:54:48,735
person. He had to go through a phase and he had to go through his

897
00:54:48,735 --> 00:54:52,495
party phase with my husband. That. Maybe once in a while, we'll have him on

898
00:54:52,495 --> 00:54:56,300
here and just kinda share that, but he did. He had

899
00:54:56,300 --> 00:54:59,600
to have his his his time of just having fun

900
00:55:00,460 --> 00:55:03,200
and experiencing things that he didn't get to experience

901
00:55:04,315 --> 00:55:07,995
growing up in the church. And I guess I I

902
00:55:07,995 --> 00:55:11,775
know I learned a lot. I mean, how can you not getting married and divorced?

903
00:55:14,119 --> 00:55:17,800
Obviously, I still am, like, far from the human that I

904
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:21,640
want to be, but I have yeah. I think I

905
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:25,485
wouldn't change anything. I'm I'm happy. I'm happy how

906
00:55:25,485 --> 00:55:29,165
my life is going, honestly. Good. I think the only thing

907
00:55:29,165 --> 00:55:31,980
that I still would have changes. I wish that I would have been able to

908
00:55:31,980 --> 00:55:35,820
reframe that mind and appreciate getting to raise my last

909
00:55:35,820 --> 00:55:39,260
baby fully. Yeah. That's the only thing I wish that I would have done better

910
00:55:39,260 --> 00:55:43,105
if I had to pick something. But other than that, no. Nothing. I suppose

911
00:55:43,105 --> 00:55:45,825
I can agree with that. I just if I had to change anything, it would

912
00:55:45,825 --> 00:55:48,500
be my frame of mind in the times. Yeah. I think that's what we all

913
00:55:48,740 --> 00:55:52,100
would probably agree on. Yeah. It's not what's happened to us. It's the frame of

914
00:55:52,100 --> 00:55:55,860
mind that we put on it. A 100%. I mean, that's a fair I remember

915
00:55:55,860 --> 00:55:59,521
I can look back and see things where I thought at the

916
00:55:59,521 --> 00:56:03,275
time, oh, it's something as simple as your body image. Right? I remember

917
00:56:03,275 --> 00:56:06,955
thinking that I hated my body when I was in my early twenties. That's

918
00:56:06,955 --> 00:56:10,566
really cool. Fine. There wasn't anything wrong with it. And if I

919
00:56:10,566 --> 00:56:14,365
could have that body now, I would be so happy. So I do wish that

920
00:56:14,365 --> 00:56:18,005
I could just, you know Appreciate what you thought when you got it. Yeah.

921
00:56:18,005 --> 00:56:21,845
That. But, I don't know if it's always it's not always possible. It's just

922
00:56:21,845 --> 00:56:24,645
not. We sometimes have to go through those hard and rough times to get to

923
00:56:24,645 --> 00:56:28,470
the point where we learn to appreciate. Yeah. But that's why we got each

924
00:56:28,470 --> 00:56:32,275
other. Alright, guys. I think that that wraps us

925
00:56:32,275 --> 00:56:35,954
up for today's show and I really hope you guys enjoyed and thank you for

926
00:56:35,954 --> 00:56:39,555
bearing with us as we got through our first Our

927
00:56:39,555 --> 00:56:43,350
recording time. I'm really excited for this community that we're about

928
00:56:43,350 --> 00:56:46,890
to build. Yes. I can just see it now. I wanna see

929
00:56:47,430 --> 00:56:50,965
more of you guys coming and telling and sharing us with your stories

930
00:56:51,105 --> 00:56:54,945
and maybe things that you would have changed in your past Things you agree with.

931
00:56:55,025 --> 00:56:58,725
Wouldn't have. Things you don't agree with because we don't agree

932
00:56:59,250 --> 00:57:03,010
all the time with Yeah. What we think and hear and that's a fun conversation.

933
00:57:03,010 --> 00:57:06,515
And so, you know, what we hope is to have just a supporting,

934
00:57:06,755 --> 00:57:10,594
loving community where we can agree to disagree, support each other and

935
00:57:10,674 --> 00:57:14,035
We're all together. You're not alone and find all these people that can come together

936
00:57:14,035 --> 00:57:17,789
and help each other out. You know, a lot of us want to be

937
00:57:17,789 --> 00:57:21,390
home with our children. So, we have these side hustles to make money and,

938
00:57:22,109 --> 00:57:25,425
this is also another great way that we can help support the other moms who

939
00:57:25,425 --> 00:57:29,025
do that. We're really excited to share on, like, some of these businesses. We've got

940
00:57:29,025 --> 00:57:32,725
some really exciting, I guess, interviews that are coming up.

941
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:36,360
We'll see you next time. See you next time. Don't forget to like us on

942
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:39,720
social media. Don't forget to share your story with us on social media. That's really

943
00:57:39,720 --> 00:57:42,895
what we want. We wanna hear from you. If you like what you heard today,

944
00:57:42,895 --> 00:57:46,575
hit subscribe now. Oh, apparently, they

945
00:57:46,575 --> 00:57:50,290
say when you see things in real life, you never ever ever can see

946
00:57:50,290 --> 00:57:52,930
yourself as you truly are because when you look in a mirror, you're seeing a

947
00:57:52,930 --> 00:57:56,585
reflection. And so even in photos, like, you're seeing

948
00:57:56,585 --> 00:58:00,105
a kind of reflection in a way, too, apparently. Interesting. So are we looking at

949
00:58:00,105 --> 00:58:02,845
each other or are we looking like in the opposite direction?

950
00:58:03,865 --> 00:58:04,500
Okay, that

951
00:58:12,235 --> 00:58:15,915
like this, not looking at each other? But our

952
00:58:15,915 --> 00:58:19,675
perspective saw a different look. You're

953
00:58:19,675 --> 00:58:23,030
killing me. No. We aren't looking at each other. Just looking

954
00:58:23,650 --> 00:58:24,480
at a kick