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Speaker: Well, as you're seated,
you'll probably notice in your bulletin

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that we are in verse seven of one
Peter, and there's not a glitch.

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This is not confirmation that we're
in a, a simulation or whatever.

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Um, we're gonna get to verses
one through six, but, uh, we're

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gonna start with verse seven.

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'cause verse seven is
addressed to the husbands.

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Verse seven is addressed to the men.

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And as you've heard from us
before, we believe in the value

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of having a church that's led by
godly men with godly families.

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And so we wanna start with the husbands
and call our husbands to lead the

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way that God is calling us to lead.

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And that's gonna also help us understand
so much of verses one through six as

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well as we back up to that next week.

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But we are beginning, uh, with
an address to husbands, and maybe

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you're here this morning, you're
thinking to yourself, well, I'm not.

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A husband, maybe you're a wife or maybe
you're a child or somebody who, uh, isn't

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married, never has been married, marriage
isn't on the the docket for you, and you

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might be thinking, this is a, a pretty
targeted sermon, targeted application.

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In fact, each of the points
are gonna be two husbands.

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And so you may be tempted to tune out, but
I want to encourage you to, to lean in.

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Because, uh, of a, a handful of reasons.

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First is this.

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The husbands in this room need the church
to be praying for them to be the type of

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man that God is gonna call them to be.

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Uh, to, to lead as a husband is a,
a job that is difficult and it's

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also a job that's not popular and
not encouraged by our culture.

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And so we need the, the church to be
praying for the husbands in this room,

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that they would lead in a way that honors
the Lord and that they would lead well.

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The second reason is, is we have
a room with young men in the room.

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And we have a church with young men in the
church, and those young men are gonna grow

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up to be husbands, Lord willing someday.

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And they need to know what it looks like
and what it means to be a Godly husband.

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And we're praying that they have dads
at home that are modeling that for

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them, but they also need to know and own
what God's word has to say about that.

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Also, we have young women in the
room who are gonna grow up and

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hopefully get married to Godly men.

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And so we want them to know
what a godly man looks like.

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I, I have a daughter and she's over
serving in kids' ministry right now, but

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she was there for pre preach, and I preach
this message in front of her because I

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want her to know the type of man that
she needs to bring home to meet dad.

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Not some dusty man that doesn't know
what it looks like to lead his wife.

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Well, or to lead a, a woman
is, is God is calling him to.

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And so this is important
for, for that group as well.

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It's also an important message for those,
uh, that, that want to see the gospel

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honored because Paul tells us, as we read
during our scripture reading, that the

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gospel is imaged through godly marriages.

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And so we need to be paying attention
and know what it looks like for a,

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a husband to love his wife well,
because therein we see the love

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that Christ has for the church.

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And then finally, uh, we will
all benefit if we have strong

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marriages in this church.

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Our church will be more effective,
more fruitful at serving the Lord,

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more effective at our mission of
making disciples by reaching and

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teaching and training people if
we have strong ungodly marriages.

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And so if you're here this morning and
you would say, well, I'm not a husband.

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I get it.

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I understand it, but I wanna
say this message is for you too.

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For all of those reasons and more.

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But as we think about husbands, why we're
starting with this message, I want you

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to picture an arch, a, a, a stone arch.

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And as a stone arch is built,
uh, you don't start from the

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top and build the way down.

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You start from the bottom and,
and build up towards the middle.

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And as you're building a stone arch,
there's supports that have to be

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put in place to hold the arch up.

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And that's because the last
stone to be put in place in an

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arch is called the keystone.

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And that keystone is that wedge state.

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Shape stone that goes in
place at the very top.

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And once that's in place, all of the other
stones in the arch are locked in secure.

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The arch is able to stand because weight
is gonna be distributed the way it

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needs to be distributed, and there's not
gonna be points of tension in that arch

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that are gonna lead to it crumbling.

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But if you move that keystone, if
you take that keystone out, then

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that arch is no longer gonna be able
to bear up under its own weight and

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it's gonna collapse in on itself.

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When you consider a godly marriage, both
a husband and a wife are, are important

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to the overall health of the marriage.

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But what I wanna suggest to you
this morning is that I believe

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the, the husband's role is
the keystone for the marriage.

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I believe that if we have men that
are following what God is calling

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them to do, if we have men that are
responding to the call to lead in

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a way that God is calling them to
lead, that that will produce strong,

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godly, healthy families every time.

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No, but the majority of the time,
yes, and especially if we're dealing

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with a home with two believers.

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I think what Peter's gonna show us this
morning is this, the surest path to a

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strong and healthy marriage is a godly
man committed to being a godly husband

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the way that God has called him to be.

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The strongest and surest path to a
strong and healthy marriage is a godly

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man committed to being a godly husband
the way that God has called him to be.

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With that in mind, we begin in one
Peter chapter three, verse seven.

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The first part of it is this.

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Likewise, husbands live with your
wives in an understanding way.

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Live with your wives in
an understanding way.

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Peter says, likewise here.

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And we've been in this series
called Submitted Living.

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And now Peter, you're gonna note, is not
calling the husband to submit to his wife.

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In fact, that's not a biblical command.

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You're gonna find that the
husband is called the lead.

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And yet this is part of
the family household.

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This is part of the relationship of
submission, the authority structure.

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And we're gonna get to that a
little bit later on this morning.

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Uh, but Peter's addressing the husband as
the, the one in authority here, and he's

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calling the husband to live with his wife.

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In an understanding way, I wanna
first focus in on the, that

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phrase, live with, to live with.

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This is literally dwell together.

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When, when two people get
married, they don't get married

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and get separate apartments and
just live in the same zip code.

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They don't get married and, and live
in separate states and just share

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tax filings together in, in fact,
when two people get married, the most

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significant thing is not the document
the pastor signs and mails into the

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courts the most significant thing.

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In a god's eye view is the fact that
those two people stand up before the

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Lord and vow and promise things to one
another before the Lord, and then the,

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the, the pastor, by the authority of God
pronounces them to be husband and wife.

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That's the most significant
thing about a marriage.

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And then from that point, that man
and that woman, they go to live.

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Together to dwell together.

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This is the model from
the very first marriage.

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The marriage of Adam to Eve in Genesis 2
24 says, therefore, a man shall leave his

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father and mother and hold fast to his
wife, and they shall become one flesh.

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So even the cohabitation of a man and
a woman is meant to point to the unity.

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That's to be there in a
marriage relationship.

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The wholeness, the oneness.

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Yeah.

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And yet what we find here is that it's
not just that Peter or that God cares

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that, that we live together, but he
cares about how we live together and

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speci specifically for the husband, he
cares that the husband lives with his

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wife in an understanding way that is,
in a way that is according to knowledge

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is what it is literally in the Greek.

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It's interesting, right, because let's
reset our, our context for a second.

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We talked about that opening message.

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We're a church in exile,
not a church on vacation.

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And Peter's writing to those that
have been sent away from their home.

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They're living abroad.

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They're not home anymore.

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They've been driven away from their home.

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They're literal exiles and
their spiritual exiles.

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We are spiritual exiles.

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We're not home here.

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Peter's been addressing things
like our future hope of being

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with Christ in eternity.

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He's been talking about how our,
our trials testified to the, the

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certainty of our faith and the,
the precious value of our faith.

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So that we'll obtain the
salvation that's waiting for us.

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He's been talking about persecution.

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He's been talking about
suffering under unjust leadership

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of emperors and governors.

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He's talked about the
master slave relationship.

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He's talked about submitting
ourselves to the example of Christ

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and suffering, and now he's talking
about marriage, wives and husbands.

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What that tells us is
God cares about marriage.

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Marriage matters to him.

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God didn't say, Hey, you've got
other things that are more important

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than just trying to survive
during a time of persecution.

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God's saying, no, I, I care about
how you're doing as a husband.

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I care about how you're
doing as a wife right now.

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And the way that he's calling husbands
to live with their wives is to live

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with their wives in an understanding
way that is according to knowledge, and

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the knowledge is we're about to see.

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He has to do with a knowledge
of the man's wife and a

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knowledge of God's role for him.

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In fact, that's point
number one this morning.

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It's this, know your
wife and know your role.

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Know your wife and know your role

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to know our wives.

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Uh, remember one of the best pieces of
advice that I ever got in college was

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not to always do the Disneyland dates.

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We were in California, so that
made more sense out there.

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Uh, but what them, what they meant by
that was, Hey, don't always do the,

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the, the nice restaurant don't always
do the like, Hey, let's get dressed up

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and go out together, kind of a date.

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And the reason being is that makes it
more difficult to really get to know the

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person that is the real person, right?

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We can all with varying amounts
of work, granted, we can all

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look good if we work at it.

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To, to go out somewhere.

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I was talking about myself, guys.

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I'm not, don't, don't be offended.

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That was about me.

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That was about me.

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We can all dress ourselves up and look
good to, to go out together, right?

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That, that's not all that hard to do.

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And we can put out a facade.

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But what my, my buddy told me is he said,
you need to take your wife out or your,

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your girlfriend at the time, you need to
take her out and you need to go shop for

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toothpaste together so that you can see if
she's one of those weirdos that buys the

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cinnamon toothpaste so that you can say.

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Mm.

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Noting that one for future reference.

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She's not, by the way.

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Um, but you need to have those real
life dates where you're getting to

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know people, where you're talking about
things where you're not just out to

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have fun at the theme park and then
drop someone back off and go about life.

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You need to do life together even while
you're dating so that you get to know

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that person because that's the real
person that you're gonna wake up next to.

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In marriage.

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As husbands, then we, we have to
know our wives, and if we think for

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a second that the pursuit of knowing
our wives stops when we get married.

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Then we are doing it wrong.

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That's just the beginning of the
pursuit of our knowledge of our wives.

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We have to know things about
the woman that we're married to.

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To live with her in an understanding
way is to understand her.

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It's to know her.

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It's to know her desires.

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W what is she after?

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What are, what are the things
that she hopes for in life?

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Where does she want to to
be with in, in five years?

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Does she want to, if she's working,
does she want to keep working?

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What about her desires for your family?

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Have you talked to her?

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Have you found, does she want more kids?

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Does she not want more kids?

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What are her desires as
far as your, your future?

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The, the plans for the
summertime, things like that.

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Be pursuing, knowing your
wife, what are her desires?

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Know also what her fears are.

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What are the things that
she loses sleep over?

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What causes her to feel anxious?

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Man, you should know that about your wife.

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What are her goals?

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What are her frustrations?

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What are her pet peeves?

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Not so that you can push the buttons.

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Know her strengths, know her
weaknesses, know her emotional state.

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Be attuned to that.

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Know her spiritual condition.

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These are ways that as men, that,
that we need to know our wives, that

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we need to be pursuing our wives.

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And, and that's the thing.

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If, if we're gonna know them that
way, it, it requires effort from us.

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00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:12,510
We have to pursue, we have
to take that next step.

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00:11:13,650 --> 00:11:17,490
In other words, if you're dating
relationship ended when you said, I do,

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then again, you're not doing it right.

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00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:21,990
There's more to that.

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Our wives are complex
creatures and ladies, I mean

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00:11:25,319 --> 00:11:26,640
that in a complimentary way.

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00:11:27,719 --> 00:11:30,479
They're complex creatures and if
we stop pursuing them, we will find

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00:11:30,479 --> 00:11:33,359
that our knowledge of them atrophies
just like a muscle that's not used.

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00:11:34,439 --> 00:11:37,890
And so we need to be working that
muscle of knowing our wives out.

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Your wife wants to be pursued men.

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00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,680
She wants you to schedule the date night.

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00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,325
She wants you to ask her questions.

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00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,125
In fact, let me give you some helps here.

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00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:52,275
'cause I, I found this real yesterday
on Instagram, which I had no

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00:11:52,275 --> 00:11:54,705
idea was gonna work its way into
the sermon, and yet here it is.

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00:11:55,695 --> 00:11:58,215
It's this guy that helps you
continue conversations when

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00:11:58,215 --> 00:11:59,625
conversations are difficult to have.

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00:11:59,955 --> 00:12:02,835
So if, if you need some prompts, man,
here's, here's some prompts for you.

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00:12:02,835 --> 00:12:04,365
The first one, tell me more about that.

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00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,635
You get home from work and you're
talking to your wife and she,

254
00:12:07,755 --> 00:12:09,045
she mentioned something to you.

255
00:12:09,045 --> 00:12:09,710
Uh, tell me more about that.

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00:12:10,875 --> 00:12:11,775
And then listen.

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Okay.

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00:12:11,985 --> 00:12:12,945
That's the other part too.

259
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:14,775
You got, you gotta listen.

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00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:14,985
Okay.

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00:12:14,985 --> 00:12:16,695
We're not just, Hey, tell
me more and then tune out.

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You gotta listen.

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00:12:18,465 --> 00:12:19,335
Tell me more about that.

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00:12:20,145 --> 00:12:22,965
Or something happens to her, Hey,
tell me what was that like for you?

265
00:12:24,314 --> 00:12:27,885
Or you just come home and, and instead
of saying, Hey, how was your day?

266
00:12:27,885 --> 00:12:29,895
What were some of the
highlights of your day to day?

267
00:12:29,895 --> 00:12:29,905
Day-to-day?

268
00:12:30,645 --> 00:12:33,075
Taking that active interest, pursuing
her, getting to know her, ask her

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00:12:33,075 --> 00:12:35,085
questions, put her fears at ease.

270
00:12:36,060 --> 00:12:39,270
That's another way for you to to
know her is to know those anxieties,

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00:12:39,270 --> 00:12:41,970
know those fears, and to help her
by putting those fears at ease.

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00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:45,960
She wants to be pursued by you asking
her opinion, her wisdom on something.

273
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:50,250
She wants to be pursued by, by
you knowing when she's upset.

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00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:55,050
She wants to be pursued by you pushing her
to grow in her relationship with Jesus.

275
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:58,439
She wants to be pursued by
you, communicating with her,

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00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:00,915
talking through things with her.

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00:13:01,710 --> 00:13:04,020
A lot of good can be done in
marriages if we begin to take the

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00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:05,820
initiative in some of these areas.

279
00:13:06,900 --> 00:13:11,130
But it's not enough only that a, a,
a husband should know his wife, but

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00:13:11,130 --> 00:13:14,760
also that he should know God's role
for his relationship with his wife.

281
00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:19,260
A lot of what I've just said could be
preached to a, a Ted talk to a room

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00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,670
full of just men that aren't believers.

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00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:24,270
But in the church, we're called
to be different because we're also

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00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,459
called, not just to know our wives,
but we're also called to know

285
00:13:26,459 --> 00:13:28,530
what God's role is for us in this.

286
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:31,079
And thankfully, God is
not obscure on that.

287
00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:33,689
God has laid out for us what
he wants our role to be.

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00:13:33,689 --> 00:13:35,850
And we read it during our scripture
reading, but here it is again

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00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:37,079
from Ephesians chapter five.

290
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:38,760
25 through 30.

291
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:42,119
Husbands love your wives as Christ
loved the church and gave himself up

292
00:13:42,119 --> 00:13:44,280
for her that he might sanctify her.

293
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,489
Having cleansed her by the washing of
water with the word so that he might

294
00:13:47,489 --> 00:13:51,780
present the church to himself in splendor
without spot or wrinkle, or any such

295
00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:56,790
thing that she might be holy and without
blemish In the same way, husbands should

296
00:13:56,790 --> 00:13:58,829
love their wives as their own bodies.

297
00:13:58,979 --> 00:14:00,630
He who loves his wife, loves him.

298
00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:01,709
Self first.

299
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:05,430
No one ever hated his own flesh,
but nourishes and cherishes it.

300
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:09,720
Just as Christ does the church,
because we are members of his body,

301
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,709
men, there are two facets of knowing
our role in loving our wives.

302
00:14:13,709 --> 00:14:15,569
The first is to love them sacrificially.

303
00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:17,670
To love them sacrificially.

304
00:14:17,910 --> 00:14:22,740
Husbands, love your wives as Christ
loved the church and gave himself

305
00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:25,500
up for her to love your wife.

306
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:27,564
Sacrificially men means
to pursue her good.

307
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,140
It means that you cherish her.

308
00:14:31,469 --> 00:14:37,530
You honor her, you protect her, you defend
her, you point her to Jesus every day.

309
00:14:39,180 --> 00:14:42,089
To know your wife, men is to, like
Philippians two, calls us to, to

310
00:14:42,089 --> 00:14:46,650
put her needs before your own, to
put her interests before your own.

311
00:14:48,239 --> 00:14:48,900
To love your wife.

312
00:14:48,959 --> 00:14:54,300
Sacrificially meant is to work hard at the
marriage and for the good of the marriage.

313
00:14:55,050 --> 00:14:58,080
To love your wife sacrificially is
to be quick to seek forgiveness when

314
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,520
you've sinned against your wife.

315
00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:05,640
To love your wife sacrificially is to to
repent and to, to not wallow in self-pity

316
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:09,900
or shame, but to seek to correct behavior
when you need to correct behavior.

317
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:14,970
To love your wife sacrificially is not
to hold onto wrongs, but to be quick

318
00:15:14,970 --> 00:15:16,650
to forgive when you're sinned against.

319
00:15:17,820 --> 00:15:21,300
To love your wife sacrificially is to
offer strong and clear direction without

320
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,130
being heavy handed or overbearing.

321
00:15:24,954 --> 00:15:28,260
To love your wife sacrificially
is to realize that your spiritual

322
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:31,050
wellbeing has a direct correlation
with how well you're loving her.

323
00:15:33,359 --> 00:15:36,540
Which brings me to the second part of
knowing your role, which is not just a

324
00:15:36,540 --> 00:15:38,280
sacrificial love, but a sanctifying love.

325
00:15:40,079 --> 00:15:40,829
A sanctifying love.

326
00:15:40,829 --> 00:15:44,369
If we're to love our wives in an
understanding way, we need to know that

327
00:15:44,369 --> 00:15:48,689
God desires of us to, to love her in
a way that makes her more like Christ.

328
00:15:49,499 --> 00:15:51,329
And that's the the purpose of your love.

329
00:15:51,329 --> 00:15:52,499
Husbands for your wife.

330
00:15:53,595 --> 00:15:56,895
Ultimately, it's not your own pleasure,
your own satisfaction, your own good.

331
00:15:56,895 --> 00:15:58,545
It's that she would be more like Jesus.

332
00:15:59,235 --> 00:16:01,605
In fact, when I do premarital counseling
with people, one of the things that I

333
00:16:01,605 --> 00:16:05,535
will often say and challenge the young
men with is this, that your wife, in the

334
00:16:05,535 --> 00:16:09,735
end, when you stand before Jesus, your
wife should be more like Jesus because

335
00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:12,345
she was married to you than she would've
been had she not been married to you.

336
00:16:14,145 --> 00:16:17,085
That's on you and how you love her.

337
00:16:18,585 --> 00:16:21,255
She has a responsibility as well,
and we'll talk about that next week.

338
00:16:21,255 --> 00:16:21,465
Some.

339
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:26,130
But men love your wife in a way
that makes her more like Jesus.

340
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:28,020
How do I do that?

341
00:16:28,949 --> 00:16:31,530
It's a love that
initiates prayer with her.

342
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,130
It's a love that prioritizes the church.

343
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,939
In other words, men, you need
to love your wife, such that

344
00:16:38,939 --> 00:16:39,780
you say, Hey, you know what?

345
00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:42,719
We should probably turn off the TV and
get some rest because it's Saturday night.

346
00:16:42,719 --> 00:16:43,680
We gotta be at church in the morning.

347
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:44,730
We wanna be ready for worship.

348
00:16:45,915 --> 00:16:48,795
Hey, we should get the kids in bed
tonight on a, a timely fashion.

349
00:16:48,795 --> 00:16:50,805
Let's make sure that, that they
know what they're wearing when they

350
00:16:50,805 --> 00:16:53,204
get up tomorrow morning so that it
can be a smooth process for us to

351
00:16:53,204 --> 00:16:54,285
get out the door and get to church.

352
00:16:56,055 --> 00:16:57,135
It prioritizes the church.

353
00:16:57,135 --> 00:16:58,665
It's a love that models godliness.

354
00:17:00,524 --> 00:17:02,325
It's a love that prioritizes the word.

355
00:17:04,335 --> 00:17:06,704
It's a love that that leads in
wise decision making to have

356
00:17:06,704 --> 00:17:08,085
time and energy for the word.

357
00:17:09,719 --> 00:17:12,179
Just like maybe you're gonna turn
the TV off on a Saturday night.

358
00:17:12,179 --> 00:17:14,489
Maybe you're turning the TV off on
a Tuesday night because you know you

359
00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:16,770
gotta get up early in the morning
to get in the word and you want her

360
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:17,790
to be able to do the same thing.

361
00:17:19,679 --> 00:17:22,770
It's a love that sends a text with
the scripture to encourage her when

362
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:23,848
you know she's having a hard day.

363
00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:28,229
It's a love that asks her, Hey,
how's your time in the word been?

364
00:17:28,889 --> 00:17:29,790
What have you been learning?

365
00:17:30,810 --> 00:17:32,820
It's a love that shares
your insights with her.

366
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:37,260
It's a love that memorizes
scripture together.

367
00:17:38,580 --> 00:17:42,570
It's a love that guards the home
from ungodliness says, you know what?

368
00:17:42,570 --> 00:17:44,159
We're not gonna entertain that.

369
00:17:44,159 --> 00:17:45,810
We're not gonna watch
that show that movie.

370
00:17:45,810 --> 00:17:46,949
We're not gonna listen to that.

371
00:17:48,780 --> 00:17:50,520
It's a love that confronts sin.

372
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,189
It's a love that confesses sin.

373
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:58,080
It's a love that prays for her
and asks how you can pray for her.

374
00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:03,000
It's a love that takes the lead in the
spiritual oversight of your children.

375
00:18:04,469 --> 00:18:05,639
This is a sanctifying love.

376
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,620
And so God has called us as men to live
with our wives in an understanding way.

377
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:12,900
And that doesn't just mean
understanding in the sense of,

378
00:18:13,230 --> 00:18:16,440
well, sometimes women can be hard to
understand and I need to work at it.

379
00:18:17,550 --> 00:18:20,910
It's to live in a way that you know
her and you know what God's calling

380
00:18:20,910 --> 00:18:23,190
you to do in relation to her.

381
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:26,580
That you're gonna love her
sacrificially and you're gonna love

382
00:18:26,580 --> 00:18:29,250
her with a sanctifying love man.

383
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,920
If you're married, your wife has
been given to you as a stewardship.

384
00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:36,360
She's been given to you by God to care
for and his desires, that you live

385
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,870
with her in an understanding way to
understand who he's made her to be

386
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:41,820
and how he's called you to treat her.

387
00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:47,070
And if we do that, then where Peter goes
next, we'll come more naturally for us.

388
00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:50,280
Not always, I understand
that, but ideally it will.

389
00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:54,330
Peter goes on, he says this, that we
need to be showing honor to the woman

390
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:57,745
as the weaker vessel since they are
heirs with you of the grace of life.

391
00:18:58,980 --> 00:19:01,350
Showing honor to the woman as the
weaker vessel since they're heirs

392
00:19:01,350 --> 00:19:02,970
with you of the grace of life.

393
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:06,600
To understand what it means here in this
second section, to show honor to our

394
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,270
wives, we have to understand what it
means that they're the weaker vessel.

395
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:14,100
And I know that that is a, a phrase that
probably doesn't feel all warm and fuzzy

396
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,300
for some of the ladies in the room.

397
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,720
But I want to set your, your
concerns at ease that Peter was

398
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,580
not implying an inferiority here.

399
00:19:21,210 --> 00:19:25,410
Uh, Peter's not in implying an inferiority
in character and status in intellect.

400
00:19:26,475 --> 00:19:29,445
And you say, well, how do you know
that after all, the Greco-Roman culture

401
00:19:29,445 --> 00:19:30,975
was a pretty patriarchal society?

402
00:19:31,784 --> 00:19:34,335
We've talked about it recently on
the Daily Bible Podcast, but it's

403
00:19:34,335 --> 00:19:37,485
interesting that the way it worked is
that God had women be some of the first

404
00:19:37,485 --> 00:19:39,044
witnesses of the resurrected Christ.

405
00:19:39,990 --> 00:19:42,629
That's not how it would've been
done if this was a man made book

406
00:19:42,629 --> 00:19:45,270
because the testimony of women
was discounted during this time.

407
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:48,510
And so if this is a society and a
culture that doesn't even really

408
00:19:48,510 --> 00:19:52,110
honor the testimony of women,
isn't this just another example

409
00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:53,280
of the misogyny of scripture?

410
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,890
And isn't this just Peter being
patriarchal and can't we just set

411
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:59,490
this aside and move past and we've
evolved past this idea that the

412
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,110
women are the, the weaker vessel?

413
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:04,800
Well, I wanna suggest that's not what
Peter meant, and we know that because

414
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,000
of what he says right after this.

415
00:20:07,050 --> 00:20:11,185
He says, since they are heirs
with you of the grace of life.

416
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:15,570
Uh, there's a possibility to
read that as, as just their heirs

417
00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:16,860
with you of, of life in general.

418
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:18,899
They've been given life just
like you've been given life.

419
00:20:19,649 --> 00:20:22,439
But I think because Peter
uses the word heir, right?

420
00:20:22,439 --> 00:20:25,050
And he's been talking about our
inheritance earlier in chapter one,

421
00:20:25,050 --> 00:20:27,240
which is an eternal inheritance
that we have with Christ.

422
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,320
And also when we think about Paul's
words about the heirs being heirs with

423
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:35,010
Christ in Romans eight, I think there's
validity here when he talks about the

424
00:20:35,010 --> 00:20:37,230
grace of life to see this as eternal life.

425
00:20:37,949 --> 00:20:40,020
In other words, I think Peter's
addressing, believing husbands

426
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:41,460
with believing wives primarily.

427
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:46,320
Saying to them, Hey, live with them in
an understanding way showing honor them

428
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,200
as the weaker vessel since they are
heirs with you of the grace of life.

429
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:52,080
And so that's how we know that this
is not about an inferiority when

430
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,040
he calls them the weaker vessel.

431
00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:57,284
Because they are fellow heirs when
it comes to the eternal standing.

432
00:20:57,284 --> 00:20:59,985
They are fellow heirs when it
comes to God's point of view

433
00:20:59,985 --> 00:21:01,695
on who they are in Christ.

434
00:21:02,205 --> 00:21:04,364
This is what is meant in Galatians 3 28.

435
00:21:04,364 --> 00:21:07,935
By the way, when Paul says, there's
neither Jew nor Greek, nor slave,

436
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:12,165
nor free, nor male, nor female,
for you are all one in Christ.

437
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,770
He's not obliterating any
distinctions as way as far as

438
00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:17,970
the way we see them right now.

439
00:21:17,970 --> 00:21:21,120
What he's doing is, is he's saying
that it's not as though any of these

440
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:25,890
categories are better, eternally speaking,
are better when it comes to the, the

441
00:21:25,890 --> 00:21:27,720
rights of eternal life than any other.

442
00:21:28,470 --> 00:21:31,649
But that when we are in eternity
together, we are one in Christ.

443
00:21:31,649 --> 00:21:33,540
We are men and women in Christ.

444
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,330
There's no master slave relationship
there that would have that

445
00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:38,310
hierarchical distinction any longer.

446
00:21:39,060 --> 00:21:40,500
And so that's what Paul's saying there.

447
00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,030
He's saying the same thing
that Peter's saying here.

448
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:45,300
There's a an equal worth and
value that we have in Christ.

449
00:21:45,629 --> 00:21:47,879
And so that's not what he
means by weaker vessel.

450
00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:49,560
But what does he mean by him?

451
00:21:49,679 --> 00:21:54,000
Well, notice he says this, he says,
show honor to her as the weaker vessel.

452
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,685
He says, show honor to the, to the woman.

453
00:21:56,865 --> 00:22:00,225
He doesn't use the word wife there, but
the more general term for, for women.

454
00:22:00,225 --> 00:22:04,245
And I think there he's implying something
that hopefully all of us can agree.

455
00:22:04,245 --> 00:22:08,445
And that is typically not every
time, but typically by and large

456
00:22:08,445 --> 00:22:09,705
men are stronger than women.

457
00:22:10,065 --> 00:22:11,355
Yes, we can agree with that.

458
00:22:11,355 --> 00:22:15,435
I think that's a a, a
reality that is observable.

459
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:16,245
It was observable then.

460
00:22:16,245 --> 00:22:16,880
It's observable now.

461
00:22:17,415 --> 00:22:20,115
And, and that's not about one
being better than the other.

462
00:22:20,504 --> 00:22:22,814
That's just a natural way that
God has designed men and women.

463
00:22:22,814 --> 00:22:25,995
God has designed men to be the stronger
sex and women to be the fairer sex.

464
00:22:26,534 --> 00:22:30,524
And so I think Peter's addressing that,
saying that has a bearing on how we relate

465
00:22:30,524 --> 00:22:32,985
to the women in our lives as husbands.

466
00:22:33,705 --> 00:22:36,765
But then beyond that too, remember the
context Peter's has been addressing

467
00:22:36,765 --> 00:22:40,935
is the idea of the subjection of
power structures in relationships.

468
00:22:41,295 --> 00:22:43,665
He's dealt with the governors
and he's dealt with the citizens.

469
00:22:43,815 --> 00:22:46,095
He's dealt with the masters and
he is dealt with the slaves.

470
00:22:46,305 --> 00:22:49,155
Now he's dealing with wives
submitting to their husbands.

471
00:22:49,155 --> 00:22:52,815
So in the authority structure of
the relationship, the wife is in

472
00:22:52,815 --> 00:22:55,815
the weaker position in the sense
that she's the one submitting to

473
00:22:55,815 --> 00:22:56,925
the husband's leadership there.

474
00:22:57,690 --> 00:23:00,330
And so she's the weaker vessel,
even just in the authority

475
00:23:00,330 --> 00:23:01,560
structure of the relationship.

476
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,070
So Peter's writing to the husband saying,
husbands, don't Lord that over them.

477
00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:07,710
Don't rule in an ungodly way.

478
00:23:08,310 --> 00:23:12,420
Don't be, don't misuse the authority
God has given you in that, but instead

479
00:23:12,420 --> 00:23:14,790
show honor to them as the weaker vessel.

480
00:23:15,630 --> 00:23:19,500
This is what God wants for the husband,
that if we know our wives and we

481
00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:22,320
know the role God has called us to
that we would honor her this way.

482
00:23:23,010 --> 00:23:26,460
And this is our call, even if this is
not just referring to believing wives.

483
00:23:27,135 --> 00:23:29,865
Perhaps there's husbands in the room
that have wives that are unbelievers.

484
00:23:30,135 --> 00:23:33,015
I think Peter's call, God's Call
on You is still the same, to show

485
00:23:33,015 --> 00:23:35,595
honor to her as the weaker vessel.

486
00:23:36,405 --> 00:23:40,215
And God would love for us as
a church to be known by that.

487
00:23:40,695 --> 00:23:42,615
Point number two, this morning as
we think about what it looks like

488
00:23:42,615 --> 00:23:46,515
to be a Godly husband responding to
God's call on his life is this, be

489
00:23:46,515 --> 00:23:48,915
careful in caring for God's daughter.

490
00:23:50,115 --> 00:23:53,535
Be careful in caring for God's daughter.

491
00:23:56,655 --> 00:24:01,635
When am Amanda was still my girlfriend
and I decided I wanted to marry her.

492
00:24:01,635 --> 00:24:04,935
I went to have dinner with her
parents, uh, at Applebee's.

493
00:24:04,935 --> 00:24:07,754
It's like one, one time that
I've ever been to Applebee's.

494
00:24:08,745 --> 00:24:09,524
And it went well.

495
00:24:09,524 --> 00:24:10,995
It wasn't a bad experience either.

496
00:24:11,145 --> 00:24:13,784
Um, but anyways, I asked
them for permission.

497
00:24:13,784 --> 00:24:16,425
And one of the things that her mom
told me in that meeting, and it always

498
00:24:16,425 --> 00:24:21,105
stuck with me is she said, PJ Parenting
is the one job where if you do it

499
00:24:21,105 --> 00:24:22,360
well, you work yourself out of a job.

500
00:24:23,685 --> 00:24:24,794
I thought, man, that's profound.

501
00:24:26,175 --> 00:24:29,925
That's true from a, a human perspective,
but not from God's perspective.

502
00:24:30,825 --> 00:24:35,715
In other words, when my father-in-law,
when I got married, gave away.

503
00:24:35,715 --> 00:24:35,925
Right?

504
00:24:35,925 --> 00:24:37,004
That's why we do that.

505
00:24:37,245 --> 00:24:38,330
Who gives this woman to be married?

506
00:24:39,090 --> 00:24:40,050
Her mother and I do.

507
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:40,410
Right.

508
00:24:40,410 --> 00:24:43,110
And it's the symbolic
transfer of authority.

509
00:24:43,110 --> 00:24:47,460
It's the the symbolic transfer of
now you are responsible for her.

510
00:24:47,550 --> 00:24:47,850
Right.

511
00:24:47,850 --> 00:24:49,200
And that's what that is all about.

512
00:24:49,890 --> 00:24:54,629
When, when that happened, my father-in-law
gave Amanda to me to be my wife.

513
00:24:54,660 --> 00:24:57,750
I took her into my care and my protection.

514
00:24:57,750 --> 00:24:59,850
She's now, I'm responsible for that.

515
00:24:59,850 --> 00:25:01,560
No longer is her dad responsible for that.

516
00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:07,440
God is still my wife's
ultimate father and authority.

517
00:25:08,490 --> 00:25:15,180
I am caring for his daughter as her
husband and that that will never change.

518
00:25:16,230 --> 00:25:18,870
God has given her to me as a
stewardship, but he has not

519
00:25:18,870 --> 00:25:21,000
relinquished authority over my wife.

520
00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:25,710
He's still ultimately her authority,
and as I care for her, I need to

521
00:25:25,710 --> 00:25:27,690
care for her in a way that's careful.

522
00:25:27,780 --> 00:25:32,610
With that in mind, we teach our,
our, our kids from the time that

523
00:25:32,610 --> 00:25:34,410
they're young, to be careful with
those that are weaker than them.

524
00:25:34,410 --> 00:25:34,650
Yes.

525
00:25:35,550 --> 00:25:37,320
I remember with my son Luke.

526
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:42,750
Uh, we had the, the twins at the time,
and I think John was maybe three weeks old

527
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:44,820
and he's in this little bassinet swing.

528
00:25:44,970 --> 00:25:48,720
And, and Luke was a terroror
and he still is in the best way.

529
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:54,510
If you guys don't know Luke, um, you know
the New Zealand haka dance that they do.

530
00:25:55,275 --> 00:25:55,545
Okay.

531
00:25:55,995 --> 00:25:57,885
Uh, we have zero kiwi in our family.

532
00:25:57,945 --> 00:25:59,025
None that I know of.

533
00:25:59,025 --> 00:26:02,385
At least Luke at 18 months
old was in a diaper doing the

534
00:26:02,385 --> 00:26:04,095
haka dance just naturally.

535
00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:05,295
It was just in his blood.

536
00:26:05,625 --> 00:26:07,035
Just we have video of him doing it.

537
00:26:07,035 --> 00:26:09,105
We're like, what is wrong with his child?

538
00:26:09,735 --> 00:26:12,225
Um, he brings so much
joy to our family though.

539
00:26:12,495 --> 00:26:14,355
But, but Luke loves a ball too.

540
00:26:14,715 --> 00:26:17,895
And so John is sitting in this
bassinet, this swing thing, a a

541
00:26:17,895 --> 00:26:20,775
few weeks old at most, and Luke
decides, let's play catch with John.

542
00:26:22,125 --> 00:26:24,855
So Luke stands like three feet
away and just starts chucking

543
00:26:24,855 --> 00:26:28,755
the ball at his brother and
the ball stays in the bassinet.

544
00:26:28,755 --> 00:26:31,575
And in Luke's 18 month old mind,
he's like, good catch John.

545
00:26:31,635 --> 00:26:33,705
And so he is like clapping for John.

546
00:26:33,705 --> 00:26:36,285
And, and John is, his life
is fing before his eyes.

547
00:26:37,365 --> 00:26:41,140
And we had to teach Luke, Luke, you've
gotta be gentle with your little brothers.

548
00:26:41,265 --> 00:26:43,185
You can't treat your little
brothers the way that you

549
00:26:43,185 --> 00:26:44,565
treat your older brother Josh.

550
00:26:44,895 --> 00:26:45,195
Right?

551
00:26:45,915 --> 00:26:48,555
And so we had to teach him that, right?

552
00:26:48,555 --> 00:26:48,975
Remember?

553
00:26:49,035 --> 00:26:49,365
Um.

554
00:26:49,845 --> 00:26:50,385
Being younger.

555
00:26:50,385 --> 00:26:54,975
My, my grandpa made me a, uh, a stage
coach, a wooden stage coach, and I

556
00:26:54,975 --> 00:26:59,145
remember my dad gave it to me and he said,
pj, you, you have to treat this carefully.

557
00:26:59,655 --> 00:27:00,645
This isn't a toy.

558
00:27:00,645 --> 00:27:01,905
This is something to look at.

559
00:27:02,955 --> 00:27:05,025
Uh, and he said, if you're not
careful with it, you'll break it.

560
00:27:06,345 --> 00:27:07,095
And I broke it

561
00:27:09,135 --> 00:27:11,535
because I thought, man, GI
Joe isn't a stage coach.

562
00:27:11,535 --> 00:27:12,675
Does it get any better than that?

563
00:27:12,675 --> 00:27:17,205
I don't think it does, but we know
from the time that we're little

564
00:27:17,205 --> 00:27:18,555
what it is to treat something.

565
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:24,450
Uh, with, with, with care, because it's
precious and it's valuable to us, right?

566
00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:28,770
When we hold a baby, we, we are
careful with that baby because that

567
00:27:28,770 --> 00:27:31,470
life is precious, invaluable to us.

568
00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:36,060
We look at that, that baby and say that
baby is is weaker than we are, but we

569
00:27:36,060 --> 00:27:38,145
don't despise the baby for its weakness.

570
00:27:39,235 --> 00:27:44,160
We value, we cherish that child and we're
gonna care for that child very carefully.

571
00:27:45,510 --> 00:27:46,200
That's.

572
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,050
In part the way a husband
should care for his wife.

573
00:27:50,699 --> 00:27:53,730
Chivalry has taken a backseat in our
culture, and I think we need to give it

574
00:27:53,730 --> 00:28:00,209
the, the front seat again, opening doors
for someone walking on the, the street

575
00:28:00,209 --> 00:28:04,530
side of the sidewalk, which that goes
back to medieval times when the, the

576
00:28:04,590 --> 00:28:07,290
sewage would've run through the streets
and as a carriage came by, it would

577
00:28:07,290 --> 00:28:10,980
splash up the, the nastiness and the, it
was the man's responsibility to shield

578
00:28:10,980 --> 00:28:13,830
his, his wife from that getting on her.

579
00:28:14,895 --> 00:28:19,545
And so, but even that symbolic act
today is important things that we

580
00:28:19,545 --> 00:28:24,645
can do, being mindful as men of
what we talk about around women, the

581
00:28:24,645 --> 00:28:26,955
noises that are made around women.

582
00:28:28,185 --> 00:28:30,825
There's a, a chance, an opportunity,
and, and I think a, a good one for

583
00:28:30,825 --> 00:28:35,145
us to regain some of these virtues in
an effort to show honor to the women

584
00:28:35,145 --> 00:28:37,215
in our lives as the weaker vessel.

585
00:28:38,265 --> 00:28:40,905
But again, I could preach that
to a room full of unbelievers.

586
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,580
And so showing honor to her as the
weaker vessel is even more than that,

587
00:28:44,580 --> 00:28:46,710
and it's, it's a spiritual care for her.

588
00:28:47,490 --> 00:28:51,090
Not that women are spiritually weak
compared to men, but that men have

589
00:28:51,090 --> 00:28:54,750
been given the charge and task by
God to lead their wives spiritually.

590
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,260
And so to do that, men, we have
to make sure that we ourselves

591
00:28:58,260 --> 00:28:59,250
are spiritually healthy.

592
00:29:00,510 --> 00:29:04,050
Your wife is gonna benefit if you
love Jesus more than you love her.

593
00:29:06,510 --> 00:29:09,060
When you're taking care of your walk with
Christ, you're gonna be better equipped

594
00:29:09,060 --> 00:29:10,740
to love her and to treat her well.

595
00:29:11,850 --> 00:29:15,870
In Ephesians chapter five, Paul used
that word cherish the word cherish.

596
00:29:15,875 --> 00:29:17,280
I, I love the, the imagery here.

597
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:21,090
It's from a, a Greek word that
means to keep warm, to keep her warm

598
00:29:23,100 --> 00:29:23,250
man.

599
00:29:23,250 --> 00:29:29,010
Is there warmth in your marriage, not
just physically, but is there warmth

600
00:29:29,010 --> 00:29:33,180
in your marriage such that, that you
are caring for her spiritually as well?

601
00:29:33,389 --> 00:29:36,870
You're showing honor to her by pursuing
her with that sanctifying love that

602
00:29:36,870 --> 00:29:38,100
we were talking about earlier too.

603
00:29:39,780 --> 00:29:42,360
This goes back to that sanctifying
love and the sacrificial love.

604
00:29:43,770 --> 00:29:47,880
Matthew chapter 20, Jesus said to
his followers, he said, the authority

605
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:52,230
that you do have don't Lord it over
other people like the Gentiles do.

606
00:29:53,550 --> 00:29:55,950
Instead, he said this, he said,
whoever would be great among

607
00:29:55,950 --> 00:29:56,910
you should be your servant.

608
00:29:57,330 --> 00:29:59,400
Whoever would be first among
you must be your slave.

609
00:29:59,940 --> 00:30:02,310
Even as the son of man came not
to be served, but to serve and to

610
00:30:02,310 --> 00:30:04,530
give his life as a ransom for many.

611
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,750
And so as Peter's charging the men
with caring for their wives in an

612
00:30:09,750 --> 00:30:13,890
understanding fashion, I think he's
anticipating that that concern that

613
00:30:13,890 --> 00:30:17,340
a husband could be overbearing, could
lead his wife in a way that is like

614
00:30:17,340 --> 00:30:19,320
the Gentiles lording it over her.

615
00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:29,700
The word abuse has taken on, uh, a
life of its own in our, our culture.

616
00:30:30,675 --> 00:30:34,335
It's a word that is, is deeper
and wider than I have time

617
00:30:34,335 --> 00:30:36,225
to get into fully right now,

618
00:30:39,435 --> 00:30:41,895
but I, I do want to
address it in this context.

619
00:30:41,895 --> 00:30:44,025
In fact, there's some commentators
that believe that Peter was even

620
00:30:44,025 --> 00:30:47,325
specifically addressing spiritual abuse
in this passage by referring to the

621
00:30:47,325 --> 00:30:50,175
wife as the weaker vessel and telling
husbands to honor their wives in this.

622
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,520
Last week, my daughter was at
school and she and a friend were

623
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:00,330
sitting at a lunch table and, and
down the table from them was a, a

624
00:31:00,330 --> 00:31:02,760
couple, a boyfriend and girlfriend
apparently, that were sitting together.

625
00:31:03,465 --> 00:31:06,915
And a girl came up and said something
very mean about one of the, about the

626
00:31:06,915 --> 00:31:10,275
girlfriend that was sitting at the table,
and her boyfriend responded by calling

627
00:31:10,275 --> 00:31:14,055
the girl a name to which the girl that
had started things opened up her Gatorade

628
00:31:14,055 --> 00:31:16,365
and, and dumped it on one or both of them.

629
00:31:17,325 --> 00:31:21,375
The boyfriend stood up and
punched this girl in the face.

630
00:31:22,785 --> 00:31:24,315
Thank you for groaning under that.

631
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,935
And, and I, I tell you what, I was
glad that my daughter came home and

632
00:31:28,935 --> 00:31:31,605
felt that that was so outta place that
she knew to, to bring it up to us.

633
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,880
And that led to a
conversation with our boys.

634
00:31:37,140 --> 00:31:40,770
You never, ever, ever punch a girl.

635
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,310
You never put your hands on
a girl violently to hurt her,

636
00:31:44,310 --> 00:31:45,600
to inflict pain upon her.

637
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:50,760
For a man to physically hurt.

638
00:31:50,790 --> 00:31:56,160
His wife is one of the greatest
perversions and abdication of his

639
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:57,630
role as a husband that I can think of.

640
00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:05,640
In fact, Paul would even say that
it's a form of self-hatred because

641
00:32:05,790 --> 00:32:08,280
Paul called husbands to love
their wives as their own bodies.

642
00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:13,710
I can't think of a, a justifiable reason.

643
00:32:13,710 --> 00:32:16,530
Short of self-defense to lay
violent hands on your wife.

644
00:32:17,940 --> 00:32:21,060
And, and when I say self-defense,
I'm talking about restraining her.

645
00:32:21,445 --> 00:32:25,470
I'm not talking about hitting,
I'm not talking about retaliating.

646
00:32:30,425 --> 00:32:35,430
I, I, yeah, I, this is heavy, but I
wanna speak into it because I know

647
00:32:35,430 --> 00:32:37,950
it's, it's not something that's
foreign to the church, unfortunately,

648
00:32:40,380 --> 00:32:42,630
man, if, if you are being
physically violent with your

649
00:32:42,630 --> 00:32:44,910
wife, you are engrave sin,

650
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:48,450
and there is no room for it.

651
00:32:49,830 --> 00:32:50,970
It is not manly.

652
00:32:51,210 --> 00:32:52,290
It is not strong.

653
00:32:52,980 --> 00:32:56,040
It is as far from Godly
as you can possibly be

654
00:33:01,110 --> 00:33:01,740
by extension.

655
00:33:01,740 --> 00:33:03,270
Ladies, can I say the same to you?

656
00:33:03,330 --> 00:33:08,490
Also, though, for you to physically
abuse your husbands is equally an

657
00:33:08,490 --> 00:33:10,320
abdication of your role in their life.

658
00:33:13,110 --> 00:33:16,889
But we were talking about men
this morning, and so I wanna be as

659
00:33:16,889 --> 00:33:18,600
strong and clear as I possibly can.

660
00:33:21,075 --> 00:33:24,315
Man, if that is you, I,
I need you to get help.

661
00:33:25,784 --> 00:33:29,145
I need you to come in and meet with me
or with Pastor Rod, or with Pastor Mark.

662
00:33:29,145 --> 00:33:30,915
I need you to come in
and confess that to us.

663
00:33:30,915 --> 00:33:33,585
I need you to say, we want
to, to get help in this

664
00:33:36,105 --> 00:33:37,365
because it's that serious.

665
00:33:39,375 --> 00:33:43,485
In no way, shape, or form is that showing
honor to your wife as the weaker vessel.

666
00:33:47,985 --> 00:33:51,945
There's other forms of abuse that
are likewise sinful, verbal abuse.

667
00:33:52,695 --> 00:33:55,905
Maybe you come home exhausted from work
and, and you take it out on your wife.

668
00:33:55,905 --> 00:33:57,555
She gets the brunt of your frustration.

669
00:33:59,415 --> 00:34:02,985
Maybe it's emotional abuse,
shaming, degrading her,

670
00:34:03,165 --> 00:34:05,985
humiliating her, isolating her.

671
00:34:08,054 --> 00:34:10,425
If you're speaking poorly of
your wife to other people, men,

672
00:34:10,425 --> 00:34:12,360
that's not showing her honor.

673
00:34:14,594 --> 00:34:20,114
Spiritual abuse, the misapplication
of scripture misusing verses

674
00:34:21,135 --> 00:34:22,755
leading with that, that heavy hand.

675
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:26,534
None of these have any place in
your life as a man of God who's

676
00:34:26,534 --> 00:34:29,985
been called to show honor to his
wife as a co-heir with Christ.

677
00:34:33,074 --> 00:34:36,375
God calls us through Paul,
that we should treat our wives

678
00:34:36,375 --> 00:34:37,514
as we treat our own bodies.

679
00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:41,594
And, and maybe you're there,
man, and, and you're going,

680
00:34:41,625 --> 00:34:44,054
okay, but my marriage is hard.

681
00:34:44,985 --> 00:34:46,185
My wife doesn't submit to me.

682
00:34:47,715 --> 00:34:49,635
Our intimacy is, is non-existent.

683
00:34:52,725 --> 00:34:56,625
She's disagreeable, she's harsh.

684
00:34:56,685 --> 00:34:57,465
She nags me.

685
00:34:57,900 --> 00:34:58,120
She

686
00:35:00,705 --> 00:35:01,995
disrespects me in front of our kids.

687
00:35:05,775 --> 00:35:08,505
Again, I'm gonna address
our wives next week,

688
00:35:10,545 --> 00:35:14,145
but then the call for you is still
to pursue faithfulness to the Lord.

689
00:35:16,635 --> 00:35:20,715
I'm not saying it's easy, but you will
never find a single verse in scripture

690
00:35:20,715 --> 00:35:24,075
that says anything about marriage, being
a husband or a wife that says it's easy,

691
00:35:28,215 --> 00:35:30,855
but the call doesn't change
based on our circumstances.

692
00:35:31,995 --> 00:35:34,485
So even if you're a man out there that
would say, well, pastor pj, you said

693
00:35:34,485 --> 00:35:35,625
our wives are a gift from the Lord.

694
00:35:35,625 --> 00:35:37,215
I wouldn't say my wife
is a gift from the Lord.

695
00:35:37,515 --> 00:35:39,585
Uh, then your marriage
is a gift from the Lord.

696
00:35:39,585 --> 00:35:40,155
At least

697
00:35:42,465 --> 00:35:45,645
your obedience to God's command here
are more about your relationship to him

698
00:35:45,645 --> 00:35:50,685
than they are about your relationship
with your wife to honor your wife, even

699
00:35:50,685 --> 00:35:53,685
though you might sit there and think,
well, I don't think she deserves it, is

700
00:35:53,685 --> 00:36:00,225
to store up rewards with the Lord, is
to be faithful to him, is to honor him.

701
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:08,520
And so God's given her to you, even
in that sense to sanctify you and yes,

702
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,550
when everything's working properly
to be the greatest source of joy,

703
00:36:11,550 --> 00:36:13,410
this side of eternity in your life.

704
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,400
In fact, men, God cares so much for
how you fulfill your role as a husband.

705
00:36:21,435 --> 00:36:24,675
That where Peter goes finally here in
our text is he says that he's willing to

706
00:36:24,675 --> 00:36:26,265
interrupt his own fellowship with you.

707
00:36:26,265 --> 00:36:29,625
God, the father's willing to interrupt
his relationship with you, not

708
00:36:29,625 --> 00:36:33,465
sever interrupt to interrupt that
relationship with you when you're

709
00:36:33,465 --> 00:36:34,875
disobedient to him in this fashion.

710
00:36:35,505 --> 00:36:36,285
Look at where Peter ends.

711
00:36:36,285 --> 00:36:41,085
He says this, we're to show her honor as
the weaker vessel since she's a coheir

712
00:36:41,085 --> 00:36:46,725
with us of the grace of life, so that
your prayers may not be hindered, so

713
00:36:46,725 --> 00:36:47,805
that your prayers may not be hindered.

714
00:36:47,805 --> 00:36:49,845
The word hindered there means
to have the way blocked.

715
00:36:50,940 --> 00:36:55,860
To have an obstacle in our way, in our
passage here, it's the path of your

716
00:36:55,860 --> 00:36:59,670
prayers that are hindered, that are
blocked when you're disobedient to the

717
00:36:59,670 --> 00:37:02,580
Lord and how you love your wife, and how
you lead your wife, and how you treat her

718
00:37:04,740 --> 00:37:06,240
sin impedes prayer.

719
00:37:07,530 --> 00:37:09,840
That's the general principle that
Peter's unpacking for us here.

720
00:37:10,740 --> 00:37:12,630
In this instance, he's talking
about how a husband loves

721
00:37:12,630 --> 00:37:14,280
his wife, but he broadens it.

722
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:17,580
If you'll look at one Peter three 12,
just down the, the page five verses

723
00:37:17,580 --> 00:37:20,940
here, look, he says, for the eyes of
the Lord are on the righteous, and

724
00:37:20,940 --> 00:37:22,560
his ears are open to their prayer.

725
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,710
The prayer of the righteous, but
to the face of the, the face of the

726
00:37:25,710 --> 00:37:27,960
Lord is against those who do evil.

727
00:37:29,250 --> 00:37:32,940
It's the same principle there,
or one Peter four, seven, the

728
00:37:32,940 --> 00:37:34,320
end of all things is at hand.

729
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:38,640
Therefore, be self controlled and be
sober minded for the sake of your prayers.

730
00:37:39,315 --> 00:37:40,845
Be self controlled for
the sake of your prayers.

731
00:37:40,935 --> 00:37:42,015
Sin impedes prayer.

732
00:37:42,975 --> 00:37:46,305
And in this instance, Peter is saying
that if we don't love our wives well, if

733
00:37:46,305 --> 00:37:51,435
we don't obey what God's call is on our
lives for how we lead them, how we live

734
00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:55,065
with them, how we show honor to them,
then our prayers are gonna be hindered.

735
00:37:56,085 --> 00:37:56,325
Why?

736
00:37:56,325 --> 00:37:58,035
Because again, they're his daughters.

737
00:37:58,845 --> 00:38:02,835
And also because our disobedience in
this area reveals a heart that is not

738
00:38:02,835 --> 00:38:07,635
submitting to the father, and also could
reveal a heart that's full of hypocrisy.

739
00:38:08,475 --> 00:38:13,335
A pharisaical heart, we could be
drawing near to him with our, our lips,

740
00:38:13,335 --> 00:38:15,015
while our our hearts are far from him.

741
00:38:16,845 --> 00:38:20,475
Jesus went hard after the Pharisees
in Matthew chapter 23 with seven

742
00:38:20,475 --> 00:38:23,685
woes, and so many of those had
to do with their hypocrisy.

743
00:38:24,255 --> 00:38:27,705
They looked one way over here, but
internally they were full of, as he

744
00:38:27,705 --> 00:38:29,050
said, at one point, dead man's bones.

745
00:38:31,125 --> 00:38:34,215
And so men, if, if your life
is in order in so many areas,

746
00:38:34,215 --> 00:38:35,505
but it's out of order here.

747
00:38:36,645 --> 00:38:38,235
God is not going to be pleased with you.

748
00:38:38,235 --> 00:38:39,945
Your relationship with
him is gonna suffer.

749
00:38:42,345 --> 00:38:44,595
Final point this morning, along
those lines is this, love your

750
00:38:44,595 --> 00:38:46,005
wives for the sake of your walk.

751
00:38:48,795 --> 00:38:50,625
Love your wives for the sake of your walk.

752
00:38:56,235 --> 00:38:58,095
Mentioned it briefly earlier,
but let me say it again.

753
00:38:58,095 --> 00:39:01,545
Your obedience to the Lord in this is
more about your relationship with him than

754
00:39:01,545 --> 00:39:02,710
it is your relationship with your wife.

755
00:39:04,575 --> 00:39:09,315
Your wife will benefit greatly as you
love her this way, but this is still more

756
00:39:09,315 --> 00:39:11,805
about your relationship with the Lord than
it is about your relationship with him.

757
00:39:13,305 --> 00:39:17,805
Men, you can be in the word every single
day, praying consistently, memorizing

758
00:39:17,805 --> 00:39:21,945
scripture, showing up at Men's Bible
study, volunteering on Sunday mornings,

759
00:39:22,155 --> 00:39:26,295
volunteering on Wednesday nights,
attending a community group, sharing

760
00:39:26,565 --> 00:39:29,625
the gospel with your neighbors, and
yet if you're not loving your wife

761
00:39:29,625 --> 00:39:32,295
well, Peter says your relationship
with him is going to be hindered.

762
00:39:33,645 --> 00:39:35,475
That's how important marriage is to God.

763
00:39:36,615 --> 00:39:38,115
That's how much it matters to him.

764
00:39:39,465 --> 00:39:39,795
Why?

765
00:39:39,795 --> 00:39:40,155
Again?

766
00:39:40,260 --> 00:39:43,665
'cause Ephesians 5 25 husbands
love your wives as Christ love

767
00:39:43,665 --> 00:39:46,815
the church in Ephesians 5 32.

768
00:39:46,965 --> 00:39:48,975
This mystery is profound,
and I'm saying to you that it

769
00:39:48,975 --> 00:39:50,625
refers to Christ in the church.

770
00:39:50,625 --> 00:39:51,645
The reason is.

771
00:39:51,705 --> 00:39:55,965
It is because when a husband abdicates
his role as a godly husband, when a

772
00:39:55,965 --> 00:39:58,995
husband is not loving his wife the way
that Christ has called them to love their

773
00:39:58,995 --> 00:40:02,325
wives, what it does is it perverts the
picture of the gospel that marriage is

774
00:40:02,325 --> 00:40:06,045
intended to be, and God doesn't want that.

775
00:40:07,695 --> 00:40:10,065
God's design for marriage, especially
in the context of a husband or

776
00:40:10,065 --> 00:40:11,595
wife, is to showcase the gospel.

777
00:40:12,495 --> 00:40:16,155
And so men, when you are not doing that,
when you are not showing that sacrificial,

778
00:40:16,155 --> 00:40:19,305
that sanctifying love for your wife, you
are taking something that God meant to

779
00:40:19,305 --> 00:40:23,025
showcase Christ's love for the church
and you are making it about yourself,

780
00:40:24,225 --> 00:40:28,485
you're perverting that and there's nothing
about that that's gonna please God.

781
00:40:30,315 --> 00:40:34,125
The marriage relationship is, is
unique in that, in that, that it's

782
00:40:34,125 --> 00:40:35,955
supposed to showcase the gospel.

783
00:40:38,085 --> 00:40:40,545
Again, I, there may be objections.

784
00:40:40,575 --> 00:40:41,085
Yeah.

785
00:40:41,085 --> 00:40:43,935
But my wife doesn't deserve
for me to love her that way.

786
00:40:45,765 --> 00:40:49,875
Maybe she doesn't, but again,
you're not doing it primarily for

787
00:40:49,875 --> 00:40:54,795
her, and you didn't deserve for
Christ to love you that way either.

788
00:40:57,345 --> 00:41:00,705
Or maybe your objection is Yeah, but, but,
but she makes it difficult for me to lead.

789
00:41:02,970 --> 00:41:06,600
Press on in obedience to Christ and
he's gonna reward your faithfulness.

790
00:41:08,100 --> 00:41:12,810
Men, women are called to submit to your
leadership in marriage, but you are

791
00:41:12,810 --> 00:41:15,210
not called to enforce that necessarily.

792
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:16,920
You're called to lead.

793
00:41:18,570 --> 00:41:19,410
You're called to lead.

794
00:41:19,410 --> 00:41:20,460
She's called to follow.

795
00:41:20,460 --> 00:41:23,730
You lead and trust that the
Lord is gonna reward that.

796
00:41:23,730 --> 00:41:26,160
But then the second thing I would say,
if, if you've got a situation where your

797
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,680
marriage is not good right now, your
wife is not being submissive to your

798
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,570
leadership and you're pursuing the Lord.

799
00:41:31,290 --> 00:41:33,030
Then please come and meet with us.

800
00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:34,680
Get help for your marriage.

801
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:38,430
Don't suffer silently in a
marriage that's not going well.

802
00:41:39,510 --> 00:41:42,510
Come in and and meet with me with
Pastor Radha, with Pastor Mark.

803
00:41:42,510 --> 00:41:46,860
Get counseling so that we can help
you guys in your, your marriage.

804
00:41:48,540 --> 00:41:51,030
Maybe some of you're sitting out there
going, okay, pastor Fiji, this is great

805
00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:52,560
for those that are married to Christians.

806
00:41:52,590 --> 00:41:53,340
I'm married to an unbeliever.

807
00:41:55,950 --> 00:41:58,350
Okay, well, let me
encourage you this way, man.

808
00:41:58,410 --> 00:42:01,290
Lead her in such a way that if
God saves her, she's gonna see

809
00:42:01,290 --> 00:42:03,750
the way that you've loved her as
consistent with God's commands,

810
00:42:05,850 --> 00:42:06,150
right?

811
00:42:06,690 --> 00:42:11,040
You wanna lead her in such a way that if,
if God saves her, she's gonna say, thank

812
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:14,610
you for being faithful to lead me the way
that God's called you to lead me, even

813
00:42:14,610 --> 00:42:17,130
when I wasn't living with you the way
that I should have been living with you.

814
00:42:19,905 --> 00:42:23,025
And trust God's timing and
God's promise that you're gonna

815
00:42:23,025 --> 00:42:24,525
eventually reap what you sow.

816
00:42:24,705 --> 00:42:25,335
In a good way.

817
00:42:26,745 --> 00:42:29,235
Your faithfulness will hear well
done, good and faithful servant.

818
00:42:31,755 --> 00:42:34,875
Was it easy for Christ to love the
church and give himself up for her?

819
00:42:36,075 --> 00:42:36,375
No.

820
00:42:37,995 --> 00:42:38,685
How do we know that?

821
00:42:39,945 --> 00:42:44,145
See the Garden of Gethsemane
would Jesus praying three times.

822
00:42:44,145 --> 00:42:46,425
Father, if there's any other
way, I let this cut pass from me.

823
00:42:47,700 --> 00:42:50,550
But not what I will, but
what you will be done, man.

824
00:42:50,550 --> 00:42:54,960
If you've been distant and dry spiritually
in your walk, it may be that you haven't

825
00:42:54,960 --> 00:42:56,730
been loving your wife as God wants you to.

826
00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:02,370
You've been impatient, heavy handed,
overly demanding, short-tempered, passive

827
00:43:02,370 --> 00:43:06,210
aggressive, or maybe it's been that
you've been living with her in annoyed

828
00:43:06,210 --> 00:43:08,190
way, rather than in an understanding way.

829
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,310
You haven't been praying for her.

830
00:43:11,310 --> 00:43:13,380
You haven't been encouraging
her in her walk with Christ.

831
00:43:13,380 --> 00:43:15,570
You haven't been showing her
honor as the weaker vessel.

832
00:43:17,715 --> 00:43:20,295
And I think Peter would say,
that's a big reason why you're not

833
00:43:20,295 --> 00:43:21,735
feeling close to God right now.

834
00:43:23,505 --> 00:43:26,475
And so if that's you men, this is
a call this morning, an opportunity

835
00:43:26,475 --> 00:43:27,855
this morning for repentance.

836
00:43:29,085 --> 00:43:31,785
Is there an area in your life, man,
where you haven't been loving your

837
00:43:31,785 --> 00:43:36,285
wife well, where you need to confess
before the Lord and to your wife?

838
00:43:38,385 --> 00:43:41,475
Do you need to bring another brother
in Christ into that situation or

839
00:43:41,475 --> 00:43:44,775
one of our pastors and confess there
and, and find accountability there?

840
00:43:46,635 --> 00:43:49,905
Men, are there areas of leadership this
morning that this is that opportunity

841
00:43:49,905 --> 00:43:54,255
that God has put in your laps this
morning to, to see that change and to

842
00:43:54,255 --> 00:43:58,635
resolve, to make change, and to commit
to, to different pursuits, different

843
00:43:59,055 --> 00:44:00,945
ways of, of leading and loving your wife

844
00:44:02,985 --> 00:44:06,435
to today's that data, to to make those
choices, to get that accountability.

845
00:44:06,435 --> 00:44:09,585
And what will that accountability
look like for you in that?

846
00:44:14,310 --> 00:44:18,360
One final point of, of warning on this,
Matt, is, is not just what it does

847
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:23,550
to your walk, but I also want you to
think about your family, your kids,

848
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:26,100
man.

849
00:44:26,100 --> 00:44:28,770
If you're not strong in your relationship
with the Lord, you're gonna suffer

850
00:44:28,770 --> 00:44:30,120
and so will your whole family.

851
00:44:30,125 --> 00:44:34,770
And, and, and if you've got kids
at home, they will suffer for your

852
00:44:34,770 --> 00:44:36,120
lack of leadership in this area.

853
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:41,820
It's not just your wife and you who are
gonna suffer if you don't love her and

854
00:44:41,820 --> 00:44:43,560
lead her and show her honor this way.

855
00:44:44,985 --> 00:44:47,355
You're gonna have kids at home
that are watching and learning.

856
00:44:47,385 --> 00:44:49,725
You're gonna have daughters at
home that are learning from how you

857
00:44:49,725 --> 00:44:53,295
treat their mom, about what type
of man they need to be looking for.

858
00:44:54,975 --> 00:44:58,725
You've got sons at home that are
learning about how you treat their mom,

859
00:44:59,655 --> 00:45:01,945
what type of man that they're gonna
be with their spouse in the future.

860
00:45:04,860 --> 00:45:08,130
And you think about what they may
put into practice and the patterns

861
00:45:08,130 --> 00:45:10,650
that they may replicate in their
own marriages down the road.

862
00:45:10,650 --> 00:45:12,810
And then you think about
eventually your grandkids.

863
00:45:12,810 --> 00:45:17,730
And I just want you to feel the weight of
the generational impact that you not doing

864
00:45:17,730 --> 00:45:19,590
what God is calling you to do could have.

865
00:45:21,150 --> 00:45:23,220
And then on the flip side, I
want you to consider that the

866
00:45:23,220 --> 00:45:24,630
legacy that you could leave.

867
00:45:25,830 --> 00:45:27,045
And if you love your wife well.

868
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:32,850
If your daughters grow up and they kick
all those dusty boys to the curb because

869
00:45:32,850 --> 00:45:35,880
they know, man, I saw my dad love my mom.

870
00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:39,390
Well, and I'm not settling
for anything less than that.

871
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:44,910
Or you're young men in your home growing
up, loving their wives well, and the

872
00:45:44,910 --> 00:45:46,405
generational legacy that that could start.

873
00:45:49,590 --> 00:45:51,210
God cares deeply about marriage.

874
00:45:51,210 --> 00:45:53,790
He cares deeply about men
leading well in marriage and

875
00:45:53,790 --> 00:45:55,170
fulfilling our roles as a husband.

876
00:45:55,170 --> 00:45:58,950
So much so that if we're neglecting him
in that area, the consequences are gonna

877
00:45:58,950 --> 00:46:00,960
spill over into our relationship with him.

878
00:46:02,250 --> 00:46:06,540
The surest path to a strong and
healthy marriage is a godly man,

879
00:46:06,540 --> 00:46:08,340
committed being the godly husband.

880
00:46:08,340 --> 00:46:09,420
The God calls him to be.

881
00:46:11,340 --> 00:46:12,600
God has called husbands.

882
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:15,060
I think again, to be the, the
keystone of a godly marriage.

883
00:46:15,810 --> 00:46:17,250
Not every marriage is a godly marriage.

884
00:46:17,250 --> 00:46:20,910
There's a lot of nuance and, and different
circumstances that can impact that.

885
00:46:22,410 --> 00:46:25,680
But for the husbands in the room, the
safest place for you to be is to be the

886
00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:29,730
husband that God is calling you to be, to
live with your wives in an understanding

887
00:46:29,730 --> 00:46:32,880
way, to show her honor as the weaker
vessel, as a fellow heir of the grace

888
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:37,050
of life for the sake of your walk, so
that your prayers may not be hindered.

889
00:46:38,970 --> 00:46:41,760
Once again, I, I know that this
sermon is more targeted than the

890
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:42,780
ones that you typically hear of me.

891
00:46:42,780 --> 00:46:44,580
And next week we're gonna speak to wives.

892
00:46:44,730 --> 00:46:48,210
Yeah, but in both instances
it, it matters for all of us.

893
00:46:49,530 --> 00:46:51,090
What you've heard this morning.

894
00:46:52,620 --> 00:46:53,790
We need prayer.

895
00:46:53,970 --> 00:46:55,620
The husbands in this room need prayer.

896
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,050
We need your prayers to be praying
for us, that we would be that

897
00:46:58,050 --> 00:47:00,660
type of man in our marriages.

898
00:47:01,260 --> 00:47:04,200
It matters for us because the young men in
the room, this is what God is calling them

899
00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:07,650
to be as they grow up and as they step
into those roles and into those marriages.

900
00:47:07,650 --> 00:47:10,530
It matters for the young women because
this is the type of man that they

901
00:47:10,530 --> 00:47:14,280
need to look for as they're pursuing
marriage in the future themselves.

902
00:47:15,330 --> 00:47:18,750
It matters because this is the, the
way that the gospel is displayed

903
00:47:18,750 --> 00:47:21,840
through relationships to the world
around us as we live these, these

904
00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:26,280
roles out as a husband and wife, and
it matters because we will be better

905
00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,370
off as a church if we have strong,
godly men leading their wives This way,

906
00:47:31,530 --> 00:47:36,090
all the stones matter in the strength
of an archway, but it's the keystone

907
00:47:36,090 --> 00:47:40,110
that bears the burden of sustaining
the whole and marriage, both the

908
00:47:40,110 --> 00:47:43,680
husband and wife matter to the strength
and health of the relationship.

909
00:47:44,490 --> 00:47:46,920
But it's the husband that God
is called to be the keystone

910
00:47:48,270 --> 00:47:50,340
and to set the tone, let's pray.

911
00:47:51,930 --> 00:47:53,040
God, we thank you for your word.

912
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:54,240
We thank you for husbands.

913
00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:55,320
We thank you for marriage.

914
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:55,945
We thank you for the gift.

915
00:47:56,850 --> 00:47:57,450
Of marriage.

916
00:47:58,020 --> 00:48:00,660
Lord, I, I pray for the men
in this room who are husbands.

917
00:48:00,660 --> 00:48:04,320
I pray that you would help them
to live out well, their role as a

918
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,080
man of God, that, that you would
help them to love their wives.

919
00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,660
Well, I pray that even this morning,
if there's areas that need to be

920
00:48:09,930 --> 00:48:13,200
repented of, if there's areas that
need to be committed to, if there's.

921
00:48:13,275 --> 00:48:17,265
Resolve that needs to be made this morning
to do things differently, that today

922
00:48:17,265 --> 00:48:20,235
would be the day that that's enacted,
that it wouldn't be kicked down the,

923
00:48:20,235 --> 00:48:21,795
the, the street that it wouldn't be.

924
00:48:21,795 --> 00:48:23,835
Let's just continue to
settle for status quo.

925
00:48:23,835 --> 00:48:27,795
Let's just grin and bear it and be
pleasant roommates until the kids move

926
00:48:27,795 --> 00:48:29,175
out, and then we'll figure out what to do.

927
00:48:29,175 --> 00:48:31,845
But that we would see that
marriage matters in your eyes.

928
00:48:32,985 --> 00:48:36,195
But a mindful, mindful as husbands that
when we stand before Christ in the bema

929
00:48:36,195 --> 00:48:39,885
seat, part of what we will be giving an
account for was how we loved our wives.

930
00:48:40,755 --> 00:48:43,365
And I thank you so much that
your word is clear on that.

931
00:48:43,785 --> 00:48:47,565
At the same time, God, I, I acknowledge
that it's not easy, and I just

932
00:48:47,565 --> 00:48:50,325
pray that you would help us as
husbands to have that selfless love.

933
00:48:50,325 --> 00:48:53,385
That is what we're called
to have for our wives.

934
00:48:54,135 --> 00:48:57,555
And God, I I pray that you would
give us great joy in that pursuit,

935
00:48:57,555 --> 00:49:01,335
as I know there can be such great
joy in that, that marriage can

936
00:49:01,335 --> 00:49:03,075
be so fulfilling and satisfying.

937
00:49:03,165 --> 00:49:05,505
And so, Lord, marriage is a gift.

938
00:49:05,925 --> 00:49:06,735
It's a gift.

939
00:49:06,795 --> 00:49:10,185
And when we are doing these things, when
our, our men are leading in this way,

940
00:49:10,875 --> 00:49:12,375
that there's much joy to be found there.

941
00:49:12,765 --> 00:49:15,585
And so I pray, God, that we would
be a church filled with strong,

942
00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:19,245
godly marriages and that you'd be
pleased with their testimonies.

943
00:49:19,635 --> 00:49:20,805
We pray this in Jesus' name.

944
00:49:20,955 --> 00:49:21,285
Amen.